Reading Reviews for Just Another Night
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 Just Another Night

12th July 2014:
Hahaha, I enjoyed the fact that you delved into the uglier side of the raging monster in Harry's chest from his sixth year. :) You really displayed all of the jealousy and anger that he was feeling in the books when he found out about Ginny and Dean. Except in this story, he seems to have admitted to himself that he felt things for her that were not... brotherly feelings. It's funny to read about jealous!Harry. :D

I think you did a great job with this. Not only with showing the emotions, but also with setting the scene and describing everyone's actions. Ron and Hermione are at it again? Not surprising at all! :)

Great one-shot!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #2, by Veritaserum27 Just Another Night

11th July 2014:
Hello!

Nice job conveying a typical teenage boy's angst. I think it is great to write little snippets of Harry acting like a normal teenager. So much of his young life was filled with losing loved ones, fighting pure evil and plotting to overthrow dark wizards that we forget, deep down, he was only sixteen or seventeen through most of it. I really love Harry and Ginny and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Ron and Hermione are arguing. But SOME things never change. You did a nice job on the characterization - with Ginny's stern look. That one small moment showed that Ginny wasn't extremely happy being with Dean AND that Harry knew Ginny's disposition really well. Nice job!

House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #3, by Pretense Of Perfection Just Another Night

10th July 2014:
I really like this one-shot. It's just a simple glimpse at a few moments in Harry's life, but it is passionate and fierce, just like him. Especially for it being your first time, I think you did a great job writing from Harry's POV. I always imagined him thinking things like this when he saw Ginny and Dean kissing, and I can imagine he might have felt bad about it later when they broke up, even if he was still happy because now he got a chance with her, if that makes any sense. I like how you featured Ron and Hermione as well, and even though they weren't a prominent part of the story, I think you kept them pretty well in character. A fight between them and Hermione storming off? Classic. I really like the title you chose, and I think it fights in quite nicely with the story, especially since you managed to work it into the last sentence. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors or anything like that, so good job there too!!

--house cup 2014 review--
pretense of perfection, gryffindor

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Review #4, by DracoFerret11 Just Another Night

7th July 2014:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I'm currently working on rereading LAWKI, but I decided to pop by and check this out since it seemed applicable to the first few chapters of that novel as well. So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: I did notice several grammar errors, mostly with commas and apostrophes. I think a read-through would help you to catch those, but if you'd like me to point any of them out, I can do that too. :)

Plot: I do like that this sort of connects to the beginning of LAWKI. You wrote from Harry's perspective well, especially for a first attempt. I don't know if I would ever be bold enough to try to write for him. I think most of the story and Harry's emotions were believable.

Characterization & Emotions: You captured the jealousy that we see in Harry in "Half-Blood Prince" really well. I could definitely see it. There were a few places where I questioned him, though, such as him wanting Ginny and Dean to be miserable. That INCLUDES Ginny, and even at his most jealous and sad, I can't imagine Harry wanting Ginny to be miserable. A few lines after that, he even says he wants her to always be happy...so that was a bit contradictory. I would also have liked to see some other emotion besides anger/jealousy. Maybe regret or disappointment or even sadness would work, but as is, he was a bit one-dimensional.

Descriptions: I would love to have more details about how the common room and the characters look, sound, smell, feel, etc. Those concrete descriptions can really bring a story to life.

Interactions: I thought it was a bit odd that Ginny and Dean made up so quickly after their brief fight. Ginny always seemed too headstrong to me to just let something like that go. I can imagine her getting annoyed at his suspicion or jealousy and storming off, but the fact that she just let it go was a bit strange.

Overall, I liked the atmosphere of the story and think you did a good job writing for Harry. Well done and good luck to Hufflepuff in the House Cup!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #5, by SereneChaos Just Another Night

7th July 2014:
Poor Harry! I think one of my favorite parts of this story is the little snippets of Ginny and Dean's argument and the way they apologize. Harry has so little information about what they're fighting about, but it reads as if you can see the whole argument from start to finish, down to the apologetic smile. It's perfect. I think Harry's voice here is a little different from how I'd expect him to think. It feels a little too eloquent, I think, to be something a 16 year old teen would have in mind. Maybe toning that down, and adding in some phrases (angry ones towards Dean, maybe?) would help show how jealous Harry feels about the couple. Overall though, for the number of words used here, this was a great story! Thanks for sharing it!

