Oh my goodness this was hilarious; I actually had tears in my eyes when that Tom Jones number came on. I love the Fresh Prince of Bel Air!!! Your choice to make Draco Malfoy the incarnate of Carlton Banks was both completely bonkers and absolutely genius. A few of my particular favourite bits...
.Seamus saying 'this one is going out to my brother from another mother' (just imagining him saying that in his Irish accent was too funny
.Hermione saying 'I have curves in all the right places' (one of the most cliche and overused profanities in this entire fandom of fan fiction which I'm happy that you chose to make fun of).
.Draco's frequent saying of 'my father will hear of this'
And there were lots more but I think that if I continue I'll just be quoting the whole story back to you. This was absolutely brilliant and it's going straight into my favourites. You clearly have as gift when it comes to writing humour. I might actually check out some of your other stuff. Parody is really the only way that I am able to appreciate Dramione which is why I'm not ashamed to say that I liked the ship for once. This was genius!
THGAuthor's Response: Isn't the Fresh Prince awesome?
So I've seen a lot of Dramione's where Hermione finds out she's Blaise Zabini's twin and is actually a pureblood, and then they magically use this glamour charm and make her look like Beyonce, and well, they all follow the same basic formula. So I thought it would be funny to turn that formula around and have Draco be the one to change.
Thanks a lot for the review! Report Review
Oh my goodness this was hilarious! I'm not a fan of the Dramione pairing, so this was a great read.
You had so many funny moments scattered throughout this, that I'm going to have a hard time just picking a few. I loved how Draco-whoops sorry, I mean Ned-kept saying “My father will hear of this,” because that is such a Draco Malfoy cliche!
Oh, and the line: “Draco, your true name is Nebuchadnezzar Hammurabi Charlemagne Apollo Thomas, but we can just call you Ned to make it easy” was so hilariously random! I honestly laughed out loud and everyone around me looked at me like I was crazy. In their defence, I am:)
In saying that, I think my favourite line in the whole thing was: '“But how is this genetically possible? I mean, I’m a pasty albino, and you guys, well…” Perfect!
I really enjoyed this, thanks for the great read!
Courtney:)Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!
I'm not a Dramione fan either, so as you can imagine, this was very fun to write.
You may have come across a common Dramione cliche where Hermione finds out that she is Blaise Zabini's sister and actually a pureblood, which is what I wanted to make fun of here.
Glad you liked it!
-James Report Review
Dude, this is hilarious xD As soon as I saw Carlton on your banner I burst out laughing. What on Earth are you up to now?
I thought you did a brilliant job in this parody. Everyone is in that cliche'd character, complete with "My father will hear about this." My favourite line was "He was all too willing to accept this story and completely turn his back on the family, friends, and ideals he had grown up with."
It's so true! You've certainly picked up on the cliches that infect Dramione's nowadays.
Great job!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
As you can imagine, this was a pretty fun one to write, and unfortunetly we see this scenario far too often.
Thanks again! Report Review
I LOVE THIS! AND YES I REALLY AM SHOUTING IN CAPSLOCK because my dad will throw a hissy fit if I actually shouted this out loud. (drastic change in volume much?)
Anyway, I love how original your concept was (as they always are!). When I first read Lucius declaring Draco being the long lost son, I couldn't help but think aloud "isn't Dean black?", but of course, being the clever one you are, you helped back up the question many readers probably wondered.
I love Draco's new name as well. I cracked up when I saw it! I'm guessing by the nature of it, it's aimed to be some traditional African name? I'm not sure if it's even a name (I'm too lazy to look it up).
And for some reason, I couldn't help but laugh at their American slang. "Dude?" "Bro?" "Brother from another mother?"
I honestly face plamed, snorting, at Goyle's response. It isn't hard picturing him say that.
Oh the words I could say to describe the elated feeling I feel after I read this. Your humor is the reason why I've put you under one of my favorite authors. Again, great job!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for another great review!
You may have noticed that there seems to b a lot of stories that feature Hermione finding out that she' a pureblood and Blaise Zabini's twin, and then faling for Draco, which is pretty ridiculous if you ask me, so that's really what gave me the idea for this.
Draco's name actually comes from ancient Babylonian kings, and I wanted to make fun of how in this type of story Hermione always seem to find out that her real name is something like Princess Aphrodite Sunshine Zabini.
Thanks again! Report Review
This had me laughing out loud. I was browsing through your stories - found you through tag - and when I saw this title and the banner I knew I had to read it. And I'm glad I did. It's amazing!
All the cliches are there and I've read multiple Dramione parodies but none of them cracked me up like yours. Well done!
P.S. Loved Goyle ;)Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review, glad you enjoyed it! Unfortntely many of these themes are all too common... Report Review
Hi, I'm here from tag.
I made the mistake of reading this in a library and now people are staring at me for my seemingly random burst of laughter. True story.
But anyway, on with the review: I can honestly say that it was just so recognisable as every single Dramione ever in one one-shot, from the orbs to the revealed ancestry to the curves in all the right places (oh God how many times have I read that about Hermione). I haven't even read that many Dramiones, and I can still recognise all of the cliches, so either that's a job well done for you or a sad reflection on popular HP pairings.
And Goyle is awesome. Cool story bro.Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
Sadly, I've read quit a few Dramione's with pretty much this exact plot line, so I kind of felt the need to write this.
Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
This was great! I mean like, really. I wrote a dramione parody once, but no where near the awesome level of this! You've done an amazing job! I was grinning the whole was through, and even "lol'd" at a point. Just...perfection.Author's Response: Thanks a lot, glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
AWESOME. I love Ned, what a guy. i love how the orbs made an appearance, I like the frank tone and the fact that although it's another dramione parody it's totally different to your last one. Also, GOYLE. he rules! I love him in this, so cavemanish ;) I love how quickly they fell in love, but I was missing the angst. I mean, there were no hard desicions for Hermione to make. Draco in the beginning was so Draco-cliche i loved it! And his super long name! What a great name! It did make me chuckle indeed. Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review, and true, there was a significant lack of angst that takes away from the Dramio-ness. I'm sure yu've read 1 or 2 of the 5000 stories that hve Hermione finding out she's a pureblood and her name is actually Princess Aphrodite Zabini, so I wanted to flip that whole thing around. Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
OH MY GOD WHY IS THIS AWESOME. All the awards. Seriously. This was so hilarious. My kids came running in to ask what was so funny. Epic. Epic win. My orbs are wet with tears of laughter.
And now I'm picturing Draco doing the Carlton dance.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
And he strikes again! Gotta love the Dramione that is the ULTIMATE in Dramiones. You know, your Draco is the opposite end of the spectrum to mine.
Also, when Draco transformed into Ned, who I actually thought of in the description was Urkle (or however you spell that) from that other early 90's/late 80's show.
Ah, I loved this. It made me smile and laugh, especially when TOM JONES came on!! When you started to describe Ned dancing I totally thought you were going to have him do "the Pony" like Will and Carlton did in an episode where they had to earn money by dancing in order to get back home or something (it's been a long while since I've seen the show).
And Moustache! Yes!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
I actually couldn't decide if I would rather have him be Urkel or Carlton, but I went with Carlton because of the dance moves. In a few episodes, he actually has his own dance, the "carlton," which he does to Tom Jones. Report Review
The saddest and yet most hilarious aspect of this story is that it really is not unusual, it's very usual, much too usual. You did pretty much encapsulate all of the Dramiones throughout the history of fanfiction right here in a couple thousand words, which doesn't say much for those other stories... which often go on and on for many thousands of words. Was it a challenge to fit everything in? Or did it work to just let things happen randomly (because that seems to be the norm for these kind of stories, actually)?
How people could accidentally take this story seriously, I really don't know. The whole "Slytherin sex god" thing tipped me off right away. :P From there, it got more and more insane, but each time, you explained away things to perfection - the issue of genetics (I see what you did there with the Hermione Zabini cliche), the change in characterization. then that ending paragraph, which caps it off excellently - definitely a slap in the face to Dramione fans. ;)
Great work with this! It's an insanely funny parody - someone had to finally write something like this! It's been long overdue. :DAuthor's Response: Oh yes, that is sad but true. In the course of my "research" for this story if you will, I pretty much saw this exact storyline about 7-8 times, but of course it was Hermione finding out she's Blaise's twin. Once I settled on a major Dramione cliche, the rest of them pretty much fell into place as the supporting details.
And I just love all the hurdles Dramiones somehow jump over when creating their scenarios, like how there was some kind of danger that only affected girls, so she had to be hidden, but she could still go to hogwarts somehow, and oh there was a glamour charm to hide her curves in the right places and ummm Blaise is actually Italian haha. And of course, at the end of that, the only similarity left to canon Hermione is the name, except they often change that too.
Thank you so much for the great review! Report Review
Whoa. Mind equals blown, as the cool kids seem to be saying these days. Or is it, "Mind, welcome to blown"? Clearly, I am about as trendy as Draco, ahem, Ned has become. :P This story is absolutely hilarious so far. It's hilariously bad, which makes it a hilarious parody. The awful thing is, I have seen at least one story non-ironically using nearly every device you've incuded here! :P That's also what makes it hilarious.
Seriously, this is one of the most hilarious things I have ever read on this site. I don't really know what to say other than that!
If your Voldemort stories are as amusing as this, I may need to watch out so I don't bust any ribs laughing.Author's Response: Haha, that's great to hear! In my "research" for this story I came across the same storyline quite a few times involving Hermione finding out tht she's a pureblood and Blaise Zabini's twin. So I decided to take that theme and put a new twist on it.
Thank you so much for reviewing! Report Review
Haha, nice. Very nice. I saw your status over on the forums and had to come over and check for myself. I must say I was not disappointed. Quite an entertaining read :)Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review, glad to hear you enjoyed it! Report Review
Um.okay? This is realy weird and goes realy fastAuthor's Response: I think you totally missed the point, oh well... Report Review
Once again, absolute and utter hilarity! I loved it. I don't think you missed a single cliche!Author's Response: Thanks a lot, glad you liked it! Report Review
this is totally unusual but still pretty good and it was funny with Goyle's response: Goyle is hungryAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! Report Review
This was pretty hilarious. :D I laughed out loud the first time Draco said "My father will hear of this."
