Reading Reviews for The Child of my Beloved
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ghostfire The Child of my Beloved

12th April 2015:
Very well written, I thoroughly enjoyed the back and forth, and the lack of dialogue. It's hard to do but you did it very well. It ended at a great spot even if selfish me wished it was longer.

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Review #2, by TreacleTart The Child of my Beloved

11th April 2015:
Hey there Molly,

I'm here from the Review the Person above you thread in the Common Room and you were the person above me. :D I was excited because I've read so much of your stuff already and enjoyed it all. I picked this story because it is one of the few fics of yours that I haven't reviewed yet.

I love the parallels you make between Snape and Sirius. In fact, I was surprised that they were almost identical in most of their thoughts, except for how their thoughts made them perceive Harry. Maybe these similarities are why they hate each other so much. They have too much in common, so it causes their personalities to clash.

I thought the characterization was spot on for both, which again was interesting because it was almost the same for both. It really makes you wonder if Snape had made a few different choices if he wouldn't have been a hero instead of this weird in between character.

It was also really nice to see how both Sirius and Snape's feelings motivated them each to protect Harry in their own way. It's something we as readers know they both end up dying to do.

At first I thought this might get confusing with the alternating paragraphs, but it was actually quite easy to follow. The two voices were different enough to distinguish who you were talking about and the italics really helped make it clear.

Great work Molly! Another excellent read!

~Kaitlin

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Review #3, by looneylizzie The Child of my Beloved

6th April 2015:
CTF - Round 3 - Jailbreak post

*Wipes tears from eyes*

Okay. Breathe. Just breathe. I'm not an emotional mess right now. Not at all.

So, I'm not much of a James/Sirus shipper or a Lily/Severus shipper, but this is an amazing little one-shot that gives me all sorts of feels.

I love the reflection in both of their thoughts, that with each paragraph you start out with the same lines, but then the words change to reflect each POV. I love that their perspectives and opinions of Harry are so different even though they both suffered the loss of the person they loved, both to someone else, and then to death.

Amazing. Just amazing. New favorite!!

Keep writing!!
LL

#themFatLadies!

Author's Response: Thank you. Lizzie! I'm pleased that you liked this little story. I'm not a big Lily/Severus fan either, so I surprised myself with this.

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Review #4, by Unicorn_Charm - Round 3 The Child of my Beloved

6th April 2015:
Hey there!! :)

Wow Molly. I am just absolutely speechless after reading this! For two characters that not only completely hate each other, but are extremely different, you did a fantastic job showing similarities between them. I've honestly never read a fic with Sirius being in love with James before, but I can totally see it after reading this.

I think my favorite part of this whole one-shot was "He has his motherís eyes and that makes me remember that he isnít his father." How it brought out such different emotions, like all of Snape's pain, because he can see Lily in him, but it reminds Sirius of the good things, because he still sees James. But with each of them, they still both felt love and happiness was unattainable. Ugh this was just so good!!

I loved this, Molly! Absolutely adored it! Excellent, fantastic work!! Thanks for sharing! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Thank you Meg for this kind review! I'm glad you liked this story! Sirius/James is acutally my headcanon, at least as from Sirius' side.
Molly


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Review #5, by proud-pied April The Child of my Beloved

29th March 2015:
In bitter grief, these dark, conflicted men,
Hold harsh regrets that cut like broken glass;
For both can see in Harryís eyes of green,
His motherís gaze; the shadows of the past.

And proud-pied April wonders if they see
How short and brutal will their future be?

Your mournful tale of hidden love and woe,
Has earned an Easter gift; this verse, for you.

Author's Response: What a lovely surprise to get an Easter gift like this!!! Thanks!!!

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Review #6, by ArtsyTigs The Child of my Beloved

25th March 2015:
Very nice and very well written! Thank you for sharing.

Author's Response: Thank you! :-)

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Review #7, by wolfgirl17 The Child of my Beloved

19th March 2015:
Hey Molly!

