Oh Merlin. Please write another chapter right now, so I can read it. I'm hooked on this story and I want to know what happen next with Lysander's parents and with his love for Albus! I'm happy Scorpius knows, though. Now Lysander at least has someone to help him get through everything! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: I'll write the chapter within a day or two, and it'll probably be validated in a week! So excited that you like it! Report Review
Oh my god. Amazing cliffhanger. Time for the next chapter! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: These review make my day, although I have to warn you that "Never Be Sorry" is more of a filler, but it gets better from there! Report Review
I love this story so far! Lysander's character is awesome, and this is just such a fun story to read! Fantastic job so far! 10/10
Cassie :) Report Review
I think the summary to this really drew me in--not your usual love triangle, now is it? More like a love... chain? Or something like that. xD
I think you're off to a great start here--the first objective of any story, really, is to have a sort of allure that draws readers in, and you've nailed it! One thing I think you should improve is the pacing. It might just be me, but I think some of it goes by way too quickly, whereas in other areas it seems like we're getting an information overload. I remember when I first started out writing, a constant bit of advice that I received was to flesh out the details and descriptions, and also to try weaving the details into the story in a more subtle way.
For example, in the part where you introduced Sadya, instead of giving us a whole chunk of information to digest, you could say how Lysander was jealous when Al tucked a strand of black-with-abit-of-blue-or-was-it-red hair behind her ear or something. You know what I mean. xD Basically, show, and not tell--I think with a few minor tweaks it'll be much better in no time. ^___^
I liked how you made Luna a Divination professor, and the twin dynamic between Lysander and Lorcan would be an interesting thing to see develop, so good job on that front!
Overall, it was pretty interesting to read the developments of this chapter, and what made it even more unique was that this wasn't your usual Al/OC either. I think I'd be interested to read more about Lysander and Al!
~Chocolate_FrogAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your review! Yeah, I've always had a problem with exposition, and I will try to take your advice and put it into the later chapters. Report Review
All I gotta say is good job and it's a *loo, not lou.Author's Response: ARGH MY COMPUTER SOMETIMES DOES AUTOCORRECT! Sorry!
Oh, and thanks! Report Review
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