Reading Reviews for So This Is How It Ends...
39 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BitterSweetFlames The Ending Is Only the Beginning

6th November 2014:
Hello. Carla (SkitsandBits on the forums) here for the Claw November BvB Review Battle.

First off, I have mixed feelings about this story. NOT because it isn't wonderful because it is but because I want to hate myself for reading.
It's so painful and I know EXACTLY what they're going through. I've been through that, I've felt what they're feeling and I, in some way, hate you for making me feel that. Which, when you think about it, is great because it means you've been so effective as an author; in getting thoughts and feelings across.

The thing I love about this is that there aren't flourishes. You wrote it in such a straightforward way and with such a fine hand in characterization that I knew right away who Albus and Melinda were even thought this would be the first time I've read them as you wrote them.

You made me sympathize with them, wonder how they were when they were, in fact, together and in love. But you made me see how breaking up was the best decision for them. You've made me forgive you for breaking my heart in so few words.

"This is goodbye, Plinkett. Don't expect us to be friends."
- That's my favorite line. It's sad and you've managed to tell us what kind of person Albus is, the way they really love/d each other and the pain they're feeling. So well done.

Anyway, I really loved it. I was carefully avoiding NaNo so I decided to join the Review Battle; you've made it totally worth it. Thank you.


Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for avoiding NaNo to review me in the Review Battle. :)

I'm so sorry that you know what they're going through. :/ It's a painful thing, and I wanted to make it realistic. I'm glad it was effective, but I'm sorry it made you feel bad.

No flourishes here. It is what it is: A break up. And Albus and Melinda aren't meant to be together, because they're obviously such different people.

They were once in love, but things have changed quite a lot. Thanks for forgiving me for breaking your heart! Breaking up was the best decision, ultimately, and while that's unfortunate, it's life.

Thank you so very much. Albus is obviously a very severe personality, and I'm glad that I could reflect that in his dialogue.


 Report Review

Review #2, by Panda Weasley  The Ending Is Only the Beginning

1st June 2014:
Hello UnluckyStar57,
I thought this chapter was really good. I liked the story and I think you played it out perfectly. I didn't catch any mistakes and I don't have any critiques. Excellent job!
~Panda Weasley

Author's Response: Thank you for your review!

I'm very glad that you liked it and that you didn't catch any mistakes. I nitpick my writing to ensure that it's mistake-free, so hearing that you thought it was clean makes me happy. :)


 Report Review

Review #3, by LightLeviosa5443 The Stuff of Dreams

5th December 2013:
R&R Round 4! The Final one!

That dream was so powerful, and the perfect ending to the story. I think the way that they met on the stairs where it ended, to end it properly was so fitting of the entire story. This was probably up in the top fan fiction stories that I have ever read and I will most certainly be favouriting it.

Your characters stuck to the traits you gave them at the beginning, and no matter what they felt, they never strayed from that. They never became a completely different person to feel an emotion more strongly. I've seen a lot of authors do that, so good job!

I am intrigued to read your other stories, as this one was so fantastic! Thanks for the incredible read, I'm glad I responded to the thread when I did!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hello once more!!

The dream, ironically, was based off of a dream that I had. It didn't have people in it, but it did have the house. After I woke up, I remembered the dream and thought that I could use it as a metaphor. :)

Favoriting it?! You're SO sweet! Thank you so, so much!!!

I really tried to keep the characters true to themselves throughout the whole story. They changed a little, of course, but I didn't want them to change so much that they became totally different people.

I would be honored if you would read some of my other stories when you find the time. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying this one!


 Report Review

Review #4, by LightLeviosa5443 The Snake Without His Prize

5th December 2013:
R&R Round 3!

The Al that you have portrayed in this story is so unique, he's cold, but he's also caring, it's a strange mix of both, in my opinion. I can see where he cares, and where his softer interior is, but all he shows is the cold exterior. If that makes any sense at all. I actually kind of love this version of Albus. It fits a Slytherin persona perfectly and I don't think you could've written him any better.

