Reading Reviews for Cui Bono
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ray Chapter 4

20th March 2013:
Hey! It's been a while since you updated, so I hope you haven't abandoned the fanfic! It's really good, and I really hope you keep with it - I really can't wait to see what you've got next. The plot is fantastic! Keep up the good work and please update! :)

Author's Response: Absolutely not abandoning this fic - I'm currently trying to push through something similar to writers block, which is caused by hating everything I write. Chapter 5 was pre-written a while ago, but needed to be edited to bring it in line with plot developments after it. It will probably be a few more weeks, unfortunately.
Thanks for sticking around :-)


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Review #2, by water_lily43175 Chapter 4

5th February 2013:
I knew that the idea of joining Lyndon's campaign would become a tempting one to Astoria! (Mind, that's hardly rocket science given that's evidently the basis of the plot...) She's still hesitant though. It'll be intriguing to see whether she comes round gradually, or whether any one thing in particular convinces her to do it.

Oh Draco, drinking brandy in the morning. And I LOVE that description of him, with the symbolism of the dark and the light, marvellously done.

Nice to see more Draco/Astoria interaction, and it seems that we'll get a little bit more next chapter! I like Daphne too; I like that she's looking out for Astoria, and the couldn't-care-less attitude she has towards politics is actually quite refreshing in a way! Not, of course, that I don't like the politics - as I've said, I love this kind of fic - but it's nice to have a character around who DOESN'T care for it.

Cortewalle's condition is bewildering! Why remove EIGHT MONTHS of his memory? I suppose, if the motive here was to disable Lyndon's campaign, then removing that much ensures that even once he's found he can't go back to the campaign because he won't have a clue what's going on. Seems vicious, though. And his mutterings are bemusing as well, to say the least!

I like the way you've introduced all of the candidates. For a start it's nice to know a bit about them all, and it's doubly effective that we learn about them from themselves (or their campaign managers) rather than from someone like Tristan filling Astoria in on them all. It's also good that they each have their own, separate agenda to the others', and actually Miremont's campaign is a really intriguing one! And worrying. And SO GOOD because it could be a clear-cut thing but instead she has her own motives for it and I LOVE that. Complexities galore, every character as well developed as the next. A short chapter, but still a good 'un!

Author's Response: Another review! Yay!

I won't go into Astoria's hesitance with joining the campaign as it's coming in the next chap :-)

Thank you! This Draco does still have some dark in him. He may no longer be running around doing the will of the Dark Lord, but he hasn't completely shaken off his old self - take away Voldemort, add a few years, and he is still an ambitious, manipulative, power-mongering Malfoy. I don't mind all the stories where Draco is completely redeemed, but that's not a Draco I see in my headcanon. I think it's reasonable that while the War would have forced Draco to change, it would have been more of a process. I can't see him turning into a great humanitarian just like that!

Absolutely MOAR Draco/Astoria to come! Poor Daphne is in a bit of a pickle - both of her siblings have made politics their lifeblood, where she hasn't been taken in by it. She'd love nothing more than for Tristan and Astoria to put a sock in it!

The motivation for Cotewalle's outing is a plot spoiler, but he has effectively been run out of the campaign. With his short-term memory affected and a complete loss of eight months, Lyndon definitely won't consider reinstating him. It is a bit vicious, isn't it?

I'm glad you don't mind all the introductions - I've worried that all the perspective jumping might be a bit off-putting. I have tried to give real world issues a wizarding world makeover. I see the inter-species marriage issue similar to gay marriage - inter-species marriage here is a hugely controversial issue that tends to polarise people, and Miremont's decided to cash in. The anti-half-breed stance would mirror racism. We know that Lupin suffered a lot of discrimination because he was a werewolf, and I don't think there would have been much of an improvement post-War, especially after Fenrir Greyback's role in the War. Giants had supported Voldemort during both Wars, and would find themselves equally reviled. With Rhodes having cornered the anti-pureblood vote, Miremont is using all this hate to build support for herself.