House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #6, by teh tarik Just Another Night

15th July 2013:
I always love stories with Harry's POV in them, but unfortunately, there are so few of them! Which is strange, seeing as the whole series pretty much revolves around Harry...what makes your story even better is that it's set during Hogwarts era, and is thus a missing moment.

I love how you focused on Harry's jealousy and attraction toward Ginny. I'm not a fan of this ship (I really like Ginny/Dean haha), but this was a story I enjoyed a lot. I really like how you showed us a fragment of Harry's thoughts, and of course, his perpetual worry about VOldemort and how he fears for her safety, which is why he doesn't make a move on her. That's so Harry, selfless to the end, and it's a quality I really really like about him, and am so glad you chose to bring this up in the story.

The ending is a little sad, but of course, we know that he's going to end up with her anyway, which makes things a little better. Great work! This was a lovely and very short read!

-teh

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm really glad that you liked my look into a missing moment from Hogwarts!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #7, by adluvshp Just Another Night

3rd January 2013:
Review Tag!

I do enjoy reading these short stories of yourself as they usually provide a snippet of someone's thoughts, this one being Harry's.

I did think Harry was slightly over-dramatic in his musings over Ginny and Dean in this story as compared to canon, but I guess that's acceptable =)

I quite liked this overall. Your narrative was written nicely which was in a way thought-processes flow. The emotions of jealousy and bitterness that Harry felt towards Ginny and Dean were nicely highlighted as well. I liked your scene descriptions too.

All in all, this made for a good read.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Yes I really like getting into someone's thoughts, especially in my oneshots to kind of give it that little bit more. I like to think that Harry is pretty torn apart by Ginny and Dean being together especially when he knows that they've been fighting and such. He just wants to be there for Ginny and be the all around good guy for her. I'm so glad you enjoyed my descriptions and the pretty much the whole oneshot! It really means a lot to hear that, so thanks! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #8, by Phoenix_feather123 Just Another Night

15th October 2012:
Really good! A little short though.
Keep working on it!

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed it! It was meant to be short as it was an entry for the every word counts challenge! Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #9, by Remus Just Another Night

8th September 2012:
Heya! Perelandra here with your 3rd review! :)

Ugh, the only thing I disliked about this is that its too short! Haha! why?! I was enjoying reading about Harry being tortured for not having Ginny!

XD

Overall, this was a well-written one-shot. While it was short, you were able to bring his jealousy and the anger he felt towards himself for not noticing with very few words. I seriously could relate to him and his thoughts since I was that way in high school...wishing and praying that the guy I liked and his girl would break up. His preoccupation about how to deal with the Weasley clan made me laugh. At first he was worried about Ron and then it felt like "forget about it, I can take them all if I have to" just to be with Ginny. Loved it!

Ron and Hermione arguing brought another layer to this story, really. Sometimes, when people write in First POV they forget to write about what is going on around their character. They describe what they're feeling/thinking but never the surroundings and what is going on around them. By adding the argument Ron and Hermione were having, you were able to make a great scene that I could picture in my head just perfectly well. So kudos to you! :D

Other than that...I believe that's it! I'm still grumbling about it being too short! XD

--Rosie

Author's Response: yeah this was meant to be a short oneshot an entry for the every word counts challenge and I'm so glad that it does exactly what i wanted it to! I wanted people to feel bad for Harry in that he wants Ginny and has to suffer watching her and Dean together and isn't able to tell her how he feels. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #10, by Jchrissy Just Another Night

21st August 2012:
Okay, being in Harry's head is so different than reading him from third person!

He's never very honest with his friends when something is upsetting him, and he doesn't face his emotions all that well, so seeing such an open side to him was a lot of fun!

