Reading Reviews for Obsessed
  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Neha Reputations

28th October 2013:
plz i want more!!update plz

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Review #2, by TimeSeer Reputations

10th November 2012:
I really like this story and concept! It is so original and hilarious at moments. Especially with the sorting hat being quiet and not saying anything until the end, which Amy did not tell anyone... Yet? And her boyfriend... What is that about? How is she okay with that? Anyway please update soon, I am very much enjoying this story and hope to see more of it soon!

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Review #3, by hedwigs_theme Reputations

25th July 2012:
Yay Amy got sorted into Gryffindor :)

Hello again, me from the review thread!

This chapter was just as good as the last one, packed full of humor, fantastic description (again!) and much more :) You wrote it incredibly well so good job.


I love how you included that first bit at the start where Andy becomes a death eater, a great addition. It left me feeling very sad that Amy had been put in such a horrible position. Poor thing :(

Once again, your description of everything, from the looks of Lily and Steph, to the sight of the Great Hall was amazing ( I wish I could describe as well as you)!

I think I noticed a few grammatical errors and also noticed that you called Fawkes an it, when personally I would call Fawkes a him.

Your characterisation of Lily was perfect. I loved the arguements that 'Red' and 'Black' (I love those nicknames) had. I also really liked reading the bandage scene, it was very humorous and overall a sweet scene to read.

Congrats on another great chapter!


Keep updating this, your doing great!

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Review #4, by hedwigs_theme Boys

25th July 2012:
Hey!

I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to complete this review, I've just been so busy and distracted now that school has gone back.

Anyways, I'm finally here now here it is:

I really like this so far, the description is fantastic and the plot, intriguing. Your characterisation of the marauders is perfect. You really captured James and Sirius' funny side along with James' longing for Lily and was that a hit of a crush forming that I saw/read (whatever) from Sirius! I love how you call Peter Mouse-Boy and Remus' characterisation is also really well done.

You should also be commended on your first and last sentences. First sentences should be interesting adn enough to suck the reader in, whilst last sentence should be suspenseful, making the reader want to read the next chapter. You two sentences certainly fit both of these catagories! :D

As I stated above, your description was really fantastic, truly I can't really comment on anything there.

Honestly, you did such a good job, and did you really make that CI and banner???
10/10 and off to the next chapter, soon!

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Review #5, by Shlesha Boys

13th July 2012:
It's a good story! It had good grammar (despite a few technical errors here and there), good flow, good pacing. The characterization was really well done too, so hats off to you! When I started reading the story, I was immediately drawn in to it. Keep up the great work! I'm sorry for the extremely short review, but you didn't specify what you wanted me to comment on. Overall, great read! :)

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Review #6, by StormThief17 Reputations

8th July 2012:
Hi, StormThief again!

Characters: Amy is consistent, which is good. I think her sorting was interesting, and I'm glad to see her in Gryffindor! I think you can do a lot with how Gryffindor is goint to "change" her. I also REALLY want to see more of Andy! It looks like he is going to be a very complex character--joining the death eaters to protect her? That is a very interesting thread you could follow. The Marauders are still in character so nice job on that. Lily as well.

Plot: Like I said, I think the idea of Andy joing the death eaters for her and how being in Gryffindor will change her seem like very interesting places to go. I also am interested to see how Sirius plays into the story.

Again, flow and grammar were both fine! One thing I wasn't sure about: "the first years resembling my face a lot". Its a bit confusing. Maybe something like the first years' expressions resembling my own? Just thought I'd point that out :)

Nice job!

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Review #7, by StormThief17 Boys

8th July 2012:
Hi, StormThief here with your review :)

Characters: I like Amy a lot! I think her way of analyzing people is fairly unique. Also the fact that she was homeschooled makes her pretty cool--I was homeschooled myself for grade school! The marauders all seem spot on as well, and I can't wait to meet Lily! I guess all I have to say is keep developing Amy and keep her your own and avoid mary-sue.

