60 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jerryfs1 Boris and Natasha and an Angry Kreacher

29th March 2015:
the chapters just keep getting better all the time this was a great one thanks

 Report Review

Review #2, by jerryfs1 The Honeymoon

27th March 2015:
well written and great story

Author's Response: Thank you.

Regular reviewers are very special.


 Report Review

Review #3, by jerryfs1 Chocolate Frog Cards and Weddings

25th March 2015:
great chapter well done thanks.

Author's Response: Thank you!


 Report Review

Review #4, by chas Ch 30 More duties but a vacation too.

24th March 2015:
Victoria Cross and OBE not the same thing!!!

Author's Response: I thought I had done a good job of researching this, but will look at this again.

 Report Review

Review #5, by chas Ch 28 Some progress

24th March 2015:
remus & narcissa not accurate - should be remus & TONKS.

Author's Response: I am very suprised that no one has caught that mistake before now. I am going to be correcting it.

Thank you!


 Report Review

Review #6, by jerryfs1 Classes and Trials

23rd March 2015:
very exiting chapter thanks

Author's Response: I did not know if I could write exciting chapters when I started. Thank you for the review.


 Report Review

Review #7, by b_lewis61 Ch 21 Romania

22nd March 2015:
It's been a few more chapters since my last review so figured I would leave one. I am enjoying the story so far and it seems to have a lot of promise for what is to come; that said I so have a few things I want to critique.

First, in the books Fluer never spoke in broken English. Yes, she had a strong accent but she still used proper English. The closest to broken English you see in the books is Victor among Wizards and Dobby among creatures. It is just a bit hard to read and is out of character in Fluers case.

Second, and a bigger gripe in my case, is that it seems like everything we hear about Ginny revolves around sex and Harry. While her relationship with Harry is certainly an important part of her character she is a much more in depth person and you do her and your story a disservice by limiting her this way. I get the feeling that much of this particular story is meant to center around their getting over some of the unrealistic expectations of their relationship (or at least that seems the main thrust so far) and I am hoping that the future stories are a bit more action but so far I am a little disappointed in your version of Ginny (which seems to be little more than an oversexed insecure girl).

Last thing and this is really small, it seems that all of the new characters you bring in are overwhelmingly American. I understand you are American (as am I) so it may be easier to right characters that are but it is a British story so its a bit odd to see so many Americans running around. Like I said this is a tiny thing though.

Overall I am enjoying the story and I do see a lot of potential so I hope you don't see this as a flame job review, it's not meant to be. Looking forward to reading more.

(I apologize for the horrible spelling and grammer by the way, I'm typing on my phone.)

Author's Response: Ginny ends up as quite an independent woman in some sense, with the Quidditch career and then writing for the Prophet. She is still Molly's daughter, and can be a bit of a tiger mother when it comes to defending her children.

I may have added too many American's at the start of the story. There are other characters, including a group of oriental characters. I had Al VanLente's whole family in the first draft, but took them out. You end up meeting them as the story progresses.

I really do not see it as a flame review. I wrote a first draft of the entire 19 years, started developing and posting it, and then started over. I'm not inclined to redo the story again, but I am very aware that it has a lot of things I would change if I had to do it over. Some of my favorite authors, like Mrs_Granger, had been writing for a long time before doing a Harry Potter story. Mrs_Granger is posting an original story on wattpad dot com.

Thank you so much for the long review. I may not change the written part of the story, but I will remember your comments in my futire writing.


 Report Review

Review #8, by Leah Ch 22 Memory Training and Magic Spaces

21st March 2015:
I really enjoyed the writing about the map

Author's Response: The map and mapping stay important in the story. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'm also grateful you are still reviewing. Thank you.


 Report Review

Review #9, by Leah The Wedding

21st March 2015:
I am enjoying this story it's great

Author's Response: Thank you again.


 Report Review

Review #10, by jerryfs1 Where do we live?

20th March 2015:
another great chapter also learning more about #12 Grimmuld place is very cool and the new Burrow sounds great. love it

Author's Response: The Harry Potter Lexicon hp-lexicon dot org has a lot of obscure facts and a really good index of things like characters and spells. It is very helpful for a writer of Harry Potter Fan Fiction. It is rumored that even Rowling referred to it when writing her last books. That's where I got most of my information about Grimmauld Place.

