Reading Reviews for Helix-Breaker
  
41 Reviews Found

Review #1, by daretodream Dead or Alive

4th September 2012:
Well, that was interesting.

So first, Draco saves Hermione's life...though it doesn't really seem like he has any choice. Either he saves or he doesn't, but either way it is going to be an inconvenience for him. I'm glad that ultimately he makes the decision to save her (restores my faith in his humanity a little bit). Then again, does he really have a choice with a very angry and very powerful Harry expecting him to?

Though, there is also the fact that his mother doesn't want Hermione to die in the house.

I do NOT like the Head Auror (seriously, that comment about Hermione and Harry living together?!?!), though I suppose that is your intention. Still, I think that JKR paints us a world where one would think, after the end of the war, those in power would be huge Harry supporters. And though I don't like the idea of someone NOT being a Harry supporter, I do like that you thought of that and still put him in a position of power. You're taking away some fo the idealization, and in my opinion it adds to the story.

Then again, if Kingsley finds out the blatant and quite honestly undeserved bias that the Head Auror is holding against Harry, I can't imagine he will be allowed to openly continue doing whatever he can to get rid of him.

Also, I see Pamela leaving them ending in disaster for her. I for one don't trust the wards that the Aurors are going to put up around her house. Especially as that's her only means of protection.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

~Cassie

Author's Response: Hi Cassie!

Draco doesn't really have a choice but to save Hermione. If the Department would have given Draco the 'okay' to leave Hermione to die, I think he would have ended up trying to save her anyway. Not only because of Harry and his mother (which he might use as an excuse), but also because I don't think he could live with himself if he didn't save her. Draco's just not good at being evil. He's not cunning, he's not particularly cruel, and he's not fantastically bright. I think it's fitting that he once studied healing magic in the secrecy of his library.

The Head Auror will be addressed in a future chapter! Unfortunately, the department heads are elected by the Wizengamot. In my story, the Wizengamot are mostly house heads from old familes. It's made up of a mixture of half-bloods and purebloods. They elect the department heads, instead of the minister. Thus, Kingsley doesn't technically have full control, though his complaints would be taken very seriously by the Wizengamot. The Head Auror probably didn't realize that Harry was buddies with the Minister.

Pamela is actually probably better off for leaving, if she can get away from those Aurors. The wards might be faulty, but the Department isn't going after her anymore. She'll be coming back in a later chapter.

Thanks for the review!

Aether






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Review #2, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Making Contact

4th September 2012:
Hi, Elphaba here again!

I like this chapter a lot. :) There's a lot of action, the plot takes an interesting twist and you reveal some intriguing character details about Draco.

My favorite section is Draco's meeting with Blaise Zabini. Finding out that he works for the Department of Mysteries and that Zabini is his new boss provided an excellent twist to the story. Your description of his feelings -- "Draco's pride had just been tossed off the edge of the Hogwart's Astronomy Tower." -- is very well done.

I also like your characterization of him. Zabini points out that he came up with creative ways to kill off Hermione, and yet he's horrified when he's told that she's been killed for real. I also like that you've made Draco and Blaise enemies instead of friends. This creates a very interesting dynamic between them.

One minor editorial thing I want to point out is that Witch Weekly and Daily Prophet should be italicized, since they are titles.

Another minor thing I noticed: during Harry and Hermione's discussion of who is being targeted, Harry says, "but why not attack civilians?" I wonder if the "not" should be removed, because it seems like he's trying to argue that they are after him, and not Hermione.

I think the descriptions of the different curses during this attack are pretty cool. The "grimy yellow curse" really amused me (in a good way) for some reason, the "murky orange curse" too. :)

I was confused by this paragraph, because I couldn't find anywhere earlier in the chapter where these three people had been mentioned:

"What do we do, Auror Potter?" asked a man wearing a St. Mungo's uniform as he approached Harry, with three adults behind him. They were the same three people who had been in charge of the sudden crowd control.

I wonder if something got deleted?

