Review Tag!

I do enjoy reading these short stories of yourself as they usually provide a snippet of someone's thoughts, this one being Harry's.

I did think Harry was slightly over-dramatic in his musings over Ginny and Dean in this story as compared to canon, but I guess that's acceptable =)

I quite liked this overall. Your narrative was written nicely which was in a way thought-processes flow. The emotions of jealousy and bitterness that Harry felt towards Ginny and Dean were nicely highlighted as well. I liked your scene descriptions too.

All in all, this made for a good read.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Yes I really like getting into someone's thoughts, especially in my oneshots to kind of give it that little bit more. I like to think that Harry is pretty torn apart by Ginny and Dean being together especially when he knows that they've been fighting and such. He just wants to be there for Ginny and be the all around good guy for her. I'm so glad you enjoyed my descriptions and the pretty much the whole oneshot! It really means a lot to hear that, so thanks! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Really good! A little short though.
Keep working on it!

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed it! It was meant to be short as it was an entry for the every word counts challenge! Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Heya! Perelandra here with your 3rd review! :)

Ugh, the only thing I disliked about this is that its too short! Haha! why?! I was enjoying reading about Harry being tortured for not having Ginny!

XD

Overall, this was a well-written one-shot. While it was short, you were able to bring his jealousy and the anger he felt towards himself for not noticing with very few words. I seriously could relate to him and his thoughts since I was that way in high school...wishing and praying that the guy I liked and his girl would break up. His preoccupation about how to deal with the Weasley clan made me laugh. At first he was worried about Ron and then it felt like "forget about it, I can take them all if I have to" just to be with Ginny. Loved it!

Ron and Hermione arguing brought another layer to this story, really. Sometimes, when people write in First POV they forget to write about what is going on around their character. They describe what they're feeling/thinking but never the surroundings and what is going on around them. By adding the argument Ron and Hermione were having, you were able to make a great scene that I could picture in my head just perfectly well. So kudos to you! :D

Other than that...I believe that's it! I'm still grumbling about it being too short! XD

--Rosie

Author's Response: yeah this was meant to be a short oneshot an entry for the every word counts challenge and I'm so glad that it does exactly what i wanted it to! I wanted people to feel bad for Harry in that he wants Ginny and has to suffer watching her and Dean together and isn't able to tell her how he feels. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Okay, being in Harry's head is so different than reading him from third person!

He's never very honest with his friends when something is upsetting him, and he doesn't face his emotions all that well, so seeing such an open side to him was a lot of fun!

I think I would have liked a bit of resistance at the beginning, him feeling the jealousy maybe while those two just talked, then once they kissed he was done pretending like he didn't like her and he was getting into the full jealous mode. But that's the only thing about it that kind of caused me to take a second look.

I think this was a very well written one shot, and such a rare look at this time in Harry's life! I love that he wasn't even thinking about her brothers, because then and there all he wanted was to be with her.

I also like that (I'm pretty sure) the argument revolved around Harry that Dean and Ginny were having. It added another dimension the the story.

Great job!

Jami

Author's Response: Yes the argument was about Harry as i believe most between Dean and Ginny really were. I thought it would be interesting to do a oneshot from his pov while Ginny and Dean are together and this sorta come from that idea. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~

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This was an interesting event to take a look at. A significant moment to a degree for both Harry and Ginny. Harry realizing that he wants Ginny but can't have her after so many years of Ginny wanting him but seeming to be over him. SEEMING.

I like Ron and Hermione being in there and squabbling. It always brings a smile to my face thinking of those two (yes, yes, sounds strange coming from a Dramione-shipper but even I know that Ron and Hermione are canon).

Harry's thoughts did seem a bit formal to me, like when he's thinking of wishing unhappiness on them and his regret over that. It's still got Harry in the way he's self-sacrificing and regretful but it's also got more of a formal tone to it all.

I admire the fact that you can write in 1st person. I find it hard myself and for you to do so and pull of a good story (which also didn't have any grammatical or spelling errors) is something to respect!

xChar

Author's Response: Yes this idea came to me and I'm so glad that you liked it! I feel bad for harry in this moment since he realises that he might not be able to have her now that he does want her. yes I'm a dramione shipper two but Ron and Hermione's squabbling does bring a smile to my face as well! I have a hard time writing in anything but 1st person so I admire those who can write in anything other than 1st! thanks so much for readnig and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Hello there :)

Awww! I love Harry/Ginny, and it was so cute how he was jealous :D It's so sweet, a bit of Harry being care-free before he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. My only complaint is that it's short :(

And Ron and Hermione arguing- that of course has to be in there. They're always arguing about something or the other, right?

Great job!

~Sara

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you enjoyed this oneshot from Harry's pov I was nervous as I have never written anything from his pov and I'm glad people are liking it! Yes those two are always arguing about something! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Hey :)

Alright first off I don't really read a Harry/Ginny story...tbh I try to stay away from Hogwarts Era but I gave this a go and I wasn't disappointed.

I love how you captured Harry's jealousy and the way he notices everything (I mean most boys don't tend to pay attention unless they are interested).

I also like Ron and Hermione's bickering. Got to love those :)

I kind of wish this was longer but congrats for making it exactly 500 words!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you think i did a good job with harry's jealousy and the bits of Ron and Hermione bickering! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Ohh, poor Harry! I felt rather bad for him through a lot of the sixth book -- jealousy is never a fun emotion -- and I think that you've managed to capture that really well here! The tone was the right amounts of wistful and bitter, and quite realistic emotions, too. I'm not a huge Harry/Ginny fan in general, and yet in a scenario like this one, I've got to root for them. :)

And I loved the Ron/Hermione bickering sprinkled in there -- that's a firm grounding in canon, which is enjoyable to see! Knowing Hermione's got pretty much the same jealous elements, too, those little mentions tugged at my heart strings. I just love entries for this challenge, and yours is no exception. You did a really good job with this! Props for getting this out in exactly 500 words, too! ♥

Author's Response: Your reviews make my day Jane! Thank you so much for looking this one over for me! I'm glad you liked it and felt bad for Harry! I'm not a huge Harry/Ginny fan either but I'm glad that I've got people rooting for them in this! i couldnt help but add in the small mentions of ron and Hermione bickering! Thank so much for this review!

~Slytherinchica08~

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