Grimmauld place is,if you sound it out, Grim Old Place. With the help of my beta we have named the street on the other side of the block Newbright Street.

Eventually I will describe the whole property around The New Burrow. It is close to the mouth of the Otter River in England.

Thank you for the reviews! I hope to keep you iterested.


 Report Review

Review #11, by jerryfs1 Bodyguards and a Hostage

20th March 2015:
this was an amazing chapter Al sounds like a good guy thanks for all your hard work

Author's Response: Al and his whole family are really good people. Al is under a lot of pressure right now, because of the terrible state of the British Ministry. You will meet more of his family eventually.

Thank you for the review.


 Report Review

Review #12, by b_lewis61 Greeting the grieving

19th March 2015:
This is the first new fanfic I have read in a while and so far I am impressed. Your writing has kept me enthralled and wanting to read more and I can't wait to see where the story leads. The one critique I would give is your use if exclamation points is somewhat overdone in my opinion, but that is just a personal preference I think.

One last note, I find it not too surprising that you draw inspiration from two of my favorite fanfic authors (Mrs_Granger and seeker68) given that while your world is certainly different your style is similar. Keep up the great work! (Though at this point the story is long completed so I guess you already did).

Author's Response: If you like Mrs_Granger's writing she has an excellent original story at wattpad dot com. Look for cpstabell. Tell her I sent her. Her tapestry is in my story, with, of course her permission.

I am just posting the fourth of four ninteen year stories. I will get to the train ride. Albus's years at Hogwarts will be more of a challenge.

Thank you for your review. I'm never going to finish if I go back and fix eveything. I am still working full time, despite having just turned 70, and need to keep going. It helps to have a beta, although I could use one more critical of the writing.

Thank you again! (That overused ! sorry.)


 Report Review

Review #13, by jerryfs1 The Elves Funeral and Harry’s talk with his Mum

16th March 2015:
Great chapter thanks for the story

Author's Response: Thank you. I am trying to write a canon 19 year story. Reviews make me feel maybe I'm not too far off.

 Report Review

Review #14, by jerryfs1 Harry tells his story

14th March 2015:
love it a great chapter and great story

Author's Response: I try to respond to every review. If you have any questions I will re-read the chapter and try to answer. I even correct the occasional mistake people find.

Thank you again for the review.


 Report Review

Review #15, by BellatrixLover3 Meanwhile, at Gringotts and back at the Ministry

17th December 2014:
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️! I ❤️ This!!! I wanted a realistic story that showed how the aftermath affected Harry and I got one!

Author's Response: Interesting name. Bellatrix does not go gently into that long dark night, but you only find out what happens at the end of my second story.

I thought that someone could do a better job. Mrs_Granger with her two stories on this site does an excellent job. She is not writing Harry Potter fan fiction any more. There are a couple of excellent authors on other sites.

I did not want the story too light or dark. Please let me know what you do like and what you do not. My current Beta FriendofMolly and I love reviews.

Thank you so much for your kind review.

(I promist you Draco and Hermione will never even like each other!)

 Report Review

Review #16, by Golikebooks Meanwhile, at Gringotts and back at the Ministry

1st December 2014:
I'm liking the basis of the story but I feel the dialogue needs to be smoothed out a bit. Some of the things the characters are saying or thinking read like they are shouting them and others are a bit broken or rushed. Most of the things involving Ginny is where it's most notable. But like I said I do like the flow of the story so far. Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review so soon into reading. I have had a lot of Beta help, but am down to one beta reader now. I'm always willing to listen to more suggestions. You will see by looking at my stories that this is my second attempt at writing a long saga, plotted out past Albus's Hogwarts career. At some time you just have to post.

I really appreciate reviews, and answer every one. Thank you for starting my saga.

Jet LaBarge

 Report Review

Review #17, by Ainsley Meanwhile, at Gringotts and back at the Ministry

5th August 2014:
Great job!! I am so addicted already. I loved how you brought fawkes back to hogwarts! I have a feeling there is going to be a lack of sleep for me until I finish.

Author's Response: Fawkes, like a lot of minor characters, does not dissappear but is not a major character. He is at all major fights, but there are not very many of them.

Like you I have been caught up in reading stories through to the end.

Thank you for your review. Please let me know what you like and what you do not like. I take readers comments seriously.


 Report Review

Review #18, by slightly odd kat Who is going to Hogwarts in the Autumn?