I must admit, reading his letter to her was so upsetting, and especially when he started talking about how liberated he felt being free from her. I mean, I can understand not caring for someone anymore, but she didn't get a chance to enjoy her summer like he did, because she focused on him, she didn't admire other boys.

I also felt bad for his dorm mates when they were joshing him and he snapped at them, I can understand their looks of hurt as it would be rare form for Albus, and I can only imagine how they felt to actually show the looks of hurt.

I can't wait to see how you end this story, it's a really good one. I must admit, I think I like Melinda's POV better. But that might just be because she's nicer!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Thanks for another review! :)

Albus is, at heart, a true Slytherin. He is logical and calculates every move before he makes it. That's why he doesn't really like Melinda's quirks--he doesn't understand them. At the beginning of the relationship, he was less cold, but over time, he changed. I am so glad that you thought I portrayed him accurately!

Yeah, the letter was kind of brutal. Maybe too brutal, but I wanted it to be a bit dramatic. And Albus lashing out at his roommates was absolutely uncalled for, but he was understandably upset. After all, no one really likes to be told that they aren't enough for someone. When Melinda broke up with Albus, she was set free, but he was bound by his anger that SHE was the one who broke up with HIM.

Thanks again!! :)


 Report Review

Review #5, by LightLeviosa5443 The Bird Without Her Cage

5th December 2013:
R&R Round 2!

I love this chapter. I mean, I don't like how verbally and emotionally abusive Albus comes off, but I do love Melinda's realization that he helped her grow, and she now knows things that it could take people ages to ever discover.

I think there's something powerful to be said about the realization we see in this chapter. I mean, she can look back on memories and see both the good and the bad, no matter how awful the situation. Fantastic job on giving both the narrator and the story such depth, I found myself agreeing with everything said, and was completely absorbed the entire time. I had no desire to check the time, squirm in my seat or chew on the string from my sweat shirt.

This story is amazingly captivating and I can't wait to rush off to read the next chap!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hello again! :)

Yeah, Albus got very rude in an extremely short amount of time. I would like to think that he felt self-conscious and didn't want to draw too much attention to himself, and Melinda's behavior (although it was not a huge deal) made him uncomfortable.

Melinda sees the good and the bad because I wanted her to be introspective. I wanted her to look back and think, "Yeah, we had some bad times, but there were good times, too." Thank you for being so absorbed in the story!!! I am never sure if my writing draws people in or not, and I am so glad that it didn't make you want to check the time. ;)

Thanks again for your review!


 Report Review

Review #6, by LightLeviosa5443 The Ending Is Only the Beginning

5th December 2013:
Bronze vs. Blue Review Tag! Yay! So much fun!

I loved this chapter. I think this was an exceptionally strong way to start out the chapter. I literally cannot wait to read the rest of this story. I was thinking to myself one last review and then I'll stop for the night, but now I've just got to finish this story.

The chapter was so simple, but so perfect. I really like how Albus embraces his Slytherin traits. I've read a lot of fic's where he's placed in Slytherin but doesnt have a single trait of one, I'm afraid I might do it myself. I also love how you really bring out the main characters Ravenclaw traits. Gotta love claws!

Anyways, that was fantastic, I can't wait to read more!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your review! :D

I am so glad that you liked the chapter. It was somewhat based on an experience I had, but in the story, I blew everything out of proportion for dramatic effect. :)

Yeah, I really hate it when Albus is a Slytherin for no reason. I really wanted him to start out as sweet (at the beginning of the relationship) and then, as the months went by, become more cold and calculating.

'Claws are clawsome!! Melinda is still one of my most favorite characters that I have ever written. She's quirky and strange, and she does her own thing.

Really? You reviewed ALL of my chapters?!?!?! You are SUCH a doll!! Thank you so much! This really means a lot to me.

