Very cute. Keep writing. Report Review
Hey there(: Sorry it's taken me so long to review your story! At least I'm here now?:D So overall, I thought this was a good one shot! It's okay if you continue it [I read your reviews(;], I just didn't want someone to take 20 chapters to get to the prank or something. I'm actually pretty eager to read a sequel, so please tell me if you write one!
I just have a couple of tips/ideas/things to point out for you. I got the feeling this is a humorous story, and you accomplished this pretty well, though you might want to go back and add a couple of jokes, maybe in her train of thought, so you can have people literally ROFLing. Maybe a hugging encounter with a certain Potions Master (hint hint wink wink nudge nudge)? There can rarely be to much humor in a story:D
I also caught a couple of confusing instances or something of the sort while reading this. I totally understand, because I write too and I most certainly have more than my fair share of typos, but I thought I might could be of assistance(:
"...Many of who know what day it is today from the posters around school..." Did you mean you there?
"I want the marauders to notice me, more specifically; I want Sirius Black to notice me." It's not a big deal, but you don't really need that semicolon there. You may want to change that to --I want the marauders to notice me, more specifically, I want Sirius Black to notice me.-- or even --I want the marauders to notice me; more specifically, I want Sirius Black to notice me.--
That's about it!
Thanks for participating in my challenge! Your story was great(: In the meantime, be sure to...
Live Life Large(;Author's Response: Ahahaaa... thankyou dear for this review, I never expected it to be so long xD And yeah, I am not good at writing comedy so I would rather call this... light hearted.
I JUST CANT DO FUNNY! I can be funny, but usually its by accident and people are laughing at me, not with me xD
I do like that idea of a hug with a potions master, didnt think of that! x)
Cant wait to see the results :) Hope the challenge gets many entries x Report Review
Hug a Slytherin.Just got to Love it! :)Author's Response: Aww thankyou, I love Hugging slytherins too, seeing as according to pottermore I am one xD Report Review
You should continue your story, I think it's a really brilliant idea. :)Author's Response: Aww I wish I could but for the challenge I can only enter a one shot and I just dont have enough time for another WIP.
Thankyou :D x Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection