Reading Reviews for The legend of the Mutts
  
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Review #1, by Live Life Large Emmalia And Nicholas

15th June 2012:
To me, it seems like you have a really good idea, but you're having a bit of trouble laying it out.

Like I said at the beginning, you're base idea seems pretty good. I'm drawn in by the idea of these "mutts", and want to know more about them. If you revise this chapter, I'd add a bit more detail about their powers in.

Really, the only other thing that you might want to change is stretching this chapter out a bit more. I'm not sure, but it seemed like you covered at least 9 months in this one chapter, so you might want to add a bit more detail.

Also, the paragraph that begins, "And soon he got her creating the birth of Emmalia and Nicholas, but only knowing of Emmalia," should probably be made longer. If you suddenly jump further on into the story, which it seemed like you did, I'd use this handy little tool.
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The double hyphen. Generally what I use to split my chapters up, and it helps make things clearer for readers.

Now, this is not meant to be an offensive review in any way. I'm just trying to offer up some constructive criticism, because I'd hate to see a good idea not get the attention it deserves(: If you need any help, feel free to shoot me a question on the forums! I'm LiveLarge over there.

Hope I helped.
Live Life Large(:

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