aww that was such a cute chapter yay i was like smiling the whole way through, amazing again update soon!!! xoxooxoxoxxAuthor's Response: awww thanks! hahaha i was smiling the whole way through writing it! x Report Review
I love this story! When are you going to update? Soon I hope. Anyway, thanks for the great story!!Author's Response: yay thanks! and i think it'll be another two to three weeks hopefully! Thanks for reviewing xx Report Review
One word. LOVE! Author's Response: yeees! Thankyou so much xxx Report Review
aw i really hope jem n sirius work it out soon!!! keep writing i love it yay!! xAuthor's Response: Aw i hope so too hahaha, thankyou! x Report Review
i literally cannot wait for the next chapter ! this is such an amazing story i like constantly smile when i read it hehe, keep writing!!
xoxoxoxAuthor's Response: Yay, thank you so much! the next chapters in the queue woo x Report Review
Please update! I love your story! I started reading it when you were at chapter 15 and fell in love! I absolutely ADORE you story line. I never though of hogwarts having cheerleaders! I love ur writing style and sass that u put into every chapter. I saved ur story when I first found it and now I looked at it again and saw how many chapters you have up! To be honest, my favorite parts of this story is when the witty comebacks and adorable relationships come in! Please don't bring her ex boyfriend back in! No more fighting with sirius!! PLEASE UPDATE! Love you!Author's Response: OH MY GOD this is actually sooo wonderful! Thank you so much ahhh i cant tell you how happy this has made me (: I will be updating soon, i'm working on the next chapter and it is going to be a shock, be warned. You may hate me mwahahahaha Report Review
I liked this one. It was great to see what they boys behaved like after they'd done the raid and I'm interested to see Jem's progress with Sirius. That's coming up soon, yeah?
Anyway, update soon. ^_^
- Adele :)Author's Response: Yay I'm so glad you likes it, my most dedicated reviewer! hahaha, and yes there will be more progress with Sirius and Jem though you might not like what's in the next chapter. Had to spice it up. Thanks for reviewing x Report Review
omg ahh when is the next chapter coming?!! i love this story so much xxxAuthor's Response: heheh um it should be up in the next week or two depending on when i finish it and how long the moderating takes :) So glad you like it, thanks for reviewing yay xxx Report Review
Next chapter quick ahhh, I love this story so much make it so so so long xxxAuthor's Response: aw this is so nice! Hehe, i'm glad you like it and i expect it should be around 35-40 chapters, which is nice and long xxx Report Review
Again, nice chapter although I felt it was a bit short. Anyway, update soon :)
- Adele.Author's Response: Thankyou :) xxx Report Review
Pretty Please write more soon Pretty please with a cherry on top? Seriously though im really enjoying this story keep it up!
- SophieAuthor's Response: aah this made my day! I've actually got the rest of the story planned out, hehe. Glad you're enjoying it and the next chapter should be up in the next week or two x Report Review
Once again, nice chapter. Wish we'd seen the Marauders raid their room though, but oh well. How many chapters is this story planned to be?
- AdeleAuthor's Response: Hello again!
Thankyou so much, and that's going to be in the next chapter, that's a promise. Thought, it's not going to be from the boy's point of view, i thought that once I've finished the story i could do a one shot of the raid, just a thought. I've planned out the story and if it goes well then i assume the story will be around 35-39 chapters. Report Review
So this was all a bit of a blur, it went so fast and so much happened, but oh well. I'm interested to see what happens next - with the dorm invasion and forgiving the boys and all.
Anyway, update soon.
- Adele :)Author's Response: It was a little fast, but i wanted it all in one chapter. The dorm invasion will be in the chapter after next. Hope you're enjoying the story so far! Thanks for reviewing.
Hiral05 Report Review
So I'm back. :)
The interior design is an interesting idea, and I'm curious to see how you expand on that in the next few chapters. I just want to point out that even though this chapter was from the third person, there was one line where you slipped back into first person. You might want to read through and edit that bit back to third. :)
Anyway, other than that, this was good. A bit short, but I can't complain. :P Hope to see another update soon. :)
- AdeleAuthor's Response: yay! I was quite excited about the interior design thing as well and i know! I'm so sorry, i think its subconscious that i just switch back, i'm actually editing chapters and i've finished the first 3 i think so i'll get to it soon. Thank you for reviewing , again . It means a lot! xxx Report Review
This was a great first chapter! I liked how I got to know the main characters. Lily, James, and the rest of the Marauders had realistic characterizations.