Anyway, the healer in this scene (who sneers at Hermione for not recognizing the blood replenishing potion) is a total jerk! I have met some jerky doctors and nurses before, but I think most would be much more empathetic in this situation. In other words, if this character were to appear again then I would expect him to either apologize for being such a jerk, or to continue to be a jerk to everyone. :)

I really like how Harry has the idea to use Rita Skeeter and the press for protection. Now I wonder what he had to do to get their story out so quickly. Did he promise her an exclusive tell-all about his and Ginny's upcoming wedding? Tee-hee!

Keep up the good writing! If you think my reviews are helpful then please re-request. I'm happy to continue reading & reviewing as long it's helpful. :)

Author's Response: Wow that chapter was an editing smorgasborg (whatever that means). I think I changed things so much from the original that I lost a bit of flow. Anyway, I did have a line about the three controlling the crowd. I'm going to go back and fix that. Actually, the healer was insulting Harry's knowledge, not Hermione's. I'll have to make sure that's clear, too, or delete it altogether. He does care about Hermione, but he does not care for Harry. Harry just killed five hit wizards in seconds, and I think the healer was a bit spooked by that. I always imagined healers and fighters as being a bit of polar opposites, you know?

Rita Skeeter will be coming back in future chapters. I keep forgetting about her, but she does play an important role in part of the story.

Thank you so much for your review! I will go back and edit those things you pointed out. Your reviews were very helpful!

Aether


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Review #3, by Emma Squib Encounter

4th September 2012:
I read it and I like it but I don''t have anything constructive to say.

Author's Response: Thanks for letting me know you're reading! :) I'm glad to know you like it.

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Review #4, by Emma Mistake

4th September 2012:
I really like it. The scientific bit is interesting, however I feel that Hermione figured it out to quickly. I mean after reading only half of one book. Otherwise I quite liked it.

Author's Response: I've always imagined Hermione as being a bit of a prodigy. She didn't figure out all of it, but she did quickly relate the pattern of Squibs and autosomal recessive genes. I'll go back and take a look at that when I have time. Thanks for your review! :)

Aether


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Review #5, by Lady Eilella Dead or Alive

3rd September 2012:
I am very glad that I found this story! It has a definite twist on things! I wonder what will happen to Pamela..

Author's Response: Poor Pamela... I wouldn't want to be in her shoes right now - or, ever, really. She's had it tough, but I think she's actually made a good choice. She doesn't know anything about current events in the wizarding world, and she's nearly powerless against a witch or wizard with a wand. I thought I'd give her a bit of a break from the action, for now. Thanks for the review!

Aether


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Review #6, by bookworm530 Dead or Alive

3rd September 2012:
Thank you for the shout out...you are so sweet! Always love an update from this fic. Thank Merlin that Draco saved Hermione! I especially liked the part where Narcissa saw right through the false headline about her son. I hope to see Draco and Hermione become closer soon since that is the whole reason why I started reading this fic. Enjoy your hiatus, I look forward to an update when you are ready.

Author's Response: Hah hah. I had to give you a shout-out! You're awesome for leaving a review every chapter. It's nice to know someone's been following along since the beginning. Draco and Hermione will be butting heads for a few more chapters, but they'll definitely be interacting a lot more than previous chapters. I'm trying to keep both of them realistic and consistent characters, so it might take some time to get them all the way to Dramione stage. It'll be worth it, though! Thanks for your review!

Aether


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Review #7, by daretodream Dinner with the Malfoys

28th August 2012:
Well, dinner went as well as could honestly be expected, I supposed.

Seriously though, Draco can be just so PIGHEADED. The entitlement under which he was raised is unbelievable. I can't imagine ever treating/speaking to another human in the ways that he does, and all because he thinks he is superior for absolutely NO reason.

And Narcissa Malfoy, she's a real piece of work, no? I usually have sympathetic tendencies towards her, but your version of her does not appeal to that side of me. Honestly, I think I like disliking her more. Feels more natural.

Hermione though, hopefully she is all right. This has all been a very stressful evening for her, on top of her being wounded, so hopefully she is a bit more careful. Well, she really has no choice now as she is unconscious.

Poor Pamela. I'm beginning to really like her character, though I fluctuate between identifying more with her or with Hermione on their position on what the wizarding society should do with squibs. So all in all, I'm undecided.

I don't know why I never did this last time, but this is in my favorites now so I'm sure not to miss an update. Good work!

