Reading Reviews for Behind Restricted Borders
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by santosh Fear

20th November 2013:
please write some more i love this story

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Review #2, by xelha horse The Chase Begins

27th July 2012:
That made goosebumps pop up on my arms...WOW! I loved this look into how Voldy reacted to finding out about Harry & the Horcruxes, and you seemed to perfectly characterize him just the way JK would! And the whole "I'm too good for Apparating so I fly" thing was brilliant!

Just one thing, Occlumency is protecting one's mind against Legilimency, which is "reading" people's minds (or as Snape so wonderfully says, "...to delve into the minds of their victims and to interpret their findings correctly." :3)

Anyways, great story!! Can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response: *facepalm* Can't believe I messed up the two again! Thanks for pointing that out :D I'll correct that. I loved getting inside his head. So dark and MY MY he's so vain. So self obsessed. Dumbledore should have shook him that time when he visited the orphanage until his brains fell into the correct place.

I think I'm turning dark :D Thank you so much for the review love :D Made my day.

*Hugs*


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Review #3, by adluvshp The Chase Begins

27th July 2012:
Here for Pass the Parcel!

Wow this was an awesome piece! I loved the way you described Voldemort, it was so spot on.
Your narrative almost gave me chills. Your idea itself is quite interesting - telling everything from Voldemort's point of view. I liked the way you described everything.
The flow and pace was very well done too.
I think this is a great introductory chapter!

Good work! 10/10

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: I loved getting inside his head. He's so dark and twisted. That man really needs some love. seriously ;)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing AD. I'm so glad you liked it :D

*Hugs*


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Review #4, by StormThief17 The Chase Begins

26th July 2012:
Hey, here from pass the parcel!

Wow, what a cool story! Writing from Voldemort's POV is a hard thing to do, but I think you managed it. I especially liked the line at the end--"His purpose wasnít murder. It was annihilation."

That seems exactly IC for voldemort. I think you did a great job of bringing his twisted anger and rage into the story but not letting that eclipse his cold and clever demeanor. Anyway, great job! You've got a great writing style.

Author's Response: Aww thanks love :) In this story I really got inside his head. Not that good I know but I enjoyed it ;) hehe I'm turning evil.

Thank you for the review :)

*Hugs*


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Review #5, by angel_speaks The Chase Begins

26th July 2012:
Hoya!
EM here with a pass the parcel review!

Grammar/ spelling: Two thumbs up! I didn't see anything in this chapter that would raise any concern nor distract your readers.

Characterization: I love the original characters on this piece as they represented the original canon with an added twist of your own. I can't say much on their development for now as this is just the first chapter. However, I am excited to see how they develop in this story.

Imagery/ emotion: I can honestly say that you are off to a good start on this part! I loved the beginning because of the amount of description that you wrote. And that's what I love! Description, description, description; i want to see how you, as the author, picture these things happening. I'd like to see more emotion coming from the characters because I think that's what ties in your readers to your story! Like I said before, you are off to a good start on this one.

Plot: So far so good. You kept it vague allowing for the other elements of the plot to unravel. I'd like to see this happen. It's very interesting so far and based off of what I said in the previous category, you have got an awesome opening!

Happy Writing!

Author's Response: Awww thanks Em :D

I really felt like him, like Voldemort. I don't know but this was the very first time I got so deep into a character. I could see feel hear everything through his senses. It was an amazing feeling. (No not being the Dark Lord, but getting into my character's head) hehe who know, maybe I'll turn to the dark side...

Why not? Draco is there!

Probably not. Sirius is not there so no way.

Hehe sorry. See what I mean? I get carried away. Thank you so much for the lovely review Em. I hope you find the other chapter lovely too :D

*Hugs*


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Review #6, by Shlesha Fear

30th June 2012:
This chapter was wonderful! The only thing that really stood out to me was Crucio's incorrect spelling the first time around. But, that was probably merely a typo. I suggest you look over your work more. Other than that, wonderful characterization, plot development, storyline, and flow! This is really nicely written! Keep up the great work! :)

Author's Response: Thanks love :) Ohh it's just that, the story is in my head so the mistakes are easily overlooked. I have a beta now so things will be better next time :) Thanks for your time.

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Review #7, by Shlesha The Chase Begins

30th June 2012:
The first thing I noticed was that you called a goblin a half-breed. Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I don't think goblins are a mixture of two different species.

Anyways, the story definitely sucks you in and I absolutely LOVE the idea, it's very original for sure! Your use of description is very potent as well. However, at times I noticed your grammar was a bit off.

