Reading Reviews for Better Days Than These
  
94 Reviews Found

Review #1, by daliha I'm perfect and I know it... but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect.

21st January 2014:
OMG! XD I loved how Mary-Sueish this was you had me giggling like a a little girl the whole way. Thanks for reminding about the review (I still owe you one because of me being forgetful.)

Author's Response: Hey, thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #2, by alicia and anne I'm perfect and I know it... but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect.

18th January 2014:
Hey! I'm here from the review tag, I must say that I'm excited.

And I know that I'm right to be excited, purely for the fact that there is caviar-encrusted bacon! She must be a very special student to be getting that. :D

She has a house-elf at her beck and call and she is excited for months on end! I love it!

:O Pansy is allergic to Silk? Say it isn't so! How can she be wonderful now? *gasps*

Slytherins have the best rules! And clearly the best students, I would like sweets delivered to me daily, I want it to feel like christmas everyday!

I love that she attends both sixth and seventh year classes, I'm hoping that she does graduate early and get to be with her one true love Roderick! Especially because she was held back a year.

Oh my! That fight with Pansy was hilarious! My favourite part was when someone threw a day old biscuit at her head, they were clearly saving that for a moment when it needed to be used.

Azkaban care packages?! Brilliant! Although what are prisoners going to do with glittery key chains?

Oh no! What's happened to Squiggles?

Oh no!! Poor Squiggles!

This was a really well written and hilarious story! I enjoyed reading this! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Welcome to my crazy story!

Sounds like you enjoyed the Mary Sue Slytherin chapter of this story! Haha! Those poor people in Azkaban with glittery key chains??? What on earth was she thinking??? I have no idea.

Thanks for the fun review!


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Review #3, by Infinityx I'm perfect and I know it... but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect.

17th January 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the review tag.

I was so eager to read this story as soon as I saw the first chapter's title. I had a feeling that this would be a very interesting and humorous story and your first chapter definitely did not let me down! The very first paragraph with the line "Lord Voldemort's minions had begun their reign of terror" had me caught up.

I love Peony's character. Her opinion of the Carrows makes her seem like quite an innocent girl. Her fluffy thoughts about her boyfriend and just the plain attitude she has about life makes her a really endearing character.

Her long name made me laugh so hard. It's so characteristic of a pureblood background and the way she began her introductory essay was so cute and funny. She doesn't seem to have that evil streak in her that Pansy has. She was so cruel to humiliate Peony like that in the common room. But I'm glad Peony got the last word in. She has a quick wit despite the innocent girl air she portrays. There must be more to her than just that.

The way Peony is portrayed - with her proper attire, her thoughts about her boyfriend, the way she makes kissy noises to her finches - it seems like she has a whole different idea of the world. Like it's some fairy tale with everything good in it. She didn't even pay attention to the scream that she heard while walking to the kitchens!

I like how Astoria is a good friend to Peony. She seems like a sweet person, a sharp contrast to Pansy. I'd like to see more of her as the story progresses.

Poor Squiggles! She seemed like such a good house elf, not one that would get in trouble! :(
The way you've ended this chapter is really powerful. I'm really intrigued and I'm definitely going to keep reading! Wonderful chapter!

- Erin

Author's Response:
Hi back at you!

Wow, Peony. I have flashbacks just thinking about her name. Haha! Parodys are either a love them or hate them deal. I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter of this crazy thing. I hope you get a chance to come back and read more! There's really a plot...

Thanks for the great review!

Pix


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Review #4, by 800 words of heaven I'm perfect and I know it... but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect.

28th September 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

Fair warning: I'm a bit rambly when I review, so excuse any nonsense things that may ensue. Also, I love a good Mary Sue story. I'm super interested to see in which direction you take this story, and I haven't even begun reading it yet!

Three paragraphs in, and I think I'm already in love with your character! She is so blatantly a Mary Sue, but there's something so endearing about her already. I have no idea if you're taking this story seriously or not, but I have a tendency to get super involved super-fast, so excuse any gushing that may follow.

"Pansy was allergic to silk, the poor dear." Ah, poor Pansy, indeed! I cannot wait to see the two of them interacting with each other!

Your description is to die for! I'm so in love with it! It is very characteristic of Mary Sue stories, but it's still vivid and imaginative, which is amazing. I can actually see the scene unfolding before my eyes.

Is Peony severely deluded? Is this hinting to a deeper and more mysterious plot? Hmm... questions, questions, questions!

"The emerald-green finch goes well with the upholstery." There are just these absolutely brilliant lines peppered through this! I'm loving this story more and more!

Ooh! Here's another one! "Gotta polish my broomstick!" I had to keep a cackle contained at that one!

"With the Ravenclaw motivational haikus..." Dude. I'd love to read one of those!

Oh, my goodness! Drama! Murder! Mystery! Excitement! If you couldn't tell, I really enjoyed myself reading this! I hope to be back soon for chapter two!

Author's Response: Oh, hey!

Go ahead and ramble to your heart's content. It'll be fun!

People keep telling me that Peony is "endearing" and I wish I knew what I did to get that effect, because I'd love to re-create it sometime. I'm glad she's working for you, and not becoming some horribly annoying girl. Because that can happen with Mary Sues pretty quickly.

The description was part of the fun of writing this. I wanted to go as far as I could with the Mary Sue and cliche's, but still make it a decent story with a kind of plot thingy running through the middle of it, because without a plot, it wouldn't be much of a story, y'know?

Peony and Pansy have that special relationship that only half-sisters can have. :) Oh, if I only had the brains for a motivational haiku... that would have been hilarious! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story so far. I tried to include a bit of everything, and I hope you get a chance to come back to it soon!

