Reading Reviews for Over The Edge
  
186 Reviews Found

Review #1, by N_Nana Chapter 21, Epilogue: Rose Weasley

24th March 2014:
You were great.
Really, it was worth the effort. I think that you are going to be published one day - I'm sure abut it. Two things you need to improove:

1st: You were doing a great job at character description. There was really a feeling of Victor's presec. He was very mysterious and it was clear as day why rose would fall for him. Charming really. But there was something missing in terms of character development. He kind of stayed the same mysteriaous stranger for the rest of the story. I think he would have needed some softening. Some habbits or quirks to show that Rose was really getting to know him. You described him perfectly from the outside, but there was something missing to make him a real person rather than an ideal. I hope what I mean is understandable - can't get the words quite right.

2nd: The ending is missing something. Maybe it was not the perfect moment to break off. I havent quite figured it out. The problem is, that you have kind of explained everything they are going to do in detail bat it still feels like your leaving them hanging in mid-air. The end doesnt feel solid. Maybe it would have been easier to tell the last part of the last chapter at a time in their future. Some years later when they look back. It would have been easier to make their situation and surroindomgs feel real... Just guessing there. As I said - I just feel like it's not quite right. Might just be something minor.

And last: I was so shocked when I thought Rose had died! You had my crying there! As bad as it felt for me - I think it shows just how great a job you were doing. Your characters found their way right into my heart.

Keep going. I'm sure you're headed in the right direction ;-)

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Review #2, by maikedrei Chapter 21, Epilogue: Rose Weasley

16th February 2014:
I really enjoyed your story! I didn't expect it to be so good, because the pairing is really different.. but you discribed both characters so well and they had a real connection
The end unfortunaly was a bit sudden,but that doesn't matter! Please do more storys like this and congrats to the win of Dobby's!!

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Review #3, by maskedmuggle Chapter 21, Epilogue: Rose Weasley

10th December 2013:
Hey!

Woah I've finally reached the end of this story after reading it very slowly over the past several months! It's been a really great read and I think I may have said this before but congratulations on finishing your first ever novel, especially since it's such an awesome one!

The last chapter (Chapter 20) definitely felt so incredibly intense with Regina/Rose's "chat" and the knife fight, and I definitely did not expect Regina to be that crazy at all! I was super eager reading the beginning of this final chapter to find out what the legal implications would have been - and finding out Viktor had tampered with the evidence and was now sentenced to life in prison was really surprising but also something that I found quite believable. I love how through Viktor's actions you can see how much Viktor has changed and how well Rose/Viktor fit together.

I did personally find it slightly surprising to believe that Albus would help break Krum out and that Rose would be willing to live life forever on the run but.. I guess love and family really does trump everything else!

Although it's taken me so long to get to the end, I really have enjoyed reading your super original story! As I've said before, I love how unique the Rose/Viktor pairing is, and how you characterised them individually as well. You're a really brilliant writer and this story was truly amazing.

- Charlotte :)

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Review #4, by alexaemd123 Chapter 21, Epilogue: Rose Weasley

9th December 2013:
I loved it! One of my favorites definately! Loved it!

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Review #5, by alexaemd123 Chapter One: Prologue: The Man In The Suit

2nd December 2013:
Wow...im excited! Can't wait to read this! Sounds pretty amazing so far!!

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Review #6, by R_Elizabeth Chapter Two: Joseph Heart

17th November 2013:
Bad first - so sorry - million-dollar flat? Surely you mean pounds or sterling or some form of wizard currency?

But now the good - yay! Absolutely love the 50 Shades of Grey criticisms, whether they were on purpose or not (I assume they were though), I just love it. Brilliant surmising of the concept and the whole popular book concept.

I might now quote this to my friends - and when I say might, I will, because they all love 50 Shades of Grey; I however will forever be an Austen fan.

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Review #7, by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot Chapter One: Prologue: The Man In The Suit

18th October 2013:
Okay, sistahh friend. (Assuming you are female, if not, then honorary sistahh friend!) What can I say about your story, besides that I think 'tis fate I stumbled upon it on this unlikely day? I haven't been on this website in literally like three years. I had pretty much forgotten it even existed, until today, when a random tickle in my head suggested I check what this website has been up to in my absence. I saw this story on the Featured section, and it caught my eye. The cover is stunning, the summary you provided even more so. But, to be honest, what really caught my attention was that the actors you chose to "portray" Rose and Viktor, so to speak, are Karen Gillan, and - wait for it - Michael. Freaking. Fassbender. 'Twas love at first sight with this story. I knew that anyone who would choose to use Mr. Fassbender's amazingly gorgeously scrumptious likeness on their cover was someone whose story I needed to feast my grubby little eyes upon. And feast I have thus far, my writer friend!

Since the first sentence, I could NOT stop reading this gem. I was a helpless little fish (with stunningly beautiful scales, of course) minding my own business in the river when BAM! You caught me, hooked me, reeled me in, and threw me from my oblivious existence into a magical flowing rainbow of a river, shades of Intriguing Plot, tints of Witty Dialogue, and colors of ZOMGASDFGHJKL all make up this delightful rainbow.

