Hey :) I'm here from the Review Tag!
This was really good one shot, a really different perspective on Alice. I think you pulled off her mental instability well and this was their first meeting, right? I'm really curious now to see where their relationship goes from here.
Your characterisation of Lily was great- she seems like a brilliant friend to Alice and just how I've always imagined her.
This was wonderful to read :) Amazing job!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Hello! Here from Review Tag!
I thought this story was really sweet, and it was definitely an unorthodox way to describe Frank and Alice's first meeting. I loved the ending, where Alice found a shred of comfort in Frank. I felt so terrible for her otherwise, you know? I also really liked Lily -- I liked how you made her smart and level-headed, because that's kind of how I think of her at times, too. And she's definitely a good friend.
This was short, but really good. Nice work! :)
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Thanks! I loved writing this thing and I'm glad it's good :) Report Review
This was a really emotional one shot. It's sad to think about Alice's mentality being so unable even before she was tortured, and it made me curious as to how she managed to become such a wonderful Auror with how dramatic these night terrors seemed.
I liked the idea of Frank not knowing a ton about Alice at this point, it makes it fun to wonder how they ended up together.
I think you did a good job with Lily, giving her the caring need to help her friend. She did seem a bit open with Frank about it, and it seems odd because I'm sure it's not something Alice wants everyone to know, but I guess she figured he could be necessary to get Alice back to her dorm.
I really liked the emotion you put into this, at really created a strong tension that made me want to just help poor Alice.Author's Response: Thank you! I really loved writing this because Alice/Frank wasn't something I'd ever written before, and I thought that maybe there was something stronger than just boy-meets-girl-and-falls-in-love bringing them together.
So, for Lily being open about it... first off, I think night terrors needed to be explained at that point, since not a lot of people know what they are. Also, I think Lily just wanted Frank to know that Alice didn't have any control over them, they were just something that happened and she wasn't crazy.
Thank you for reviewing :) Report Review
Hi there! I'm here from the review tag with your review!
This is a brilliant one-shot, where you capture a very sensitive issue very well. I don't understand why is hasn't been reviewed before, because it really is a great display of writing, and you managed to address a very sentitive issue, without making it too horrible or too disturbing.
I loved how you explained night terrors at the start. It needed to be done, but it also set the reader up for the story, which is always a good thing to do.
Your opening lines were great at drawing the reader in, they held my attention and made me want to continue reading (which is what great opening lines are supposed to do).
I loved how all your sentences and paragraphs were short. It conveyed the tension in the story very well. Everything was start - stop - start - stop, which is a really effective way of protraying tension or confusion/a mystery in a story. Very well done, I thought that was absolutely brilliant.
I must say, I LOVED this line:
"but not staring at Frank. Staring through Frank, at something he couldn't see."
- it just captured the situation perfectly and the way you phrased it was spot on!
I loved the ending too, it was very nice, and after a tough-going fic (in terms of the sensitive issue theme) is was a great way to end it, sort of a nice, sweet ending, and just makes you feel happy or at least up-beat at the end - a great touch!
I loved how you captured Lily too, she was so kind and thoughtful and the way she coped with the situation was just so Lily, she does all she could to help. Even little details like correcting Frank when he said dream instead of terror were great additions in terms of characterisation, so well done there too!
I don't know what else to tell you. This is a beautifully written story, that deals with a sensitive issue extremely well. Do not be disheartened by the lack of reviews, because I think this is brilliant all around! Congratulations on a very moving, very sad, but also very nice fic! :-)Author's Response: Thank you!!! Now I feel all warm and fluffly inside :)
I loved writing this from the start. It was for a challenge, and I saw the quote I was supposed to be basing it off of and just thought of night terrors, mostly because my brother has them occasionally.
I did have to research them, though, because I knew very little about them except you can't remember anything when you wake up - it was fun learning about it :)
I guess I never really thought about my opening lines - I never really thought about the quality of this fic in general because, well, nobody reviewed it, so when it was done, it just fell into the back corners of my mind... but now I love it again :) And with the sentences, I just naturally write things like that for one-shots - I think it adds to the effect.
I love that line too, but in reality, I can imagine it would be quite scary to have someone stare through you - seems weird, but I do love that line.
I love writing Lily. She is a great character, but I think she is usually characterized as hot-headed and nothing else. She was a prefect too, and Head Girl, and I don't think she would have become those things if she was always hexing James - she would've had to get detention some time. So I really love showing that other side of her - the friend side, instead of the angry-red-head-with-wand side.
Thank you so much for the brilliant review - you're awesome! Report Review
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