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #5, by randomwriter I'm perfect and I know it... but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect.

3rd August 2013:
Hi there :)
I'm here from the 'Review The Person Above You' thread :)

I had to look up the meaning of Mary Sue, and I must say that you have painted a very idealistic picture (which is how I read it should be, so kudos!) :P It was a little annoying though, because she was SO happy, and even when Pansy tried to bring her down, she was just merely sort of upset. It's funny how she ended up in Slytherin :P I would definitely like to know. However, her snobbishness, and pureblood-pride came out throughout the chapter. So I think you did a great job setting this up :)

I think this is very well-written, and it cracked me up in quite a few places! 'Voldemort's little minions' 'motivational haikus'?? HAHAHA :D :D

I think this is a really nice story, and I'm very curious to know what happens next, so I will probably read this sometime. Poor Squiggles. I do have a soft corner for House Elves, and I want to know how she was murdered and why. It's so sad!
I didn't spot any grammatical errors or typos, so well done :D

Author's Response: Hi!

It's a review! *is excited*

I know the annoying factor was high, but I did that on purpose, so it turned out to be quite the sugar-coated read. I'm glad you were able to get through it without too much insulin. Peony definitely has that snobbish pride thing going on, so it shouldn't be too much of a stretch for her to be in Slytherin. If you keep reading, there will be better reasons. :)

Poor Squiggles, indeed. Haha! Thanks so much for the review! I enjoyed reading your comments and reactions to this chapter!


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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 An interrogation, another dream sequence, the final battle, and a requisite ball. What more could you ask for?

4th June 2013:
Oh, dear Merlin!! So. Much. PARODY!!!

There's something to be said for strong endings, and it's different for every story. For this one, that "something" that is to be said goes like:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

To accompany that, please picture a whale dressed in a taco suit, rolling around on the floor laughing.

Because this chapter was just too hilarious.

Really, you stopped at nothing to make this the craziest one of them all, didn't you? There was some of everything, and it was all. So. Funny! :)

Duct tape. On Draco Malfoy' s toupee?! The dark and light side? Oh, I'm incoherent!!

The mention of her father drowning in his own tears made me laugh extra hard for some reason, as did the boggart-puppies. And everything, including the actual events of the Final Battle, kept coming in to further point out that THIS SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING. But how can you tell the biggest Mary Sue of MarySueville that she isn't allowed to exist?

That's right, you can't!

The best part, in my opinion, was when she turned Draco down. That's really what sets her apart--she isn't as Mary Sue as we want her to be.

Because really, who else would she marry, if not Terrence the inspector? He had a rather big purpose in the story, after all!!

I applaud you loudly and boisterously for finishing this crazy story. It is truly a work of... Art, we'll say. :)

Now, tell me, do you plan to write a sequel? :D

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Ok, bad, bad, bad author for letting this awesome review sit by unanswered for so long!

Thanks so much for coming back to finish this story! You know how much we fret over endings, so I'm extra happy that you think this was "strong" and carries through everything that Peony has dealt with. I think your words to describe this particular ending couldn't have been more flattering! (If you weren't laughing, I obviously had done something horribly wrong).

I really couldn't resist messing with Draco one last time. He's likely the least likable character (next to Crabbe and Goyle) in all the books for me. However, I admit that there's something special about that Malfoy hair. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it. ;)

So I asked myself: "How do I come up with a stunningly brilliant battle scene for Peony, so she can simultaneously showcase her incredible talents and utterly fail in an utterly non-May-Sue way at the same time?" I dunno if it did all that, but making it ridiculous was one of my aims. Check.

Another check that I was obliged to include was a proposal in the middle of a Hogwarts ball, but Peony had other plans, thank goodness! It was important for her to grow as a character, otherwise this would have been the biggest Mary Sue malady ever, and the craftsperson inside me just couldn't let that happen. And yes, really. There was no one else but Terrence. :P

Call it Art. Call it whatever you like. I'm just glad you read it and gave me such wonderful feedback! Unfortunately, there is no sequel, planned or perceived, in any timeline or alternate reality. I'm done.

Thanks for riding it out with me!

Pix



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Review #7, by UnluckyStar57 A private dueling lesson from Headmaster Snape is the best birthday present any girl could ever hope for!

7th May 2013:
Hahahaha!!

I'm back (finally!) to review another crazy chapter!! :)

The sugar quill dream and Roderick's subsequent death are both quite dark for such silliness that abounds! It makes a really cool, hilarious contrast. I didn't see Peony's arrest coming at all--but it definitely makes sense, in a convoluted way. Before that, Peony's new attitude toward men is very spot-on histrionic, and she didn't back down, even when confronted with Blaise's monstrous pecs! Bellatrix's allergy to latex amused me the most, as did the description of Carrow as a toad!

As usual, this was a marvelously ridiculous chapter! :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks so much for coming back to the silliness! I don't know why, but I seem to enjoy juxtaposing the light and the dark in my writing. Either I have a hidden dark side, or my addiction to Oreo cookies has infiltrated my creative side. Who's to say? In most art forms, I really appreciate contrast.

Oh good! You're the first person to tell me that Peony's arrest surprised you. It was supposed to be surprising, so I'm happy it worked on someone. I'm also incredibly pleased that you found Peony's histronic-ness to be correct. When I wrote her, I knew what I was going for, but I didn't know the "clinical term" for it and ended up researching mental conditions for about two hours. I had hoped I picked the right one. :)

And Bellatrix's allergy... let's just nod and move on.

