Could the school you refer to as LADS in the story possibly be Cheltenham Ladies? The "sea of green" uniforms totally reminded me of CLC...
It's a really good first attempt at a story! I especially like how you are very descriptive, using lots of adjectives which really add depth to the plot. One small thing to bear in mind is to be consistent throughout your work - if you start by indicating speech with a single apostrophe ('), then you should ideally not switch to double quotation marks later on ("). Also, maybe think about the presentation of your writing - it may seem silly, but uncapitalised starts of sentences and proper nouns can easily look quite sloppy and detract from your work!
Keep writing :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for your comments xx
It's not clc although lots of girls at the school I'm talking about have siblings there, Including my best friend. Thank you so much for the comments though I will really keep them in mind x Report Review
I really like it, your character is surprisingly likeable--I usually hate characters that describe every detail of what they wear. This says it's a one-shot, bit it doesn't feel like one--if it's meant to be, please expand it into a real story, if not, just fix that. Your writing stly is really nice and I like your pace. Please update soon and maybe make chapters longer in the future.Author's Response: Thank you xx I was just putting that chapter up to see what everyone thought of my writing and they will be longer in the future. i've added the next chapter although it's not very long because I just wanted to have a new chapter for them being on the hogwarts express xx thanks for reviewing xx Report Review
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