 Report Review

Review #7, by AlexFan The Stuff of Dreams

9th June 2013:
What an interesting way of settling things between two people who don't seem to get along. I thought the dream part was actually really cool and I thought it was pretty cool as well that they both had the same thing.

I like that they decided not to end things on a bad note and made up -kind of. I also like that this showed that not all romances come to a happy ending and that things happen that drive people apart but that doesn't mean things have to go badly.

Also, the quote at the end was deep. I actually really liked it.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing the last chapter!! :D

I'm glad that you liked the dream. It was actually based on a dream that I had before I wrote this chapter. :)

My characters made up (kind of) because sometimes in real life, that doesn't happen and I wanted there to be some kind of resolution. Because in real life, sometimes minds don't change. Sad, but true. :)

Thank you!! I'm very glad that you liked the quote. I had to manipulate it to make it read in a way that I liked. It's great to know that my work paid off. :)

Thanks again for your review!


 Report Review

Review #8, by AlexFan The Snake Without His Prize

7th June 2013:
I read this entire thing a while ago but I can finally review this chapter now!

Albus is so mean, he comes off as quite abusive and he sounds even worse than Percy did in the books! He writes like he's forty and from a different century and I can't believe that I only realised now how much of a jerk that Albus kind of was!

That being said, the way that he got angry when Melinda broke up with him and snapped at his friends kind of showed that as much as he disliked Melinda, he was still sad to lose something/

Or maybe I'm just being overly romantic and my cynical side is still asleep.

I can't believe that Albus was so rude to Melinda about the flower though. Yeah, you have to be honest in a relationship but there's a difference between being honest and just being rude. Plus, it's not like it's that big of a deal, she's just wearing a flower in her hair.

I love that you showed this from Albus' point of view though. There are very few times when there are explanations for why Albus acts like a jerk and I liked that there was an actual reason for this.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing my story! :)

Albus is really mean and kind of old-fashioned, but as much as he tries to hide his feelings, he is really sad when Melinda breaks up with him. My best explanation for his behavior is that he changed over the years, and he didn't want to admit it, so when Melinda forced him to admit change (by breaking up with him), his emotions were upended.

It's okay to be romantic sometimes. :)

I think that Albus was mean about the flower because he felt like he needed to control some aspect of his relationship, even as he felt it crumbling around him.

Thank you for your review!! :)


 Report Review

Review #9, by classicblack The Stuff of Dreams

19th January 2013:
Dear goodness I didn't know it was possible to feel so many emotions at once.

"Equilibrium has been reached, and their spheres of interaction-separate, but still somehow similar-are all the better for it." I loved this quote. It really helped sum up the entire story. It was closure for me because finally, finally, Albus and Melinda are equal. He is no longer controlling. He has learned his lesson. I find I dislike him just a bit less now.
They both can finally fly.

I like the imagery and symbolism of the house at the beginning. It was their life together. What they might have had before it all went sour. That's why it was crumbling and in the dream the closure finally achieved causes the pain and guiltt that was holding the house up to crumble and the house to fall. Closure.

I like to think that Melinda and Albus became friends after this. Not great friends, obivously, but someone that you send a Christmas card to.

Wonderful story! Thank you for introducing me to it! And with that I conclude my designated five reviews and say:
Happy writing,

Author's Response: Thank you for so many wonderful reviews!! I know it must have been a bit of a project, especially since you went an extra mile and left me six reviews! :)

The quote is one of my favorites, too. When I saw it in your review I did a double-take because it seemed like something that some other person wrote. I really didn't mean to be so fancy and put-together!! I do what I can, and it somehow worked for this story. :)

Yes, Albus and Melinda can fly alone now. The house that bound them together is gone. This whole chapter was actually inspired by a dream I had. I was like, "Whoa, that was cool!" and then I wove it into my story.

I guess you could say that Albus and Melinda are friends now, but very, very distant friends. And the Christmas card only has a signature at the bottom. Knowing Albus, he doesn't have time, and knowing Melinda, she understands. It's just kind of the way of things, you know?