Carrow's toad-ness was a desperate attempt at adding a quick bout of character development without putting all the effort into giving him too much of a spotlight. If it was entertaining, I am relieved. :)

Thanks so much for another incredible review!


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Review #8, by caoty There are boys, and then there are boys... and then there is Draco Malfoy.

5th April 2013:
Hello~

I hadn't noticed that there's always a weird as hell dream in Mary-Sue fic which is going to vaguely prophecise Something Important until you parodied it. I learnt something new today! Seriously though, I honestly can't wait to see in what random context the glowing green alphabet come up again. Or even if they don't. I'm not very fussy.

The cookie-baking scene was genuinely adorable; Terrence's awareness of Peony's Peonyness and him still kinda liking her anyway is just cute, and I'm actually starting to hope they get together. Because Roderick is obviously cheating on her and Draco is using her. Obviously.

There is a point to this review, which is: your reconstruction of Mary-Sue tropes and blending them with the growing reality of war is nothing short of masterful.

Author's Response: Ah, hi there!

Haha! Actually, I had originally intended to use gratuitous flashback sequences, but something inside me tried to die when I attempted it. Hence, the dream sequence appeared. Aww, you liked the glowing green letters! That's cool.

Obviously all of those things are true. :) Because it just couldn't be any other way in a Mary Sue, right? Terrence is the epitome of every girl's dream to... well, that's in the last chapter, so I'll hold off on that instead of giving away spoilers.

Thanks so much for appreciating my story for what it is. I hope you get the chance to come back for more! This review was better than fudge cookies!


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Review #9, by UnluckyStar57 Girl talk, more sugar quills and secret passages

2nd April 2013:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

The very first thing I was going to comment on, funnily enough, was the "mouths taste like mouths" thing. I read that, and I was like TRU!! (Yeah, I know... I'm strange.) But really, incorporated into the story like that... So funny!! :)

The next thing? Ariana's love of birds. I like birds myself--in fact, I like to make fake bird hair clips and wear them IN PUBLIC--so I can sympathize with her love of birds. But even I think that finch manicures are just too cruel... Do Peony's finches even love her? She seems to put them through so much... Well-meaning torture?

But I do appreciate the fact that she shielded her bird's eyes when she caught Roderick and Pansy. Birds must not be robbed of their innocence and awesomeness by some illicit romance!!

Ginny and Luna's interaction with Peony was priceless. It's like, rational meets irrational and BANG, weirdness ensues. Especially when they discussed kissing!

Terrence! Where has he gone?! Mary Sue stories hurt my eyes (except for this one, of course!), so I don't read them as a general rule. But I guess plots and subplots have a way of disappearing in the (real) Mary Sue stories?

In any case, I'm quite glad that you mentioned his cookies. I hope to see him in later chapters!!

Another wildly-silly-while-at-the-same-time-being-kind-of-plot-driven chapter! Huzzah!

And also, it made me laugh when I read that you have a few betas helping you out, because it's like they've seen so much Mary Sue that they could write better Mary Sue than all the Mary Sue-ers do!! It must have been quite a hilarious project! :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response:
I knew the moment that I read that blog that those words had to go into a story somewhere. Sometimes the truth is funny. :)

I like birds to, you know? Not as much as Peony does, obviously, but I have clipped parakeet toes a bunch of times. It's tedious and the birds don't like it much. Yet, it's necessary.

I loved writing about the kissing. It just had to be that way. And don't fret about Terrence. He's still in the story, I promise. Him and his cookies. :)

My betas were extremely helpful with this story. It was quite the hilarious project! And I do have to credit them a lot. I couldn't have come up with all of these scenarios all by myself.

Thanks for another review!



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Review #10, by UnluckyStar57 Fudge

31st March 2013:
Yay, cookies!!

So, I should probably not be so amused by this chapter as I am, because it's kind of dark around the edges!!

You've put in so much juxtaposition between the creepily dark and the sickeningly light that it just makes my head spin... But in a good way, you know? :)

First of all, I pity Peony's finches. She kissed them? Those poor birds! If I were a bird, I would not wish to be kissed! However, Peony is that girl who trips along gaily, not noticing that she's left a burning village behind her. Silly child! She refuses to let go of her innocence, and that's what makes her so Mary Sue-ish. And so hilariously ridiculous!

Also... Lambie?!?!?! Is she schizophrenic?! I think she is, but there's no way of knowing for certain. She could also be bipolar, or suffering from dissociative identity disorder, or some crazy psychological disorder. Psychoanalysts would have a field day with her brand of craziness!!

The insult to Draco: Coconut conditioner? HAH! He's such a little poof! And he obviously has ulterior motives, bringing Peony to Madame Puddifoot's! Quite the little anti-gentleman, isn't he? :)

Madame Puddifoot's: A place of love, sickening love, the place where Peony should have been reunited with her one true love. But the juxataposition between the sickening pink and the horribly Death Eater-y clued me in to something fishy. Peony's innocence is about to be assaulted. Her knight in shining armour is really just a cad. An evil cad. I feel like the sugar quills are kind of a metaphor, but for what, I know not. They represent the innocence of sweet love that Peony used to feel, and now that they've been given away amidst a clamour of explosions, she turns into a harpy. Sad, sad child!

Aberforth: "Expecto Patronum, ya beastly lump o' pillow stuffing!" SUCH a tacky old man, with SUCH a brilliant insult! And he's given the story a twist! What will he ask for? He's like the Big Bad Wolf, conspiring with a jaded Red Riding Hood. It's things like these that make this Mary Sue, too-perfect-for-human-digestion story so awesome, on so many levels!

