Reading Reviews for Heart of a Lion
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp The End of all Endings

27th July 2012:
Passing the Parcel to you xP

Wow, a very nice opening chapter for your story! I loved the way you described Hermione. The description of her thoughts was just so HER. I mean it, all that analyzing, over thinking, fearing for her friends, it was very nicely written. I could feel the panic of the situation through your narration. The story flowed very well, and as I said, Hermione's emotions were all over the place, and very tangible. The last lines were very intensely written too, and I could feel the anticipation very well.

All in all, a very nicely written first chapter. The scene setting, descriptions, character narration, all well done. And of course I love the plot. I can sense this to be an awesome dramione!

Good work! 10/10

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Awww thanks AD. I'm currently reconstructing this story but this chapter, as most people like it will not be changed. Just a change in structure only. I loved getting inside her head. Bit too much for me (Man she loves to talk to herself. More like study in her head all the time) but yeah that was cool :D Alright not study all the time but you know what I mean. Hehe

Thank you for the lovely review AD. I mean, this was my first ever piece of writing so getting such lovely reviews really does boost my enthusiasm.

Thank you again :D

*Hugs*


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Review #2, by angel_speaks The End of all Endings

17th July 2012:
Hiya!
Emesias finally here with your requested review!
I apologize if it took this long to fill your request.

There are only 1 or 2 grammatical errors that I spotted throughout this chapter. It's nothing that will greatly affect the overall presentation. Good job with using the line to indicate a shift in scenarios.

I think that you have an interesting plot that you'v got going one. However, I felt like it was a little too short. I can't wait to see how this unfolds. You did an excellent job with describing their actions as well as thoughts. maybe add a little more emotion to add more 'color' to the imagery and well as to the characters ^_^

About the characters, like I said you really did a good job in describing their actions and maybe a little more emotion to them will add more 'spice' to them. I can't wait to see how they develop as characters in this story ^_^


Overall, I think you did a good job with this! I'm excited to read on!

Happy Writing!

Author's Response: Aww thanks Em :D I had a great start. It's just that the chapters aren't organized. Please let me know on that specific note I added in your thread :) Thanks for the review :D

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Review #3, by Angelique Aspis The End of all Endings

7th July 2012:
Okay, THIS story is perfectly clear! I know exactly what's going on and how Hermione is feeling. I think this one is great!

Author's Response: Awww thanks love. :) This was my first ever story so I was a bit nervous. Thanks :)

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Review #4, by Jchrissy The End of all Endings

1st July 2012:
Wow, what a creative idea, my dear!!! I have never, ever, ever read something from Hermione's PoV during the Cup, it's such a new idea! I think you did a really great job catching Hermione's frantic nature in this, trying desperately to find her friends. I also loved the line where she berates herself for not paying attention, even though she really shouldn't because Lucius always makes threatening ideas, but it's still so Hermione.

This one has some off and on grammar issues, nothing your beta (you said you got one, right? :) ) can't fix! I love the originality of this and the cliffhanger, it definitely makes me want to go one!!

Wonderful first chapter!!

Author's Response: Now I'm having doubts about the revamping process. Should I or should I not? Help!!

I thought the end was a bit over dramatic but I guess that's alright :D Thanks a lot Jami I love your reviews :)


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Review #5, by dlmalfoy16406 The End of all Endings

20th May 2012:
Lovely Story. It was quite short. But I love it 😊

Author's Response: next chapter is quite long but it will be here in a couple of days. :) Thank You

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Review #6, by Elenia The End of all Endings

9th May 2012:
(Gryffie-tag!)

Interesting start you have here (: I don't think I've ever read Hermione's POV of what happened during the chaos in the World Cup, so that was nice.

I think your writing is good, you have a lot description going on and I could really feel the suspense and action in the chapter. Well done!

Spotted few little typos, but nothing major - your grammar is good.

Keep up the good work!

~Elenia

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch Elenia :) :) :) Doing my best :)

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Review #7, by lochi The End of all Endings

4th May 2012:
this has a good start. keep up the work. hoping for more excitement in the future and dot keep us fans waiting..:)

Author's Response: It all starts from chapter three ;) ;) Stick to the end and keep reviewing. Thanks sooo much

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Review #8, by wierdo... The End of all Endings

4th May 2012:
thumbs up...!!! and please continue the story .

Author's Response: Thank you weirdo... Stick to the end :) :) :)

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Review #9, by sillywilly The End of all Endings

1st May 2012:
Good plot and an incredible cliff-hanger! Update soon Pls! I will be waiting!

Author's Response: I updated 5 days ago. They haven't validated yet. Any day now =) Thank you for reading... Follow me to the end :D

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Review #10, by George The End of all Endings

27th April 2012:
This is awesome, you should write a book of these ;P

Author's Response: Haha Thank You Gerorge. I added the second chapter yesterday. It'll be out in about 3 days. Hope you like that too =) =) A book... Hmmm... This is sorta ma test you know. If people like this I might ;)

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Review #11, by maximumkatniss The End of all Endings

27th April 2012:
this was good. please write more.

Author's Response: Already added the second chapter =) and Thank you.

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Review #12, by FELTSON <3 The End of all Endings

27th April 2012:
WOAH! well done SHORTEY!!! :D
Hope we can expect more ROMANCE in the FUTURE!!! ;D

Author's Response: Definitely Feltson ;) ;) ;) ;) More to your expectation that anyone else's I should say.

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Review #13, by RavenclawStudent The End of all Endings

26th April 2012:
I liked it. I did really, I think you're off to a good start of a Draco/Hermione story and I am interested. I wonder who the person is? ;P My bets are on the dragon of bad faith (Draco) ;D This is set in their fourth year right? I have a question; will it be a fourth year setting throughout the whole novel(la)? Or are you going to include the war and whatnot in it too?
I have a pointer for you, before you submit your chapter, use spell/grammar check, because I found, whilst reading the text, that you spel Hermione's name wrong on one occasion and that you did not put a punctuation before the closed speech marks. It is basic grammar knowledge that their must be punctuation before closed speech marks, and also your elipses are extremely long. Grammatically, it is only meant to be three full stops (...), and wasn't it Draco who said that to Harry, not Lucius?:/
But that's all I can point out, but otherwise it was an interesting read! Update soon with a longer chapter? o3o
Peace out.^^

Author's Response: hey =) =) Thank you sooo much for pointing out. Oh daim I didn't notice. I'll triple check next time =). and no it was Lucius. I watched and read that part before writing. and again, I'll triple check next time. Keep on pointing out these stuff to me. It's very encouraging =) Thanks again.

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Review #14, by LilyShadowHaze The End of all Endings

26th April 2012:
You write really clearly and... how do I say it? Intensely, I suppose. It's really, really good. Keep it up :)

Author's Response: Thank you sooo much!!! Won't disappoint you

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