Thank you again so much for all the reviews you've left me!! In the future, I'll have to publish a new chapter if I want you to review my work!! (You've reviewed all I've got on HPFF!!!) :)


 Report Review

Review #10, by classicblack The Snake Without His Prize

19th January 2013:
I loved the beginning sentences again. It was heavily ironic how Albus didn't take after his namesake, "the bravest man Harry ever knew", and became a cowardly Slytherin. Nice parallels! Of course, then Albus had to go and ruin it by making it seem like he was better than Melinda all along and just was too cowardly to break up with her. It makes me feel so much more sympathy for Melinda because he was leading her on, but it makes me feel better that she was the one to get the final word in the end. Darn you, Albus. Just darn you.

But honestly how in the world did he grow up to have such a hatred of oddness when his own sister is named after the oddest girl of the century? Did he never experience Luna, who both his parents loved, as a child? What happened? Gah, you're too good. I don't normally have this many questions.

I liked how both Albus and Melinda turned away from love after their break up. However, where Melinda became free and happier, Albus tunred sour and cold and bitter. The connections are amazing.

I have to say that this chapter did not make me like Albus more. It made me want to slap him repeatedly, though. I would never put up with a controlling relationship like that and I'm sad Melinda didn't see it sooner.

Lovely chapter!
Happy writing,

Author's Response: Oh, you flatter me! I didn't even notice the parallels until you pointed them out!

Yes, I suppose that Snape gave up his life for love of a girl while Albus Severus shrank away from a girl he used to love so that he could find a new life. It all comes down to the fact that Albus and Melinda were together, and Snape never had his moment with Lily. Snape lost the most wonderful thing in his life and lived in regret until his death. Albus gave up the most wonderful thing in his life because she ceased to be wonderful to him. He changed, for better or for worse. He is a coward by nature because he's never actually had a real cause to stand up for--Snape had his undying guilt to turn him over to the good side, and Albus never really had that. So the difference is ironic, but not unnatural, really. (I hope this all makes sense!) Thank you for making me think about this parallel! That was awesome of you. :)

As for his hatred of oddness, well, there are all sorts of siblings in a family. Lily Luna was named after an odd woman, but does she take after her? Was this odd woman ever around in my version of the story? Even I don't know, unfortunately. It might be a good thing if I were to write other stories, showcasing Albus' friends and siblings in this alternate universe of their story, but I don't have anything planned, exactly. Now that I read your questions, however, my thoughts are racing with ideas. Perhaps this summer I can come up with something worth publishing? :)

But to answer in a more concrete fashion: Albus could have disliked Luna's oddness, even though his parents loved her. There's no accounting for taste, as they say, and maybe Albus is just one of those straight-laced, professional types.

OR... He was more open-minded at the beginning, and that's why he became interested in Melinda. As time passed and he met more professionals in the Ministry, he began to emulate their worldview and professionalism, but took it too far. He started to hold Melinda at arm's length because she wasn't professional like he was. (I think this is the best of all the possible explanations I can give you!!)

I'm glad that you want to slap Albus. He definitely deserves it!!!

Thank you so much for making me think! I hope I didn't bore you too very much! :)


 Report Review

Review #11, by classicblack The Bird Without Her Cage

19th January 2013:
Oh that beginning! You set it up so I was thinking that Melinda was happy and lovely and all was well and then you hit me with that "six months of being quite alone" part. Very clever, you.

I enjoyed the look into the background of Albus and Melinda's relationship. Albus is so cute when he asks her out! It was interesting to see the parallels- Melinda sees herself (and she is I suppose) as a social outcast, but it's Albus- the confident, smart son of Harry Potter- who is nervous and intimidated when asking her out. Perhaps she's not so out-there after all? And then that scene in the snow and Albus's moments of spontaneity- perfect!