I have only been able to read to Ch. 7 or 8, as it is time for this gal to go to bed. But I am so glad I found this story, because it is entertaining and Forbiddduun Romaance makes my heart go BOOMBOOM, baybe. I will review more tomorrow and go into detail. This review is weird and rambling because I'm tired. BUT YOU SEEM DELIGHTFUL, AND I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE A TUMBLR SO I CAN STALK, ER, FOLLOW YOU ON IT, AND AND AND MICHAEL FASSBENDER ASDFGHJKL! xD

Also, Viktor/Rose is honestly one of the weirdest pairings, but...they way you're writing it is captivating. And - and I mean this as a compliment! - so far, the way you write them doesn't make me think of Rose and Viktor from HP, it makes me think of YOUR version of them. You've made them your own in this, given them your own voice, which is great! It makes this feel more like OF than FF. Both of which are fantastic, of course. :)

Take care, and God bless! AndtellmeyourTumblrnameifyouhaveoneplease. Xoxoxo. :)

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Review #8, by Julah Chapter 21, Epilogue: Rose Weasley

14th September 2013:
that was a really good story, very well and carefully written, original plot - i liked it very much! congratulations! i hope there will be more finished novels in the future!

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Review #9, by maskedmuggle Chapter Fifteen: Peter

28th August 2013:
Hey!

Ahh poor Rose! I feel so sorry for her, and almost don't believe it myself that Viktor would do such a thing. It definitely seems strange after their -mostly positive - interactions yesterday.. but I thought it was made very clear just how distraught Rose was.

I also liked seeing this "new" side of Peter. It's interesting because Krum in canon seems like a fairly decent guy.. I can't help paralleling how when Hermione was with Krum he seemed "good".. and how Rose will hopefully eventually turn Krum around. I'm actually wondering whether Rose will find out about Hermione/Krum.. I'm hoping she will.. because I'd love to see her reaction to it! As always, I enjoyed reading this! :)

- Charlotte

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Review #10, by maskedmuggle Chapter Fourteen: Regina McFey

28th August 2013:
Hey!

It's been forever.. but um, I'm so glad I finally get to read this story again! It appears that you're not really satisfied with this chapter, but I think you did quite a good job with it! I found the whole Regina McFey part really intriguing. What I really liked was how you said this: She was authoritative, commanding, and more than a little scary., but then you also showed it really strongly through her dialogue and the way she was talking to Rose.

It's interesting seeing Rose and Krum back together again (as in, talking to each other). I'm actually really starting to root for them now - and I don't think I really was before now. :P So I thought this was a great chapter - well written as always! Moving on~

- Charlotte

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Review #11, by WeasleyTwins Chapter Four: Mr. Brooks

12th August 2013:
Hello Becky! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get back here! I should be kicked.

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy the excerpts at the beginning of each chapter? We get to see Rose as writer and also Krum as an emerging character without him appearing yet. It's genius and something I don't see often in fanfiction. I like how the excerpts have a different writing style than the story's, giving it an genuine quality.

I have to tell you that I laughed several times -

"And somehow Rose couldn't imagine Viktor Krum being up for a chat in the loo."

"Rose found herself looking around the room as though expecting to see him ducked behind one of the large swivel chairs or else crouched beneath the table like a child playing hide-and-seek."

Honest to goodness, I was just dying with laughter. The images those two sentences create are too funny, at least, to me! Very smart on your part for they broke up Rose's tension very nicely.

I'd like to say that I love the symbolism behind Rose's office. It's much like her grandfather's. They both started at the very bottom and move upward (assuming that Rose rises in ranks, but again, she obviously writes a book, so I'd say that's a yes). It also connects the two of them in a very subtle, understated way, showing that the hardest workers often take longer to reap the benefits. Or maybe it's just a Weasley thing. :P

I have a feeling that although Krum is going to be hesitant and whatnot, that he'll warm up once he finds out that Rose is Hermione's daughter. That's just a hunch though. I'm very curious as to why Krum has no idea about this book deal and why the lawyer seems to be orchestrating the entire scenario. For that reason alone, I don't like Brooks. Maybe I should, but I don't. He's too much of a shrew and has an attitude (guess that's why he makes a good lawyer!).

I wish I had more to say to you, Becky, but I've got nothing! Your descriptions and characterizations are impeccable. This story should win a Dobby award this year - you will in my book, anyway! I can't wait to continue reading! ♥

Shelby

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Review #12, by Beeezie Chapter Four: Mr. Brooks

15th July 2013:
Oh, dear.

I know Heart said he didn't want a sports writer, and he wanted someone to give Krum depth, but as a huge sports fan, the cynic in me could totally see what he was saying, and the sad part is that I can also see how it would play to people, especially he's an athlete. Stories about fallen athletes with substance abuse problems are a dime a dozen. Redemption stories are something everyone seems to like.

