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4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AlexFan Black and Yellow

19th November 2014:
Talk about a quick way to become friends with someone huh? For someone that apparently doesn't really have any friends, Albus sure has a way of chatting people up and being real chummy with them even if they are acquaintances. I like how you set up the chapter by introducing Lara as this sort of motherhen figure, which I don't think I've ever really seen before in fics and I'm actually really interested in seeing how this part of her plays out throughout the story, and how it affects the dynamic of her friends.

I don't know why but I just really like the fact that she takes care of her friends, she's goes around making sure that they're all okay and keeps them from doing anything stupid and she doesn't seem all too bothered by it (which I wonder if this is going to change throughout the story).

Anyway, I liked this as a first chapter but then again I can never resist a fake dating story.

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Review #2, by 800 words of heaven Black and Yellow

5th April 2014:
REVIEW TAG!

Well! That was an awfully fast jump into the plot! I have a similar fake girlfriend story (but with Sirius, not Albus) and it took me ages to get to where you got! I'm super excited to see where you take them!

To be honest, I really hate Albus right now. He's mysogynistic and arrogant and there is not much in him that is likeable right now. He probably reckons he's a bad boy, doesn't he? It'll be interested to see his character progression, and what makes him change.

Lara seems like a real people pleaser right now, the way she takes care of her friends. I wonder what more trouble this will lead her into? She already has to fake-date a real jerk!

Excited to see what happens in the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Is the fast plot thing bad? I don't know, I'm not very good at preamble around plots, I love just jumping in. Anyway, yeah you've got Lara pegged, she's the 'mother' of her friends. Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #3, by GrangerDanger76 Black and Yellow

17th September 2012:
HAHAHHAHAHA! Okay, Sorry.

Hey, What's up? This is GrangerDanger76 from the forums for team Blue! :)

So, I'm sorry, but they way you just described this entire chapter, was absolutly hilarious and totally perfect.

You were able to establish relationships and Lara as a motherly role at the same time as maintane an interesting plot and a very interesting spin on Her and Albus.

I like Lara's quick sharp tongue, it makes me currious as to what will happen with those two mixed together! :)

Great Job! 10/10

~GD76

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it :)



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Review #4, by HatersGonnaHate Black and Yellow

19th June 2012:
Hello there, It's me for your review swap.

I think this is a pretty interesting idea, how Lara was the one trying to act like a mother to all her friends. However I do think the plot is a little cliche now. I can already guess what's going to hapen and trust me, if that hapens people generally become un-interested and stop reading. However you can change that and perhas put in some twists it might become a little more interesting to read on.

Nice first chapter.

>Beccy

Author's Response: Thank you for the insight. I'll work on that plot twist :) This has been really helpful :) Thanks.

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