Reading Reviews for Spectre
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Haunted

9th July 2014:
Hey Amanda!

Wow, wow, wow, I have no words, Amanda, no words for this amazing thing! I really loved how much you focused on your description in this, especially in the first part with you talked about them physically as that seems to be what binds them together, not words, but raw physical emotion. The use of italics in this was really good and added another split perspective to Remus in this and how it seemed to be his inner most thoughts and really what he felt. Another thing I really loved was Remus as I thought you wrote him spot on and just got all of his emotions exactly how they should be, the birth scene is what really stood out for me there as you wouldnít expect him to be jealous but he was and it was just shocking you didnít know what to do. I want to say more but time is of the essence but I really loved this!

House Cup 2014 Review & Educational Decree #5

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Review #2, by TenthWeasley Haunted

3rd August 2012:
Oh my goodness, Amanda. Oh my goodness. How have I not read this sooner? This... gah. Oh my goodness.

I used to squawk at the very idea of Remus/Sirius, but now (I think largely with Missy's enthusiasm for them!) I've really come not only to enjoy the pairing, but even to see a bit of sense in it. This is by far one of the most canon Remus/Sirius fics I've ever read, and I don't believe for a second that this even could be, yes, plausible, behind the scenes. You've got a masterful way of wrapping canon into your own events, and I've got such appreciation for authors who have the ability to do that!

I absolutely adore the connection in Remus's mind between Sirius and Tonks, bittersweet though it is -- she does love him, and he loves the idea of her as being a Black descendant, and having one of his own in Teddy. That's brilliant, so brilliant, and I never, ever thought of it like that before. (I'm kind of in a pleasant state of shock right now.)

One of the most amazing things about this story, and really, all of your stories I've read, is your incredible capacity to get your readers to feel what your characters are feeling. The opening paragraph actually made me both hot and cold, and the ending -- I still have shivers skittering up my arms and shoulders from that battle scene. It's incredibly, beautifully tragic that Remus saw himself fighting alongside Sirius, in the end. That's gorgeous, and I love that, and I am seriously so impressed by it.

Your descriptions too were lovely, as they always, always are. There is a very distinct reason I've favorited you as an author, because it takes a lot for me to do that -- I don't put a lot of people on that list. You can turn a phrase and make it both elegant and intelligent, all while winding allusions in amongst the poetry, too. I have lots of emotions right now and don't know how to make sense of them.

Gorgeous, gorgeous story -- I'm beyond pleased that I got the opportunity to read it. What an awesome gift! ♥ SO well-done!

Author's Response: Ohmygahhh. All the feels. ALL OF THEM.

Missy is the reason I can try to write Remus/Sirius. Really and truly, she is such an inspiration. I couldn't believe how I devoured her Wolfstar stories, and I really tried (and hopefully sort of succeeded) in emulating her style with this story. She liked it, so evidently I didn't do too shabbily :) Canon and I have this sort of pseudo-love affair, in the sense that I love AU as much as anyone but also like to be able to return to flirting with canon, too.

I was trying to get into Remus's head and figure out why he would give in to Tonks. I mean, he's in this state of shock over Dumbledore, and she seemed to have stronger feelings for him than he did in return, and their whole relationship just seemed very much less than ideal. The idea just sort of came to me that maybe he wanted to try to resurrect Sirius within her, something that I found plausible whether they were just friends or something more. I'm happy that you felt like it made sense and worked okay here.

You're super sweet. I'm so flattered by how affected you were by the opening and closing scenes. As a writer, you obviously want those to count, so your reaction was lovely to see!

Ahh. I may well die of flattery. Thank youuu!

You're so lovely. Thank you, thank you again.


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Review #3, by Debra20 Haunted

16th July 2012:
Hey there!

I can't seem to be getting enough of your stories. There's something drawing me back to your Author's Page time and time again. I'm glad that there is still plenty to read and review from your wonderful collection of stories.

Ok. I am going to sound like a broken record here I presume, but I can't say anything other than: I loved it! Every single word. Every tiny image. Every little feeling that secured my yearning for more Sirius/Lupin. I sincerely don't know how you manage to pull it off time and time again but your stories are so full of substance. I am sure that like some of the great classic novels out there, one lecture is not enough to penetrate their deeper meaning. The first read is only for familiarisation with the characters, the set up. Only after the second, third read and on can you truly reach to value it at its full potential. I wish I could do that one day. To have at least half of your talent with words :)

A very very touching piece it was indeed. Very poetical style. So much, that some phrases were a bit long for me to follow at times but I am assuming that that is specific to the way you chose to write the story.