And then I read the rest of the chapter. It seems to me, although Melinda is essentially finished with Albus and doesn't have feelings for him anymore, there is still a part of her that wishes they were still together. I suppose it's sometimes an after-effect of a controlling relationship? Because Albus certainly was very controlling. I have a friend who recently ended a relationship similar to that of Albus and Melinda and so it actually helped me really feel for Melinda. Props for making me love and then dislike Albus all in one chapter!

I was going to comment on why you switched from third to first person in this chapter, but then I saw the title of the next chapter and it all makes sense. You're going to do a chapter from Ablus's perspective next. Perhaps I'll hate him less after that.

There were a few lines that felt a bit awkward. Just places when Melinda would narrate "for crying out loud" or "for Merlin's sake" which did make her narration less formal and more personal, but didn't seem to quite fit with the generally angsty, serious, and dramatic tone of this chapter.

Overall, fantastic chapter. I'm excited to read more. I'm really loving the quotes at the begining and end of each chapter, too.
Happy writing,

Author's Response: Hello again!

Yes, Melinda is happy, but she is reflective at the same time. I was trying not to make her seem too sad, but still, she misses the good times. They had a pretty good relationship before it all fell apart, and happy memories never really fade. However, Melinda also remembers the bad times, and they soon outweigh the happy ones. It's enough for her to finally lose her patience and her hope for a change in Albus' slowly deteriorating character.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. Boys and girls can really be awful to each other sometimes (all the time), and that's exactly what I was trying to show here. (And I may or may not have had a friend who went through the same sort of thing.)

As for the break in tone... Yeah. I'm sorry!! One day in the far-off future, I will edit and make it all better, I promise! :)

Thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #12, by classicblack The Ending Is Only the Beginning

19th January 2013:
I know you said you didn't want a review for this chapter, but I'm doing it (along with chapters 2, 3, and 4) anyway because I wanted to tell you how much I liked this chapter.

Really, you're a fantastic writer. I can't help being excited to read how Albus's character grows, hopefully away from a quite oblivious Slytherin? He seems so practical and cold-hearted but maybe that's a defense mechanism so he doesn't get hurt? I'm also looking forward seeing how Melinda and Albus's relationship grows in general. I liked the way you showed how their relationship grew slowly apart. How they weren't these polar opposites or best friends that fell in love, as those beautiful cliches go. They started out as strangers that grew in love and then fell apart.

I loved the quotes you used to begin and end this chapter. They fit excellently and helped set the mood of the story. Yet again, your description and detail were fantastic.

Happy writing,

Author's Response: Thank you so much for giving me an extra review!! That was so nice of you, and I'm sorry that it took me almost a MONTH to respond!!

*blushes* I'm glad you think I'm a fantastic writer. That's what I'd like to pretend, anyways, but sometimes... I don't know.

As you saw in the following chapters, Albus did not grow away from his practical cold-heartedness. This was a break up story, after all, and I had to give him a flaw (because he's practically perfect otherwise... except when he's not!)!!

Thank you for loving the quotes, and I look forward to (finally!) responding to the rest of your reviews!


 Report Review

Review #13, by AlexFan The Bird Without Her Cage

10th December 2012:
Go Melinda! I like Melinda, as a character, a lot. She's one of those characters that proves that you can love a boy all you want, but they should never become your life or the one the person that you depend on for more than anything.

Anyway, good job, I enjoyed the flashbacks and Albus seems like such a jerk! In other fanfictions, he's usually all cute and nice but he's really mean in this one. That was a compliment (of sorts) not an insult.

Author's Response: Thanks for your second review!! It was quite awesome of you to review TWICE in a row! :)

Because it was a breakup challenge, I had to make Albus a little rude. I wanted the change in both characters to be the reason they broke up, and I think I showed his mean side a little more than Melinda's bad side. :P

And don't worry, since I was aiming for him to be standoffish and rude, I definitely take it as a compliment!!

Thanks again for your review!


