Reading Reviews for The Ally
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by J21 Chapter 4

9th April 2004:
Poor Malfoy... :( I always thought his father would sell him out...evil bastard.... But this chapter was great, keep writing!! Even the Wiccan is tolerable. But like I said before, give her a personality! The other characters already have a personality, and we kind of know them from the books, but we don't know the girl. How does she interact with people? WHat drives her? What are her dreams? Her hopes? Her fears? Who does she care about? What would she kill for or die for? Make her more 3D so we can get to know her. But your writing is great. Please write more!!

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Review #2, by J21 Chapter 1

9th April 2004:
Same as before, but I'll stop dissing the Wiccan. The story is well written; you're one of the few authors who knows what commas are, or can spell, won't use run-ons, and can keep everything in the right tenses. I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to read something through fluently, without having to sift through the bad English! Keep up the good work (aside from the Wiccan! J/k, I actually liked her better in this chapter. But give her a personality; make her more human.)

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Review #3, by J21 Chapter 1

9th April 2004:
I like the part about Snape and Sirius being friends, but a 15 year old in the Order? I don't think Dumbledore would make that exception....If he wouldnt make it for Harry Potter (who better learn all he can to kick You-Know-Who's behind), he wouldnt make it for anyone. (Maybe I just dont like the WIccan)

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Review #4, by J21 Chapter 1

9th April 2004:
Well writted. Good story, except I think the Wicca girl shouldnt have been in the story; I'm one of those people who doesn't like charachters the author makes up that they would like to be. I also don't like all-powerful characters; everyone is flawed; everyone is human. But the story is much more well written than most. Maybe rewrite a version minus the Wicca chick, and focus more on Draco Malfoy? (hehehe...Slyherin fan... : )

Author's Response: hey, the wiccan has hidden sides. just wait and see. i don't do perfect characters- totally boring. and draco is part of the main plot

Author's Response: thank u 4 ur response. this is my first fic!

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