~Cassie

Author's Response: In that particular scene he was trying and failing to follow Blaise's instructions. He sensed some sympathy from Pansy for Hermione's new idea, and he was trying to prove Hermione wrong.

Narcissa isn't evil, per say. She's had it rough. She's broke and unpopular, and she's spent the last two years having her pride beat to pieces. Her husband is in jail, and her son's been leaving for long periods of time without telling her where he's going. She's sticking to what she knows, and she's trying to hold together what little remains of her reputation. Maybe I should go back and make that clearer in this chapter. Regardless, Narcissa is mean and annoying, and if I weren't writing her, I'd probably dislike her too.

Hermione's been a bit of a punching bag so far in this story. Hah, hah. Whoops. Well, she's the one who wanted to completely re-haul the Ministry of Magic.

It's good that you're undecided! I'm trying to stress how this sort of thing isn't cut-and-dry or right-and-wrong. They come from completely different perspectives, but they both have rational and correct points of view. I think it sort of highlights how important it is that the situation not occur in the first place. It's a horrifying disability/situation to have if you're born into a society that values magic so much.

Thanks so much for your reviews! You're so wonderful, and it's very helpful to know what you think about characters!

Aether




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Review #8, by daretodream Draco's Manor

28th August 2012:
The meeting is coming!

The moment that is going to make the whole story really start to come together, I do think. At least, what you have so far. I never am quite sure what you have up your sleeve for us next.

Though I do believe that Draco will eventually wind up on Hermione's side (obviously, this is a Dramione, is it not?) He doesn't seem to have exactly what it takes to be the ruthless politician necessary to do whatever the "Department" has planned for him, as Blaise so aptly pointed out this chapter.

Blaise seems very astute in a lot of ways. He recognizes his own flaws and the flaws in his plans. He also seems to be willing to swallow unpleasant truths, if they accomplish the ends he is trying to achieve. All in all, a really interesting character.

And it is JUST like Harry to play the hero and not clue anyone else into the problems he is havign with his life. Seriously Harry, that's quite the hero's complex you have going there. Though I am worried about Ginny. What could possibly be going on there? Is she no longer on the good side? Hm...

I'm intrigued to see where this dinner goes. It should be interesting, to say the least.

~Cassie

Author's Response: Draco... well, he's not Blaise, that's for sure. Blaise is a mastermind - his childhood made him that way, and he probably inherited some of it from his mother. In comparison, Draco seems, well, less. Draco's never truly been independent. He's always had someone to tell him what to do or how to think, and in a lot of ways, that's made him less clever, less brave, and less sure of who he is as an individual. That doesn't mean he's a complete idiot, though. Part of this story is about Draco coming into himself. Big changes are on the way for him, but you already know that. I sort of gave it away with the whole Draco/Hermione description, didn't I? Whoops! Ah, well, I hope the rest of the story isn't as predictable. ;)

Blaise is great. I love him. He makes so much sense as a villain. Can you imagine what his childhood must have been like, with his mother being a psycho black widow-ish woman/seductress? I'd love to read a story about that childhood.

Ginny is definitely a wild card at this point. That's all I'll say because I don't want to give anything away.

Thanks for the review!

Aether


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Review #9, by daretodream Sleeper

28th August 2012:
Hey there!

Sorry it took me so long to get here...I started back at college the day after you requested, and things have been a bit...hectic.

I'd forgotten how much I liked this story, quite honestly. There is something about the mystery that you have shrouding everything as you slowly piece it all together that is so captivating.

Each chapter brings something new, but it is something I almost feel like I should have known, judging by the information I've already held, if that makes any sense? You're doing a wonderful job with all of the suspense, I'll certainly give you that.

And I'm really growing to like Pamela as a character and have a lot of sympathy for her. It can't have been easy, growing up the way she did. I felt especially bad when she said that they had actually thought she was magical, but that Pansy must have performed the accidental magic to save her instead, and just no one knew. It must be devastating to be a squib in a magical family under any circumstances, but especially when it is unexpected.

All in all this was a really good chapter! I think it might even be my favorite so far. I like the addition of the sleeper agents.

