Reading Reviews for Chasing Lightning
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Ariana

11th July 2014:

I really liked the whole toxic and destructive feel this story had as it just worked so well. It was even apparent in your description of how Gellert kissed Ariana and that was really great. I probably should get onto why I liked it and that was because it acted as a great warning for what was about to happen and how the two of them could never really be together and I really liked that element of it.

Another reason why I liked it was because it tied in well with Gellerts cool and cold characterisation and how he really was emotionless and uncaring. It was just so powerful to see how that characteristic of his was shown here too. You broke him with her death though and I really liked that you gave him that chance to open up and show us that he wasnt this inhumane best so it was actually really poignant when he did break down. Ending it with just her name too was another really apt move and made it really powerful. Great story! ♥

House Cup 2014 Review!

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Review #2, by Pretense Of Perfection Ariana

8th July 2014:
Hi again!!

Just want to start out by saying that you have a beautiful summary for this story, and it fits quite well. And I actually wrote this part before I finished the story and saw you wanted feedback on it, so you know it made a great impression.

Personally, I like wordier stories with lots of description, and I think you painted an achingly beautiful portrait of their relationship together. The comparisons between their love and a storm were so strong and powerful.

I think you did a great job with characterization as well. I imagine Gellert as sort of cold and aloof at times, and always manipulative, and you somehow weaved his personality so beautifully into the story. I love how you incorporated his deep, inner thoughts, and the "rambling" tone that it takes strikes me as exactly as he would think, considering he must've been arrogant and thought very highly of himself.

Their doomed relationship of toxic proportions works really well in your favor as well. Even though we know this isn't canon, you offer a very different insight to the night of her death, and it really makes your readers sit and think about it, which is always a good thing.

Great job!1

---House Cup 2014 Review---
Pretense of Perfection, Gryffindor

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Review #3, by missclaire17 Ariana

19th July 2013:
Hey! It's Claire from the forums!

The way that you wrote Grindelwald is remarkable. There was a perfect furious passion that I can feel so palpable even though this was only Grindelwald reflecting on Ariana. I found that your writing here was very beautiful, especially in that part when you talked about good versus evil. The diction that you used in this entire one-shot melted perfectly into an imagery that really told me just how electric this strange form of love between Grindelwald and Ariana was. It is like Grindelwald has this very animal-like instinct to pursue Ariana but there is also this other side that sees her as so fragile and he wants at the same time, he still felt that he loved her because there couldn't have been any other person in his heart.

You did such a wonderful job of writing. I can't begin to explain how much I love the picture that you managed to paint with your words. Wonderful job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. I'm sorry for the late response.


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Review #4, by slytherinchica08 Ariana

10th December 2012:
Wow I love this! The pairing is just so different for me to read that I thought that this was just a wonderful take on their relationship. I can see it being this intense thing that never really has a medium but rather one extreme or the next. The description in this was really well done and did a great job of helping me picture the relationship bgetween the two. I feel so bad for him that he really did want her but yet never really had her, I mean he did, but not in the way that he really wanted her. It so sad to know also that he was there when she died. I thought this was a great oneshot! Great Job!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking time to review this! I really love minor characters and minor parings so I’m glad though this pairing is different than those you mostly read you still enjoyed it. This review made me quite giddy. I mean everyone knows he was there when he died but I always found it interesting the way you he could have viewed her dead. In this piece I made him want her/ love her (depends on what your opinion of love is ) and so her dead affected him more. So Dumbledore wasn’t the only one who lost something that day, but Dumbledore stopped his plans while he didn’t. That in my opinion says a lot about his character and helped me construct his character here. *blushes* Sorry I’m rambling.

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Review #5, by ChaosWednesday Ariana

14th September 2012:
Hey its Whiskey from Review Tag!

I enjoyed reading this very much :D You managed to build in some beautiful metaphors. This one, for example: "They merged together, a web of skin and breath, and the quiet spreads over them like hungry spiders, devouring every intention they have to speak." Although the sentence itself is a bit awkward, it successfully conveys a very striking image ;)
I must admit, thought, that I missed an explanation for their passion and any actual character insight (why would Gellert and Ariana fall in love? How does each of them deal with it? What is he like/what is she like?). But I understand that the main character here is their passion and not the two people involved, so it works nevertheless :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking time to review ( even though it was for review tag) and I'm sorry for the long wait but life has been hectic these couple of weeks.

I'm glad you thought some of my metaphors were beautiful *blush*. Thanks I'm glad you think that! I focused more on description ( and ofcourse emotion) than that.

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Review #6, by magnolia_magic Ariana

3rd September 2012:
Hi! Here from review tag!

Wow, this story is so intense! I really admire your ability to get those raw emotions across...I can feel Grindelwald's passion and bitterness and destructive love, and I love being thrust right into the middle of it all. Reading this was definitely an experience, and I'm glad this caught my eye!

