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Reading Reviews for Hope for the Hopeless
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by blueirony Tom Riddle

24th February 2013:
You requested this a really long time ago and I only just now got around to it. I apologise!

I think that others have already pointed out some of the few errors in this so I won't bother too much about that. Most of them are small typos that could easily be fixed by having a proofread of this and perhaps asking for someone else to help you.

Personally, I'm a bit stuck on the fence with this. On one hand, I adore the idea that you are going to be using a collection to raise awareness on a very serious issue. It's a really inspiring thing you're doing and I can definitely see how it could work with having a series of stories in it. On the other hand, however, I'm wondering if the link between the bullied Tom and the bully Tom is strong enough.

I understand what you are trying to say. That people who have been bullied may well become impervious to how others think of them and, in turn, even become horrible to others themselves. And I think that we do get to see aspects of that in Harry Potter when JKR gave us some insight into what Tom Riddle's life was like as a child.

But I'm wondering whether it really flows in this? I don't want you to think that I hated this or anything. I may even just be thinking too hard about this. But I just wonder if Tom's tough times as a kid would warrant him to set Nagini on Gerald and Oliver.

Other than that, though, I hope you do pick this up and continue writing it. There is definitely a lot you can do with it and it would be a shame for you to stop.

Jasmine :)

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Review #2, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Tom Riddle

11th May 2012:
Hey!

I thought this was a really original and neat idea. The way you connected Travis and Nagini was brilliant and the descriptions and characterizations were on point!

This needs to be edited though, there were a few grammar/spelling mistakes here and there. It didn't take away from the story but it needs to be polished.

I really liked this but I'm kind of on the fence about the whole bullying thing. I get that Tom finally found a friend and everything was 'better' for him in the end...but was it really? Maybe I'm connecting too far. I think it's a great idea of what you're doing because bullying is something that needs to be addressed but in reality Tom Riddle was a bully too. The last line of his, the 'famished' part, that reads bully to me.

Author's Response: What I was thinking with Tom was that I was thinking of using the theme (and perhaps I needed to point this out more in an authors note) that a part of him turned so evil because of bullying :p Kind of like: 'Watch out with who you bully, you just might not know who will turn into the future dark lord.' Thanks so much for your review! Gave me a lot to think about :)

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Review #3, by RosieQueen Tom Riddle

7th May 2012:
I really enjoyed this! I can't wait to read more. One thing I suggest you work on is your past tenses. One moment you're writing in present tense, and the next moment you're writing in past tense, which makes the story sound strange and a bit sloppy. Other than that, I really love this, and I'm adding this to favorites! :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much :))) I know me battling with the tenses have been a bit of a work-in-progress for me. Thanks for your review! :D

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Review #4, by Ravenclaw_Charm Tom Riddle

3rd May 2012:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review :D Sorry it took a while!

Grammar:
I found a paragraph with quite a few mistakes:

He had never liked the indoors of the orphanage, It wasn't the children that he minded, he rather liked their laughter, it's the coldness of the orphanage that disturbed him the most. The fact that he new deep inside, that no one in there really cared about him. That he was just another unwanted child in the midst of several others. He was no one special. He's just a boy, that's all.

There should be a period after "orphanage." I think commas are took weak to separate "he rather liked their laughter" from the rest of the sentence - perhaps parentheses or hyphens? Also, "new" should be "knew." Finally, in the last sentence, you changed tenses (past to present). It's really just things you'll find if you skim it real quick. I know keeping consistent with tenses and proper grammar is hard, but if you just give it a quick check, it'll really improve the flow and look of your chapter :)

Plot:
Plot was fabulous. I love (hate?) how you incorporated bullying into it, and Tom Riddle is the best character to use. Bullying really is a big problem (I must admit that I too have bullied my peers on a few occasions, and I'm not proud of it), and I'm so happy that you're raising awareness. It really isn't your typical fic, and it has this great theme behind it - good job! :D

Characterization:
Extremely well done. Tom was done perfectly. I would like to see you write in his POV more! You really captured the lonely orphan side of him, and you use it to get the reader's sympathy. In the end, I like how the reader gets a glimpse at the beginning of Voldemort, and Nagini makes an appearance! (I always wondered how he found her...) Travis was well-done as well. He had that snake attitude about him, but his relationship with Tom was brilliant. Honestly, characterization and narration are your strong points. (Jealous...)

Again, sorry for the wait! Thanks for requesting :) All in all, amazing, beautiful fic! It's going into my favorites :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! :) I'm going to fix those errors! =D I'm glad that you liked my characterization and narration :)) I was a little worried about it and thought that I could have used a bit more depth so that makes me relieved.