Plot: well that little bit at the end about her boyfriend being a death eater certainly pulled me in! I'm very interested to see where this is headed and how her boyfriend plays into all of this. I think you have a lot of potential here!

Flow and grammar: I didn't pick up in any grammar mistakes and the flow is very nice. No weird jumps or POV switchs.

I can't wait to take a look at your next chapter!

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Review #8, by angel_speaks Reputations

7th July 2012:
Hiya!
Emesias here with your requested review!

Grammar/ spelling: There were only a few grammatical errors on this chapter. Good job!

Characterization: I think you did a pretty good job on this bit. The Marauders portrayed here are quite similar to the canon. I'm liking Amy Jones! I can't wait to see how she develops throughout the story and how her relationship with Andy turns out.

Plot/flow: It's interesting so far! It definitely has caught my attention and I can't wait to see how it develops. So far I have yet to spot any major loop holes to the story. However, that one part where Amy used magic on Sirius while they were on the carriage made me fell a little iffy when it comes to plot holes, as students are not allowed to use magic off- campus. It also wasn't acknowledged during her sorting or even after. I don't think that bit was anything major; the thought just came to me. Overall, I love how there was an equal amount of dialogue and description within both chapters. Awesome, AWESOME job! These two elements definitely are positively influencing the flow and consistency of your story.

Ah! I hope this wasn't to long ^_^' I hoped this helps and I apologize if I sound mean. I love your story! Please feel free to drop in another request at Emesias's Review Thread.

Happy Writing! 9/10

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Review #9, by loony_lovegood101 Reputations

28th June 2012:
i think this story is going in a good direction, and i really like Amy's charecter, its cute!!!

till next time
lOony

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm happy you like it!

xx


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Review #10, by Emma Boys

24th June 2012:
Great ending really unexpected, I liked her thought's on all the characters. Keep on writing, I can't wait to see what happens.

Author's Response: thank you! i'm happy you liked it!

xx


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Review #11, by Shortie Reputations

23rd June 2012:
The same as I said earlier. You've created her character perfectly. No flaws. I can't wait to see the Andy-Sirius war take route. If there's any, which I'm guessing is. I love it. It's nice to see the Marauders and Lily from another person's perspective.

Please notify me when the rest is out :) You're great. Keep writing.

Author's Response: Thank you! chapter 3 up shortly!

xx


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Review #12, by Shortie Boys

23rd June 2012:
I love the beginning and love the ending more :D And I love her character. She's neither perfect nor imperfect but just this sort of person. I know the observant type and I'll tell you this, you got it right. Her character is perfect-o ;) There's nothing wrong.

I love it. On my way to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you!

xx


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Review #13, by angel_speaks Reputations

19th June 2012:
Another excellent piece!!! Grammar and punctuation wise, i think you are doing pretty well on that area. The plot is developing well and is flowing very smoothly. Again, the characters are being lived up to their original profiles :) And i'm loving that idea that Andy has a dark side to him; that adds to the spice of the story line.

Can't wait to read more! Please let me know once the other chapters are up :D

Happy Writing! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks again! I'm glad there was no grammar mistakes I always obsesses over them xD I'm putting up another chapter today :D

xx


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Review #14, by angel_speaks Boys

19th June 2012:
You're off to a good start! There was only one or two grammatical errors. What stood out a lot was the consistency of the POV. I've noticed that some authors jump from one POV to another so i commend you for doing such an awesome job at that.

The characters are accurately represented here; very similar to how they are in the original series. Overall, excellent job! 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm happy you liked it :)
xx


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Review #15, by Florentinegem Reputations

18th June 2012:
After searching for a well-written and intriguing fanfiction, I think that I have found it! I don't know why this has not gotten more reviews because it is definitely worth reading.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm happy you like it!
xx


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Review #16, by SJC Boys

10th June 2012:
Holy sheet. How's that for a plot twist? I like the way you gave us Amy's honest and pure observations, they add a sincerity to the story. Update soon!

Author's Response: thank you! chapter 2 is on its way xx

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