And, if it wasn't already clear that Heart was very bottom-line, get-the-story-at-all-costs, this definitely would have hammered it in. Sending Rose in unprepared like that was ridiculous, and I'm curious to see how she handles it.

And, of course, once again, you made a great choice in what you chose to reveal in the excerpt of Rose's book at the start of the chapter. But that's nothing new.

Lovely, lovely job.

HOUSE CUP 2013 - RAVENCLAW

Author's Response: I had to play around a lot with just why and how Rose would find herself in the position of writing Krum's book. It felt like she needed to go into it without any real bias, so making her a sports fan didn't feel like a good fit. But why else then would she be given the job? I'm glad Heart's reasoning felt sound. He wants to give Rose a chance at something big, but he also wants to maximize profits.

Thank you for the string of lovely reviews. I'm so tickled you picked to read a few chapters on this story for the House Cup! Thanks again!!


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Review #13, by Beeezie Chapter Three: Albus Potter

15th July 2013:
Yeah, again, I loved the excerpt at the beginning of the chapter. It's nice to get the backstory bit by bit like this - as I said last review, it's a great way to give the reader (or at least, this reader) relevant information that doesn't readily fit into the narrative in a graceful way.

I really enjoyed the interaction between Rose and Albus this chapter. (Well, I'd better have, since it was most of the chapter!) I felt like I got to see more of Rose's personality than I had when she was at work dealing with her boss's rantings and ravings, and again, you worked some interesting information about her life in quite nicely. Maybe Albus is right that she's no fun anymore or maybe he's not, but the perception does say something about her character, and this chapter really started making me wonder along with Krum who had gone over the edge in this affair.

(Maybe both? That's usually the right answer.)

HOUSE CUP 2013 - RAVENCLAW

Author's Response: Isn't writing backstory the worst?! It's so true about having to try and insert it in graceful way!

I'm glad you enjoyed the Rose/Albus bits. Al turned out to be a more important character than I anticipated. He doesn't really influence the plot, but he has a way of holding a mirror up to Rose and making her take a look at herself and her life.

And I think both is the right answer! At least that's what I hope readers walk away with by the end.


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Review #14, by Beeezie Chapter Two: Joseph Heart

15th July 2013:
I loved the excerpt from her book that you had at the beginning, for two reasons. First, it gives us some important backstory on what happened to Krum after DH in an elegant, natural way. Now I feel like I understand the bitterness last chapter better than I did - or at least, now I'm attributing it to something different. Second, the implication of that excerpt being from chapter one seems to me to be that the book is largely about Krum as an adult, not Krum's entire life, which is really, really interesting.

I also loved the first glimpse we got of Rose and her boss. He was so fast-paced and difficult, and it's interesting to see her handle him. It makes me wonder whether she'll be able to handle Krum in the same way...

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked the book excerpt. I really toyed with how I wanted to unroll his backstory, and this felt like a good compromise: small snippets that give the reader just enough details to fill in the blanks themselves. I hadn't really thought about the fact that I skip over so much of his younger years, but looking back, I always wanted this story to be Rose's journey, so I guess I subconsciously chose to have him near the end of his "growing pains."

I'm glad you liked Rose's boss too! He's a fun character to write in that he's so outwardly abrasive but actually good-intentioned at heart.


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Review #15, by Beeezie Chapter One: Prologue: The Man In The Suit

15th July 2013:
I really love what you've done here. We know so very little about Krum, other than that he was a relatively decent sort of guy who liked Hermione and got a lot of glory when he was still very, very young.

But that's enough, I think, to make this work and to make it plausible. It's not shocking that someone exposed to so much fame so soon would end up getting swallowed by it. The bitterness and distress I can see in him fits so well with that backstory, and I'm really intrigued to read on.

HOUSE CUP 2013 - RAVENCLAW

Author's Response: Thank you, Beeezie! The fact that we know enough about Krum to give him an interesting backstory but not enough to have to obsessively worry about keeping him in-character all the time is one of my favorite parts about writing him.

I'm glad the set-up feels believable. A lot of people can handle fame well, but I think being exposed to it so relatively young increased the risk of sending him down a bad path.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #16, by WeasleyTwins Chapter Three: Albus Potter

14th July 2013:
Hello Becky! I'm back again.

I read your response to that last review - I pretty much love that you're one of those authors who wants to be "readable." It's refreshing. Being an English major was so difficult in college because all we ever read was Literature-with-a-capital-L. Enjoyable sometimes, but an easy read? Almost never. But anyway, I like that you don't strive to try and meld "Literature" and fanfiction. You just give us a good story. A really awesome story, actually.

Anyway, the story! I love Albus and Rose here. So realistic, so not your typical, I'm-Harry-Potter's-son-and-therefore-I'm-the-best-in-every-aspect. It's refreshing to see these characters with some personality and some reality about them.