~Cassie

Author's Response: Ah, college... I'll probably be AWOL for a while after I start next week.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about the plot line and the characters and the way I want to bring them all together. I'm really happy to hear that you like how I've set it up so far. Believe it or not, there's much, much more to be revealed!

I'm glad you liked this chapter! :)

Aether


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Review #10, by academica Dinner with the Malfoys

28th August 2012:
Hello! Thanks for the shout-out :) I'm here with another requested review for you!

Ouch! For a moment, I thought Narcissa had undergone a drastic personality shift and wanted Harry, Hermione, and Pamela to come to dinner ("oh, good"), but I'm glad that wasn't the case. I thought you did her character just right.

I liked the awkward dinner party a lot. I thought you did a good job with Daphne and Pansy, especially the latter. I especially liked how she reacted to the discussion by asking if marrying Muggleborns was "the only way," because I think it says a lot about what it's like to have beliefs you've held as fact for generations suddenly challenged. I was a little surprised to hear Narcissa admit that Draco is no longer a suitable match for Pansy, though. I would think that she and her son would want to cling to their pride no matter what, especially with Lucius gone (nice way of wrapping up that little loose end, by the way). Same goes for Draco admitting that the Malfoys were now poor. I do like Draco's private conversation with his mother, though, and I felt like the honesty contained therein made more sense character-wise.

I liked the angry flare-up between Draco and Hermione, though. You did a good job keeping them in character, with Hermione sticking to her beloved logic and Draco to his precious pureblood values. I love how Narcissa was mainly worried about her furniture, too! The ending was nice and punchy and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next. Hopefully Hermione heals up okay!

Great work! I hope this is helpful :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda! Thanks for another great review!

Oh, ye of little faith... I guess Harry and Hermione were so hungry that they forgot how much Narcissa dislikes them.

Yeah, I ended up having Lucius in Azkaban. I looked back at Lexicon and was so surprised that Harry vouched for him after the war, according to JKR. I decided that it didn't fit the Harry I had made for this story. Plus, I'm just generally confused about that tidbit JKR gave. Maybe in her head she had a whole scenario for it?

The Malfoy family's reputation is completely destroyed. Their names have been dragged through the mud, and they're even the butt of jokes, at this point. Narcissa has managed to keep a small circle of friends, but she's on tenuous ground. Considering everything that's happened to the Malfoy's, Pansy should stay clear away from their name. If Narcissa is too obvious about setting Pansy/Draco up, Pansy and Daphne will know that it's all a ploy, and Pansy might be scared away. Narcissa thinks she'll have more luck getting Pansy to "follow her heart." Narcissa has a ton of pride, but she's also a Slytherin. In the last two years that she's lived poor and unpopular, she's learned a few tough lessons about setting aside pride for something better. (Example: accepting Grimmauld Place from Harry Potter)

I'm glad you liked the Hermione and Draco part! There will be much more of them in the next chapter.

Thank you so much for your review!

Aether




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Review #11, by D2Diamond Dinner with the Malfoys

26th August 2012:
Another wonderful chapter. I look forward to the next one!

Author's Response: Thanks! It's nice to see that you're still following along with this story! :) The next one should be out by the end of the week.

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Review #12, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Squib Encounter

25th August 2012:
Hi Elphaba here again!

There were quite a few things that I really liked about this chapter. One is your description of the privacy wards that Hermione set up around her and Ron's home. The concept is very cool, and definitely sounds like something Hermione would be responsible for. I love that the key to get through them is, "There's no place like home."

I also really like the conversation between Ron and Hermione about their relationship. It seems realistic and I feel like I can understand both of their motivations. I especially like this line of Ron's:

"We're fighting like an old married couple! And, neither of us is very happy. What if there are people out there who could make us happier? I think time apart would be good."

And I love that you put in a little of Ron's trademark humor with this exchange:

"I think," she started, surprised that her voice came out strong, "I think you're right."

"Four words I rarely hear," Ron said with a sheepish smile.

That passage made ME smile. :)

There are a couple of things that I have questions about, as well.

One is the Apparition station that Hermione uses to apparate home. I didn't think that wizards had to go anywhere in particular to be able to apparate, but that they could apparate from anywhere (with exceptions like Hogwarts, which is under very strong magical security). It just confused me that she had to walk to a station to do it.