I'll just go ahead and agree with your other reviewers: I loved the description, and I don't think it was too much. The vivid imagery and metaphors make the story, in my opinion. I especially love the paragraph describing Ariana as floating on Gellert's ocean of emotions, and then all the sea metaphors that follow. That part really shows a good grasp of technique that I wish I had :P

One other thing your reviewers have said that I agree with: if you write this pairing again, I'd love to see more character development. The descriptions and emotional impact were spot on and so intense, but I didn't get a sense of who Grindlewald and Ariana are as people. I loved reading this one-shot, but it could have been about anyone. Does that make sense? And for a one-shot that focuses on style and imagery, that's perfectly okay, and I think it works well here. Just something to think about for future reference :)

I think this is really well done, vivid and emotional, and you definitely have a way with words. I enjoyed reading it! Keep up the great work :)


Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing ( even though it’s from review tag)

Thanks! As a writer I always try to convey the emotions to the reader and I’m glad you could feel the feelings I tried to convey. I hope it was a positive experience ;p

Well most of the time I really focus on character development but this time I really tried to focus on description mostly ( or actually almost only). I wanted to see if I was capable of such descriptions so this was really a make or break one-shot. That’s why I said something about it in my AN because in my opinion I’ve never been a star in descriptions or metaphors ( so that’s why I focused on this). Well to be honest with you I didn’t have a pairing in mind when I was writing this but the moment I was almost done I turned it into this specific pairing, so I can see why you would say it could have been about anyone ( as that wasn’t my focus) so it makes perfectly sense to me. Thanks! I think this will be an one of a kind of story in my story list though.

Thank you!

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Review #7, by shadowycorner Ariana

5th August 2012:
I don't think the descriptions were an overkill. i actually adored them. I love your way with words and I could quote so many things from this. It was so dark and intriguing. The passion and anger and all those other emotions between the characters were perfectly laid out. The atmosphere and feel of the entire piece translated from the screen very well.

I also love the uniqueness of this piece. I chose this story because I never even thought of Gellert/Ariana before. The idea that he actually loved her puts a whole new, and more tragic, perspective on things.

Great job. Great idea and lovely writing. I'll be sure to check out your other stories :)

Author's Response: Thank you I'm glad you do! Seeing it was the first time I really focused on the descriptions instead of emotion like I usually do. I'm glad I could manage that in your opinion. Well I have a thing for dark and intriguing relationships I admit and that was the vibe I was going for.

I'm glad you thought this was unique as I always try to reach that with my stories. Well most people don't but seeing I love obscure pairings I just knew I had to write this, especially as her brother had feelings for his. It does make the story more tragic if they did had a thing. doesn't it?

Thank you so much *blushes* and I sincerely hope you will do that!

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Review #8, by CloakAuror9 Ariana

19th July 2012:
This is an interesting story! Grindelwald/Ariana, its actually not that impossible once I think about it! A great idea!

I really like the way you described Grindelwald's affection for Ariana. We don't even know that much about Grindelwald and here you are, published a story about him. Its kind of amazing, don't you think? The descriptions were really detailed and nice. The length was perfect. Not too long and not too short!

This was a really great read,
Izzy xx

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah it's not really that impossible because we know about nothing and we don't know all the sides in the whole ordeal then.

Well I'm a huge lover of minor characters and minor pairings so me choosing Grindelwald would make sense if you know that whaha. Thank you I'm glad you find that.

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Review #9, by EnchantedGhost Ariana

18th July 2012:
Well written, I just love this, I love it really :D Great story, one-shot :P i just love it ^^

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #10, by Cassius Alcinder Ariana

10th July 2012:
Here from review tag!

This was quite an interesing look at a pairing we don't really see too often. We know so little about Grindelwald from the books that it gives you so much room to exlore his character and motivations. If it were a longer story I would like to see sme more character development, but for this length of story it was just right.

The dscriptions were very well done, and definitely not overboard at all. I really painted a very effective picture of th raw emotions involved which managed to be very romantic and very creepy at the same time.

Overall a good job!

Author's Response: Hello,

Well that's why I choose him, seeing there isn't alot we know about him you have alot more freedom writing him and he seemed to be quite an interesting character.

Thank you! I'm glad you think so!

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Review #11, by xxstaindrosesxx Ariana

9th July 2012:
Well now! I have never read this pairing, or even really heard of it, probably because Rowling said Dumbledore was gay and his attractions were for Gellert. I like the concept of Gellert having feelings for Ariana, that he wanted her. It kind of brings up the concept of a possible triangle, and that the duel might have been started for other reasons. I'm not sure if that was your intention, but it is a very interesting concept to think about.

I think that your description in this story is very detailed. Although it is very descriptive, I don't think that it was an overkill, mainly due to the length. If it had been longer, then perhaps it might have become overkill, but I think for this length it was appropriate.

I'm not sure what else to say. I didn't find anything wrong with this grammatically and I liked that you ended it with just Ariana. Seemed to tie everything together nicely.