Thank you for reviewing again:-)


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Review #3, by Ray Chapter 4

29th January 2013:
This is so short - it ended too soon! :D But still amazing - the plot gets thicker and thicker. I love how Draco is almost condescending, but not quite. He's so polite, yet cold. I love it. And Astoria - making her American is perfect. Seriously - this is amazing. I'm sure I've said that before. Can't wait for the update!

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm glad you brought that up about Draco - in my head he has had to develop a polite public persona. His mother, I think, would have brought him up that way and he certainly wouldn't have gotten away with acting like he did around Harry in the post-war world. Underneath the public veneer is still that insulting boy from Hogwarts who won't lay down so easily!
Even though Astoria and Draco went to Hogwarts together, Astoria being from America does cut out that in-between period and gives them a chance to keep the mystery :-)
Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #4, by sdg2932 Chapter 4

29th January 2013:
I truely enjoy following this story. It just gets better with each chapter. I love the chemistry between Draco and Astoria. Looking forward to reading the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like what's beginning with the Draco/Astoria - their ship is a bit of a slow burn.
Thanks for reviewing :-)


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Review #5, by water_lily43175 Chapter 3

17th January 2013:
Lyndon holds a campaign in a restaurant, and Corvus holds a full on gala in his ballroom. How very pureblood of him!

The tension between Tristan and the Corvus campaigners is wonderful here. There's a lot of humour and pleasantries on the surface but nobody shies away from making little digs wherever possible. Also, the difference between society in Britain and the US has been mentioned before, but here it highlights really well how Astoria's time in the US has influenced her views on British society, and why it means she'd be both pleased and saddened to see the end of the hierarchy at the same time.

Corvus' speech just emphasises how Rhodes' anti-pureblood propaganda undermines his own campaign. And indeed, it's very easy to see how Corvus could gather such support from purebloods, even those who aren't murderous ex-Death Eaters. Rhodes' persecution of them is just going to push them in Corvus' direction. But then I suppose Rhodes wouldn't consider that a bad thing per se, as he's hardly appealing to purebloods for votes. It may help Lyndon though, because he's in the position where he could garner the support of purebloods who feel victimised by Rhodes but don't see eye to eye with Corvus either.

I've been looking forward to the first Draco/Astoria interaction! His motives in inviting her intrigue me as much as her; I doubt he's scouting for a wife just yet! They are utterly engaging as a pair; there's a lot of chemistry there and if they weren't on opposing sides in this election campaign (because I get the feeling that Astoria is near-enough on Lyndon's team, and besides, she clearly doesn't agree with Corvus' own campaign) then they'd get on very well. It's a promising start and it will be interesting to see how things develop as the election campaign goes on.

Astoria's father's influence on her actions is intriguing. It seemed as though the Greengrasses weren't full supporters of Voldemort - after all, given that Tristan doesn't seem to group himself with the purebloods any more, and Astoria's views are fairly liberal (though admittedly influenced by her time in the US) it seemed unlikely that Greengrass Sr would be a fully fledged Death Eater. And that turns out to be the case. But he still supported Voldemort to some extent. Interesting.

I love the Corvus tactic here - that they WANT Astoria to be involved with Lyndon's campaign in order to derail Rhodes. I have a feeling that that may backfire, as if Lyndon receives too much support he may well snatch the rug from under Corvus' feet. It will make things interesting if it means that they're trying to encourage Astoria's involvement, though. Draco's take on her is amusing, because he ALMOST finds himself impressed by Astoria's strengths within politics - until he adds on the condition that she's impressive for an American. Malfoys can't give anyone credit easily!

Aha, trying to get the media on side. Yet more political manoeuvring. I'm not so sure if the Wizarding Wireless Network will side with Corvus ... or whether Lyndon's lot will get there first? If so, I suspect Astoria involvement.

Also, I love all of the different varieties of brandy and wine and whatnot. Expensive liquor is important in pureblood circles!