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Review #5, by MercyWaters Tom Riddle

26th April 2012:
This was an interesting start. :) I like the idea for this collection, it's very original! And hopefully you succeed in raising a bit of awareness.

I like how you started off with Tom. It's interesting to see another perspective on Voldemort's life, on the events and treatment that shaped his later life. I think you characterized him well and the bit with the snake was very interesting. It makes sense, honestly, that one of his only friends would be a snake. He's always seemed to like snakes (Nagini, for example) better than his fellow man.

I'm interested to see what's coming next! Do you have an idea of who the next installment will focus on?

Bri, xx

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed the theme of the story :) Makes me very glad to hear that. I'm also glad that you liked my Tom, at first I was having such a hard time and I didn't know what direction to come with him. :) Thanks for your review!

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Review #6, by ScorpiusRose17 Tom Riddle

26th April 2012:
Hi there!

I am hre with your review. Sorry it has taken me so long. I had somethings come up that I needed to take care of, but here it goes...

First of all, I want to say that I was really excited when I saw this in my Review thread and that it was about awareness towards bullying. I think that more stories should have a focus like this because as Author's we have a gift to express ourselves in such was that we can open the eyes of many not just the few. Kudos to you for taking on a topic that I haven't ever seen discussed before!

I also wanted to say that I liked the cleverness that you used in this chapter to introduce Nagini and Tom. It was a very intense and sad moment for Tom with the loss of Travis, but I thought that the way that you brought the chapter full circle on bringing Nagini back with Tom to intorduce to the boys was very cool.

The flow and pace of the chapter was really well done. It was smooth in its transitions and complimented the pace well, balancing it out and giving us a non rushed feel to the chapter. I also thought that the tenses that you used were perfectly fine and that they were easy to follow. I wasn't confused.

I thought that you did a wonderful job with Tom's characterization. It was suppose to be an innocent feeling and also gave me the creeps at the same time. Which he is known well to do. I also thought that the other characters, Gerald and Oliver were portrayed well as bullies.

I am not great at grammar, but from what I know and what I read I didn't see anything that jumped out at me that needed to be corrected. I didn't see any typos, spelling errors, or oddly worded sentences that made me confused.

Overall, this was an awesome chapter and I look forward to reading what else you have in store for this. You did a great job!!

Keep up the awesome work!! =)

Please re-request when you have the next chapter. I would love to read it. I am also adding this to my favorites!

-SR17

Author's Response: =D I'm glad that you enjoyed this enough to put it in your favorites, your review was very thoughtful and sweet and it made me feel a bit more confident about my writing. :) Thanks for your review!

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Review #7, by Aphoride Tom Riddle

24th April 2012:
First of all, I really like the idea of this collection: looking at all those characters who were bullied in the books (because there were quite a lot of them, after all - Harry, Neville, Tom, Luna, etc.) and showing how it affected them. I really look forward to seeing how you show the differences between their characters - there will be similarities occasionally, of course, but a lot of differences too.

Moving on to the story - gah, I really liked it! Tom Riddle is such a pain to write as a child (I tried it once and failed. It was horrible, lol), but I thought you did it pretty well. You had the journey from him being relatively innocent and quiet to being more... well, evil, I suppose, and cruel mapped out pretty well. I can easily see him progressing from there and moving on to become Voldemort, always remembering the idea of him becoming a king, like the snake told him he would be.

The whole Travis and Nagini thing was a really good idea, too. A really original way of working in Nagini and showing Tom's mental progression as well. The only bit I was unsure about is right at the end when he brings Nagini back to show to the two bullies. I'm just not sure if two eleven year old boys who aren't scared of snakes would really be that scared of Tom Riddle - it just seems a little out of place. Maybe a bit more description would help, or a slightly toned-down reaction? I loved the conversation with Travis, though, and the use of the word 'freak'. Reminded me so much of Petunia and Lily and Harry - I don't know if that was intentional, but it was a good link nevertheless.

Just a quick thing: there are a few tense errors (using 'is' when it should be 'was') throughout the piece - maybe check it over again, or use the forums to get a quick beta for it? It would just make the flow a little bit easier!

Overall, I really liked this! Your characteration was brilliant, the plot was so original and I really like the whole concept of this collection.

Keep going! :D
Aph xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you pointed those errors out to me since thats what I've been working on as a writer.

I had a bit of a hard time writing Tom's chapter but I really wanted the story to start off with Tom Riddle's character since I thought that it was a dramatic entrance.

It's currently being beta'd :) Just waiting for my beta to get the current chapter back to me!

Thanks so much for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed it and it made me happy to hear your opinion!


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