Haha, your wit is pretty good. I know you're going off StarKid and all, but twisting some of them to in your own way is funny. You do a good job with the songs and rhyming, too! What was your muse for this story?Author's Response: Um, seeing the topic on the forums and no one had written anything for it. It was late at night and I was a teensy bit crazy. :D Thanks for reviewing:D Also, yeah I LOVE StarKid more than anything anything ever! xx Report Review
Ooh, neat! Thanks for the swap :)
This was cute and different, that's for sure. I like how you made the lion hat a girl (I think, anyway), and I like its interaction with the Sorting Hat. The songs were very cute, so if you made those up, great job!
I did see some technical errors here (in terms of spelling, grammar, and punctuation), so you may want to look into getting a beta, especially if you plan to continue it later.
Nice work! :)
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Thank you so much, I should really but I thought Word would do it for me *sigh* glad you liked it :) Report Review
This was a nice chuckle of a piece. :) I really loved all of the VPM references and, maybe?, even Twilight. It added a nice quirk to the story and made me chuckle a few times. As a short story, I wonder where exactly this is going to go, but this chapter was plenty for me to have a nice little laugh! :) Thank you for sharing.
Characterization: I think the subtle humor cancels out some of the characterization, which is a good thing, because they are very minor characters indeed. The Sorting Hat's songs were witty and funny, and I liked the ROAR added in a few of the words. Really, the only one I felt was odd in the story was Luna. She seemed too loony for even herself and the small appearance she made, but none-the-less, the lion hat was a treat to see.
Spelling and grammar:
A few minor punctuation mistakes and grammatical errors that don't matter too much, but you may want to redo it for a few simple comma adds. :)
What I liked in the story in general:
I thought it was cute, quirky, and it gave me a nice little laugh. I would like to see another chapter or two of this up, but just the one chapter is really nice, too! :) Thank you again for sharing! I give it a 7/10!Author's Response: Thank you :) Yes the Diadem is an Edward;) oh it's going somewhere even more random..
I had no idea how to characterise Luna so I just kind of threw her in, she was just a plot maker really :S Thank you so much, glad you laughed! :) Report Review
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