What I thought was really clever about this story was your parody of the underlying issue with so many Dramione stories...Draco and/or Hermione usually have to undergo a massive and unrealistic personality change to make the relationship work. The way you poked fun at that was great!Author's Response: Thanks a lot!, and I just had to use that line haha
That's totally true about one of them having to change, and pretty much being a typical nice guy myself, I'm so tired of stories where a nice girl has to change to win over a bad boy (like I absolutely hate the fact that Sandy changed for Danny in Grease) so here I decided to flip the tables a bit.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Ok, that was great!!! Loved how you poked fun at all the cliches and things Dramione usually ignores. Love it!! faved for sure!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Another awesome, ridiculous story. :)
"Draco, your true name is Nebuchadnezzar Hammurabi Charlemagne Apollo Thomas, but we can just call you Ned to make it easy."
Cool story bro. Goyle is hungry!!
His wardrobe had changed as well, and he was now wearing a white button down shirt with a pocket protector, a yellow cardigan jumper, and brightly colored plaid trousers.
"Dude, you look just like Carlton!" Dean exclaimed, finally breaking his silence.
"Do I need to wear something more stylish than this?" asked Ned, still wearing his bright yellow cardigan.
"No, you're good, mate," said Seamus with a snicker.
Narcissa explained further, "The charm changed your whole personality as well. Your true persona is actually a kind hearted bookish nerd. You'll probably even be resorted into Ravenclaw. So basically, your characterization in this story doesn't resemble Draco Malfoy at all."
So, yeah. Good job ;)Author's Response: I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I saw your status on the forums and I just knew this was going to be epic. And then I get here and the first line I see is 'epic Slytherin sex god'-- I was not dissapointed :)
So.. Draco is Dean Thomas' brother.. and now he's black.. and muggle born.. But it's okay! Because he still has his orbs for MarySu-- er, sorry, Hermione to reconize!
Actually, you didn't do all too bad with Hermione :p despite the whole 'why is she sitting at a club trying to read' idea, she was actually reading! but the 'curves in all the right places' totally made up for it.
As expected, this was brilliant. "Blistfully entering an alternate world where details like Ron and Astoria..." loved!Author's Response: Haha, who can resist the prince of slytherin?
So I've read so many stories where Hermione finds out she's a Zabini and I'm like "how is that genetically possible? Oh ok, there's a glamour charm, never mind"
I thought turning the tables a bit would demonstrate the utter ridiculousness. Also, why does Hermione always have to become pureblood? Why can't Draco change for her?
I figured Hermione wouldnt have to change as much since Draco was becoming more like her, but "curves in the right places" and "silvery orbs" are basically mandatory to mention in any dramione. And who doesnt read a book in clubs, all the cool kids are doing it, right?
Thanks a lot for the great review! Report Review
OH MY LORD. THE CARLTON! YES, YES, YES! :D
I CAN'T GET OVER THIS.
Wait, one of my favorite lines:
"But how is this genetically possible? I mean, I
m a pasty albino, and you guys, well..."
You're my parody hero!Author's Response: For the record, I have totally done the Carlton in clubs before, and I don't see why anbody wouldn't.
And I love the major elephant in the room whenever Hermione finds out she's twins with Blaise, so I had to find a way to work that into this story in a slightly more obvious way.
Thanks a lot for the review!! Report Review
There's only one thing I have to say about the awesome story.
Cool story bro.Author's Response: LOL thanks a lot! gad you enjoyed it! Report Review
... *Dies laughing* Bwahahaha! *Dies again* This is... oh wow; this is just... (insert lots of words meaning 'hilarious' and 'perfect' here). *Dies again*
I'm sitting in a computer lab at my Uni and I kept snickering and having to cover my mouth to keep from laughing out loud! And the tears of laughter are making everyone stare at me... meh, who cares?!? This is SO awesome; definitely the best bit of humor I've EVER read. Ever. You successfully combined every Dramione cliche, including putting your unique twist on the 'Hermione's not really a muggle-born' bit. (I had a feeling this was coming when I saw your status the other day!)
And the 'Fresh Prince' quotes/Carlton references/'It's not Unusual' with the Carlton dance?? WIN. Perfectly timed, too! I haven't seen that show in forever, reading this makes me want to go buy every season! And I loved Draco's (I mean, Ned's) new, 500-character-long name! Truly incredible - You. Are. A. Genius! 100/1000 and going in my favorites! And I hope that by the time I finish writing all this I'll still be the first review!Author's Response: Hey there, thanks for being the first reviewer!
I tried to work in as many cliches as I could, and of course, Hermione being a Zabini is one of the more annoying ones. But seriously, why does she always have to be a pureblood? Why can't Draco change for her? I wanted to turn the tables a bit here.
And I'm glad and relieved that you enjoyed the Fresh Prince references! That show is so full of win, but I was a little worried some of the readers might be too young to get it.
Thank you so much for such a great review! Report Review
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