I think I would have liked a bit of resistance at the beginning, him feeling the jealousy maybe while those two just talked, then once they kissed he was done pretending like he didn't like her and he was getting into the full jealous mode. But that's the only thing about it that kind of caused me to take a second look.

I think this was a very well written one shot, and such a rare look at this time in Harry's life! I love that he wasn't even thinking about her brothers, because then and there all he wanted was to be with her.

I also like that (I'm pretty sure) the argument revolved around Harry that Dean and Ginny were having. It added another dimension the the story.

Great job!

Jami

Author's Response: Yes the argument was about Harry as i believe most between Dean and Ginny really were. I thought it would be interesting to do a oneshot from his pov while Ginny and Dean are together and this sorta come from that idea. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #11, by charlottetrips Just Another Night

19th May 2012:
This was an interesting event to take a look at. A significant moment to a degree for both Harry and Ginny. Harry realizing that he wants Ginny but can't have her after so many years of Ginny wanting him but seeming to be over him. SEEMING.

I like Ron and Hermione being in there and squabbling. It always brings a smile to my face thinking of those two (yes, yes, sounds strange coming from a Dramione-shipper but even I know that Ron and Hermione are canon).

Harry's thoughts did seem a bit formal to me, like when he's thinking of wishing unhappiness on them and his regret over that. It's still got Harry in the way he's self-sacrificing and regretful but it's also got more of a formal tone to it all.

I admire the fact that you can write in 1st person. I find it hard myself and for you to do so and pull of a good story (which also didn't have any grammatical or spelling errors) is something to respect!

xChar

Author's Response: Yes this idea came to me and I'm so glad that you liked it! I feel bad for harry in this moment since he realises that he might not be able to have her now that he does want her. yes I'm a dramione shipper two but Ron and Hermione's squabbling does bring a smile to my face as well! I have a hard time writing in anything but 1st person so I admire those who can write in anything other than 1st! thanks so much for readnig and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #12, by ginnypotter242 Just Another Night

19th May 2012:
Hello there :)

Awww! I love Harry/Ginny, and it was so cute how he was jealous :D It's so sweet, a bit of Harry being care-free before he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. My only complaint is that it's short :(

And Ron and Hermione arguing- that of course has to be in there. They're always arguing about something or the other, right?

Great job!

~Sara

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you enjoyed this oneshot from Harry's pov I was nervous as I have never written anything from his pov and I'm glad people are liking it! Yes those two are always arguing about something! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #13, by LyrisLovegood Just Another Night

15th May 2012:
Hey :)

Alright first off I don't really read a Harry/Ginny story...tbh I try to stay away from Hogwarts Era but I gave this a go and I wasn't disappointed.

I love how you captured Harry's jealousy and the way he notices everything (I mean most boys don't tend to pay attention unless they are interested).

I also like Ron and Hermione's bickering. Got to love those :)

I kind of wish this was longer but congrats for making it exactly 500 words!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you think i did a good job with harry's jealousy and the bits of Ron and Hermione bickering! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #14, by TenthWeasley Just Another Night

8th May 2012:
Ohh, poor Harry! I felt rather bad for him through a lot of the sixth book -- jealousy is never a fun emotion -- and I think that you've managed to capture that really well here! The tone was the right amounts of wistful and bitter, and quite realistic emotions, too. I'm not a huge Harry/Ginny fan in general, and yet in a scenario like this one, I've got to root for them. :)

And I loved the Ron/Hermione bickering sprinkled in there -- that's a firm grounding in canon, which is enjoyable to see! Knowing Hermione's got pretty much the same jealous elements, too, those little mentions tugged at my heart strings. I just love entries for this challenge, and yours is no exception. You did a really good job with this! Props for getting this out in exactly 500 words, too! ♥

Author's Response: Your reviews make my day Jane! Thank you so much for looking this one over for me! I'm glad you liked it and felt bad for Harry! I'm not a huge Harry/Ginny fan either but I'm glad that I've got people rooting for them in this! i couldnt help but add in the small mentions of ron and Hermione bickering! Thank so much for this review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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