I do have one little nitpick - you're fabulous at dialogue (I ENVY you, really, I do), but this one sentence at the beginning was a bit off for me: "Whatís the matter?" - I don't know, it just seemed a bit stilted. The rest of the dialogue is so off-hand, very natural, but for me that sentence is stiff. "What's wrong" or something like that seems more appropriate. But, I'm nitpicking, ignore me.

You always tell me that you enjoy a good ending to a chapter. Well, Becky, you sure know how to write one (What am I talking about? You write /everything/ with brilliance). You're tying in the first chapter now, but we don't know until the next one, and even then, maybe not! It's great suspense without being facetious.

It's all impeccable and I feel bad for even nitpicking at one line. I enjoy every chapter more and more. I fear I'm going to run out of things to say very quickly, and I'll surely run out of adjectives with which to praise you!

Shelby ♥

Author's Response: Hi, Shelby. And thank you! I don't have an English or literature background, so all my college reading and writing was always, "just the facts, ma'am." I think a part of me still crafts stories like they're essays!

I'm so glad you Al and Rose in this chapter. Giving characters personalities is one of my favorite parts of writing, and the farther from perfect they are, the more fun it is.

Thanks for pointing out that line. I don't mind nitpicking or CC of any kind. I'll definitely give it a second look. Dialog is always so tricky, especially when you're trying to hear it as it's spoken in a country you've never been to!

I'm so glad you liked the ending! This is the only story I've ever written start to finish, and it was a learning process, especially with pacing. But I do try to write with the philosophy that every chapter should end with some sense of where we are headed next -- to keep that forward momentum -- even if we don't know how it will play out.

Thank you for this lovely review. You're going to give me a big head if you keep saying such nice things!!


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Review #17, by academica Chapter Three: Albus Potter

6th July 2013:
Hey, here for this month's review battle :)

I like how you made Rose and Albus pretty close because it indicates that the friendship suggested for them in the canon epilogue actually happened and ended up continuing into their adult lives. There's something comforting about that continuity to me, and I think it helps to ground this story despite the introduction of unfamiliar territory (next-gen adults, a depressing Krum, et cetera). Don't get me wrong, I like the edgy tone of this story, but even this tumultuous moment just made me feel more at ease with the story and I appreciated it especially since I haven't been by in a while.

I like your Albus a lot, too. I don't read a ton of next-gen but it seems like often Albus carries some childish qualities into his adulthood, especially if people like James are there to overshadow him. But your Albus seemed like a regular guy, and it was sort of nice in a weird way to see him struggling with independence just like Rose. He's been dating the same girl for years but is having trouble forming an adult relationship out of that, and Rose is having to face financial independence and avoiding having to move back in with her parents (if that's even an actual option for her).

Overall, the characterization is just very nice here, and it'll be neat to see what happens next with the book. I also liked Rose's very rude neighbor--she was sort of amusing in a Dursleyish way, but mostly she just made me feel really bad for Rose, who faces the additional obstacle of concealing her true self from her bewildered Muggle neighbors.

Nice work!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi, Amanda! Thanks so much for tagging me for the review battle.

I'm so glad you liked the introduction of Albus and Rose's friendship here. He isn't a main character in the story, but he does pop up every now and then, usually to point Rose in the right direction, even if he doesn't know he's doing it. I see them as having an almost brother/sister dynamic, both far from perfect but a good balance for each other.

I'm glad you liked Al as a character too. He really is meant to be an "everyman," just trying to figure life out, making that transition into full adulthood. They are both in that phase of life where they have left the nest but haven't really created nests of their own yet.

To me, Mrs. Larson is part Dursley, part Mrs. Figg... and not in a good way :P

Thank you so much for the review! I really appreciate the comments!!


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Review #18, by WeasleyTwins Chapter Two: Joseph Heart

22nd June 2013:
Hello AW! I'm back for another chapter!

You know, I'm going to be blatantly honest when I say that many times in fanfiction, I have to force myself to read and respond to stories. A lot of times they lack readability/reader interest and it's simply becomes a chore. However, you really have that readability factor. You remind me of Mitch Albom. Granted, he's not really your literary, Literature-with-a-capital-L kind of writer, but there's something about his style that makes you want to keep reading. You've definitely got that. All I want right now is to read all of the chapters and leave you a massive, detailed review at the end. That wouldn't be fair, so I'll contain my anxiousness to know what happens!

I enjoyed the bit of Rose we see in this chapter. We see internal monologue, how very observant she is, and that little tidbit about her dreams of becoming a writer. It's a wonderful without being facetious. I think a problem, at least for myself and other writers I know, is that you want your readers to know everything, all at once, about the characterizations. You just want to give every flaw, quirk, and admirable quality they possess; you want to write a three hundred page dissertation. But again, you're such a fantastic writer with so much ability that it's all very intentional and perfect.

And I have to say, the language - I think it's brilliant. There are plenty of people like that. It's one of those little details that are done so well! Oh, also, your use of the word "flumuxed" - I believe it's spelled "flummoxed." But anyway, I love that word! I like to think that some words are simply more awesome than others and that makes my list!