I have never really considered reading Sirius/Lupin as a ship. When I first read your summary my first thought was that your approach would be closer to the friendship/brotherly love they shared. I can't say I'm disappointed at how it turned out though! It's very new and not entirely impossible. In any case, either as a pair or just friends, this little piece showed the intensity of their love. In less than 2000 words you uncovered wounds that sadly would have never healed for Remus, had he lived. Either as lovers, or just friends, the bond between them was too deep and too strong to have been restored once broken. It's sad to say this, but in a way, they are better off dead. The pain would have been too terrible to go on without any of the Marauders by his side in his future life.

Excellent read!

Author's Response: Hi! It's so nice to see you here again :)

Wow, it seems like your compliments get bigger and bigger with each review! I'm sure I don't deserve such high praise, but thank you all the same! I'd like to think that my stories are thought-provoking, or at the very least enjoyable, and it's great that you had that sense.

Lengthy phrasing is something I've been trying to work on - it's been pointed out to me now both in my fics and in my reports at work, so definitely an area of needed improvement! I'm glad that you still enjoyed the imagery-driven style here, though.

Sirius/Remus is sort of new for me, too. I wrote this for a friend who absolutely adores them, and while I could never measure up to her talent with this ship, I'd like to think it's sort of reminiscent of her style. After writing this, I feel like a romantic relationship could have existed there alongside a brotherly one. I usually think of James as being the "brother" figure for Remus and Sirius, though, really. I agree that things are probably best as they ended - both Sirius and Remus deserved some peace, and hopefully they got it.

Thanks for this very kind review :)


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Review #4, by Jchrissy Haunted

12th July 2012:
Okay, what I find most difficult about Remus is the fact that he detest himself so much, and he's not a coward. So, he can't detest himself enough to end his life, because I believe if he really wanted to he would. Or maybe he feels like he deserves to stay alive and miserable?

You have balanced that line between detesting himself but not enough to end his own life, perfectly. You turned Tonks into a way to strengthen your piece, when usually her presence weakness Remus/Sirius stories. Her being so unaware of Remus's love, was sad yet realistic.

Your imagery made this story very real, I loved imagining every scene.

Tonks is his last tie to Remus.. now that is a new twist I have never read, and I am amazed at the simplicity of that, and you really made me believe it.

I do think Remus truly loved Tonks, but I also think that they were destine for destruction. The last of the the Marauders falls... ;(.

Wonderful story, Amanda! Sorry this review was mainly gush!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for coming by this story, too! (By the way, 'mainly gush' is never a bad thing! Haha.)

Yep, that's sort of how I see Remus - I don't know if he would ever have the nerve to end his life, perhaps because he feels like he needs to keep suffering, for whatever reason. (I kind of hate that I can't ever find a happy!Remus fic that isn't set in the Marauder era, but I get why. I never write him happy as an adult either. It just can't seem to work.)

I'm also glad that Remus/Tonks worked within this for you. It was hard to fit it in there, but I didn't want to just throw her aside and pretend like she didn't exist (sort of like I have to do with James in Snape/Lily stories). I think she deserves a lot of credit in this imagined universe, where she acknowledges that she might be 'second choice' and still loves Remus despite his confusing feelings.

Thank you so much for this lovely review :)


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Review #5, by Arithmancy_Wiz Haunted

11th July 2012:
I am totally not just reviewing this because I requested a review in your thread. I actually read this yesterday as part of the TGS review a new story challenge. I promise, I'm not trying to butter you up :)

I'm usually not a big fan of angst but there are some really wonderful bits of imagery in this piece. †I particularly like the bit about the sheets and the embracing in bed as teens. Instead of being sexual, it just feels intimate. A subtle but effective difference, romantic feelings aside.

The line about it not being Sirius's baby was also very wrenching. It was a really raw, almost uncomfortable moment that leant an otherwise more poetic piece a grounded sence of messy reality.

The only bit of CC I would offer is that some of the lines felt like you as the narrator where "qualifying" them, weakening there impact, or using extra words that makes it feel like there is someone telling us the reader what is going on instead of seeing it for ourselves. I'll use the opening paragraph as an example of what I mean.

"Sweat glues the hair atop the man's forehead to his face." People don't really think in such formal ways. "The man was drenched in sweat" or "The man's hair clung to his sweat-soaked brow." If I was actually watching this happen, that's more the language my brain would use. Or take "Then he turns over again, ripping the bedclothes from his frail body, and flees into sleep to escape what now feels like hellfire." I love the imagery here. Using sleep to escape the hellfire. But the "what now feels like" weakens the impact a bit. Just "to escape the hellfire" would also work. To me, "what now feels like" fells like your input as a narrator, not what Remus is thinking, and that puts up a barrier between me the reader and your character. There is nothing wrong with the sentences you wrote and I'm not picking on them. I just wanted to offer an example of what I meant. Obviously your style is full of imagery and I love that. I just find the more lyrical a piece is, the more you have to work at connecting your audience to it.