An example: They all need to be rid of. None of them were worthy of the world Lord Voldemort was planning to build after he destroys his one threat, the Boy Who Lived.

Correction: He needed to get rid of them all. None of them were worthy of the world Lord Voldemort was planning to build after he destroyed his one threat, the Boy Who Lived.

That's just he basic grammar correction. However, if you wanted to flourish it a little, I would do something like this: Lord Voldemort needed to get rid of them all. Not a single one of them was worthy of the world he was planning to build once he destroyed his one and only threat everyone called the Boy Who Lived, once and for all.

Of course you could play around with it though! It isn't bad at all, just could be improved, but then again there's always room for improvement!

Another thing I noticed was the repetitiveness throughout the chapter. It is mentioned more than once that Voldemort trusted nobody, which in a way, drags the chapter.

Characterization wise, you wrote Voldemort wonderfully! He was in character and completely believable! Great job! I'll comment more on plot in the next chapter! Overall, well done!

Author's Response: Thank you very much once again :) Ohh yeah like I said I have beta now so things will be better in the future. Yeah the repetition. Sorry but I loved doing that :D But I understand. Must be annoying to read. Thank you for pointing out my mistakes love I'll do better next time.

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Review #8, by Jchrissy Fear

25th June 2012:
I LOVE the repetition, first of all! Love it!!

I was actually nervous when you told me you would be doing Voldemort, mainly because he is such a complex character.

You did an amazing job with it, and really managed to step outside the box and bring to life this terrifying person. I'm a little afraid of how well I think you got inside his head.

The bank scene, the cave, they were perfect additions to showing his growing uneasiness of harry. I do believe deep down he would have been a little bit afraid of him, he knew Harry could mean his death, even if he wanted to pretend otherwise.

Great job, thank you for your submission! Results will be announced very shortly!!! Like 20 minutes ;)!

Author's Response: I was sooo depressed when the dead line came because I couldn't finish it properly. I had a good idea for the finish but you know, stupid exams. Hehe I know!!! I'm dangerous :P Thank you so much Jami. I really enjoyed doing this challenge. It was sort of in my safety zone :D

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Review #9, by Maybe Fear

19th June 2012:
The description of Voldemort's increasing fury is brilliant. And how he's starting to feel fear, which is not something I think he feels that often. He's always had his Horcruxes to tie him to life but, now that they are being destroyed, he's losing control because he's weakening. His only fear is death and it's so much closer now.

The line that said "I broke him like a haggard Muppet" was a bit strange, I thought. The use of that word is more of a modern thing and I'm not sure Voldemort would use this kind of slang... Also the 'm' shouldn't be capitalised since that's then The Muppets, as in the show. One other thing was that you repeated 'the boy' a lot. At first, the repetition of the phrase was really effective but I think it then was overused a little. Perhaps calling him 'Potter' would work?

I loved this line though: I shatted his grave and stood upon his bones. I got a great image of it and it brings across Voldemort's satisfaction at having been able to do that.

Your Parseltongue is great too, I think it fits with what we know from canon.

Most of all, I like how Voldemort feels the connection to the cave. He doesn't feel connected to people, but this is where he keeps part of his soul. And Voldemort likes to think that he is so very connected to his Horcruxes, since they are a part of him. Even if he can't sense them being destroyed.

Another great chapter!

- Em :)

Author's Response: I do have a major capital issue :( I'll work on it. Thank you so much Em :D Your reviews are great. oh yeah nuh that's a bit slang-ish. Never thought of that. I'll work on that too. Hehe thanks for the great review and thanks for reading Em. :D

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Review #10, by Maybe The Chase Begins

13th June 2012:
Sorry I'm late!

I really liked this :) And I loved the last line, I thought it was a brilliant way to end the chapter. You've got Voldemort's character down, I think, which is pretty impressive because I wouldn't know where to start with his character :P

It was interesting reading from the villain's perspective, especially since we've seen this from Harry's point of view. I loved how you described the sense of satisfaction he felt after murder. Oh, and how he felt about Death Eaters hiding behind goblins. Very Voldy-like ;)

- Em :)

Author's Response: Aww thanks Em :D Thought I overdid the whole self-obsessed thinking part. :D I didn't mean to take it that far but once I started, it just went on and on. Hehe I have a potential to be a villain ;) Muhaha. Thanks again. Hope you read it to the end ;)

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Review #11, by sugar kn The Chase Begins

10th June 2012:
i had 2 google search every 5 words too many big words man...
good but needs more sexiness...

Author's Response: It's Voldemort :P Sexiness? He's going to die!! Haha thanks anyways Caine. :)

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