A nonsensical ramble and not a bit of CC (no need for it!), but I hope you know how much I enjoyed this chapter! Excellent!

Shelby

Author's Response: Hi, Shelby! I was so excited when I saw you posted another review!

I like honesty in reviews, and being honest back, I'll take readability over Literature-with-a-capital-L any day. I know I'll never write "Literature." It's just within the scope of my ability. I appreciate it, but I can't create it. I'm happy to strive for easy and entertaining. My favorite books are the ones where you don't notice the language, so "readable" is about the best compliment I can ask for!

I'm so glad you liked the way this chapter did and didn't introduce Rose. I've been struggling with backstory on my current story, what to reveal and when, so it gives me a great boost of confidence to know I made some okay choices with this story. It's so true about finding that balance! You want the readers to connect with your characters right away, but you also know the true tension comes from the unknown.

Gah! My not so dirty little secret... I am a terrible speller! Thanks for pointing that out. No worse way to ruin a great word than by spelling it wrong.

Thanks for the lovely review. I really appreciate it!!


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Review #19, by WeasleyTwins Chapter One: Prologue: The Man In The Suit

7th June 2013:
Hello AW! You've been so lovely to review "The Seams" that I wanted to return the favor and review something of yours!

I must admit that I was a bit wary at first. I mean, Rose and Krum? It's definitely not your normal fanfiction story, but then, those are often the best, aren't they? Anyway, I figured, why not give it a shot and see what you've got up for sleeve. I'm honestly so glad I decided to just go for it. I'm already so intrigued and I've got a thousand thoughts and ideas running through my head about this story and it's only the first chapter.

There's nothing better than a good first chapter. You've definitely delivered that here. I enjoyed your stylistic choice to reveal their surroundings, still mysterious, a couple of paragraphs further into the piece. You didn't heap on loads and loads of descriptions before you began, but started almost immediately. It was like a slow transition into the scene - it reminded me of one of those opening to a movie that starts with a partial view of the scenic visage and then the characters appear - I thought it was a perfect way to begin the story.

The moment I became hooked was when the man in the suit said, "What will people say? Especially when they hear you screwed the mother too." It brings up so many questions! Why would Rose become romantically involved with a man who was also involved in such a manner with her own manner? Would that not repulse her or does that, in some way, fascinate her? Of course, how does Ron take the relationships, both past and present? So many questions - at once it is slightly disturbing and fascinating. I like that you're exploring a topic that is so different for the fanfictionr realm. Relationships with such a large age difference (thirty years!) are rarely written with justice in fanfiction, unfortunately. For some reason, I have this feeling that yours is going to be so tasteful. A large age gap is a bit of a taboo where I'm from and so the idea is super interesting for me!

The dialogue and descriptions were beyond reproach, even the glimpse of characterization we see was impeccable. I did see something that caught my eye. Not to nitpick, but the wording of this particular sentence threw me off a bit from the natural flow of your prose (which is fabulous, by the way!). The sentence: "The little of his body that was visible was dressed in a dark green uniform." - It's the first part of the sentence that is a bit stiff. I don't mean to nitpick and that's just my opinion, mind you :)

Overall, I enjoyed this so much. I like originality, and I like that you're taking a risk (at least it's risky to me! :P). I cannot wait to see what's in store!

Wonderful!

Shelby

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Shelby! And I apologize for taking so long to respond to this lovely review. I know the pairing definitely isn't for everyone, but I appreciate you giving the story a look even if it wouldn't be your first pick. I've had so much fun writing the characters, it makes me so happy that anyone is willing to at least give it try :)

I'm so glad you liked the way this opened. I think most of us who write see their scenes unfold like a movie in our heads, but I do also like to draw a bit from the way movies are structured -- the way a really well-edited film is sort of tightly woven together. I don't always achieve it, but it's at least something I aim for.

I'll admit, I put that line in there to raise an eyebrow, but I definitely tried to steer clear of tawdry-ville as much as possible throughout the story. I love playing with relationships, and when I started writing this, I was really drawn to all the combinations of odd interactions that could pop up as the pairing played out. I think I was just as excited about exploring Rose and Krum's relationship as her subsequent relationship with her parents once word got out. Hopefully as the story progresses, the characters grow enough to be bigger than the odd situation they find themselves in.

It's not nitpicking at all! I cringe a bit when I reread some of these earlier chapters, so I appreciate you pointing that out. It is a little clunky. I think it might be that double "was."

Thank you again for such a nice review. I really, really appreciate it!


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Review #20, by Haronione Chapter One: Prologue: The Man In The Suit

7th June 2013:
Ok, if I'm honest Krum is not a character I have ever really thought much about or been too interested in reading fanfic about.