Overall, it's a really lovely piece and I've been meaning to read and review it for ages. So glad I did. Thanks for sharing it :)

And sorry about any weird coding stuff. I'm doing this on my iPad.

Author's Response: Hi! I really appreciate you stopping by!

Oh, man, that's a huge compliment - I really tried to go for 'intimate' there instead of purely physical. To make it too sexual would have cheapened it, I think, and I'm glad that it didn't seem that way to you. Whew!

The Remus/Tonks portion of this piece was hard - again, I didn't want to cheapen it by just letting Remus blindly love Sirius and ignore Tonks, and yet I wanted to pull it into my general theme of Remus/Sirius. I think in that moment with the name, Remus sort of realized just how much Sirius had visibly impacted him. Maybe he was even a bit scared, and that's why he lashed out there.

I think you've given me some great CC. My style does tend to gravitate toward imagery, because that's what I love about the work done by my favorite authors and that's what I usually get complimented on. Sometimes my sentences do come out a bit ungainly, though, and the last thing I would want is to sound like I'm 'trying too hard', if that makes sense. I'll definitely keep your comments in mind.

Thanks so much for this kind review :)


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Review #6, by caoty Haunted

9th June 2012:
Wow. This is... fantastic. I love your characterisation of Remus here, and I think the pace of the story - that constant frantic struggle between dreams and reality coupled with the longer moments of visiting the Potters' grave and the birth of Teddy - works well in supporting that. They mesh well together, is what I mean.

I especially, especially love this line:

She can never know just how truly selfish he is.

Because of course Remus would think himself selfish. And of course he'd act selfishly and hate himself for it.

And now I have nothing constructive to say, and I'm fairly certain all this gushing does not make sense, so I hope that this was an ego boost for you at the very least and that you get constructive, non-fannish reviews. Well done. 10/10, and all that.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

I'm really glad that the pacing and flow of this worked for you, and that you felt like I characterized Remus well. I have this habit with one-shots of just kind of writing what comes to mind and then doing sparse editing at the end before I submit it, so I'm always a little worried that the flow will be imperfect.

Yes, that's exactly how I picture Remus, self-deprecating to a fault. It's his defense mechanism to keep people away, and ironically, I think it's what draws fanfiction writers to him. Like Snape and Sirius, for some people, he begs to be 'fixed'.

Hey, I don't think there is ever anything wrong with leaving a gushy review, as long as it's sincere. You should just say what you want to say when you review, you know? Thanks so much for all of your lovely compliments! :)


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Review #7, by Aderyn Haunted

9th June 2012:

This is really a wonderful piece. I'm very impressed by your writing talents :)

Normally, I have to say, I don't tend to like Remus/Sirius pieces, just because it seems hard to account for Tonks, later on, however here, you don't just ignore that issue, you use it to make your story stronger and more powerful. Your reasoning for why he married her, and for Teddy's name, seems to explain it all perfectly.

Your style of writing in this story adds an emotional layer that is really heart breaking. The imagery of the veil, and of the transformation really helps create those emotions. And the repetition of that imagery also adds structure to this piece.

Overall, I'm very glad I was able to read this! You did a wonderful job!

I really enjoyed reading this.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for stopping over here!

Yep, it was a little dicey to fit Tonks in there, but I did feel like it needed to be done. Like you said, I tried to think how she would fit into this ship and what would have made it so that Remus gave into her desire for marriage. I'm very glad that she worked well for you.

The imagery of the veil was powerful, and it was one of the earliest parts of the concept for this piece. I really love writing imagery, and although it was challenging here, I'm glad the final product helped to augment the story.

Thanks again for your lovely review :)


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Review #8, by Violet Gryfindor Haunted

9th June 2012:
It's been very hard to come up with a coherent review. The best way I can define this story is to call it a "heart ripper-outer", which is many levels beyond "tear-jerker" - instead of pushing one to tears, it physically hurts around that region of the chest where the heart is. This kind of story makes me feel so empty inside. And what's scary is that, to me, that feeling is what makes this an exceptional story.

Remus is a hard character to write because he bleeds angst, and the challenge is keeping him from going overboard - this story contains the perfect amount of depth, revealing Remus's extraordinary suffering without making it too much for the reader to handle. It suits him that he finds hope/happiness in those final moments of his life - he has use, then. He's free from his curse - two curses, actually, one being Sirius. I also like that you have him love Tonks for herself as well as for the glimmer of Sirius in her eyes. That description of her standing confident was fantastic - it may have only been a single line, but it had a lot of power to it, perhaps because her outward performance of the hero is countered (or is it enhanced) by her nervous smile. There's a great care to your descriptions in this story - even more than usual - that adds considerably to its high quality.