I'm really enjoying this fic so far, I absolutely love all the political goings-on! I hope you update soon. :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

The little digs between Tristan and Corvus' side were fun to write in. Tristan definitely isn't the sort to let that opportunity go.

Astoria's time in the US has changed her. She has had such a privileged upbringing and then been sent over to America for a culture shock (I've assumed that America would not have such strict blood views). Corvus' gala is a blast from the past - it's all childhood and bittersweet memories. I love the idea of pureblood balls and the romanticism of them so I did like setting Corvus' gala at one.

Rhodes' anti-pureblood propaganda is certainly helping Corvus. It presents Corvus with the opportunity of something to mobilise and fight against, and the Corvus v. Rhodes match-up will be playing a larger role later on.

Lyndon is sitting in a very fortunate niche!

The Draco/Astoria has been a long time coming! I debated on bringing it in earlier but just couldn't do it - there was a lot of scene-setting that had to happen first. This is the second review of this chap that has mentioned chemistry, which makes me chuffed to no end - that's exactly what I was going for! I don’t want to plot spoil on this bit so I'll stop typing :-)

The Greengrass family is just another pureblood family that Voldemort has managed to take the wrecking ball to. Astoria's father will impact little sections of plot and his involvement in Voldemort's ranks become clearer as it goes on.

I'm so glad you liked Corvus' strategy - I thought it may come across as 'well, you've just added that strategy in there because it gives the opportunity for gratuitous Draco/Astoria action'. While I never say no to gratuitous Draco/Astoria, it benefits Corvus immensely to keep all three of his opponents in play. Removing any one of them only weakens his position. Far better that Astoria evens the field!

Of course Lucius would go straight for the WWN, there's no end to the Malfoy cunning :-)

Ha - very important for the purebloods to have extravagant drinks like dragon brandy and such for a tipple.

Thank you so much for your amazing reviews! I was so stoked to log on and see one on each chap. It's good to see that the important points are being picked up on and that the ship seems to be working so far! :-)


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Review #6, by water_lily43175 Chapter 2

17th January 2013:
Oh, the irony of Voldemort bringing about the end of the pureblood aristocracy. It's interesting that that wasn't more of an immediate thing though; that seven years on, the rich pureblood families still have power and authority to some extent. But this kind of social change is something I absolutely love. Moreover, I love Astoria's opinions on it. She's clearly not a pureblood supremacist, and sees the ending of the class system as a good thing, but yet she still regrets that it has to happen, and I love that she's not completely black and white on the issue. It's actually very easy to sympathise with her on that, because who DOESN'T like the occasional posh frock do? And, of course, everyone succumbs to nostalgia. Astoria's views on politicians are utterly marvellous, too. She works with them, so of course she sees through them completely! It will be interesting to see how Lyndon fares in her eyes.

Comparison of Muggle/wizarding political systems, this pleases me greatly. Astoria would, of course, like the idea of the monarchy. But Lyndon's ideas for reform are utterly fascinating - and actually highlight the fact that the Ministry in its current form is completely undemocratic. It's something I'd never really thought about before, but ... the Minister has his fingers all over the Wizengamot! There's absolutely no separation of powers at all. Minister makes laws, Minister executes laws, Minister judges. Or near enough, at any rate. Fudge did his best to influence the result of Harry's hearing but the Wizengamot still freed him in the end. Either way, all legal power is given to the one body within the Ministry, and it's far from democratic. So, I like Lyndon's ideas of reform ... but Astoria is right, it's a risky business.

Incidentally, I like that Shacklebolt's done his best to make the Ministry better, but there are still downfalls. His main challenge was restabilising the wizarding world after the war, and he seems to have done that well, but there's still much more that can be done within the Ministry to improve it, and Lyndon seems to be the man for the job at the moment.