However, this was a really intriguing prologue. It has definitely left me wanting to read on to see what events have led to Krum's predicament here - and where exactly he is. I really liked your character interactions and how you've written Krum. I am interested to find out who the man in the suit is and why Krum got so angry when he mentioned Miss Weasley.

Sorry, I have no CC for you!

I love your writing style and the novelty of this. I am glad I stepped out of my reading comfort zone and clicked on this story :)

Author's Response: Thanks, Haronione!

I was never all that interested in Krum before I starting writing this story either, but thank you for taking a look, even if the characters aren't really your usual taste. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter anyway, and I'm VERY glad you decided to set out of your comfort zone too. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!


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Review #21, by lia_2390 Chapter Ten: The Voice in Her Head

21st April 2013:
"Then I guess we better make this good."

Oh my! Best last line ever.

I apologise up front for the squeeing that will ensue in this review.

Can I just say how much I love your characterisation of Viktor Krum? Or that somehow, his relationship with Rose reminds me of Edward Rochester's relationship with Jane Eyre? He's so infuriating sometimes and yet he is the biggest tease. I loved the build up to this moment - I like the fact that you included certain things, whether they were gestures or words to make this entire moment believable. The only thing that will make this awkward is when Rose finds out that her new boyfriend was her mother's first kiss. I say 'when' because you mentioned it a couple times already, so I figure that she will find out.

It's a bit eerie how he knows exactly what she's thinking. The line you used to tell us that gave me pause. He has certainly seen a lot in his fifty plus years. While Rose does have the ability to be
sensible, there is something about him that strips all those layers away leaving her very vulnerable. That's why I used my earlier Jane Eyre comparison.

I really, really enjoyed this chapter, and I hope this review makes some sense to you :)


Lia

Author's Response: Hooray! I'm so glad you liked the last line. I always try really hard to leave chapters on a strong note. And please, never apologize for squeeing. I'm squeeing over this review right now!!

*falls over* Jane Eyre is one of my absolute favorite novels and I'm beyond thrilled that you see a bit of Rochester in Krum!! I know my characters will never compare, but Krum is my feeble attempt at a modern Byronic hero -- one of my favorite literary archetypes. And yes, Rose will find out -- to some degree -- about Krum and Hermione. Not everything, but enough...

In a lot of ways, the relationship is very unbalanced and Rose is vulnerable with him. She doesn't yet understand him the same way he understands her. Hopefully part of her journey by the end of the story will show her gaining some of that power and finding her footing.

Thank you so, so much for this wonderful review!!


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Review #22, by patronus_charm Chapter 21, Epilogue: Rose Weasley

19th April 2013:
I loved the Krum and Hermione scene Ė it was perfect! I think it was right to leave it to the last chapter, as it was as if everythingís coming to an end, and this is the end of them. Sneaky Helmsey appearing there, I just want to yell at Krum that heís part of this evil conspiracy. Did Albus just go and obliviate him, as it seemed like he did. Then those things Krum knows about Amelia, I knew there was something up with her. Thank Merlin thereís a sequel to this so hopefully my questions will be answered then.

Yay for Rose being alive. And sort of yay that Regina is dead, though I do feel a little mean being happy about that. Krum took the rap for the crime then, I see what he meant about that passionate love he felt for Rose. I do feel bad that he is doing this for her, but I guess love does make you do strange things.

I can see why Regina hated Krum so much now. Though he didnít kill the baby, hating it, and not wanting it to exist was probably more than enough, and probably contributed to the miscarriage. I wonder whether we will ever get to the bottom of his hated of children, and Iím guess it relates to why heís so quiet about his childhood.

That was such a brilliant end to the story with Krum plotting to run away, I wonder where heíll end up. Iím guessing some unknown Pacific island like Kiribati!

This was such an excellent story, and the twist at the end was brilliant and despite the hinting I never assumed it would be so dramatic and shocking as that. I canít wait to get started on the sequel, and Iím so glad that I read this :D

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: I'm embarrassed how long it's taken me to finish replying to your lovely reviews. I hope you can forgive me!! I really feel awful about it.

It seemed only fitting to have one of the last moments of the story be between Krum and Hermione. It was a last-minute add on my part, but I'm so glad it felt right. Albus was actually just undoing the spells that were keeping Krum bound in the chair... though now that you mention it, I imagine he must have had to do some other inventive spellwork to sneak the pair of them out of Azkaban without being noticed :P And both Al and Amelia will definitely be back for the sequel.

lol, I think "I guess love does make you do strange things" could be the thesis statement of this story! All the characters seems to have done a lot of odd things in the name of love.

I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to explain fully Krum's dislike for children, but it will definitely be a topic that appears again in the sequel. I think in the end, he's just afraid of having children because he thinks he'd be a bad father.

I'm starting to think you are psychic!! The exact location I use for them in Undertow is actually fictional, but I based it largely off of Mo'orea, another tiny island in the South Pacific!

I really can't say how pleased I am you enjoyed the story. Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing, and I really do apologize for taking so long to reply to this review.


