cruel! good plot so far, but i have a few tips. 1. stop switching tenses- stick to one, but don't flick between them. 2. don't capitalise random words; yes they're nouns, but not proper nouns. 3. remember your full stops, and make sure to leave a space after a comma. 4. i know this was an introductory chapter, but because i want to read more of this, try and make your chapters longer! update soon, happy to be your first review! xxx Report Review
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