But where's Peter? I know he ended up as an evil traitor, but ignoring him isn't right. I mean, either way, he was a Marauder. It's not like he didn't exist in that time period. To me, that just seems unrealistic.
Your dialogue tags could use a bit of work. You're using this: ' instead of this: " and I find that really distracting. You don't have periods or commas at the end of your dialogue, either.
Also, your sentences are a bit short. It's like you keep saying: I did this, I did that. You want to avoid that, because it sounds kind of...mechanical. Make sure your sentences have a good flow. You're using "I" too much, and then the flow kind of gets messed up.
There were quite a few grammar mistakes, but nothing that a little tweaking and editing can't fix. :) Maybe you should get someone to beta this for you at the forums, because this story really does have a lot of potential.
Keep on writing! :DAuthor's Response: Yeah i know i've avoided Peter for quite a while :/ Thank you for your constructive criticism, i really do need a beta for this LOL and i will try and find one soon seeing as i'm on summer holidays at the moment. Thank you for reading and reviewing it really does mean a lot and i will work on the flow of my writing hehe x Report Review
I will keep reading! I'm waiting for an update, lovely. I'd offer to beta it for you, but I have so much on in terms of school at the moment and it just wouldn't work. Maybe after that, if you're still interested? I'll see how school's going.
As I said, I am enjoying this, and I don't think that came across in my last review properly. I'll sit tight and wait for an update!
- Adele :) xAuthor's Response: Yes, i would like a beta but probably once i've got a few more chapters up. I'm also going to my first year of a'-levels so i'm going to be bombarded with school aswell :/. If you are free then please message me i would appreciate it :) x Report Review
Okay, so if you disregard the fact that none of this could have happened at Hogwarts, and everything else, then I found this strangely addicting. O.o
Normally I don't like stories like this - I find them too 'Americanised', but this is fun. It's nothing like Hogwarts, and only when you ignore that and read it as it's own story can you enjoy it, but yeah.
One thing that has been really, really bugging me though (and don't take this personally, I'm just a grammar nazi) is your grammar and punctuation. You miss a lot of full stops, random words are capitalized in the middle of a sentence, while names aren't, you don't start a new line when someone is talking and you often forget to use commas where they should be used. You can still read the story - obviously, because I've read all the way up to here - but grammar and punctuation just make it so much easier for the reader to know what's going on. As I said, don't take it personally, I'm just pointing it out so you know where to improve. Readers (ones like me anyway) will usually disregard a story within the first chapter if they find it hard to read. :/
Anyway, that aside, as I said, this is fun and really light hearted. I'm looking forward to an update from you soon, because despite the constructive criticism I mentioned above, I'm enjoying this. I just wanted to point out some ways that might get you more readers. (The editing option is your best friend :P)
Anywho, keep up the good work. Hopefully what I've said is somewhat helpful!
- Adele :) xAuthor's Response: Hi Adele,
Thank you so much for taking time to review! I know, my story is nothing like Hogwarts which is why i find it intriguing. My grammar is ridiculous, i'm so bad at it. When i have time to edit i will change all mistakes or i might find a beta because i cant improve it myself haha. Thank you so much for the constructive criticism, i do appreciate it and keep reading! x Report Review
wow this is really fantastic! absolutely love your story and all the characters, can't wait to read more :DAuthor's Response: Dont worry, more is coming! So glad you like it, please keep reading and thanks for reviewing! xxx Report Review
awsome chapter lovin itAuthor's Response: Thankyou soo much! Report Review
i lovin your fanfiction its amazingAuthor's Response: ahhh thankyou so much! Report Review
i love your fan fiction :DAuthor's Response: Thankyou so much, this made my day xx Report Review
luvin your fanfic it greatAuthor's Response: I really appreciate this! Thankyou Report Review
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