Anyways, I suppose I've rambled long enough! Happy Easter, and happy writing!!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Aw, it's okay to be amused by this chapter. If you're not, then I would consider it an epic failure on my part.

Yeah, I really liked that part about this story. Lambie was my favorite non-character brainstorm, hands down. She almost had her own character arc, but I didn't want the story to get any longer than it had to. And I did actually mean for Lambie to be magically infused by Peony's stepmother, so I really wasn't going for the psychoanalyst's dream here... though that works too. ;)

I loved playing with Draco too. Sometimes, I get annoyed that he even exists in this fandom. You can't blame a girl for working the pent up malice out of her system, can you?

Oh, I had such a wonderful time making Puddifoots into the wreck that it was. And yes, the sugar quills are symbolic. I'll leave you to take whatever you will from that. It's more fun that way. Haha! I loke your take on them anyway. It fits nicely with Peony's world-view, or rather, lack thereof.

Yeah, and Aberforth is such an underused character. More Aberforth fics!

Thanks so much for your thoughts on this chapter!

pix


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Review #11, by adluvshp An interrogation, another dream sequence, the final battle, and a requisite ball. What more could you ask for?

30th March 2013:
Hello there. Here for your requested review.

Ooh, congratulations on completing your short story =) I think you wrapped it up in a great way, so good job!

Aha I love the way you write him. He is really a brat but I enjoy reading your portrayal of him. It is very much in-character which is saying something for a parody.

Peony's nightmare was very vividly written. I could actually feel her fear which was great. I liked the way she made up her mind finally and decided to fight. It was very mary-sue-ish indeed, haha. Seriously speaking though, I loved how we saw Peony finally grow up over the seven chapters. She comes to terms with the reality here and it couldn't have been a more fitting end.

Over all, I think this final chapter really tied everything in properly. The humour was as always amazing, and I chuckled at a lot of places. Once again (as I have done many times before), I commend you on maintaining such a good balance between the parody/humour side of the story and the main plot.

It was a very dramatic, enjoyable, and well-written story and I enjoyed reading it overall. You're a talented writer, and with a little more polishing of your writing style, you can become one of the best. I'd love to see a non-parody fic from you some day and see how you do =)

Great chapter, and great story. I loved reading it. Thanks for requesting reviews from me!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response:

Thanks for the congrats. This was quite the story to tell. I'm glad you had fun reading it!

I struggled with where to go as far as Peony's character development. My first instinct was to do a deconstruction of sorts, where she gets all dark and angsty, but in the end, I let her be all the Mary Sue she could, and still let her grow up. I'm glad you found the end fitting for her.

I'm so happy that you were able to follow the plot through the whole story and that you felt there was an adequate balance between parody and story. That was my main challenge.

Thanks for reviewing the whole crazy thing! I should dig around on my author's page and see if there's anything else you might find interesting that isn't too long and labored. As far as my writing style goes, every time I write something new, I never know what kind of voice it's going to have. I guess it hasn't settled in just yet.

I really enjoyed your comments and suggestions through all of these chapters. Thanks a bunch!
pix


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Review #12, by Elphaba and Boyfriends A private dueling lesson from Headmaster Snape is the best birthday present any girl could ever hope for!

11th March 2013:
Aha! I thought Peony might be doing things at night without realizing it. :) I didn't have any clue that Pansy and her mother might be behind it, though, or that poor Squiggles had actually been killed by raspberry jam.

Pansy's dialog toward the end made me laugh -- "Everyone says it like it's a bad thing. My mother's magic is awesome!" Blaise's flexing and posing also made me laugh.

I've thoroughly enjoyed this story from the beginning, and now I'm looking forward to seeing how it will end. I have no idea how it will wrap up, so it's definitely not too predictable for me. :)

Author's Response: Ah, the element of surprise!! Boo! Haha.

Pansy was great fun. She's so nasty here. Blaise was also fun to include, especially the posing.

Oh good. If this story became predictable, then I definitely did something wrong. I'm so happy when someone enjoys the story like this!

Thank you! I can't wait to see what your thoughts are for Peony's epic conclusion.

pix


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Review #13, by Celtic_Dreamer7 I'm perfect and I know it... but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect.

1st March 2013:
Wow. It was quite an enjoyable chapter. Although it is hard to read someone who is so happy all the time. Its also hard to believe this person to be in Slytherin, lol. I didn't see any grammatical errors or misspelled words, the flow was nice and it was very humorous. I love the extremely long title. All in all a good read, quite enjoyable. Good job.

~Celtic~

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for coming by and reviewing!

This was definitely a fun thing to write. I'm glad you liked the title and all the silliness that I included. It's definitely a story to not take too seriously.

pix


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Review #14, by soapman333 I'm perfect and I know it... but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect.

1st March 2013:
How did I feel about this chapter? It's hilarious with the just the right amount of silliness!

I think my favorite part about your story is this chapter title :P "I'm perfect and I know it...but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect."

Author's Response: Hi there!

Sorry it took me so long to respond to your review. I found the rest of it too, so no worries! I'm glad it had the right amount of silliness mixed in. It was supposed to be incredibly over the top, but still have some kind of plot going on under the surface.

Thanks so much for your review!

pix


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Review #15, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Girl talk, more sugar quills and secret passages

27th February 2013:
Hi, Elphaba back again, because I really want to see how this story ends, now!

I thought this was an especially funny chapter: Peony giving her finches pedicures, then trying to make Ariana laugh with the story of her wand and ending up dancing in her underwear, the kissing discussion she has with Ginny and Luna and finally rushing off to save Roderick's hypothetical six-toed grandchildren.