Wolfgirl here for our review story.

Now, I will admit that when I first opened this I though there was something amiss with the formatting and that you had somehow accidentally caused each paragraph to be posted twice only once in italics and once in regular font.

However, I persevered and realized that was not the case, only to discover what a wonderful story you have on your hands here. I was especially intrigued by the way you transitioned between Snape's POV and Sirius's. It's very fascinating to say the least.

I've never read a fic before that addressed the idea of Sirius loving James as more than a friend, and I think you really captured Snape's longing for Lily in a way that is so realistic you've left me breathless.

I did just notice one little typo at the end in the last two sentences:

"He is Jamesís child, the child of the man I loved. I will watch over him and protect him and I would give my life to save him if became necessary." - I think you forget the "it" at the end, so it would say "I would give my life to save him if IT became necessary."

I love the way you drew the parallels between Sirius and Severus on this one, it really does paint the picture that every character can be more alike to others than we realise.

This is a really great story Molly, and it makes me want to dive into more of your work and to see much more from you in the future. You're a wonderful writer!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Thank you, Ellie!

I'm glad you liked it! I really enjoyed writing this. Sirious being (unhappily) in love with James is in fact my headcanon, but it's a very rare pairing indeed.

Thanks for pointing out that typo, I'm going to edit it right away!

Molly


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Review #8, by miss author The Child of my Beloved

8th March 2015:
Wow, just wow! I'm so impressed. Why did nobody comment?

Author's Response: Thanks!!! I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #9, by JessiesGirl The Child of my Beloved

11th August 2012:
Hi, it's JessiesGirl here from the forums for the review tag. I've opted to review this story in particular simply because I am a hugely devoted Snape/Lily fan and I've never read any Sirius/James material before.

You know I've never considered how different the two protagonists are. The style of repetition you've used in this story was really effective in bringing their glaring contrasts to light. It was a really impressive way of going about it. Initially the italics confused me but I picked up on the change of voice soon enough so I can't really criticise that.

I think you did a very good job conveying emotion in this piece and your characterisation of both Snape and Sirius was very effective. Your writing was good - there is of course room for a bit of improvement but nothing negative can be said about it. Some sentences were also worded a bit awkwardy I noticed but other than that there's nothing else I can find wrong with this story.

It was a very enjoyable read!

JessiesGirl

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for reading and reviewing! :-)

I was a bit surprised by myself when I wrote this story, because I'm not much of a Snape/Lily fan myself. ;-) But I just had to write this.

I was a bit uncertain about the italics. I know some readers find it confusing without an authour's note explaining it. Maybe I should add that?


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Review #10, by Number_One_Ravenclaw_Forever The Child of my Beloved

22nd July 2012:
This was terrifingly interesting. I don't know what to say about it... 10/10!

~Number_One_Ravenclaw_Forever!!!(:

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! :-)

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Review #11, by adluvshp The Child of my Beloved

29th May 2012:
Hey!!

This has been a long overdue review! If you don't know what I'm talking about, I am AditiDraco95 from the forums and you reviewed my story (Change) for a review swap but somehow I never got around to reviewing yours! So, I apologize for the delay :)

Well I think this is a nice little story, you have captured both Snape's and Sirius' emotions well. I like how their thoughts are somewhat along the same lines just in different perspectives and contexts. Your narrative is good and I like the idea. The last lines really touched me. I am not a slash person but I like the way you wrote this - short and sweet. It was a small snippet into Snape's and Sirius' thoughts and you didn't stretch it unnecessarily or add in extra things. Your focus remained clear. As an author, I can never do that, and I tend to at least focus on two ideas in my story, so I really compliment you on being able to be focused on one idea and execute it so well too.

Over all, good job!!

8/10

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)
~Recenseo~

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you like the story, especially since slash isn't your favourite.