Hope this was helpful :D


Author's Response: Well doesn't it surprise me it isn't a really popular pairing you could say and that Dumbledore had attractions for him just lures me more in this pairing. Actually it was one of my many intentions after all you never know for sure.

Well thank you! I wanted to try something new, something very detailed and I agree with you had this been longer say a novel or something it would have definitely been an overkill.

It was very helpful!


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Review #12, by StormThief17 Ariana

25th June 2012:
I love your figurative language! It really manages to bring teh story to life and add a greater level of intensity to the story. I think you did a great job of converying the intense wmotions he is feeling. The only thing that I wasn't sure about were the switches between past and present tense. I'm not sure if that was supposed to be like that, or you just slipped up.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I´m glad you didn´t think it was an overkill. Well knowing me that wasn´t supposed to be like that but I will check it out later just to be sure. Thanks for pointing that out though.


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Review #13, by EverDiggory Ariana

25th June 2012:
The descriptions are definitely not an overkill. I think this was good writing, keep up the good work! Perhaps try more characterization?



Author's Response: Thank you so much! Hmmm yes there wasn´t many of that in this one. That´s because I wanted to experiment my describing skills


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Review #14, by LyrisLovegood Ariana

25th June 2012:
I really like this story!

Your descriptions were not overkill in the slightest. To be honest they were beautifully written. It's nice to read a story about Ariana and this is the first one I have come across and I have glad to have read it as it was well written.

Keep up the good work :)

Author's Response: Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I'm glad you thought so seeing I was afraid of that. Well I'm glad you got to read the chance to read something you haven't before and I hope you enjoyed it.


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Review #15, by Jchrissy Ariana

24th June 2012:
I don't think the descrition is over kill at all! If this was a short story and each chapter had this amount, then it may start to be, but for such a compelling and out of the ordinary one shot, I think it's perfect!

I like the way you show his honest, pure, real love for her, then contrast it with this need to posses, keep, take her. It's weird to think of Adriana as anymore more than that poor sister of the Dumbledore's, but what an incredible look into her you give us! The way you describe their destructive relationship, but also show how perfect it is, is such a perfect mind twist! I can imagine them fighting, screaming, then ending up in a passionate kiss. It's all very well done and flows amazingly.

The idea that after so long, he is still hurting over her, and he doesn't give much thought to Albus, is again a very new look but a wonderful one none the less.

I think this is an amazing and compelling one shot, great job!

Author's Response: Hahaha thanks I was afraid if they were an overkill as I have never described so much.

Well yeah it's Gellert I would assume his love for another would be kinda twisted. Well nobody gives Ariana much credit so that's why I chose her like you said they think she's that poor sister of the Dumbledore's.

In a way he loved her so he would give more thought to her then Albus I think haha

Thank you! I hope you enjoyed it

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Review #16, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Ariana

24th June 2012:
She had looked at him then, with a mixture of defiance, honesty, vulnerability, and an undercurrent of desire. It was a look that had set him aflame, that destroyed his soul and then brought it back to life again. It made him want more than just power. It made him want her.

^ What an interesting pairing! I have never stumbled upon anything like it before. I was intrigued when I read the summary but now after I read that section my mind was blown. I love the description, the imagery, the pure emotion. It's so open and in your face.

His desperation for her was comparative to a starved man that had spent weeks on end in the cruel desert with no food or water; he not only wanted to devour her, but he also wanted to drown in her.

I don't think it's overkill at all (I just caught a glimpse of your author's note). No way. Are you kidding me? You have a way with descriptions. I got goosebumps when you mentioned electricity and then the way he wants her, needs her. It's so wrong and twisted but yet it's lovely and sweet at the same time.

It's interesting that he blames himself for the duel that ended her life. Well, I don't want to say fully because he does mention her brother fleetingly but it's obvious the pain he feels for having lost her. It's nice to see but then it kind of brings me back to my point of his feelings for her are kind of dark and twisted because he had a hand in ending her life and ending the 'electricity' between them.

From this one-shot I would say if they had a chance to truly be together it wouldn't have worked out either way. Their relationship sounds very damaging, like they would tear the other down so there's nothing left, a shell of each person until they kind of sucked each other dry.

Fantastic job. I really enjoyed it. I wouldn't get rid of the descriptions.

Author's Response: Well I have a thing for interesting pairings actually ( which is in my mind minor pairings with most of the time really minor characters) Well I´m glad the summary had intrigued you as I was quite unsure about the summary to be honest with you I was pondering on whether to not change it.

Thanks yes its quite twisted how he wants her almost a paradox the way he feels for her. Yes I´m glad you caught that in a way he blames himself for the duel that ended her life.

I kinda agree with you. Perhaps they would have worked out together but they had a really damaging relationship.

Thanks I´m glad you didn´t find it an overkill.


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Review #17, by Miss Muggle Ariana

12th May 2012:
This is incredible! All of the emotion, all the feelings. It is beautifully written and every description is perfect. It is very original, Gellert/Ariana, but somehow I can picture it.

Author's Response: Yay first reviewer! I´m glad you liked it and can picture it

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