The other question I have is whether Kingsley Shacklebolt is minister of magic or not. I ask about Shacklebolt because it occurred to me that since he is friends with Hermione, then she could simply ask him to help her get a job within the Ministry. I can't imagine him refusing her a job!

Since there appears to be so much prejudice in the ministry against muggleborns, I wonder if there is a full-blown conspiracy to keep them out? Like, maybe Hermione tried to contact Kingsley, and some of his own ministry people blocked it? If he isn't minister in this story, and a less progressive person were in office, then that would also explain Hermione's troubles.

Finally, I'm intrigued by Draco Malfoy's mysterious job! The final paragraph of the chapter has me wondering just is it that he works for? It's always good to leave people wanting to read more!

Author's Response: I wanted to emphasize the fact that after the war, Hermione wanted to settle down. She really loved the idea of creating a beautiful home with Ron, and she had already envisioned exactly how her life would go. Of course, when one thing after another doesn't work out, her carefully laid (and somewhat naive) plans fall apart.

The scene with Ron and Hermione wasn't originally in my plans for this chapter, but I just found myself writing it. I feel like the scenes you don't plan out and that sort flow naturally are usually much better than the carefully diagrammed ones. Thanks!

Apparition station? Did I put that in that chapter? Uh oh. Heh, heh. I think I've always imagine Apparition stations in areas where there is controlled Apparition, like Hogsmeade outside Hogwarts or Diagon Alley. It seems to make sense that highly populated areas would be warded against Apparition, but now that I think about it, that doesn't fit with my story at all. I'm going to have to go back and change that. Thanks for noticing that!

Kingsley IS minister. :) In fact, he's mentioned in chapter 5, and he makes his first appearance in chapter 7, which I haven't posted yet. I guess I assumed that Hermione didn't know Kingsley that well.They fought together for the Order, but I never saw them as friends. If she did owl Kingsley, he couldn't do much, unfortunately. I don't want to give too much away, though. Maybe I'll add that she did owl Kingsley but didn't hear back.

I'm glad you're enjoying this story so far! I'm also happy you picked up on the possibility of a conspiracy. Your review was extremely helpful, and you picked up on a lot of things I didn't even think about. Thank you!

Aether





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Review #13, by bookworm530 Dinner with the Malfoys

24th August 2012:
OMG Draco cast a spell on her in front of everyone??? That's insane. Can't wait to see how their feeling develop...update soon!

Author's Response: Hah, hah. Sorry for the cliff-hanger! :) The next chapter will be out by next weekend. Thanks so much for your review!

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Review #14, by granger_ Dinner with the Malfoys

24th August 2012:
Omg can't wait for the next chapter please try to update as soon as you can... Sorry for my impatience :) l get excited really quickly haha 10/10

Author's Response: Next chapter should be out soon! I've already sent it to my beta, so it just needs to be edited. It will probably be up by the end of the week. Thanks so much for your review! :)

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Review #15, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Mistake

21st August 2012:
Hi, Elphaba here! I've broken my comments into categories, here we go...

Plot: I really like the science-clashes-with-magic nature of the plot. I haven't read anything quite like this, either. I think that it's really interesting that you've decided to make the golden trio's transition into adulthood such a difficult one. Even though this isn't how post-Hogwarts fanfics are usually depicted, I think it is realistic for them to have trouble getting jobs and maintaining their relationships -- that's how it often turns out in the real world, after all. :)

Characterization: Harry and Hermione's interactions with each other seem very in-character, so far. They got along so well during DH (making Ron jealous then, too) that I could definitely see them getting caught up in the moment like that. I can also imagine Ron and Hermione's relationship being a very rocky one, since they fought so much in the books. Having Ron make the sexist suggestion that Hermione cook breakfast isn't something that I would have thought of, but he did make insensitive and boneheaded comments periodically throughout the series so it isn't completely implausible. You don't explain how/why Harry and Ginny broke up, and that is something that should be addressed at some point during the story, but I don't think it's necessary here.

Flow: Overall, I think this is very good. There were just a couple of phrases that stuck out, both toward beginning.