The advice that Ginny and Luna giver her is actually really good and needed. I laughed out loud at Ginny's "mouths taste like mouths" line, and Luna's "And on a good day, slightly minty."

I love the gradual transformation that Peony has undergone throughout this story. She's so much of a Sue that she's practically an anti-Sue at this point; it's as if she's pushed so far to the Sue-end of the character spectrum that she's swung back around to the "Not Sue" end. :)

Author's Response: You're back!

I apologize for the lateness in this review response. RL, yadda, yadda... anyway...

I love your summary of this chapter. It really highlights the silliness that I infused into it.

Yes, Peony needed some sound advice from someone who wasn't trying to use her or kiss up to her. I thought that Ginny and Luna were the perfect characters to do this for Peony. I credited the "mouths taste like mouths" line in the chapter to a blog I read last year on HPFF that stuck with me. As soon as I read those words, I knew I had to use them somewhere.

I'm not sure that Peony is the anti-Sue yet, but she's definitely trying to reconcile her personal beliefs with the real world. It's a difficult task, but necessary if she wants to survive.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #16, by adluvshp A private dueling lesson from Headmaster Snape is the best birthday present any girl could ever hope for!

22nd February 2013:
Here for your requested review.

Another fun chapter indeed =) Before I go on about the story, let me say I loved your disclaimer at the end and it made me chuckle. Let's make a list indeed xP

I am enjoying Peony quite a lot and it is sad that her journey comes to an end in the next chapter. She really makes me laugh so much, that I don't know what I'd do after this story is over - no humour in my life!

This was as-ever quite well-written. I enjoyed your characters and setting. Astoria was absolutely revolting and yet cute and crazy and I liked how you wrote her.

And OMG, where do you come up with your amazing lines! "Unrequited love only leads to binge eating, and a proper Slytherin girl should never be caught with her mouth full." I laughed so hard at that, ghosh.

I loved how the plot has "deepened" - it continues to grow in an interesting manner which is great. I think I have said so in my all reviews so far, but really I am so pleased (and astonished) at your ability to maintain a coherent and interesting plot along with your humour, that I always feel the need to appreciate it in all my reviews. I am guilty of thinking that the cohesiveness of the plot may perhaps start taking the back-seat as the story progresses, but you have proved me wrong and I am so happy. I cant wait to see how it all ties together in the end =)

And of course, before I wrap up this review, I must give an honourable mention to Pansy as she definitely enhances the comedy in the scenario. Oh and of course, Snape deserves an honourable mention too! You do write him wonderfully, and I loved his 'role' in this chapter ;)

Once again, no criticism to give you! Good going! Feel free to re-request (as I am sure you will).

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Sorry it took me so long to get to this review response. I've had a lot of things on my plate these last few weeks.

Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying Peony and that she makes you laugh. Poor Astoria got caught in Peony's drama-backlash, but she's a big girl. She can handle it. :)

Unrequited love can make a person crazy. Haha! I don't know where that line came from, honestly. It just popped out and I immediately knew it was a keeper.

I guess this whole story was an exercise in plotting. I had these outrageous characters and this horrid Mary Sue concept, but I still wanted it to be a good story. I'm so happy that you feel the plot has held together so far.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my crazy story!

pix


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Review #17, by UnluckyStar57 There are boys, and then there are boys... and then there is Draco Malfoy.

20th February 2013:
So. Much. Melodrama!!

Peony is just the same perfect creature as ever, that's for certain! Her mysterious dream is so full of angst that you could make Angst Soup with it, I think!!

As for the sloth "insult"... Bwahahahahahahaha!! Mind if I use that next time I need to insult someone? :)

Really, this chapter was another crazy read. The green graffiti on the wall reminded me of Chamber of Secrets a little, and I wasn't surprised to learn that Terrence has a checklist for things he sees on the crime scene. What a silly detective!!

Does Peony even know how to cook? Her distress was quite evident in the kitchen because the ingredients she took out were barely even edible! There seems to be a clue presenting itself as she mentions the raspberry jam, but Terrence is too caught up in her beauty to really notice it.

Another amazingly cliche and parody-esque chapter! I love it!

(P.S. What if you were writing this with serious intent, and I just insulted you?! That would be quite awkward and sad.) :)

Goodbye for now!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response:

Oh hey!

First off, if I were writing this with serious intent, please shoot me now. I can't tell you how many times I had to stop writing just to collect myself off the floor after a good giggle fit. I tried to have at least three good ones every chapter, so if you're at least smiling, then I'm alright. :)

Wow, you thought that dream was angsty?? I've always wondered if I could write angst. I guess I can. Haaha!

Go ahead and use that sloth insult all you want. If it works, let me know. Peony definitely doesn't have a clue in the kitchen, but she's not going to come out and tell anyone that. I'm so glad you are laughing along with me in this chapter. I hope I can persuade you to come back for more.

Thanks for another great review!


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Review #18, by Gabriella Hunter A private dueling lesson from Headmaster Snape is the best birthday present any girl could ever hope for!

15th February 2013:
Hello!