It's funny, because I've got the opposite problem from you: My stories tend to focus on only one idea, and I have to work hard to come up with good sub-plots to make them more interesting... :-)


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Review #12, by academica The Child of my Beloved

21st May 2012:
Hey! I'm here with your requested review :)

So I thought this piece was very powerful, particularly given its brevity. I love Snape/Lily, as I mentioned, but I was equally drawn to the Sirius/James shipping I saw here. It's definitely not a common ship, and I've only really read it once before, but I think you executed it very well. I could really feel the emotion in the piece and could definitely sympathize with both of the men that got left out of the love story between Lily and James.

While I liked the parallel form of Snape's and Sirius's thoughts, I do kind of wish you had mixed it up a little more, just so it wouldn't be quite as repetitive. Some repetition is good in terms of its usefulness for effect, but if you're not careful, it can slow the piece down and cause the reader to lose interest. I know you mixed it up a little in terms of individual sentences, but I might have considered adding in some separate snapshots as well, like memories from each of the characters.

This piece seems pretty technically sound, so nice job on that front. I also felt like your imagery was powerful, especially when you were describing Harry's eyes and the way that his appearance caused both Snape and Sirius to be taken aback. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this little one-shot.

Nice job! I hope this review is helpful :)

-Amanda
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Hi Amanda! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

I'm happy you liked the story, and I'm even happier that you gave me some cc. (I haven't got very much of that on this story, so it's really good to have your opinions of this!)

I know you love Snape/Lily. I must say that is a ship I haven't thought a lot about before. The Sirius/James ship has been on my mind for a while, but I've not read anything of it.

Thank you for helping me, Amanda! :-)


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Review #13, by WeasleyTwins The Child of my Beloved

21st May 2012:
Hi, WeasleyTwins here to review!

I would like to begin by saying that I enjoyed immensely the contrast between Sirius and Severus in this piece. I like how the paragraphs/thoughts mirror each other, yet represent in themselves a separate love, a desperate sort of heartache. It was interesting to see the way that you delivered this story by using such repetition. Rather than become redundant, it flowed well and really sort of pulled at my heart. I felt so incredibly sad for these two men.

I don't think this is too sentimental. I hope someone didn't say that to you because honestly, I disagree completely. You have written a heartfelt, heart-wrenching story that exudes the idea of unrequited love and really, the lengths that a person will go to if they're in love with another. As far as too short, I actually like the length. I'm all for being concise, yet descriptive and I believe you've accomplished that with this piece. You've given me plenty of description to really emphasize the mood - it elicits an emotional response with becoming bogged down with unnecessary beating-around-the-bush. As for the believability of your story, I say that it's spot-on. In the series, if we had ever really gotten into the emotions of these two, I would say this is pretty perfect. I think that last part completely and totally made the piece what it is. It shows that these men did /anything/ for love, they gave their lives. I find your interpretation commendable and quite good.

Overall, what a great little piece. I enjoyed it! Please feel free to re-request anytime.

Shelby

Author's Response: Thanks Shelby!
I don't know how to respond to a review like this... :-) You are giving me so much praise that I'm going to get spoiled! ;-) No, I'm just kidding, I'm really glad you liked the story! Thank you!



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Review #14, by CambAngst The Child of my Beloved

19th May 2012:
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.

This story was really, really clever. I don't think I have ever considered that there were any parallels to be drawn between Sirius Black and Severus Snape. The two men seemed to have absolutely nothing in common. Yet here you've gone an found this really deep and intriguing way that the two of them could have looked at Harry and experienced very similar types of feelings, except in a mirror-image sort of way.

One of the most interesting things about the idea, at least to me, is that you could have cast Sirius's interest in James in a completely platonic way and still have gotten to almost exactly the same place. It just makes me scratch my head and think, "how did I never think about this before?" You make it sound so obvious and intuitive.