"I told you he was a strange creature." Cortewalle has a way with words. I like him already. And Astoria's not completely carried away by Lyndon as of yet. She's probably heard all of this before; and it's one thing for a politician to promise something, and quite another for them to implement it. Nevertheless, a reasonable first impression has been made.

Cortewalle's disappearance is ... intriguing, to say the least. Is a Malfoy involved, perhaps? I suspect so. Anyway, this little passage has increased my excitement for the Draco/Astoria to come!

It didn't take long for Lyndon's team to try to snap Astoria up! Her unwillingness is interesting, and I like that she's hesitant about agreeing to get involved rather than jumping at the opportunity right from the start. And yet, there's SOMETHING about the idea that appeals to her.

Hmm, the Corvus campaign is already interested in Astoria. She's in demand!

Rhodes' campaign manager sounds dangerous - and if he has those views then it's likely that Rhodes himself shares them. At first, a candidate promoting blood equality sounded promising but it now appears as though Rhodes in fact promotes pureblood inferiority, which is DEFINITELY not the way to go. An argument against equality cannot be fought with the completely opposite argument!

Cortewalle seen with Lucius ... as I'd expected, the Corvus campaign is involved. But it's intriguing because it seems as though Cortewalle willingly met up with Lucius. There's clearly far more going on than appears at face value. Dirty tactics from Corvus, though. Most curious!

Author's Response: Second review! Huzzah!

Ah, Voldemort. Poor old bugger. His whole pro-pureblood thing has been bollixed up quite epically :-) I took a bit of Hermione's post-Hogwarts career into consideration with the timeline for reforming the Ministry. Apparently she was working initially for things like goblins rights and then went onto the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to tear down the pro-pureblood laws. Without knowing how long she spent doing either of these things, I've moved her on over to Law Enforcement for a shake-down at the time of the election. (Hermione does has a little cameo later on.)

Astoria is a bit of a cynic. I won't go into it too much (because I plan on doing so in a later chap) but she didn't get into politics like many probably do because of idealism, she simply had the connections and the skill. Her connection with Gallows means that she's seen the ugly side and gone in eyes wide open. Backroom deals, dirty tricks, image-making, and the ease with which a candidate will agree to go negative have made her unable to believe in the candidate, even if she can believe in the message.

Thank you! I've been really worried about that whole first section where Astoria speaks with Lyndon. I ended up cutting it entirely, and then was convinced to write it back in (and expand on it). I'm glad it's got you thinking about how top-heavy the Ministry is. I came to that same conclusion when researching the Ministry and the Wizengamot - it is completely undemocratic. I have take a teensy liberty and embellished it a bit - there's no canon that states exactly how the Wizengamot or Ministry Officials are elected or appointed. (I'm half hoping for and dreading that Pottermore will shed some light on it.)

It's probably obvious that I'm rooting for Lyndon ha ha. Lyndon would be such a breath of fresh air in the Ministry, but it's been difficult for me to not put him forward as Mr. Dream all-the-answers Politician. I'm working on his flaws. I hope that his wish for Astoria to 'go negative' on his behalf is the first sign that his convictions can be undermined.

You're absolutely right - Corvus' team is behind Cortewalle's disappearance. I feel oddly happy that you've liked Cortewalle and then he's been treated so poorly (-_-') it was important to show that the Malfoys will really stop at nothing, even with hexing the elderly. Mission accomplished!

Astoria will definitely need some convincing to step into the British arena (enter outside forces *cough* Draco *cough*).

Again, spot on. Apart from introducing Rhodes' side of the election, the section featuring Spontin does introduce a bit of uncertainty - while there is a lot of merit to Rhodes' campaign, it could so easily be taken too far...

I'm loving these reviews! Heading on over to the next!


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Review #7, by water_lily43175 Chapter 1

17th January 2013:
I'm a sucker for fics with a political theme, I enjoy reading post-war fics about Draco because he can be a very intriguing character, and I love the more 'obscure' pairings like Draco/Astoria ... so you've got me hook, line and sinker here!

