And back for one more chapter!
Oh you have to love teenage angst! The popular, good looking athletic jock had the nerve to ask out our heroine and not be interesting enough! Oh the horrors!
But luckily, our poor heroine was witty and sarcastic enough to secure the love of the canon character that we all knew was inevitable!
This was a really enjoyable read, thanks again for entering the challange!Author's Response: That Kale boy has some nerve, doesn't he? How disrespectful. Terrible! Terrible! We must hunt him down and make him pay for his infractions against the perfect and sweet and innocent Gabby! Where's my pitchfork and torch?
Haha, this review is making me giggle. Yes, THANK GOODNESS Gabby had her wits about her. I was worried about her and her perfection for a minute there.
Well, thanks in advance for the three reviews I will be procuring from you for getting third place :P. I'm glad you enjoyed this Mary Sue fic. To be honest, I think I could have done more (like to the level of my Dramione parody, which I still read sometimes and giggle at) but I was just like, cranking this fic out.
Anyway. Thanks again! :D Report Review
i thought your story was adorable!
it was a good short story and had very good potential for a longer story if you wanted.
very cute. i really enjoyed reading it :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! I probably could have written a longer story, but I just didn't have it in me! Thank you for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :) Report Review
you should continue it!it's really cute!i wanna know how they continue their relationship!and drama should happen like someone tries to kiss gabby and al punches them or something that has DRAMA!but really your a great writer and this is a great story that should be continued!Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much for all the lovely compliments! To be honest, I probably won't continue this story any further. HOWEVER, I write a lot of next gen and within the next few days I will be posting a next gen fic called Witch Hunt that I'm really excited about! And I've got a few other next gen fics on my plate so there should be some in the near future! Thank you so much for reviewing I really appreciate it. Report Review
Ahh the classic Hogsmeade date. Gabby is definetely quite the Mary Sue if I may say so. In the course of my field research, I've realised that Mary Sue's tend to have different characteristics depending on which era they are in. Maurader Sues are usually either a nice quiet girl that convinves sirius to stop being a playboy or a "fifth marauder" prankster. Hogwarts era Sues tend to have improbable connections to canon characters, often sirius' daughter or harry's twin sister. And as for next-gen, its always the quirky and saracastic girl that somehow has all the popular guys interested in her. And you have nailed that absolutely perfectly here.
Also, I have to give you credit for the fact that despite all the cliches you've intentionally included, this can actually still stand up as a legitimate story, and its definetely a fun and enjoyable read.
Thanks for entering the challenge!Author's Response: Gabby is definitely a Mary Sue. She doesn't have any flaws that I can think of, except that she is in love with Albus who in this story doesn't seem to really have all that many charms at all. AT LEAST KALE WAS ENTERTAINING, GABBY. Albus just has emerald orbs (I think that comes into play a lot in the next/final chapter which I will be posting as soon as I finish typing this response). And yeah, those are definitely fairly accurate observations about the different Mary Sues of every era. And you know, some people can totally pull off writing characters with those personalities. But sometimes they're just total Gabbys.
Thanks! I'm glad you think so! I actually did enjoy writing this story. Which I did reallyyy quickly, so hopefully there aren't too many errors.
I'll be posting the final chapter now! Don't know if you'll get around to reading it before you judge the winners, but it's full of typical happy ending gooey goodness. Report Review
Finally here to review your challenge entry!
So right off the bat I have to say that this story pretty much resembles the majority of next-gen stories I've read, and of course it features the ultimate next gen hallmark; the "witty and sarcastic" OC.
You presented the typical OC's conundrum excellently, poor Gabby, it's such a disaster that a popular and athletic guy is getting in the way of her ineviatble romance with a canon character. Also, I love how every guy seems to be a quidditch captain, so typical. And how they haven't been to clas yet, but they have a Hogsmeade weekend already, another great cliche.
Looks good so far, thanks for entering the challenge!Author's Response: Hey there!
Oh yes. Gabby is very witty. There is so much wit in her body that she actually doesn't blood because there is no room for it. Just wit. Jury's still out on why she's alive still.
LOL YES. GABBY'S LIFE IS SO SAD OMG. And she's all woe is me, Albus doesn't love me so I better go out with the Ravenclaw quidditch captain instead. And yes, the qudditch captain rivalry is obviously very important. And yeah, Hogsmeade weekends happen when I want them to happen. Not when it's logical. And classes? WHO NEEDS THOSE?
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I don't think this story is silly I really like it despite it being slightly cliched so I really hope you choose to extend it past one more chapter!!! Quite a prominent write on hpff once told me that it's worth continuing a story even if you only have one fan because one fan quickly grows into more so please continue it I'll be your fan :PAuthor's Response: Aww, thanks so much! I really appreciate it! To be honest, I probably won't be extending it past 3 total chapters. It's fun to write - and relatively easy - but I've got a few others fic on my plate that I'm working on and the challenge this one is for is over in a couple days, so I'd like to finish it by then. But thank you so much! I'm really pleased that you enjoy it! If this fic doesn't fully appease you when it's all over, I'll be posting a fic called Witch Hunt very shortly. Thanks again! (: Report Review
That was great!! I really like it. When are they going to get together?!?! Please keep on going!! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks! And you'll just have to wait and see, I suppose. I'll probably be updating really quickly. Probably. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection