Reading Reviews for Losing Alice.
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jenna Black Run.

11th August 2012:
Hi, I just read this and i wanted you to know that this story is really good and interesting!
Please update soon! :D

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Review #2, by UnluckyStar57 Run.

26th June 2012:
It doesn't suck. Don't ever apologize for your writing, okay? It's an accomplishment to actually sit down and write a chapter, then edit and revise, and post it on a public archive. This is your baby, so to speak, and you should definitely be proud of it!

Okay, enough rambling...

In my opinion, this chapter was very good. It developed the relationship between Alice and the Wotters a little more, and opened the door for some new relationships, too!

Some CC I have: Watch for apostrophes and capitalization. You left out a few apostrophes in the beginning, and sometimes you didn't capitalize things that should be capitalized (i.e. Great Hall, Astronomy Tower, Prince Charming).
Also, after the DADA lesson, where one of the characters was saying "Black Lake?", I was confused about whether they were out of class, or if it was a week later or something. You might want to put a transition sentence in there somewhere, just so that everything's all clear. :)

That's all I have. This is a lovely story, and I honestly can't wait to read more about Albus' role in Alice's life. (I also like how both of their names can be shortened to "Al.") :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the CC! I'll edit the rest of my upcoming chapters, so I can get it right. :)

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Review #3, by UnluckyStar57 All alone.

26th June 2012:
Amelia is... creepy!!! I'm a little scared of her... Okay, a LOT scared! Her appearance in the story was just right, and it was just enough to keep me interested. Well done!

This continues to be a great story!! I'm glad I found it! :)

Author's Response: Thanks! Amelia freaks me out too, haha.

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Review #4, by UnluckyStar57 The beginning.

26th June 2012:
There was nothing TO be mean about!! :)

Lovely beginning. I love your introduction of her family, and then how you took her parents away, though it made me sad. :(

I can't wait to find out more of these suspicious voices... Reading on! :)

Author's Response: Ah, thank you!

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Review #5, by Leela Run.

14th June 2012:
I like it. She's... well, I like her. You write very well. Is her brother still so resentful for leaving him behind? Is that the only reason they fell out and still aren't 'normal' with each other after all these years?
I thought the friendship with Dominique and Rose was moving a bit fast. And then the group of Slytherins -it's all a bit rushed and well, all of a sudden she's got friends: what changed? Why now?
I like it, though. I wonder about Al -why he doesn't like her. Can't be just because she's different, right?
I feel like something bad is going to happen. Something to push her over the edge. What's with the dreams and the voices? I'm really intrigued. Great story!

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, her brother doesn't get over things really well, and I guess he just hated how he was the younger and didn't know his mum like she did.

That's the part that I didn't like about writing this chapter- the fast friendships. :x Although it does get explained in the next chapter (I think) As well as the Slytherin's.

Al is a bit complicated, really. It all gets explained soon (I think, haha)

OOH check out the next couple of chapters and sees what happened. ;)

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Review #6, by hetty All alone.

26th May 2012:
Why doesn't this story have more reviews?! But onto the actual review. This chapter didn't let me down - it was as good...maybe even better than the last chapter! I love Alice but I can't help but feel sorry for her with the voices and Albus being so mean although i like Rose and I wonder why she's asked Alice to be her friend? But I'm sure we'll find out about that in later chapters and I can't wait for it!

Author's Response: Asdfghjkl, thank you! in the next couple of chapters, everything starts to make sense.

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Review #7, by hetty The beginning.

26th May 2012:
I'm actually a bit blown away by this first chapter. The way you portrayed Alice's emotions towards everything that's happened in her life so far was just amazing and so descriptive!

This is your first fic? Wow, that really surprised me, you're a really good writer! I'm definitely favouriting this and now I'm off to review the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah it's my first time and I'm glad someone likes my fic. c:

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Review #8, by Cavell All alone.

26th May 2012:
I'm going to have a goal - to review every single chapter on this story, because it really is so good for your first one. Mine, personally, was rather.. meh. Albus is mean ^-^ which for some reason makes me laugh. I'm not used to him rude, but you pull it off well. Your chapters are a bit short, but since it's your first and this was really good, I'll overlook it. Update soon, please?

Author's Response: Thanks, and I'm sure yours wasn't that bad! yeah they get a bit longer than usual in the next couple of chapters, and chapter 3 is already written up and I'm just editing it now. c:

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Review #9, by Echogirl All alone.

25th May 2012:
I'm terrible at reviews, so sorry that it's now a very good one... Anyways, really great story, can't wait to read more about the voices.

Author's Response: thanks! that means a lot.

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Review #10, by Cavell The beginning.

22nd May 2012:
Wow, this was such a bittersweet and sad start to the story, I feel so sorry for Alice and her brother, losing their mother at such a young age, but I really loved this, even if it's only the beginning. It's a great start, and I really like it so far, update soon, please? *hopeful smile*

Author's Response: Thanks! Second chapter is in the queue now! :D

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