There were many times while reading this that I felt it could be easily mistaken for Missy's writing. You must have gone through her stories with a fine-tooth comb, unless you and her are telepathically linked (which would surprise me less :P). She writes Remus in a special way, and you've captured that here, making for a beautiful piece of writing.

Once again, you've outdone yourself. Please publish your work someday because you've got great talent that the world should not miss out on. ^_^

Author's Response: You know, Missy had a similar reaction, and to hear that my angst was that powerful really makes me beam -cuddles angst-

Oh, gosh, he DOES. In canon, my heart just hurt for him pretty much from the first day I met him, because I know how hard it can be to be the new teacher at school. As his troubles grew exponentially, so did my compassion for him. I think that's the part of this ship that I used to spur on this piece - Sirius deals with his trauma in such a different way, by brushing it off and being humorous. I think they could have really helped one another tap into different forms of coping.

Tonks was one of the toughest and most interesting parts of this for me. I certainly didn't want to just leave her out like she doesn't exist, but I also didn't want her to just be the girl that Remus settled for. She's got her own strength, not even to speak of the strength it takes to stand by a hurting man.

Wow, that's a huge compliment. (And one of the reasons why this just kind of had to go into Reviews That Made Your Day, even though all of your reviews should go there.) You're super sweet, as always. Thank you!


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Review #9, by WeasleyTwins Haunted

3rd June 2012:
Hello, WeasleyTwins here with your requested review! I would like to apologize for the slight delay.

Okay, so right to it then. If you're worried about your writing doing the ship justice, I definitely think that you have /nothing/ to worry about. Your style is fantastic. The long, intricate sentences are very lovely and seem to suit your style quite nicely.

In response to the flow of the story, I absolutely enjoyed it. The descriptions really emphasize Remus's struggle to command both the past and present as separate entities, but he never quite accomplishes that. It's interesting to witness how the past truly never leaves him and he is forced to contend with it in his present. I found it to be very classy and an excellent usage of that particular technique.

I found that the flow compliments your characterization of Remus perfectly. He's so torn between what he knew and what he knows now - I would have sworn it was canon, you wrote it so convincingly. I like how you've reminded us in subtly about Remus's condition without over-emphasizing the point. Honestly, I really don't have anything else to say about your characterization other than the fact that it was well-executed and complimented your descriptions and the emotion of the story. Oh, speaking of the emotion. God, it was fabulous. I'm a terribly ridiculous fan of angst and you've given me such a good wonderful bucketful. It was amazing, like eating a chocolate cake (because angst tastes just like chocolate, don't you know) :P I found it interesting that you've given us this sense of...well, I thought it was all rather Faulknerian. The past plays such an important role in the present and one never truly escapes the sins of the past, but at the same time we are so bombarded with all these emotions. It's so Faulkner, but a milder (and more manageable) version.

Your imagery is brilliant as well. My favorite part is probably the first section. He was so twisted in the sheets of the bed and yet so entangled in his memories, it was all very surreal. I felt almost as if I was Remus. You really brought the imagery away from the page and actually into the mind of the reader.

I honestly don't have any CC (and I usually do), but this was really good! I didn't see any discrepancies that needed pointing out. I think this is a fabulous oneshot!


Author's Response: Hello, and thank you for stopping by! I apologize that it's taken me a while to respond to this.

It's great that you liked the flow and felt like the writing style and imagery were effective. I've never written this ship before, and the person I wrote this story for is fairly legendary when it comes to Remus/Sirius, and so I really wanted to get it right for her. (She wrote me a wonderful Snily piece, and it was the least I could do to attempt her OTP in return.)

Angst does taste like chocolate! (Delicious, addictive, wonderfully rich chocolate.) I agree that Remus is probably the perfect character for exploring the theme of the past melding with the present, of never really being able to escape one's sins, and I'm so pleased that it worked well for you here. As for the imagery, the description in that first section was my favorite to write, and I'm happy that you really felt drawn into it and thought that it did something to make the piece more effective.

Thanks again so much for your kind review :)


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Review #10, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Haunted

30th May 2012:
Hello! Dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap here with your requested review. I'm very excited to read this. I haven't read any slash in awhile. You wanted to know about: believability, characterization, emotion, flow and imagery. Just so you know I do a running review and then tend to wrap everything up in the end. Hope that's okay with you!

So...let's get started!

Every autumn breeze that leaks into his drafty, dank flat feels like winter itself creeping into his veins, and the sensation causes him to toss and turn with what appear to be convulsions. Then he turns over again, ripping the bedclothes from his frail body, and flees into sleep to escape what now feels like hellfire.