I thoroughly enjoy when people develop and expand on JK's version of the wizarding world in areas which she left fairly vague. There's obviously lots of scope to do that when it comes to the politics of the wizarding world because she leaves that very bare - but I love that you've also developed the political system in the US. It's not necessarily a vital bit of detail, and perhaps that's why I like it so much, because you've clearly put so much thought into it and it really makes the fic much more realistic and believable as a whole, so kudos for that - and for the name of the fourth quart, which has me chuckling a little bit.

I love the "What in the Weird" section in The Pundit. And the Lyndon campaign's wand-holsters. Amazing! Again, little details that I absolutely adore. And I find Daphne's comparative lack of interest thoroughly amusing as well!

The Draco/Lucius relationship seems interesting - that Lucius lost Draco's respect during the war but has gained it back to some extent since. Draco always came across as being less enthusiastic and radical as his father, so it'll be interesting to see how they get along at this point in time. And Lucius WOULD still support pureblood supremacy any way he could, wouldn't he?

A lot of love here for the detail on the campaign to get rid of the archaic laws too, and the Wizengamot's unwillingness to repeal a lot of them. And that the political process is COMPLETELY ridiculous in its near-impossibility to get something passed, which seems to be the norm in any system these days. Yet more political expansion which I love. And the relevance of the blood supremacy row, and the different approaches of the candidates, is an intriguing one. Good start!

Author's Response: Thank you for your reviews!

Draco has always been one of my favourite characters. I've tried to give him a post-war life that I could see him in, and following along the line of his forefathers, meddling in the Ministry goings-on, seemed the most real to me. Setting Astoria in a family that has that same political grounding, albeit a somewhat more tame one, was the general idea of the story.

I am enjoying writing about the politics. There's just not all that much that we know about them, so while I'm having fun 'inventing' them, it is a challenge to keep it believable (I'm stoked you're finding the detail contributes to believability).

The US system was fleshed out a bit when I started thinking about what Astoria might have been doing over in the US and what sort of events could lead her back home to Britain, and I had to write it out to make sense of it (which ended up forming the basis of the prologue). I also wanted it to set Astoria up as someone who knows what they're doing, right from the beginning. I'm glad you liked it. It does sort of set the scene as very political so I think it might tend to turn away the people who don't find an interest in that side of the wizarding world.

The father/son relationship is something that will become more important later on. Lucius is technically the brains of the outfit, forced to work his magic from the confines of the Manor. Draco has a lot more legroom as the more socially acceptable Malfoy, and while he is not as accomplished as his father, he has learnt from the best. Astoria is going to present them both a bit of a challenge.

I'm loving that you're enjoying the little details. The archaic laws are something that will crop up throughout. They were one of the important issues that could create this situation where blood supremacy again becomes a hot topic, the wizarding public begins to turn against the Ministry, and Shacklebolt's image as the man who 'reformed' the Ministry is undermined.

The Wizengamot are ridiculous. They are the last remnants of Fudge's and Voldemort's Ministry, and Shacklebolt's reforms are enough to turn them against him and make his job (and abolishing the archaic pureblood laws) that much more difficult.

Thank you for reviewing this chap :-)


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Review #8, by Ray Chapter 3

16th January 2013:
This is amazing. Please update soon! The chemistry between the two is sizzling - I love this take on Draco and Astoria's relationship.

Author's Response: Thank you so much - I'm glad you liked it! Always good to hear feedback on how these two are shipping.

(It will likely be a fortnight or so until the next chap is queued.)


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Review #9, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Chapter 2

23rd August 2012:
Hello, Elphaba back again!

So, while this is a long chapter I did enjoy it very much! You mentioned potentially cutting some things in your response to my review for chapter one. That's all up to you, but a couple of things that I think you should definitely keep from the first meeting are Astoria's observation that her brother and Cortewalle no longer identify with the purebloods, and the mentions of checks and balances and separation of powers. These all seem important for character development and in establishing Lyndon's platform.

I don't think you jump around too much in this chapter; by switching POVs you give readers clues that we couldn't get if we stuck with Astoria the entire time. The line breaks signal quite nicely that we are shifting to another day/location/character. Could a Malfoy have made a donation to Lyndon's campaign? How is Cort's meeting with Lucius Malfoy connected to his disappearance? I found this little section to be very intriguing.

I think it's also good that we find out here why Thersander Rhodes may not be a good choice for minister -- blood equality won't come from a politician whose campaign is based on the hatred of purebloods.

I don't mind OCs at all when they are necessary to a story, so the fact that they keep popping up hasn't phased me a bit. This is a side of the wizarding world that we really haven't seen much of (other than the Death Eater meetings at the Malfoy mansion, and most of those characters are either dead or in Azkaban) so it makes sense for there to be new characters. I also love that you include new locations like The Bird In The Hand to help establish a wider, adult wizarding world.

If you were to split this chapter into two, I think the point to do it would be at the beginning of the gala, with the sentence that begins with, "Astoria accepted the invitation..."

There was one weird editorial thing that I noticed in this section, when Astoria is trying to determine who sent her the invitation. First, Thurkell tells Christian, "I'll ask her to send Malfoy a thank you card." Then, Astoria thanks Corvus for the invitation, only to be told that it didn't come from him, by which she deduces that Malfoy must have sent it. We find out twice that Malfoy sent the invitation, so one of these exchanges can be cut.

I find it fascinating that Astoria seems to lament the passing of the purebloods' domination, while simultaneously accepting it. She is a very interesting character so far, and I like the way you've been writing her.

I really like the combative banter between Draco and Astoria during the gala. I do get the sense that here are a couple of equally-matched wits who might be interested in each other recreationally, if only politics didn't get in the way. A couple of favorite lines that made me giggle:

"My sincerest apologies, something about the corn-fed accent led me to believe I was operating over your head."

and:

"Here you thought you were point-scoring when really you've been playing in the sandbox all by yourself."

Keep up the great work! :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yep, I think I can integrate that section I mentioned into Lyndon's fundraiser without too much fuss - that way it won't be a stand alone section. Will definitely be pulling those parts out too - separation of powers/checks & balances/no longer identifying.

The Malfoys do have a few tricks up their sleeves - I'm glad you've got the impression that they are causing things going on in the background, which will definitely come into play later on so I won't speak any further on it as you're touching on a few plot threads there ;) It's not until 20K words in that I've written in a good strategic move by Draco (there will be blood!) so good to hear that the Malfoys are coming across as players initially.

I'm glad you like Astoria! I'm having a lot of fun with writing her. I've assumed the American wizarding view on blood status would be more relaxed, following along the vein of the real world - they'd think the British fighting a war over blood status as a bit weird and out of touch. (Plus, I've now got the image of cowboy wizards in my mind, and I don't think they'd stand for that nonsense.) Luckily Astoria's seen the best and worst of both worlds.

Draco and Astoria's opposing views and (eventual) teams make it quite fun to write their dialogue. My premise for the Draco/Astoria union is that it will come about as another aspect of their professional interaction and I've tried to tie it in that way.

As to the invitation, I think I will have to get a beta to pick these sorts of things up. I find that I read my writing so many times that it loses all meaning to me, I do think I need a fresh pair of eyes (which is why I have to thank you again for reviewing!)

I've only recently gotten back into fanfiction and fics full of OCs in the past tended to make me click the back button, so when I started this fic I was a bit hesitant about cramming them everywhere - but as you say, I can't see a way around it because there's not enough canon after the war and JKR had to stop somewhere (although I would love for her to just continue on *sigh*)

I have to say, both of your reviews have been constructive and kind, and thank you for reviewing this chap :-)


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Review #10, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Chapter 1

19th August 2012:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

First of all, wow -- the politics in your story are obviously very thoroughly developed. I think that blood status and public scandal are very interesting and relevant political controversies (I've got NPR on, discussing the upcoming presidential election in the background as I type this). Some people might be frightened off when they see "politics," thinking of the type of trade federation mumbo-jumbo that bogged down the Star Wars franchise, but I really like where your story is going so far.