2nd April 2014:
Autumn not fall. Please!

Author's Response: I'm not sure I have enough energy to change things now, but I did let my Beta know. She catches things like that.

I really need a British Beta to help keep me from writing "American."

Thank you for the review!


 Report Review

Review #19, by slightly odd kat The Elves Funeral and Harry’s talk with his Mum

2nd April 2014:
This may be me being an assertive, northern, socialist, trade unionist; but respecting your "betters" is something old and outdated and just plain wrong. Especially when someone's "betters" are predominantly white posh males who have no idea how the other half live *cough* the ConDem government *cough cough*. I hold as much respect for them as they do for me. This is not, in my experience an uncommon view. In fact we have a word for people who break strikes because they think the rich know best. Apologies for my little rant, I think your story is very good; but things like that annoy me.

Author's Response: First, thank you for a second review.
I agree that Cindy's respect for her "betters" is misplaced. I see Vernon Dursley as the kind of boss you would hate, and for all the right reasons. I'm probably pretty far to the "Left" for someone who owns a business and employs people.

Part of my all too long and complex story is about the freeing of the house elves, who in time become Elves.

Keep on ranting! Loved the review.

Jet LaBarge

 Report Review

Review #20, by Neo Battle Day

23rd February 2014:
To start with, Molly does not use the killing curse on Bellatrix. Also the characters doesn't really feel like the real ones, it's hard to explain but they don't pop in the same way as in the books. I'm sure it'll get better over time since this is just the first chapter though.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am sorry I did not respond right away, but I have been busy with other things.

Everybody has a different take on the characters. I do try to stay true to "Canon," Harry with Ginny, Hermione with Ron, and as true to the way they were portrayed as possible.

I might suggest the two stories by Mrs_Granger if you want true to the books characters. She does as good a job as anyone, as far as I am concerned.

 Report Review

Review #21, by Cicero_daredevil Meanwhile, at Gringotts and back at the Ministry

16th October 2013:
Commentary on the two weeks is a continuity break for the reader befor it happens

Author's Response: Sorry if what I wrote is confusing.

Jet LaBarge

 Report Review

Review #22, by potterfandamon Ch 33 Happily Ever After, almost

9th October 2013:
I have devoured this story in about 3 days the sequels had better come quick :-)

Author's Response: Do you want good or quick? I've actually got quite a bit written, but even Bad Guys and Broomsticks has a lot of work to finish. By the time I get to the Albus Potter story I have years of work to get it in good order.

I doubt there will be a month without a chapter, and they are going up faster than that now, but I have a full time job and a lot of other things to do.

Reviews really do help encourage me and most other authors, since we don't get paid. A review after each chapter will probably get the next one coming a little faster.

I'm glad you like the story! Thank you for the review.


 Report Review

Review #23, by anonymous Battle Day

10th September 2013:
You used the words bollo*ks too much. Its irritating while reading.

Author's Response: In which chapter? It is not used in chapter 1. I do use it occasionally. The word was suggested by my British Beta as being a typical swear word used in Britain.

Thank you for taking the time to review.


 Report Review

Review #24, by Tim Ch 33 Happily Ever After, almost

31st August 2013:
I have looked forward to reading all the new chapters and look forward to any new ones.

Author's Response: Bad Guys and Broomsticks is coming.

 Report Review

Review #25, by FriendofMolly Ch 30 More duties but a vacation too.

6th August 2013:
Now that Riddle is gone, there's a whole wide world of Magic to be explored. I guess I never thought of just how connected the Magical Community is. Just as it makes sense that they have a centralized core. Just as we here in the US have separate state governments, but we still have our Fed's. If that isn't close, I would say the UN is a better comparison. Thank you for broadening our Magical World. I look forward to the next.
PS I do hope (actually I have a feeling), that we will get a more in-depth view of the Valley at a later date. To the next! I have to compliment you on Ginny's maturity and how she is adapting to the new life she and Harry share.

Author's Response: There are parallels between the governing of the Wizarding Community and the Muggle works, and some very large differences. There are also some complexities in the history of Magic that will take some time to explore.

We will get a little better view of the Valley by the end of this story. It doesn't really get to be a big focus of the story until Albus and his soulmate,
Oh, that's another story, and one that will take quite a while to get to.

Jet LaBarge

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>