Back again with your requested review and long live fluffy pink unicorns! :D I would have attacked this sooner but I've been busy with actual real life issues that really suck! D':
Like, seriously?
Anyway, so we're back with Peony and her issues with being perfectly perfect and angsty. I think that the beginning of this with her sugar-quill induced nightmare set up the rest of the chapter very well. I never would have guessed from reading this that she was actually killing people in her dreams, completely not on purpose! That's pretty darn awful but genius, I've never seen that done before so that was really neat! :D
But goodness, she really is starting to see the bigger picture of things. I like that you had her shifting her attention away from charity events and marathons to what's actually happening around her.
When she snapped at Astoria, I don't believe it was simply because she didn't want to hear about boys or see Blaise flexing his muscles. For some reason, that whole little bit with Blaise just had my dying and yes, why didn't anyone ask how he knew about Mrs. Lestrange's allergies with latex? ;)
I think I died laughing right then.
But Terrence showed up soon after I came back to life and what horrible news! Roderick is dead?! And he brought cookies?! Hahaha.
It feels like everything is going downhill for poor Peony but I do like that we got more on what was happening with the case. Very suspicious business and we finally know what killed poor Squiggles! So Pansy though, has been trying to kill Peony for a while now and she got arrested?! How is she going to get out of this one, I'm pretty sure her finch's can't save her now! D':
And Draco is awful, wanting to use Peony but I think he was showing some character by not falling in line with Pansy's idea.
Oh! I shall also say that Pansy and Peony's fight and Snape's advice was hilarious.
Ahem.
So, this ending! What's going to happen now, I wonder? Terrence's bum has been kicked out of Hogwarts, Peony has been convicted of murder and Pansy is related to a hag! Hahahaha.
Very good though, I loved the entire thing and think that this is probably the funniest thing I've read in a long time. No CC's either! :D
And Lambie died! Murdered!! I just thought of that again! Oh, the horror...
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response:

First off, you are awesome.

I just had to get that out of the way. I'm so glad you were able to wrestle yourself away from that nasty RL and come back to innocent little Peony and her pretty problems. :)

Ahh, you didn't see that coming? That's awesome! Really. It is. She is starting to understand that the world around her isn't all pink fluffy unicorns and she'd better get with the program or she's gonna be snuffed out like a stub of a candle. That comment by Astoria really is the last straw for her. You are so right. Things have gotten so bad in Peony's world that she can't hide behind her community service projects any longer.

Oh, and there you go again being awesome. I was wondering how many people were going to pick up on Blaise's comment. Can you believe that it took me a LOOONG time to figure out how to sneak that in there and still have a 15+ story? *innocent blink*

Anyway... Terrence is a sweetheart, bringing bad news and cookies like that. I'm pretty sure the finches aren't going to sway Snape at all. Peony is in deep trouble, but not before her valuable dueling lesson. :) I loved writing that part.

Again, I have enjoyed your awesome review! I'm so happy that you are enjoying reading this story. Thanks so much!


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Review #19, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Fudge

13th February 2013:
Hi, Elphaba here again!

As expected, this chapter had plenty of moments that made me laugh, like this one: "He's going to soil you, Peony, and you know it." :)

The section with Lambie was funny, but it also made me wonder whether Peony has multiple personality disorder. Could it have been her who put Pansy's bear in the Gryffindor common room, and killed Squiggles and the Gryffindor boys?

There's a lot I liked in this chapter: Peony questions the Death Eaters and gets her feelings hurt, the Slytherins form an anti-DA, and Madam Puddifoots gets smashed up. :) Peony's very silly, but I feel sympathy for her, anyway.

I liked her interaction with Aberforth, too, and laughed at "...now and then I miss the old fart." Aberforth's accent reminded me more of Hagrid's, though, with the "ya's" and "yer's" ... is this intentional?

Either way, I wonder what his proposition will be? I'm going to try and get to the next chapter within the next day or two, because I'm enjoying this story a lot! :)

Author's Response:

Lambie was my favorite invention in this whole story. She actually does talk, but it makes Peony look silly when they're having a conversation. Haha! I love that you think Peony would have hard feelings against Pansy's bear!

I didn't intentionally make Aberforth sound like Hagrid. I did want him to come across as a little slushed, so I hope it's alright. that way.

Yay! It's always gratifying when someone enjoys this story. I don't know how it happened, but I sometimes feel a little sympathetic towards Peony too.

Thanks for another great review! I can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter!


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Review #20, by patronus_charm Girl talk, more sugar quills and secret passages

13th February 2013:
Hello Im here with you requested review!

You mentioned that Peony gave herself a finch pedicure, I was kind of confused by that, as I wasnt sure whether you meant a French pedicure, or whether this was an actual thing!

It was funny how easily Peony could be bribed into doing anything, as if she could be so easily won over by teacakes and peach marmalade, I dread to think what she would do if she was offered something extravagant as a diamond.

I liked this change in Peony and that she could now stand up against Roderick, and her internal alarm in her, it was nice to see that she was developing some mental strength. I liked her descriptions of the rule breakers, in her head. It was funny to see them all with a dismissive tone in her head, as were all so used to seeing them be good friends.

One quick thing, I thought Dean was in hiding for the whole of 7th year, so I was slightly confused about him being there.

Hahaha I loved that bit when Peony was talking to Arianna. The fact that she took off her underwear, I mean what would possess someone to strip in public? And then for Ginny and Luna to catch her off all people, I thought it was a great twist, and definitely put a spin on Mary-Sue!

I really loved that scene with her and Ginny and Luna afterwards it was nice to see that even though they are meant to enemies they could possibly be friends. I thought that bit about Luna and Neville seemed a bit OTT at first, then the idea grew on me as it seems like some sort of spontaneous kindness she would do!

I liked the bit at the end as well, and how she was trying to fight the thoughts about finding Draco attractive, it made me LOL in my head. You really have made her into a special character, and shes just lovely and endearing. And also that twist at the end, I wasnt expecting that! Im glad that she chose the good side instead of the bad, as she does seem to have a nice heart.