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Review #23, by patronus_charm Chapter 20: Regina McFey, Part II

19th April 2013:
Regina! I knew she was more than a 12+ rated word. Iím sort of glad that restriction is in place as I donít think I could contain myself otherwise. And the tangle of confusion is unfolding! My prediction was correct :D I was wrong about everyone admiring her before, I donít admire her now! In fact, if I met her I would probably run away screaming. I think it was the line about mummy and daddy, as it reminded me of Bellatrix so much!

And Krum being drugged! I was right! I think I have found more job as seer! Well, this is probably the one time my story predictions are correct so I should contain myself. She is so manipulative itís verging on scary. The way sheís seeking revenge on Krum is so brutal, I wonder what he must have done to make her so angry and full of hate.

So the man in the suit is Hemsley! I really love this chapter as everything is unfolding and I get all of my questions answered! Iím not sure whether to feel sorry over Tommyís death, angry that he didnít protect Krum, angry at Krum for possibly killing him, or perhaps sympathetic as he did ruin his career. I think Iíll just go with confusion, as Iím pretty Rose is feeling the same as me right now!

I am currently trying to decided who is more psychotic, Bellatrix or Regina. I think itís the fact that she says she likes Rose, but sheís like Ďhey Iím going to kill you anyway, as I donít the meaning of letting things goí. I donít how Rose could stay so cool though, I would definitely be in tears now, but sheís a Weasley and they seem to be built of strong stuff.

Insert another word rated higher than 12+. Rose killed her! And with a knife! All that drama, and I never assumed it would escalate so far! I was just sitting there in shock! I think Regina was feeling the same as I am, I never assumed she was capable of murder. Yet now I think about it, I can see why she would end up doing something like that.

Oh god they do need to get rude of this 12+ rule! Regina threw the knife at Rose, what! I canít deal with all of this, especially after that light hearted chapter. It just didnít click in my head that the knife was gone, therefore, Regina must be aiming it at Rose.

Ah I have to read on, and check if Rose is alright!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: lol, keeping it 12+ in reviews can be so hard sometimes. But considering who we are talking about, I'll definitely take that as a compliment! And you're right about that line. I hadn't thought about it before, but it does sound like something Bellatrix might say.

You totally called it! I think you're the only one so far...

I'm so glad you liked the way everything sort of came full circle in this chapter. I worried a bit it was too much of an information dump right at the end. And I think confusion is a perfectly acceptable response :P When it comes to what happened to between Krum and Tommy and Hemsley, I don't think there is one real, clear-cut villain.

The Weasleys are tough, aren't they? Maybe that's why I enjoyed writing Rose so much. She handles Regina's crazy a lot better than I would. I'd have been in tears by this point too.

In my head, I don't think Rose ever thought it would go this far either. I'm really glad if it all unfolded in a way you weren't expecting. Even with the hints in the prologue, a last minute surprise ending was definitely what I was going for!

Thank you so much for the review!!


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Review #24, by patronus_charm Chapter 19: The Intruder

19th April 2013:
Who is this man in the suit? Iím currently worried I havenít been enough attention when reading and that heís appeared beforehand, Iím hoping that Iím proved to be wrong. He does seem to be very mysterious, and all of this mystery seems to be building up and up. I have feeling itís all going to collide and a web of mystery will be unfolded revealing everything!

Krum actually got off? I almost didnít think he would, as it just seemed inevitable that he wouldnít. I suppose it may not go to plan if the aforementioned web of mystery is unfolded. Then again, I may be reading too much into this, and thereís no mystery to deal with anyway.

I love Rose! I loved that bit when she was listing all the reasons why she shouldnít be dating Krum, and I was just sitting there laughing, as despite her knowing this, she still dated him. Then Krum was just cool and asked whether that was everything, and then she brings up weddings of all things after that. I wonder whether the big reveal scene of Hermione and Krum sort of dating will happen then.

I liked learning more about the family history, with the wedding usually happening at the Burrow, and Arthur being dead meaning that Molly spilt her time between the rest of family, as it was nice to catch up with the Weasleys. I liked having the cameos with the various family members, and it made sense that Viktor would actually be able to talk to Harry. He seemed to respect him throughout the Triwizard tournament, so this is the respect being carried through.

It may just be me but I think this needs a room on the end of bath ĎThe bath is on the third floor.Ēí

I really liked the dancing scene, even though it was quite serious with them talking about whether they wanted children or not, it was still light-hearted and really sweet moment at the same time. It was nice just to sit there and enjoy it. Though I was a little surprised Rose didnít question her mum finding her bringing Viktor as odd a little further, though I guess weíll find out later.

It was nice to see that they had managed to recover from the slight difference of the previous night. I agree with Rose, Viktor did seem to buy a lot of food, but again that was a nice light hearted moment. It is funny to see how quickly media can lose interest in certain people, and they were only briefly mentioned compared to the front pages they had just a little while ago.

ďOver the edge of what?Ē Ah I spotted the title! That makes me oddly happy for some reason. Itís probably appeared before, but this is the first time Iíd seen it, so I had to point it out! And itís the book title, itís all clicking together now :D

The tangle of mystery is all coming together now with the intruder! I see what you did, making it a nice sweet chapter, so we wouldnít realise what would happen next. Well, you fooled me!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: The man in the suit is actually the man from the prologue who interrogates Krum, but don't worry about it. I know there are a lot of OCs in this story. Hopefully the mystery did all manage to come together by the end and I didn't leave too many questions unanswered. And you definitely weren't reading too much into it!

Oh, yea! I'm so glad you liked that moment with Rose. There are so many reasons these two make for a bad couple. It seemed only right that she acknowledge them all at some point. Maybe saying them out loud made them somewhat less terrible :P

Writing the Weasley wedding was a lot of fun. I always enjoy reading how other people picture all the characters in the next-gen era, so I thought this might be a nice way to catch up with everyone. And I thought it anyone would take Krum being there in stride, it would be Harry.

I'm really happy you liked the scene with them dancing. It was one of my favorite to write. There is just something inherently romantic about dancing, and weddings do tend to make people start thinking about their future. I thought it might be a good way to make an otherwise serious discussion a little more lighthearted.

I agree!! That was waaay too much food, but he meant well. And it's so true. One minute you're a major headline, the next, nobody cares anymore.

Hooray! I couldn't resist slipping in the title. Other than in the opening chapter, this was the only other time it's mentioned, so you didn't miss anything!

Thank you for another great review! I'm sorry it's been taking me so long to reply, but I really have appreciated them all very, very much :)


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Review #25, by patronus_charm Chapter Sixteen: Viktor and Rose

19th April 2013:
Regina represents the person we fear yet admire at the same time. I could see what Rose meant about her commanding tone with the way she stood there, and immediately sussed everything out. Even though I donít particularly like Regina, she did bring up an important point that Rose doesnít really know all that much about Krum, then again, he is secretive so it isnít really her fault.

They found Krum then! Iím guessing heís hiding out in his house in Bulgaria, but I suppose Iíll find out soonish considering Rose is on a plane somewhere! This line seemed a little odd to me, I think itís either missing a word or the structureís a little off ĖĎIt was the first time Rose ever had occasion to ride in an airplane.í It may just be me, but I thought it was best to point it out :)

Iím glad that Rose had the courage to challenge Krum over why she was drawn to him and the whole mess was created. As Regina kindly pointed out to her, she seemed a bit more lenient towards men then Regina was, so I was proud of her that she was standing up for herself, and that Krum really wasnít that Ďirresistibleí.

Youíre right about it being onward and upward, while I do enjoy a good bit of angst it was nice to see a happier and calmer Rose and Krum. Iím starting to get worried now, and that happier scene was just a bluff. First there was no sign of Heart, then her parents and then Krum not answering. What on earth could have happened? Ah Krumís unconscious! Iím guessing itís drug or alcohol related, and I do agree it is sweet that he wanted to protect Rose, or heís just being a stubborn man and refusing to see a doctor.

I think I was as blinded as Rose about how bad Krum really was, I didnít expect him to begin convulsing and doing that to himself. I suppose with people like him you never really know what theyíre going to do, and itís just good that she went and found him as I dread to think what it may have been like otherwise. It was so sweet when he came around though, and Rose was trying to care for him, and Krum was just like Iím fine trust me!

I spotted this here Ė ĎYou saved me, remember? Everythingís going to be okay.Ēí The remember went down to the next line, when it looked as if it could have been on the same one as Ďyou saved meí. I just thought I should point it out :)

The mystery thickens with Krum being unable to remember what happened when he collapsed. I didnít want him to be in that state due to him falling into his old ways, but other than just randomly fainting the only thing I could think of is him being attacked. But who would really want to attack Krum, the only really vindictive person is Regina, but she didnít seem to hold that much hate towards him.

The hearing does sound a little optimistic with what Peter said about Krum keeping his nose out of trouble, as he has done that for the past two weeks. I hope he does get off, as he does seem to be more troubled than a real criminal. Another excellent chapter!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Regina is definitely one of those people who can make you doubt yourself. What she says is true, but somehow distorted, until she sort of backs you into a corner you can't argue your way out of.

I'm really glad you liked the way Rose stood up to Krum. Rose does let him get away with a lot, and he is sort of constantly seeing how far he can push things, but she'll only take so much before pushing back.

lol, I try never to let the characters get too comfortable. Just when they seem to be settling in... I wanted his overdose to be a surprise but still believable. Like you said, when it comes to people with his past problems, you have be prepared for this sort of thing.

haha! Well, I guess you know the ending now, of course. I think you might be the first person to suspect Regina at this point in the story.

Troubled is probably the perfect description for Krum. He isn't really a bad guy; he just makes a lot of bad decisions.

Thanks for pointing out those two errors. I'll make sure to go back and take a second look at them. And thanks for another lovely review!


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