Reading Reviews for His last moments
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jchrissy His last moments

25th June 2012:
Oh goodness, Tonks and Remus anything is heart breaking. You did such an amazing job capturing their death, highlighting Remus's pain..

The way you have everything moving so slowly for him, and he seems so confused, as soon as he realizes him and tonks are separated then throughout the remainder of the story, is absolutely perfect.

Thank you so much for the submission, amazing job! Results will be out soon!!

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Review #2, by potterfan310 His last moments

7th June 2012:
From Gryffie review thread :D

This is beautiful, yet also sad. You have really captured Lupin's emotions and his pain of losing Tonks.

I feel bad for him, I mean he has already seen Bella kill his best friend in front if him and now Tonks.

It is really good and all the emotions are captured well, I felt like I was there running throught the battle with Lupin on his quest to find his wife.

Tip - A few sentences seem to have multiple comma's and could have been made into two seperate sentences rather than one. other than that it is really good :)
10/10
-potterfan310

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Review #3, by caoty His last moments

7th June 2012:
One of the things I like about this piece is the pace. It's fast and frantic, and it matches its setting well.

However, there is a bit to be improved; mostly stylistic and characterisation stuff. There are a fair few typos and probably more commas than you should have used, and while this does at to the breathless pace, it sometimes does seem a bit clumsy. That's not anything a good proofread can't fix, though. On Remus' characterisation: I don't know, I don't see him as the type for despair and heroics, as in canon he comes across as an extremely controlled man, even at the climax of PoA, which would probably be almost as traumatic for him as Tonks' death. I'm also personally not convinced that Tonks is the only woman he's ever loved; as he's in his thirties when he marries her, and he's not *that* socially awkward, there probably would have been someone else at some point. This might just be me, though, because I am the world's biggest Remus/Sirius shipper. But anyway.

Overall, there is room for improvement, but the concept in itself is great, and you chose an interesting character to work with. Good luck in the challenge. :)

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