Your writing is dignified, just like the stately mansions and the sophisticated people you describe. It's also very clean, grammar and punctuation-wise. The one tip I have is that the names of newspapers (The Pundit and Daily Prophet) should be italicized.

I love the little humorous details like the campaign wand holsters and the "What in the Weird" section of the newspaper. The informal name for the fourth quart made me laugh out loud (I'd type it here, if it wouldn't violate the terms of service). :)

I like that you sent Astoria off to America during the war. I really like that she has some very Slytherin qualities (cleverness, ambition, likes power) but also seems to have morals.

Also, kudos for pairing Draco with his actual future wife!

As I'm preparing to continue on to your second chapter, I do have one comment about the length. It's 9100 words, which I think may be a little daunting for many people, and I wonder if that's why you haven't gotten any reviews for it, yet? You may want to consider splitting it into two chapters. If I find a good splitting point as I'm reading, I will let you know!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing :-)

I've always thought of Draco/Astoria as a turbulent kind of pairing, as they would have married during a time that must have been very difficult for the Malfoy family and purebloods in general. To me, all the deception and point-scoring that was happening between them in my mind just screamed politics... but I think my problem will be trying to rein the politics in! I will have to be mindful that really focusing on the nitty-gritty of the climate that I'm imagining can probably get a bit boring, especially to someone who has clicked in due to the romance tag. I've just gone and had a quick re-read and I think the first section of chap 2 could probably be cut entirely (long discourse RE Lyndon's platform) without removing anything really vital - I think I took 2K words too many to say what could have been said in one paragraph ha ha. Oh dear, I can get a bit long-winded.

Shall clear up the newspapers in the next edit :-)

Draco/Astoria is my favourite canon pairing! I do like to stick to canon where possible, but this business of a permanent Minister in Shacklebolt just had to go ;)

Definitely will take reducing the chapter length on board. This should help to curb my bad habit of constant editing because I will feel three times as bad if I clog the queue with revised chapters!

Thank you again, I've found this very helpful - especially with making this story more readable.

(Trade federation mumbo-jumbo, gosh I'm laughing!)


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Review #11, by Broken Butterfly Chapter 1

17th August 2012:
I do not think that Astoria's thoughts take away from the story at all. In fact I think that it adds to them. Furthermore, the only problem with you focusing solely on her thoughts is the third person your story is written in. I recommend trying first person and seeing how it turns out.

Author's Response: Firstly, thanks for reviewing!
I've been a bit worried about overloading the reader with Astoria's thoughts and detracting from the enjoyment a reader might get from the way I'm telling the story.
As to POV - I've been worried about this too! I initially started the story in first person but as I got to the the POV of my OCs I was writing in third. I couldn't get into writing in first because they were just such small snippets. I'm writing during the years that JKR hasn't really fleshed out with canon characters, and I felt like I needed some consistency in the POV - since there's so many unfamiliar characters and my plot is about to get quite involved - and hence the third person :-)
My hope is that as the story goes on, the POV will feel like a pair of comfy shoes (and hopefully make some sense to the reader!) If not, I will have a long re-write ahead of me.
Thank you again for reviewing :-)


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Review #12, by sdg2932 Chapter 1

19th June 2012:
I throughly enjoyed this chapter. Especialy enjoyed the political intrigue so far, that will make up this Draco and Astoria story. I haven't read many good stories on this ship, your diffently off to a good start. I'm looking forward to reading your next chapter.

Author's Response: The first review and it was ever so kind - I'm glad I'll be seeing you around!
The characters in my story are going to politicking until the cows come home, I'm afraid they wouldn't have it any other way :-)


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