Woah. You really want me to critique this? How can I? Your imagery is just on point. It's really impressive. I can imagine the flat. I imagine it beyond what you tell us, grey walls, scuffed floors, paint chips falling to the floor from the ceiling. That's what I see when I read 'drafty drank flat.' Your description and your imagery just makes the reader go above and beyond.

He grasps at the sheet, pulling it around him as he attempts to climb out of his feverish dream. He twists his body up in it, and in his delirium he believes that he can still smell his former roommate in the fabric. The scent of canine lingers, and it almost seems to become stronger with time, though he has never minded it. The two of them had that unpopular stench in common.

If I hadn't looked at the summary I wouldn't have known this was Sirius/Remus pairing. I normally never do look at the summary when doing review request because I try to go into the review without having any prior knowledge on what Iím reading.

The pairing has always interested me. Do I think they would have been together? No. Do I think so after reading your story? Yes. You were worried if it was believable and I have to say by the small pieces of information you gave us I think it could have been possible. I think about the pain Remus must have been in. The loneliness because he really didn't want to harm anyone by being in a relationship with them and the fact that he hadn't wanted to marry Tonks and he didn't want to have Teddy (at first). Then I think of how excited he was to see Sirius again. He just knew. He had been going over it in his head for such a long time and never quite understood how Sirius could have betrayed Lily and James.

Does that mean they had a deeper connection together? Maybe.

I think I got a little off track but my point was that I like how you don't say outright who we're thinking about and whose thoughts weíre getting a look into. You really donít know definitely until the 'canine' scent you weave into the paragraph. I like that because it creates mystery and if youíre not reading carefully or skimming the words you won't get the connection. I'm all about connections.

It is painful to be around her sometimes, when he really pauses to consider that she is the closest thing to Sirius that he can touch and that she has inherited her cousinís disregard for the rules.

"Do you think I'll see him again? You know, with Mum and Dad?"

I have to, Remus thinks, forgetting for a moment that it is Harry who asked the question.

The emotion is there as well. Tears were ready to fall from my eyes when I read 'I have to.' That's extremely believable and heart breaking because Remus is in this situation where his life is just consumed by thoughts of Sirius. He's in this marriage because Tonks reminded Remus of Sirius, they had a connection. And then when he says 'I have to,' it just shows how deeply invested he is with Sirius and I think that's how many of us feel when a loved one dies and we have to explain it to someone else. A lot of people tend to generally ask, 'Do you think they're in a better place?' And what are you going to say? No? No, you're going to say 'Yes. I have to think so,' because you want them to be even if they can't be with you.

Really powerful one-shot. I can't critique anything so I'm just going to end this with a 'thank you for requesting.'

- Deeds

Author's Response: Hi, and thanks for coming by! I apologize that my response has taken a while. I really love how organized and in-depth your review is, and I've been known to use the 'running review' style myself.

I'm glad the imagery and pairing both worked for you. I think it's neat that you purposefully avoid the summary so as to get a 'blind' opinion of the story, and it makes me happy to hear that you still felt like you understood and 'bought' the pairing here. I'm very glad as well to hear that the indirect way I wrote this and the description seemed effective to you.

It's also lovely to hear that you liked the emotion. I found myself feeling emotional when I was writing the piece, and it only got worse the further I got into it! I agree - no one wants to believe that they won't one day be reunited with their loved ones in a good place, happy to stay together for all eternity.

Thanks again for your very kind review :)


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Review #11, by Remus Haunted

29th May 2012:
Hey! Perelandra here from the forums!

This piece was fantastic! The only thing I noticed were that you called the Healer 'doctors'.

What I would've liked to see is Remus' feelings towards Tonks. It felt to me that he just married her just for her relationship to Sirius and not because he cared for her. Was there love between the two of them? Or Remus not wanting to be alone?

Other than that, this was a great one-shot. I love the detail you bring into this chapter. The imagery was great as well.


P.S. Sorry for the short review. I'm at work right now pretending I'm listening to my manager rant while typing this review...oops. Haha.

Author's Response: Hello, and thank you for coming by! I apologize that my response has taken a little while.

Ooh, nice catch. Maybe I'll have to go back and edit that later. Thanks for pointing it out!

I can definitely see what you're saying about Remus/Tonks. I really wanted the focus of this piece to be Remus/Sirius, but I did think a little about it afterwards, and I perhaps could have talked more about the Remus/Tonks ship, too, just to give some more context to their relationship in this strange situation.

Thanks for your very kind review! :)


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Review #12, by xxstaindrosesxx Haunted

29th May 2012:
To me, you have definitely captured just how broody Remus can be. I always imagined him as the broody type, even back at Hogwarts, due to his little furry problem.