I thought this was a great chapter, and it had lots of twists, which I love. Peony really seems to be coming into her own in this chapter, and its great to see. I just hope her first kiss is with Terrence ;)

Author's Response:

Oh, haha! There isn't such a thing as a "finch pedicure". What I meant was that she was giving pedicures to her finches. Maybe I need to clarify that.

I don't know if Peony would do stuff for diamonds or not. That's an interesting proposition, though I'd caution you against propositioning Peony at the improper time.

Yeah, I fudged on Dean. Shhh! Don't tell anyone! I really loved writing the bit with Luna and Ginny. Gosh, people really don't cut Luna any slack, do they? Of course she'd be spontaneous like that. But hey, Luna is so difficult to nail down. I did my best.

I did try to make this as twisty as I could without breaking the Mary Sue mold. I'm glad you appreciated that! Thanks again for another great review!


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Review #21, by adluvshp Girl talk, more sugar quills and secret passages

13th February 2013:
Hi again! Here for your requested review. I am going to review as I read along this time, so I hope it doesn't come across as too incoherent!

Peony has a part-time yoga instructor?! Just what was lacking in Miss Perfect's life ;) And oh dear, the horrid situation where tea cakes would become unattainable and students addicted to them would need the passage, definitely a situation of dire need xP The bird goes with her underthings and Ariana wants to see them? I think I might just die of laughing so hard!

Oh dear, poor Peony. Her dreams of a kiss being like honey or candy or cherries or anything else romance-book-cliched are dashed! Ooh and now Miss perfect is going to get into some rule-breaking with Ginny and Luna yay :P

Peony got a whiff of Draco's awesome cologne! *giggle* "Theodore Nott had an alluring Im-a-loner-and-I-like-to-appear-aloof vibe." I think I am going to die laughing. Peony, just kiss Draco already!!

*gasp* Draco has a dark mark! Peony's perfect world illusions are shattered! And then Rhoderick and Pansy! Oh the terrible has happened.

Lol. Anyway, if you didn't get it already, I enjoyed this chapter immensely. I loved the way things turned out. The ending was just awesome. I am eager to see the plot thicken further, though I understand that you need to have some of these totally humorous chapters too before getting to the main interesting parts. Good work though! Not overdone at all.

The grammar and all was pretty okay. The narrative was enjoyable, and the flow was smooth and nice! I love how you're using all these cliches too!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi there!

Poor Peony needs to make sure she's covered in case of an emergency. I'm sure she's just looking out for her future needs. She really will go to great lengths for herself, right? And people wondered why she was in Slytherin!

The main "interesting parts" are indeed coming up very soon. I tried to have some kind of cohesive plot as I went along with all the cliches. I'm glad you found the narrative and flow to be alright. I'm always nervous about that.

Thanks so much for continuing to read this insane story!


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Review #22, by adluvshp Fudge

12th February 2013:
Here for your requested review again!

Haha, I quite enjoyed this chapter too! Ah, poor Peony and her sad romantic life. I do feel so sad for her. And oh the precious sugar quills!

"Hed promised that he would save his sugar quills for her, just her, and only her, and hed given away an entire box to everyone else." This had me cracking, haha.

Oh, and of course, Lambie. After the demise of her little house-elf companion, she got herself a new one! How very fitting xP

Well, I don't know much else to say. I think you have the whole thing going on really well. The way the plot is playing out is quite funny, and yet coherent enough (for a Mary-Sue parody at least). Peony's character is downright hilarious, and I enjoyed the way you incorporated the poor guy who broke her heart (all she did was hold hands and eat sugar quills with him after all, cant blame him, but then she's so perfect and she wanted him to be chivalrous! Oh how to decide between the right and wrong)! *giggles* Back to the story, I quite liked the chapter and the "action" in it. The ending was intriguing, and I love the situation you have Peony in.

All in all, you're doing a pretty good job of writing this so keep going.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hellooo!

I think Lambie was my favorite to write. She almost got her own character arc, but I held myself back. I'm so glad you are finding the plot funny AND coherent. That is clearly my greatest worry.

The "action" was also really fun to write. I think I had some pent up angst-filled china issues to work out. This did the trick.

Thanks so much for your review!


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Review #23, by MissMdsty An interrogation, another dream sequence, the final battle, and a requisite ball. What more could you ask for?

12th February 2013:
Hello dear! After having read and reviewed every chapter of this story, the last one seems to have slipped by me like Peony's perfection at the hands of the Great Battle. But you knew and I'm here to right that wrong with your requested review!

I found this last chapter to be very fitting for the whole mood and atmosphere of the story. In the beginning, Peony was given her first true taste of the real world, when not only did people think she was lying, one of the boys she liked tried to kill her! And here I am reviewing the main character of a Mary-Sue parody. Eh, stranger things have happened.

This was a hilarious chapter, as usual and I found myself doubling over in laughter more than once. The artifact of Slytherin was a very nice touch, that showed us just how important the character really is (not that we didn't know that already).

And the truth is finally revealed! And I'm talking about the pronounciation of her name. I guess with a name like that you should marry the only guy who can say it right.

But jokes aside (for a moment), I like how in the end Peony embraced her imperfections and understood that there are more important things in life than homework and little birds. The line that showed me that (and my favorite by the way) was I was such a silly little school girl and you were an unhinged, self-absorbed prat." Awww, our little princess is all grown up!

I know you asked if it was over the top, but dear, this is a parody! And the best I've ever read, come to think of it! It's supposed to be over the top, dramatic in a funny way, absurd and simply ridiculous! You humor is amazing and I am in awe of it right now! I wish I were that funny!

So congratulations to you for completing such an amazing and funny story (I guess it's no use trying to beg for a sequel, right?) and I'm looking foward to reading more humor stories from you!