The first is the last sentence of the second paragraph: "Their society wasn't run by an irrational pureblood society." The repetition of the word society just seems off; maybe replace the first society with something like "government."

Farther along, this sentence just seemed a little awkward: "He had been the perfect man for the job of putting up with her ceaseless ranting." Maybe just shorten it up a bit, to something like: "He was the perfect man for the job of listening to her ceaseless rant."

I'm no editor, so feel free to ignore my suggestions. :)

I didn't find anything confusing. Even the genetics stuff seem to make sense. The only things I might consider changing with that section are to throw in a line to explain where/why Hermione got the book (maybe she stopped by the muggle library looking for light reading and the cover caught her eye). Then, when she is explaining the genetics stuff to Harry maybe describe their physical actions - I imagine her pointing excitedly to specific sections in the book, while his eyes glaze over - just to lighten it up a bit! :)

I'm not normally a Dramione fan, but this story seems interesting and I've enjoyed what I've read so far!

Author's Response: I like conflict and drama, so as far as the plot goes, there's plenty of that in this chapter and in chapters to come. :) I also think that Hermione, Harry and Ron would have more trouble than most as young adults because they aren't used to living without Voldemort hanging over their heads.

I think Ron was being sexist, and I would never tolerate my husband/boyfriend saying something like that. However, generally speaking, women are the ones who cook meals and clean the house these days, even if they have other jobs. Ron has grown up in a house with Molly Weasley, who is constantly raising her children, cleaning the house, and cooking huge meals for everyone. Also, Hermione knows this, and she doesn't exactly fault him for it - she might've scolded him if she had the time to think about what he'd said. I don't think Ron's a bad person for his 'sexist' comment. I rather think that he's used to having meals prepared for him, and if someone told him he was being sexist, he might argue that Hermione makes a better breakfast or something like that. Do you see where I'm coming from? I think it's more complex than, 'oh, he's sexist.' I think it's more of what he's used to, and, as you said, the fact that he doesn't always think about the implications of what he says.

Thanks for pointing out those phrases. I've done a ton of edits on this chapter, and sometimes sentences have been sort of clumsily spliced together. I'll go back and change those.

I'm glad nothing was confusing! I hope you don't think I wasn't planning on coming back to Harry/Ginny! Ginny is essential for the plot of this story, and there will be much more about her later - in fact, she makes an appearance in the beginning of the next chapter.

Thanks for the suggestion about the book. I agree, that would definitely make it a bit lighter and less abrupt.

This isn't really a Dramione - it's more action/adventure with a very eventual Draco/Hermione romance pairing. They aren't even going to meet until chapter six. :)

Thanks so much for your great review!

Aether



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Review #16, by D2Diamond Draco's Manor

19th August 2012:
You have written down what I've been thinking for a long time, it's all about genetics. This is great so far, I really look forward to the rest of the story. I have a few theories, but I want to see what you do with this. Great job, and Keep writing!

Diamond

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this first chapter. :) Thanks for the review!

Aether


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Review #17, by academica Draco's Manor

10th August 2012:
Hi again! I'm here with another requested review :)

I like the way you opened this chapter up with a newspaper article. It was neat to read Rita's take on the incident with Harry and Hermione. I would have expected to see a little more spite mingled with her reporting, especially for Hermione. However, I still think it was a neat way to begin this chapter and move into the rest of the action.

For what felt like the millionth time, Draco Malfoy was trapped. - Love the allusion here. Nice touch! I always wondered if Draco had the potential to be overtaken by his minions, and it looks like his old friend Blaise has done just that. It's also nice to see Blaise take on his own personality in your story, as opposed to him being just another of a long line of Slytherin lackeys.

The conversation with Harry and Hermione was interesting. I think the initial part about talking about Harry's feelings went on a little longer than it could have, but I liked how it showcased Hermione's determination and use of logic. The new information about Ginny is interesting, too. I still don't quite understand how this sort of behavior would cause her to be so nonchalant about Harry and Hermione's encounter, but I can see that she's erratic, and perhaps it fits in. Hopefully you'll continue to give us more detail about how she's changed in future chapters.