 Report Review

Review #14, by AlexFan The Ending Is Only the Beginning

10th December 2012:
Wow, that was just, wow. I really enjoyed that, I'll continue onto the next chapter when I have more time but for a first chapter, that was good. You've got me hooked.

Author's Response: Wooohoo!! I love going fishing for readers. ;)

Just kidding. Thanks for saying you'll read on!!


 Report Review

Review #15, by slytherinchica08 The Ending Is Only the Beginning

10th December 2012:
Oh I thought this was a great beginning to your story! I love the idea behind this, that instead of starting at the beginning of a relationship, you are starting at the end and seeing how they can pick up the pieces of their lives alone! I liked your characterizations as well. Your OC seemed to be very strongheaded and I liked how you added in that bit about Slytherin deception for Albus. You also seemed to have a nice balance between description and conversation so that was nice to see as well! There really isn't much else I can say other than that I liked it! Great Job!


Author's Response: Thank you for your review!! I'm glad you liked it! :)

When I wrote this story, I wanted both characters to embody the best and worst of their houses. Thank you for seeing some of that!! :)


 Report Review

Review #16, by Mystique The Bird Without Her Cage

5th December 2012:
Hi, I'm here from the BVB review battle.

I just have to say first off that this story is really good. Its well written and I couldn't find any grammatical or spelling errors, which made it even more enjoyable to read.

This is a really interesting plot you've chosen. The aftermath of someone's breakup isn't written about that often and I think that you've captured really well.

I like all the flashbacks in the story - I feel like they add a greater depth to the story, its only the second chapter, but I've already learned quite a bit about Al and Melinda's relationship - the only thing I would say is that maybe their dominating it a little too much.

But apart from that, I really liked this chapter and I'm definitely going on to read the next chapters. Oh and I love the titles you've chosen for your chapters especially "The Bird Without Her Cage" and "The Snake Without His Prize."


Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing!

I'm quite glad you liked my story, and I do hope that you enjoy what you read if you do decide to read on. :)

As for what you've said about Al and Melinda's relationship... I probably did say too much in the second chapter, but I was aiming for a 4-chapter fic, and it seemed like a logical way for the story to flow. If ever I have time to rearrange things, I will definitely try to make it a little more ambiguous about the nature of their dispute.

Thanks again for your review!! Feel free to leave another one if you have time. I love getting feedback from people because it makes me a better writer. :)


 Report Review

Review #17, by True Author The Ending Is Only the Beginning

4th December 2012:
Hi! Here from the Ravenclaw review battle! =]

First off, you have a definitely good plot. There aren't many break up stories here, so this one seemed original.

Melinda is an interesting character, but I thought she spoke to Al a bit too clearly. I mean, they're breaking up, aren't they? and they're breaking up after a long relationship so her speech should be something different. Like you can make her hesitate or something.

Otherwise a nice start! =]

Author's Response: Thanks very much for your review!!

You're actually the first person to mention Melinda's style of speaking, and there's kind of a funny story behind it.

You see, I based this story off of a real-life event, one that actually happened to me. When I spoke, I spoke frankly, because I was disgusted with the way things were. My feelings were not considered, and so I wanted to make things as quick as possible. That's kind of the viewpoint I was writing from, if you can believe that!

But I like your suggestion. I do understand that probably no one speaks like Melinda, except me, and so it might be a little hard to stomach.

Thanks for taking the time to review!


 Report Review

Review #18, by BoOkWoRm24 The Ending Is Only the Beginning

9th August 2012:
Hi there,

This was really good. The emotions that you had going on were really realistic. Your take on Albus was really interesting. He actually annoyed me sort of, and I really love that he annoyed me because it was something different. I am sort of pictureing him as Percy in Harry's body, if that makes any sense whatso ever.

I also really loved your OC's character. She seemed really ecentric, and quirky, but at the same time not crazy like Luna. So like a sensible Luna. Definitely not the stereotypical Ravenclaw (stingy know it all type of person).