I love how you depicted his loss of Sirius and turned it into something more due to past situations that occurred between the two.

I also never thought of Tonks as being the type to remind Remus of Sirius. That was a very nice added touch to the story, and definitely believable.

Overall, I enjoyed this one-shot and was glad I read it. By the way, this is the only Sirius/Remus I have read!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for coming by!

Wow, if this is the only R/S you've ever read, I'm doubly flattered by your compliments. Thanks! I definitely picture Remus as being very broody, and I'm glad you could appreciate the way I let it spread across his relationships with Sirius and Tonks.

Thanks for your kind review! :)


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Review #13, by Aether Haunted

29th May 2012:
Beautiful one-shot. The description here is just fantastic! It really put me in the mindset of where Remus is, mentally. I thought there could have been more description of setting mixed in with Remus's thoughts. But I can see that maybe a lack of setting pulls the reader closer to Remus's mindset - he is lost in his thoughts and memories of Sirius and out of contact with the world around him.

The flow is great! I love how I was able to read straight through, without stopping. Remus's emotion was believable, as was his character. I feel that all AU ships require a certain amount of suspension of disbelief, especially when it involves changing a character's sexuality. However, I think you wrote this well. I don't think that, short of providing several chapters with a long, winding backstory, you could make Remus's relationship with Sirius more believable. For a one-shot, I could definitely feel Remus's relationship with Sirius was real. Great job! I really enjoyed this one-shot.


Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for coming by, and I apologize that my response has taken a little while.

I can see where you're coming from about the setting. Sometimes I find that my imagery just flows in a stream of consciousness fashion, such that I really don't know where it's taking me, but I probably could have focused it in a little more on the actual house. I'm glad you still found it effective, though.

It's great that you found the relationship and emotions believable and that you liked the flow of the story. This is my first time attempting to write this ship, and I really wanted to do it justice, so I appreciate your feedback.

Thanks again for your very kind review :)


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Review #14, by IWouldMarryHarryIfICould Haunted

28th May 2012:
The story got better the farther in I went. The beginning was a little shaky, but I really liked the ending.

Thanks for a paying a little more tribute to Remus' death, the last Marauder, which was never paid in full.

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm sorry the start to this story didn't work so well for you, but I'm glad you were enjoying it by the end. I agree that Remus never really got the recognition he deserved, and I'm glad I was able to make up for it a little for you.

Thanks for your kind review :)


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Review #15, by Moonyxluna Haunted

25th May 2012:
Hi! Here with your requested review :) I'm going to work at keeping this a tad more professional than "oh my god one of my favorite authors writing my favorite character!"-- But we'll see if I can manage. :p

Right away you set the stage with such a lovely introduction of Remus waking up alone with subtle reminders of Sirius. As with all of your writing, your Imagery is unbelievable. You just have the way of painting such a vivid feeling with the visions you give the reader, and it shows here.

The moment at James and Lily's graves really, for me, was the defining moment of setting the emotion of the piece. This, I think more than the beginning, set in place how alone in the world Remus was left after the loss of his friends. That sense of loss, for me, is one of his defining characteristics and it was good to see that come through here.

I must tell you.. Remus/Tonks is my otp; so take my opinions on the Tonks part with that in mind. For the sake of the Remus/Sirius ship, the idea of Remus' thoughts being accidentally (more or less an accident) on Sirius, even on such an important day, was a very interesting and beautiful way to highlight the history the pair shared.-- Going back to your concerns, I think this moment (along with the grave part) made the ship believable. Now, personally my little Remus/Tonks heart is screaming "No! No!" but you've made it believable to even me, so fantastic work there. Remus' characterization really shined through here with the worry about Teddy being like him, and I think the birth of his son was a defining moment for him in the way you wrote it.

And, the final battle. The one thing I would have liked to see is a bit more of a reaction when he realizes Tonks came anyway. Even if it is forced through his thoughts of Sirius, I think something, even if it is just about Teddy, a little bit more is needed. It could even go back to the 'living for the moment' in the fact that she had to join him, reminding him again of Sirius. Of course, just an opinion, in the end it's up to you. :) I liked Harry here-- it was a small bit of that childhood that JKR shows at the moment of the stone peeking it's way through. Otherwise, I thought the ending was a very beautiful way to bring the story full circle in him 'picturing' Sirius dueling next to him.

Honestly though, I thought this was fantastic. I had been meaning to read this when I first noticed you posted it, but life has been a little insane this week so I was happy when you requested it! I know this probably wasn't very helpful, but it was truly an enjoyable read. Thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for coming by, and I apologize that my response has taken a while.