Ooh, I really don't like Blaise! I think it's really admirable how you've managed to keep Draco pretty close to canon thus far and have still managed to make him pitiable, at least for me. He practically looks like a protagonist next to Blaise! The poor guy just got his childhood home back and all Blaise can do is trash all over him, and then he won't even tell Draco why he is needed so badly. I'm really curious to figure it out for myself, really.

The impending dinner should be very interesting! I think you've done a great job building up to it, and overall, I was impressed by this chapter. Good job!

I hope this review is helpful :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda!

I didn't include Rita Skeeter's spite because when I envisioned the scene of her writing the article, I imagined her feeling very intimidated/threatened by Harry in his magically out-of-control state. Because you mentioned it, I'm thinking of adding a retaliation on part of Rita Skeeter later. I think Harry and Hermione are underestimating her a bit. She didn't get this far in journalism by being stupid or cowardly.

I'm glad you said that about Blaise because I'm really enjoying writing him now. In fact, I think that's why my next chapter is lagging a bit - because he's not in it. Hah, hah. I have a sadistic little side of me that likes writing his nastiness. Also, I've never liked stories where Draco is some Pureblood Prince that all the Purebloods adore. At Hogwarts, he never seemed particularly cunning to me (more insecure and spoiled), and I always imagined that Slytherins wouldn't respect him for much more than his name.

Ginny didn't worry about Harry and Hermione's kiss because she really doesn't think they'd ever get together. Harry and Hermione have been friends for a long time, and there's never been any chemistry between them, as far as Ginny's concerned. Also, Ginny's acting, as you said, erratic, so she doesn't linger on it. More about Ginny will be revealed later, and I hope things make a bit more sense at that time.

The truth is that Blaise himself doesn't know exactly what The Department wants Draco for. His whole "Minister of Magic" spiel is just an educated guess (could be right... or not...). *evil author's laugh*

Thanks for the review! As always, I really appreciate your invaluable feedback. :)

Aether


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Review #18, by petrificus totalus Draco's Manor

10th August 2012:
I am really excited to see how this story develops! The premise is really unique; Muggle science to save the pure bloods is quite a great idea. Can't wait to keep reading! :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying this. I've spent way too much time wondering about ways in which science and magic could combine... naturally, I needed a Hermione-centric story to do it. I'm working on the next chapter now! :) Thank you for taking the time to leave a review!

Aether

Aether


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Review #19, by GreenMe Draco's Manor

5th August 2012:
I think your story is quite interesting. I have to admit that I always question why nobody ever took genetics in accounting, so CONGRATS! I do hope you develop the concept further.

*

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm working on the next chapter now, and genetics is definitely going to come up. I'm so glad you're enjoying it. :) I know I'm combining two seemingly unrelated concepts - science and Dramione, but I hope they both make sense together in the end. Thank you so much for your review!

Aether


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Review #20, by granger_ Draco's Manor

2nd August 2012:
Yay can't wait for the next chapter finally some dramione
action haha I think you did a great job on this chapter and I
love the way you write harry's and Hermione's characters
update soon X

Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear you say that. Dramione action will be soon. I'm working on the next chapter now. :)

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Review #21, by academica Sleeper

1st August 2012:
Hi there! I'm here with another requested review :)

This chapter was interesting in terms of the dynamic between the "good side" and the "bad side" narratives. I liked that you kept things fresh by switching between them, and it made the length of the chapter seem shorter and improved the flow.

Pamela's story is absolutely heartbreaking! I can just imagine her, sitting in the ballroom in her pretty dress and wondering where the heck her letter is. I also like that you brought in Narcissa and used her to expose Pamela's true identity. I'm a little confused about what's going on with Narcissa, though - it sounds like the Malfoys lost their house to the Ministry as a result of the war, but did Narcissa leave Lucius? Did he die? Maybe you're going to reveal that story in later chapters.

I think you did a good job with characterization here, too. I especially like Narcissa and Hermione. Again, the dynamic of their dueling personalities helped the flow of the sections at Grimmauld Place.
I also like the "bad guys" - I think Draco and Blaise were both done well, and I could definitely feel the fear that poor Healer White went through here.