The one thing would be the last line 'Better to be happy alone, than miserable together.' Its got this weird indent to it. Like its not centered but its not completly to the left. Its really not that big a deal, and I'm probably the only one who is going to take the time to point this out (I've got serious formatting OCD), but yeah you might want to pick a spot, either to the left completely, or centered completely.

Anyway this was quite good, I loved your characters, hope to see you around the BvB battle some time soon.


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

I'm glad you enjoyed my different take on Albus Potter. Because this was a break up story, I didn't want to make him too nice. I never thought about him being like Percy, but yeah... I guess I can picture that now! :)

Melinda (my OC) is rather quirky. She doesn't follow the crowd, much like Luna, but she is a bit more down-to-earth than Luna.

Aughhh... The last line? I never noticed that. When I edit this (sometime in the very distant future... Time is short!) I will definitely fix that!!

Thanks so much!


 Report Review

Review #19, by StormThief17 The Stuff of Dreams

5th July 2012:
*blinks* did you just mention me in your author's note?! Aww you're welcome! This is one of my favorite stories that I got to review as a result of my review thread! Its nice to come across a story I can just go on about instead of trying to figure out how to say stuff.

Anyway, the actual chapter was such a perfect ending!! The whole house of dreams? Stunning. Really a perfect image for what they've gone through. And I'm really glad that they made peace with each other. Its good they've reached "equilibrium" but its not like they got back together. That would have been wrong. The way you wrote it is much more realistic! And great ending! That little sentence about dreams being stronger than grudges was a very solid note to end on. Congratulations on winning Third place!! You certainly deserve it :)

Please keep up your writing! It is really refreshing and unique!

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you liked my story. :)
As for the AN mention, I felt that it was the least I could do after your lovely reviews!!

In this chapter, I really wanted a lot of symbolism to tie everything together and create a circle. Equilibrium seemed the best balance point for the pair, because they were too far apart to get back together.

Thank you for reviewing every chapter, and thanks for the congratulations!! I will definitely be writing more in the future. :)

 Report Review

Review #20, by StormThief17 The Snake Without His Prize

5th July 2012:
Ugh, I really don't like Albus! And I mean that you wrote him very cleverly so that I can't stand his cowardice but I also feel sorry for him. Get ready for another gushy review, even though you didn't request ;)

That letter he wrote? Oh my gosh it made me want to slap him! You can't just do that to your girlfriend! Ahh it made me so angry! And the way he acted with his friends? Grrr its so mean! I genuinely can't stand the way he is acting! Such a jerk!! Of course I can't help feel a tiny bit sorry for him. He lost a lot! Basically what I'm trying to say is that this chapter was awesome and I loved it, even though I wanted to put Albus in his place.

The flashbacks were really well done again, I have to say! They helped a lot more than a whole chapter of Albus just reminiscing. I can't wait to read the last chapter!

Author's Response: Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!

When I wrote Albus, I felt like he was way too mean and heartless, and it seemed like he had no feelings about the break-up. I'm going to work on his character to make him seem a little more empathetic. I really didn't mean to make him so, so rude, but it just kind of happened...

Thank you so much for reviewing again!!

 Report Review

Review #21, by MissLizet The Ending Is Only the Beginning

3rd July 2012:
I'm sorry but this isn't actually a review of your story. You gave nice reviews on one of mine, Puppy love, and I couldn't find where I can send you a message, so this is how. I'm no longer putting it on HPFF, instead I put it on fanfiction . com. If you want to keep reading it its on:
http:// www. fanfiction. net /~misslizet
Just wanted to let you know.

Author's Response: Thanks for letting me know. I'll try to check it out sometime. :)

 Report Review

Review #22, by LyrisLovegood The Stuff of Dreams

3rd July 2012:
Hi :) I'm back again!

Aw I got a shout out and it wasn't just to say it was my challenge haha ^.^ Thanks for that!!