That graveyard scene was one of the original inspirations for the piece. Months ago, when I first got this plunny, it was a little different; I had wanted Remus to take Sirius to the Potters' grave so that Sirius could properly say goodbye to his friend (since he was tied up in legal proceedings shortly after the murders). I'm very happy that you found it so moving.

I actually requested specifically from you because I know you love Remus/Tonks and I knew I could count on you to give me honest feedback on that aspect of this story :D That said, it really means a lot to me that you still found it effective. I know how hard it can be to take my 'OTP Goggles' off and really critically evaluate a story that separates the members of my favorite ship, so I sincerely appreciate you giving this a shot for me.

I think you make a valid point about the final battle. Although this piece was focused on Remus and Sirius, I did have lingering feelings after writing it that maybe I should have focused a little more on the Remus/Tonks ship as well. Perhaps that's a project for another day, you know? Thanks for your feedback.

Your compliments, as always, really warm my heart. Thanks again for your very kind review :)


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Review #16, by ScorpiusRose17 Haunted

23rd May 2012:
Hi there!

I am here with your review request.

I really liked the story. I thought it was wonderfully written and that the characters and ship you were writing about worked well and were believable. At first when I read this I was confused about the Dante's fated lovers bit, but then I got to the end and saw your note. Makes sense now, but not knowing about it before made it a bit confusing for me.

I thought the characterization was well done. I liked seeing Remus like this. Even though it is a pained feeling it is also reflective. It brought out the emotions really well. I also thought that the description was powerful and well done in a way that doesn't overwhelm the story line.

The flow of the story was smooth. I didn't see anything that caused confusion between the transitions. The imagery that you used in the story was really mind evoking. I really enjoyed how it brought to life Remus' thoughts and feelings towards everyone in his life.

Overall, I thought that the story was brilliant. You did a wonderful job characterizing Remus. The other characters played more of a subtle role, but contributed well in the story line itself. The description was beautiful and well balanced. I loved the imagery. I didn't see anything in this story that I didn't truly like. I did find your reference confusing at first, but that is more than likely me and not the story.

Keep up the awesome writing! =)

Thanks for requesting and I hope that this is somewhat helpful.


Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Hello! I appreciate you coming by, and I apologize that my response has taken a while.

I'm sorry the fated lovers comment confused you. I always wonder if I should put an author's note at the beginning or end of a chapter, and while they usually wind up at the end, maybe this would have been a good case to put it at the beginning. Thanks for letting me know, and I'm glad the explanation helped you grasp the idea a bit better. (I sometimes forget that not everyone is as big a fan of Dante as I am! Haha.)

I'm really glad that the imagery and emotion worked for you and didn't seem too overpowering. This piece was very challenging for me, and I really enjoyed writing it, but I was worried at times that I was pushing it too hard, so it's great that you didn't feel that. I'm also happy that the flow worked okay - whenever I do breaks in a story, I wonder if the action has been interrupted awkwardly, and so I'm pleased that you found it smooth.

Thanks so much for your very kind review :)


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Review #17, by forsakenphoenix Haunted

22nd May 2012:
Everything I love about fanfiction wrapped in one pretty present for me? I love it. There's something to be said about fics that make me feel, that makes the ache in my chest expand with each word, that make me contemplative and sad - it's the best sort of angst. Remus is the perfect character for that angst, and I think you did a fantastic job exploiting his pain in a way that made the reader connect with him and his losses.

I think my favorite part was the beginning. The imagery was wonderful, especially the bit about skin giving way to fur. It was such a vivid picture, the hot and cold, and that repetition throughout the fic really reinforced that image in my head. Plus, the idea of Sirius sitting with him days before the full moon, giving him some comfort, it reflects a lot on their relationship. Perfect.

The part with Tonks, how part of him wanted to be with her because she was his last tie to Sirius, that made me sad, but there's a part of me as a Remus/Sirius shipper that believes in that ideal so wholeheartedly it should be illegal. His worry about Teddy being like him was so in-character and the relief he must have felt was tangible.

This was just perfect, and thank you for writing it. You've written my perfect Remus - all his angst and loss and bitter contemplations. It's everything I want in his character. I guess my only complaint is I wish there was more!

Thank you for this - it's wonderful, as are you.

Author's Response: Okay, yes, I have been avoiding responding to this review because I really don't know what to say. If I could just insert a photo of myself jumping around and squealing with delight, that would be the reaction I really intend to show. Oh, well, I'll try my best :)

I'm so glad my angst brought on the feels. I agree, angst is best when it punches you in the gut and drags you in with its emotion.

Ooh, it's great that you liked the imagery. I definitely wanted to use the canine theme, because Remus and Sirius clearly have commonalities there, and I wanted to try to allude to the transformation without literally having to write it, almost like I was writing it as Remus would experience it.

