25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Mrs malfoy Chapter 7

20th January 2014:
Please write more! I know u haven't updated for ages but still! I want draco to embarrass Hermione a bit more! I want some dramione action! Keep going babe x

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Review #2, by NeverForgetPG1 Chapter 5

2nd December 2013:
It's kind of out of character. The Hermione that I know and love from the originals would never be jealous of Ginny.I don't know how Draco started to like Hermione, or why, or anything else. It's kind of choppy too, switching perspectives. Maybe do a more even perspective length, or at least a steadier one.

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Review #3, by NeverForgetPG1 Chapter 2

2nd December 2013:
It's been an okay start. There are some errors. You wrote that they are in 6th year, but the Heads are in 7th. Also, I don't understand how Draco was so willing to be friendly with Hermione so quickly. I mean, they've been enemies for years. I think that you have really great bones for this story, but it needs more flesh. It needs more details, something to make it more intense and rich. I like it so far, though.

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Review #4, by Angela Chapter 7

12th August 2013:
Hello,
Are you ever going to finish this story? I think it's really great and was really looking forward to reading on. Please continue, it is wonderful! :)

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Review #5, by Whit Chapter 7

12th November 2012:
Hurry up and write the next stories!!

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Review #6, by nightskyes Chapter 7

4th November 2012:
I love this story so much! The writing, the spelling, the grammar, just- Everything! It's so well written, and I hope you update, soon!

Author's Response: Thanks! :D I'm so happy people are actually reading and enjoying it. I will wrote more soon. (:

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Review #7, by dracos lover Chapter 7

3rd November 2012:
Hummm... hermione blames the missing ring on draco, and i believe hes inoccent. For some weird reason i think ron took the ring, i dont know why but its a gut feeling. Anyway im loving the book please update soon.

Author's Response: We'll see. (; Thank you!

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Review #8, by Leticia Chapter 7

3rd November 2012:
Couldnt they just accioed the ring?i also wanted 2 suggest that 4 the ball maybe draco &hermione could dye their hair so they dont reconise each other.dont 4get to keep writing.

Author's Response: What fun would be accioing it? ;p After all, a lot of things could have been solved with a few accios in the series. hehe. Thank you for the idea, I will consider that. (:

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Review #9, by Rosie pie Chapter 3

28th September 2012:
Loved it very clear and true to the bit with Harrys part"Githead"

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Review #10, by Nimbus2015 Chapter 4

26th September 2012:
LOVE THAT LAST PART!

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Review #11, by Nimbus2015 Chapter 3

26th September 2012:
I love the story... Right now I don't know how many chapters there are but I know it's a work in progress and so I wanted to say that the story is great, the grammar and spelling and structure and everything about it is great, and PLEASE UPDATE AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! VOLDEMORT IS CHASING YOU ON A HIPPOGRIFF AND YOU CAN'T RUN UNTIL YOU FINISH THE STORY! :)

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Review #12, by Sleeping_Dragon Chapter 5

18th September 2012:
i like it. you should include viktor some more, i like him

Author's Response: Oh, I will. (: Thanks!

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Review #13, by tag Chapter 5

8th September 2012:
loved the song that went with it!! please update soon!!!

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Review #14, by HawthornChaser1981 Chapter 5

22nd August 2012:
This is the first time I've read a Dramione. I am surprised to find out that I actually like it. That probably has more to do with your awesome writing that the Draco-Hermione thing. Usually the only Non-cannon I like is Nuna. :D (Sorry, I'm awful at writing reviews.)

Author's Response: Thank you! Your review truly means a lot. (:
Imo, Nuna should have happened. It was like a beautiful disaster waiting to happen! Haha. xD
I'm glad you like the story, I really hope it's not rubbish. :s
♥Stella


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Review #15, by dramionerules Chapter 1

21st August 2012:
I just wanted to say that I do believe it's 7th year that students can be heads are not 6th.sorry, just wanted to point that out.

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Review #16, by Jinxy Chapter 4

17th August 2012:
First of all, I'd like to say that I am enjoying your story a lot so far. I like how everything flows, and I can sense something exciting happening soon!

But there are a few things I'd like to put to your attention. Jinxy's grammar obsession!

I'm just picking a few lines from different chapters. They're not very noticeable, but probably things you'd like to keep in mind for all types of writing.

1. "I see you two know each other, congratulations on the last name basis." (Chapter 2) ---after the comma, you should use a co-ordinating conjunction (connecting word-and/but/or/yet/for/etc.), or replace the comma with a semi-colon, or make "Congrataulations..." the start of another sentence. Also, it might flow better if you added a 'that' to make "I see that you two...", but since it is dialogue, it is fine as is.