Right I love this. The ending is perfect. I love how they sorted it out but didn't end up together as it feels more real and realistic. I mean not every couple gets back together and I like that take on your story, very much so :)

And finally I can't believe it is over :(

Keep up the great writing :) and can't wait to read more of your future story!

Author's Response: Hello. :)

Thank you for loving the ending!! It was actually based on a dream I had, and I wanted the symbolism to really show through in this chapter.

I can't believe that it's over, either. I feel like it was so exciting to watch every day for my new chapters to come out on the archives, and now that it's finished, I'm just kind of floating around...

Thank you for reviewing my story!! :)

 Report Review

Review #23, by xxstaindrosesxx The Ending Is Only the Beginning

27th June 2012:
Hello there! I'm from the review tag, but I know you've seen me on the forums, and you reviewed my Heavy at Heart story awhile back!

First of all, I want to start out by saying that I don't normally read many NextGen stories, and I don't think of Albus as a Slytherin, but that's my own reasons. :D Just thought I would let you know so that there is no bias or anything in my review.

Okay, so I thought this story was very descriptive and detailed. It was really the little things that made the break up believable. You mention the fights, how Albus would simply kiss her and hug her and then move past it without even giving it a second's thought. It almost sounded like the arguing became so normal, that his apologies were basically a chore. They fought, and he carried out his chore. I really liked that. It can show how someone will stay in a relationship with no love, no companionship, and so the only thing there really is in the relationship is commitment. That's called empty love, and with Albus's cold heart and his reactions to her after arguments, that's almost the impression I got. Not sure that's what you were going for, but I liked it that way.

Also, I liked your OC, Melinda. I enjoyed your descriptions of her, how she enjoys the flowers in her hair and weird things that puts Albus off. How he can't accept those things but somehow feels the need to tell her about it, yet still be with her. It's the little things in relationships that matter, and if all the little things are going to annoy you, then it probably won't work, so kudos to you for contributing that to the story as well.

Overall, I think you did a very good job. I didn't really see any grammatical errors, or at least not that I know of. I guess my only complaint would be in one spot you have her speaking and then in parentheses you have a thought of Albus's and it continued with her line. That was a bit confusing, but other then that, it was good. :D

Author's Response: Thanks for you review!

Honestly, I don't think of Albus as a Slytherin either, but for this story, I wanted his personality to match his house. Sometimes Albus is portrayed as very sweet, brave, and Gryffindor-ish, and sometimes he is a cunning, standoffish Slytherin. His ambition and cold calculation in this story is what ultimately made me decide to place him in Slytherin.

I definitely was going for the "empty love" angle, though I had no idea what it was called. As a real, live human being, I know that empty love can happen, and I wanted to show that in fanfiction as well. I'm very happy that you picked up on that, and I'm super happy that you analyzed it so well. :)

It definitely is the little things that matter the most, and Melinda's "imperfections" just kept adding up for Albus. I put that in to show that he isn't completely to blame in this mess!

Thank you very much! I try to write with as few grammatical errors as possible... It makes for a story that is easier to read, in my opinion. The parentheses thing is something that I will definitely look into when I edit this story... Sometime in the future, whenever that may be! :)

 Report Review

Review #24, by LittleLionGirl The Snake Without His Prize

27th June 2012:
I'm at the crossroads with Al. CC? nothing except Christmastime should be two words.. right? Sorry in editor/nitpicking mode... *feeble smile*

Author's Response: It's okay. I've seen "Christmastime" written both ways, and I just happened to choose that one. :)

Thanks for reviewing again!!

 Report Review

Review #25, by LittleLionGirl The Bird Without Her Cage

27th June 2012:
I like this chapter because Milenda (sorry if I spelled it wrong) is a strong girl. It takes a while to get as far as she has in the relationship aftermath process and I'm hoping I can get there too eventually. No real CC because i think it's great

Author's Response: You're too kind. :)

I tried to make her strong, because sometimes girls don't know how to get over a guy. I forced her to find her own way. :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>