I'm glad the Tonks parts worked for you, too. I was worried that I was pushing it a little with my interpretation, but I didn't want to shove her out of the picture. I do think Remus's awkward, disjointed view of his son is very interesting, which is why I couldn't resist including it here.

You're far too kind - I suppose the only way I'll ever come close to achieving your level of Wolfstar mastery will be to practice. Maybe I'll return to Remus/Sirius in the future.

Thanks for this amazing review! :)


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Review #18, by Lisa Haunted

22nd May 2012:
I really like your story. If I understand correctly - you've dedicated this to forsakenphoenix - I'm a huge fan of their work and your story reminds me of their style. Remus/Sirius is my favourite pairing and I think you did a great job of showing Remus' pain of loosing Sirius and living a lie with Tonks. I think you should write something else with them - this one gave me goose bumps!

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for coming by, and I'm sorry I've taken so long to get around to review responses.

Missy is a genius, especially when it comes to Remus/Sirius. For you to say that my work reminds you of hers signifies to me that my ultimate goal in writing this has been fulfilled. I may indeed come back to this later if I am inspired, perhaps from Sirius's perspective.

Thanks for your very kind review :)


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Review #19, by BoOkWoRm24 Haunted

21st May 2012:
Requested Review:

Alright so I'm going to be honest. When I first read your request I was a tadd skeptical. Remus and Sirius were never two people that I would pair. However given that I think that you've written this ship quite well. You made me believe that it might actually happen, and at the same time you stayed completely to the cannon. For all I knew this could have been going on behind everything, and we just never found out because Harry never found out.

I liked your characterization of Remus. Everything he felt seemed very realistic. I liked how you put him with Tonks because he wanted to be near Sirius. That seemed like him. You also incorperated a good amount of self loathing in there and that it him.

The one part I was unclear about on was whether Tonks knew about him and Sirius or whether she just knew that they were exceptionally good friends. This came about when she offered to name the baby after Sirius.

Other than that one bit of confusion the entire thing was virtually errorless. I didn't see anything wrong with grammar/spelling, flow and pacing were perect, everything was perfect.

Anyway keep up the good work :)


Author's Response: Hi! I'm sorry this response has taken ages!

It's so great that you found this believable. It was tough for me to write this, because Remus/Sirius isn't one of my favorite ships, and I felt like I had big shoes to fill, trying to write a story like the ones Missy had written. For you to say that it could fit into canon totally makes my day. Thank you so much!

I'm glad the characterization and plot worked well for you. You make a good point about Tonks -- I only meant to allude to their friendship, but I can see how it could be confusing. Thanks for pointing that out.

I appreciate your very kind review :)


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Review #20, by DracoFerret11 Haunted

20th May 2012:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you! :D So, let's go over things:

First of all...just, wow. I think this was absolutely beautifully written. You did a terrific job. We'll go over individual parts now, okay?

Characterization: I loved how you portrayed Remus. I think he was just the right mix of hope and despair. He was so lost, and I think that's an essential part of his character that people tend to forget. Great job.

Descriptions: Your imagery was absolutely gorgeous. I reread some parts just to revel in it. Your descriptions were so wonderful. They really, REALLY brought the story to life. I always know when I'm in-tune with a story when the voice in my head reads in a certain tone, and this was one of those times. Great job.

Emotions: Well, I mentioned this in the "descriptions" category, but I'll talk about it again--GREAT job. Seriously (no pun intended), I could feel the love that Remus had for Sirius and how conflicted he felt. His pain was very realistic. I think you wrote it wonderfully.

Style: Your writing-style in and of itself is great. I think it was perfect for the story you were trying to tell. You grabbed an idea and pulled it into yourself and really, really brought it to life through your stylistic choices. I applaud you.

Flow: I think this was also quite wonderful. There were a couple of times where I had to re-read to figure out where we were/what was happening, but I figured it out eventually. If you want to read through the story, maybe you can spot those few places that need clarification, but even if you don't, the story works well.

Again, great job. You really made the ship believable. I liked it a lot. :D


Author's Response: Hi Emily! Thanks for coming by, and I apologize that my response took so long. I really appreciate you leaving such a detailed and well-organized review :)

I can only take so much credit for the characterization, because Remus was inspired heavily by the author for whom I wrote this. Her Remus is so perfect, and if mine is even a shadow of that, I'm incredibly flattered. I've thought about trying my hand at her Sirius as well, when I get some time and some nerve!

I'm also happy that the description and emotion worked well for you. I haven't always believed in this ship, and it's not one of my top ones, so I felt like I had to work hard to make it believable for me. (Again, forsakenphoenix does this effortlessly.)

I'm sorry some places were confusing for you, but I'm very glad you liked the piece as a whole. Thanks so much for your very kind review! :)


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