Ral

Author's Response: Hi there! You made it to the end!!


Hahaha! Poor Peony couldn't be perfect enough in the end. And with someone who she'd been almost ready to put lips on trying to kill her, what's a girl to do?? It's alright. I won't tell anyone that you're reviewing a Mary Sue. Your secret is safe with me. ;)

Yes, Terrence is a perfect match for Peony. If you don't think too hard about it. She did finally learn something about herself, and she did eventually grow. I hope that doesn't make her any less a Mary Sue, though. Or maybe it does... at any rate, it was important to the story, so I had to let it happen.

Thanks for appreciating my strange humor and laughing with me about this story. It was incredibly fun to write (and also incredibly irritating at times too) and I'm sincerely glad it's over, so sorry, no sequel. Haha. I'm done. Though I might try my hand at humor again sometime, my next project is shaping up to be "something different". We'll see how that goes.

Your reviews are great! Thanks again!


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Review #24, by adluvshp There are boys, and then there are boys... and then there is Draco Malfoy.

9th February 2013:
Here for your requested review!

I was pleased to read this another very fun-to-read chapter! The ridiculousness in this chapter really had me chuckling a lot and it was great how you threw in all the weirdness/randomness. I am really enjoying reading Terrence particularly xD And of course, Draco is really fun to read too. I love the way you have played around with his character and incorporated him into your plot. And then we have Peony too, her personality is so hilariously crazy in itself, its hard not to enjoy reading her (crazy in a good mary-sue way).

As I mentioned in my previous review (I think), its great that you are maintaining a balance between the humour in the story (or I should say, the parody side of the story) and the actual proper plot that stops the readers from getting bored, good work!

As for whether it is too over the top, nope definitely not. It is over-the-top yes, but in a very good way and if it were any less, the main parody element in your story would go away. I think you have really used so many cliches and mary-sue stuff in a very nice way, so keep going the way it is!

I am not sure what is up with the murder stuff, but it seems like an interesting mix to your crazy plot, so I'd say carry on with it ;) It seems to add an air of suspense to the story, and adds a little seriousness to the over all lightness of things, which is a superb original thing for a parody story like yours.

All in all, I really liked this chapter and I think so far I see the story going in a great direction. I didn't find any errors either, and I have nothing to criticise =)

9/10

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi there!

You are really a trooper for coming back and reviewing again. Thanks so much!

Draco the slimeball is what I was going for here. Also, Terrence the novice detective and Peony who defies all other description beyond perfectly perfect. Haha!

It's so good that you think I've maintained the intensity and balance so far in chapter 3. I keep fearing that every chapter has the potential to go down hill. MAry Sues can get tiresome very quickly.

Thanks so much for another review!


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Review #25, by Gabriella Hunter Girl talk, more sugar quills and secret passages

9th February 2013:
HellO!

I'm so sorry that its taken me so long to get back to this story, you'll have to forgive me. :( Real life issues, coupled with me wanting to write more of my work and being just plain lazy have kept me from reading and reviewing very much. :p
But here we are with Peony again and she's as dense and hilarious as ever. I think her little bargain with Aberforth was probably the funniest thing because she just didn't seem to gather that anything more suspicious was going on. Honestly, doing her marathons and such have exhausted her alot and she didn't find anything wrong with helping make a tunnel? Hahahha.
The fact that she was still going on about Roderick was hilarious. She feels not like herself with being jilted and that bit of arrogance and girl-angst was great to read--oh, the feels. Sugar quills weren't enough! Hahaha.
And my goodness, how did you write that little scene with her stripping for Arianna without dying with laughter? That was too funny, I swear I didn't see it coming at all and I like the mention of her finch matching her underthings. Hahhaaha. Peony has so much time on her hands and is always color-cordinated. Hahahhha.
On other bits, I think the fact that she's so self-absorbed and sort of silly keeps this going and lightens up the serious moments very well. The bit with Luna and Ginny were so funny and Peony's thoughts about kisses made me burst out laughing.
Ginny and Luna are just super patient. Hahahha.
Mouths taste like mouths.
Hahhahaa.
I think the last bit with her realizing the full horror of Voldemort's regime was really good. While picking on old people and tax evasion is very serious business, the fact that you tied in actual fear in this really got to me. Comedy is always great with a bit of angst and darkness in my opinion and I hope Peony knows what she's doing when she joins the DA. Will she doom them all? Hahhahaa.
All in all, this was a really good chapter. Still funny and I enjoyed Peony's interaction with Ginny and Luna and the little hint of her interest for Draco.
So funny...
I'm going to be laughing at this all day.
Much love and thanks for the read,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi again!

Don't worry about the RL issues. I have more than my share of those. I'm just glad you're back and reviewing again!

Peony was definitely single-minded during her conversation with Aberforth. She was desperate to get those teacakes, what with Roderick being such a big disappointment. Girl-angst is just what she needed.

That scene with Ariana was something I really challenged myself with. I wanted to include the cliche of the leading lady prancing around in her underwear, but Peony would never do such a thing without good cause. I tried to make it as innocent as possible, to keep her in character. I'm glad you didn't see it coming either. Haha!

If you get a chance, you can look up the blog titled "Mouths taste like mouths", where I borrowed that line from. It was in my head for months before I found a place for it. I asked the author of the blog for permission to use it almost half a year before I finally posted this chapter. I just knew it would have the perfect place in this story.

I hope Peony knows what she's doing with the DA too. We wouldn't want all of that talent to go to waste and lose the war. That would be a shame.

So happy you enjoyed this chapter!

pix


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