Your writing was terrific. Everything flowed perfectly and you managed to use almost the same words to express Sirius and Severus's feelings while making just the minimal changes needed to contrast their differing interests in Harry, Lily and James.

I thought this was brilliant. I'm not a big slash fan, but the three stories of yours that I've read so far are making me curious to possibly try out your Albus/Severus story. Bravo!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review (and you're so much faster than me that it's embarassing... )!

I'm glad you liked this one-shot. It has been an idea in my head for a long time, and then I suddenly had to write it.

Sirius's feelings (and his supposed love for James was far more easy for me to understand than the feelings of Snape. I don't like Snape very much, and I think his love for Lily, and therefore his mixed feelings towards Harry is the very best of his character.

I'm glad you liked this, even if you usually don't read slash. Thank you for reading and reviewing! :-)


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Review #15, by ScorpiusRose17 The Child of my Beloved

6th May 2012:
Hi there!

Wow! This is simply awesome.

I don't think it was too over the top sentimental I think you did a great job making it simple, but powerful you know?

I loved how you split it up like this and explored the POV's of both Sirius and Severus. It was really sweet to see their differing view points and what could have beens.

I thought that you expressed the emotions of each of them very well. Snape and his love for Lily and disdain for James and pouring it onto Harry was well done. Sirius I loved too because you could really feel the love he had/has for James.

For being under a thousand words you really did a terrific job bring all of this out. The description of their feelings and how Harry changed and how they saw him were well worded and described. The flow and pace of the story were really well balanced.

You took the two polar opposite people and meshed them into one because they both have more in common than what meets the eye.

Keep up the great work! =) I am adding this to my favorite list!

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Thank you! :-) I'm glad you liked it! It is somewhat different from what I have written before. I've been thinking about this story for quite a long time before I finally wrote it down. :-)

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Review #16, by ginerva_molly_weasley The Child of my Beloved

5th May 2012:
WOW!

This is just simply so powerful with the two points of view in here from the person who loves Lily and who loves James. I liked the nice slashy twist in there too with the whole Sirius/James pairing. I also like the idea of the Snape and Lily ship because it makes me see his thoughts when he knew Harry at school and I sort of begin to understand how much it must have pained him to see Harry everyday who was the child of his beloved.

I love the bit with Sirius where he says 'I love him like I would love my own son' and its just far too cute!

Well done on this piece

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words, and for a lovely review. :-)

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Review #17, by ewsoucf7 The Child of my Beloved

5th May 2012:
Hey there.

Aww! What a sweet story. It is a little sentimental...however, I don't think it's a bad thing. In fact I think it is a very good thing. I don't think a story like this could work if there wasn't sentiment in it.

I loved the contrast between Snape's part and Sirius', though I do think you should have included an author's note to explain that Snape was italicized and Sirius was not, because I was originally confused when I first saw it. I think an author's note would prove quite useful. I love that in the ways that Snape hated Harry, Sirius loved him. I thought it was a nice way to include their feelings.

That said, the ending was perfect. The two of them willing to risk their lives for him because they loved his parents. I love that! It seemed a circular way to end things. Though Snape hated Harry, his love for Lily was greater and he would therefore protect him. Whereas for Sirius it was his love for Harry and James which became the reason he would protect him.

I also like that Snape couldn't bear to look at Harry because he was a reminder of James, whereas Sirius saw how much like Lily Harry is, and that was the reminder for him.

There were no spelling or grammar issues that I spotted.

To conclude then, I think the story is very sentimental, but I think it works to its advantage. I cannot imagine a story like this working if there was no sentiment to it. I think you've created such a nice story, which was lovely to read. I therefore don't think you should see the sentiment as a bad thing at all.

Apologies for the rambling. Thank you for allowing me to review your story, and introducing me to your writing. I hope to read more of your work soon. Until then... =]

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! And thanks for all those kind words about the story! :-)

It might be a good idea with a short explanation in the author's note, as you suggested. I will add that!


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