I didn't spot too much technical errors here, so that's great. One notable mistake, though, is that Blaise's surname is Zabini, not Zambini. Overall, I'm impressed. Great work, and as always, I hope this review is helpful :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: I was actually a bit hesitant to switch between the good guys/bad guys so much, but I'm glad you thought it improved the flow. I will definitely keep that in mind for future chapters.

I'm really happy that you like Pamela. It's hard to write convincing OCs, and I worry about making her a Mary Sue character. She's a not all that brave/adventurous, so I'm hoping that rounds her off a bit and makes up for the fact that she's athletic and smart. Ah, well, she's not that central to the story, so I'm not too concerned.

As far as Narcissa goes, well, I'm in shock now. I just checked Lexicon, and I was really surprised that JKR apparently said in an interview that Lucius Malfoy was excused for his crimes in the second war. How is that fair to all the people he tortured and killed? And why would Harry vouch for that slippery man, who would just as quickly stab him in the back? Hmmm. I will have to go back and think about that more. Maybe he'll have been killed by an angry relative of one of the people he murdered. Oh, gosh, this complicates things. Thanks for pointing it out, though.

Yeah, Narcissa is just about everything Hermione hates in a woman, all wrapped together in a beautiful and cold package. Hah, hah. Narcissa is the perfect pureblood lady, and Hermione's definitely not.

I'm glad you like Blaise and Draco. I've thought a lot about their characters and their dynamics together. I can't believe I messed up the Zambini part. My beta caught that in an earlier chapter, and I sometimes slip up still when I'm writing.

Thank you so much for your review - as always, very helpful!

Aether



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Review #22, by bookworm530 Draco's Manor

1st August 2012:
Yeah for updates! Dinner with the Malfoys should be quite interesting...can't believe it took 6 chapters to get Draco and Hermione in the same room...don't leave us hanging for much longer. Update soon : )

Author's Response: I know, six chapters! :) My characters and the general plot are equally important to this story, though. Thanks for the review!

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Review #23, by megthechef43 Sleeper

31st July 2012:
Aether,

I really like this chapter. I think it had a lot of good information. I think Harry giving the Black house to Narcissa could really happen. I think her snotty attitude was perfect. I hope you continue to write. I really like where this is headed but I can't wait for some Draco/Hermione time. ;)

Until next time...

Megthechef43

Author's Response: Hi Megthechef! I'm glad you like this chapter. I was hesitant about Harry giving Narcissa the house, but it's important for later scenes. I'm glad you thought that was realistic! The next update will be out either today or tomorrow. Expect Hermione and Draco to finally meet in in the epic chapter 6. :) Thanks for leaving a review!

Aether


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Review #24, by bookworm530 Sleeper

29th July 2012:
Very intense... bravo!! I am interested to see where this genetics study is going and why Harry's powers were going out of control. I hope to see Draco save Hermione from the hit on her...4 chapters and no interaction from the "couple"...gonna keep us hanging?? Update soon!!

Author's Response: The genetics and Harry's power fluctuation will be revealed in the course of this story. I might do a whole 'interlude' chapter of Hermione explaining all the technicalities of genetics to a Pureblood. This would make it so people who don't like that sort of technical stuff can skip it, and people who want to see my scientific reasoning behind it can read it.

Hah, hah. I'm sorry about that! This story so far is more action/adventure than romance. I'm not being very thoughtful right now of Dramione fans. However, Draco and Hermione will finally meet in the sixth chapter. Hermione needed a few chapters to start accepting that Ron's broken up with her, anyway. Plus, I didn't want to dive too far into the story in the first chapter. I wanted to set up The Department, Draco's mission, and Hermione's new goal without confusing readers too much.

Thanks so much for your review! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying this story! My next chapter has gone to my beta's capable hands, and I'll hopefully have it up by later this week. :)

Aether


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Review #25, by xsecretangelxx Sleeper

29th July 2012:
Let me just say that this story is one of the best I've read, and I've read a lot. I really do love it. Like's James Bond meets Harry Potter. I'll be keeping an eye on on this story.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! I think there's definitely a 007 vibe at times. Hah hah. Though, I wasn't necessarily thinking of that when I was writing it. Next chapter should be out soon. Thanks for the review!

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