2. "I, for one, don't wish to argue with you or fight with you. So let's stay out of each other's way and pretend the other isn't there. Sound good?" (Chapter 2) ---this is something minor and more of an opinion. When speaking this line, 'don't' seems a bit weak. If you do not use the contraction and use 'do not' instead, it gives the line an extra punch. "I, for one, do not..." might sound stronger.

3. "And what was worse? She had to share a dorm with him for the year!" (Chapter 3) ---again, an opinion. Sometimes, you can emphasize the situation. Since Hermione appears to dislike Draco so much, a year might be a really long time. You may choose to add words to emphasize the length in time, like 'the entire year!'.

4. "Once she could have sworn he had even looking at her when she looked at him." (Chapter 4) ---this is a comma rule. Following 'once', there should be a comma before the subject (she).


You can always use sites to help. I just found this one online (it's a Canadian school!), and it's quite helpful for all sorts of grammar rules:
uottawa.ca
/academic/arts/writcent/hypergrammar/partsp
.html

Hope this helps!
-Jinxy

Author's Response: Haha, thanks a ton, Jinx. (:

I've taken a lot of advanced English classes and as you know, I'm a hard-core Grammar Nazi, but no one can get English perfect. :p


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Review #17, by C'est moi Chapter 3

7th July 2012:
OH MY Goodness! hope that chapter 4 is coming very soon

Author's Response: Thank you! I will send it in today actually. It may need some editing though... I know I made a few grammar updates on my iPod, but I can't use that to update right now... so I might change it a bit after it's validated [grammar, not story]. I am so glad you like it though!

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Review #18, by LooneyLunaLongbotton Chapter 3

25th June 2012:
I really like the story line and loved the detail!

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Review #19, by LooneyLunaLongbottom Chapter 3

25th June 2012:
I really liked it! Loved the detail!

Author's Response: Thank you!!

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Review #20, by Simply Celestial Chapter 3

24th June 2012:
I honestly can't wait for the next chapter. Brilliant writing! They are definitely not OOC, like most dramiones. But I was really was serious before, so POST A NEW CHAPTER NOW!!! Er, I mean, post soon please. :)

Author's Response: Thank you!! That really means a lot, I am so glad people like my story! Chapter 4 will be up soon, promise. (':

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Review #21, by ~Mia Chapter 3

24th June 2012:
Great. I love the idea of Dramione. It just is such a spin off of how you typically think about the two characters. I love how you added that Hermione and Ron are dating but he is being a bit of a jerk in the beginning. Can't wait to reead the rest!

Author's Response: Thank you! I know, Dramione is one of my favourite ships. It's so cute yet wrong. ^-^ Chapter 4 will be up soon.

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Review #22, by Ginny!! Chapter 3

24th June 2012:
Write more, like now. Seriously. And email me too. Ginnymacpherson @ live.ca

Author's Response: Thank you! I will put chapter 4 up soon.

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Review #23, by Sev's Girl Chapter 3

24th June 2012:
Really good so far! Looking forward to reading the nest installment! keep it up! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! (:

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Review #24, by SlytheirnXPrincess9 Chapter 2

15th June 2012:
Just noticed your story and can I say that it is actually really good although I do have one thing to suggest. I had the same sort of problem you do by using too much speech. I always used to think lots of speech was key in a story but you also need a suitable amount of descritption to balance it out.

One of my writing friends helped see me through this problem. All I suggest when writing chapters for the story is to use a suitable amount of description to help the reader understand what is going on.

For example (made up on the spot):
"Hermione, you do realise that we are going to have to work together to get the job done," Draco said.
"Yes, I do Malfoy," Hermione said through gritted teeth.
- to me this seems too simple and doesn't give the reader any idea of what is going on like the facial expression of the characters.

Now see the difference when you add a bit of description:
"Hermione, you do realise that we are going to have to work together to get the job done," Draco said.
Hermione stood there staring straight at Malfoy. To her he seemed to think that they could get along but she certainly thought otherwise. This was the boy who had always called her a mudblood or any other name under the sun and he was now trying to make up for it but she wasn't going to let it happen that easily.
"Yes, I do Malfoy," Hermione said through gritted teeth.

I hope that you don't think this comment was too harsh or anything. Believe me when I say description really helps and will soon be your new best friend. Maybe read other Dramione stories and see how the writers write their stories. This way you should be able to pick a few pointers from them and you will be able to see the balance of speech and description :D xx

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Review #25, by Zee Chapter 2

14th June 2012:
Hi,
I noticed that you didn't have any reviews so I decided to check out your story and I honestly think its not half bad. It's pretty good. I noticed a few grammar errors and suggest you get a beta otherwise I like where this is going!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. It means a lot.

I know my grammar isn't the best; I try my hardest and I will take your suggestion into consideration... I know the chapters aren't long, but Chapter 3 is a lot longer, so..yeah.

Thanks!
Stella


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