Reading Reviews for Fragments
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by missclaire17 Going Back

12th June 2012:
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
wait, i think this is like the most brilliant idea you could ever write.
lol i mean, like, i hate that harry, ginny, and lily are dead... and it makes me feel so sad for james and al
but like, it makes a good story,
to see how james and al get through that. and even if they have their other extended family, in the end, james and al only really have each other. each potter boy has to depend on the other.

ah, its amazing.
i think u might have seen me leave like three simulatneous reviews on ur stories hehe
but i do like ur stories.
i personally prefer... lighter mood fics
bc these darker mood ones sometimes get too heavy but i really like this.
and i like ur writing

and i wanted to tell you, since i read shattered.
ellie has always been one of my FAVORITE names lol

Author's Response: Wow. I thought I might have scared you off with Shattered ...

I'm so glad you like this idea. I haven't exactly continued writing it yet, but I have it all planned out. So ... eventually. It is very sad, and I know it can get to be heavy. But, usually something goes right in the end.

I'm just in awe right now that people are reading my fics, and liking them. :) So sorry if my replies aren't coherent English.

Ellie is definitely the best name. Let's agree on that. Thank you so much for the review, and I'm glad you like the idea. Warning: by the end it will manage to get darker .

Ellie


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Review #2, by Lillylover22 Going Back

11th April 2012:
Wow. You write about such depressing things so well. This chapter was great. You captured the sadness and almost anger so well. were the potters involved in an accident? Im guessing james was also involved as well. Please update this story soon. 9.5/10 because i cant give you two 10's in one day... :P

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. :)

I don't know how/why I write dark stories, but I find them to have more of a plot than some other fluffy stuff around here, as well as more realistic. (and honestly I find writing kissing so awkward)

As for whatever it is that happened to the Potters . . . yes, James was involved, but I can't say any more. You'll just have to wait and see. ;)

I honestly don't have the next chapter ready (:/) but I have about a million other things ready to post. This will be probably the slowest updating story and I apologize for that.

Darn . . . there's nothing wrong with two 10's in a day. :)

Thanks for the review!

Ellie


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Review #3, by Dragon Going Back

7th April 2012:
Amazing...just amazing

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad you liked it. :)

Ellie


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Review #4, by Sapphire_Skies Going Back

4th April 2012:
I quite like this. Mainly I like the conflict that the storyline will bring to the characters, and their ability to deal with what has happened. Very interesting. So far, you’ve done well with their characterisation. I think that the death of a parent is something many people struggle with and you’ve written James and Albus’ struggle very realistically and maturely and it comes across as believable. The emotion is there, which I like, and I love the last line. It’s very poignant and it’s realistic, I think, for James to be thinking along those lines at that moment. We only meet these characters after the tragic events have happened, but I can still gauge that they’ve changed because of the way they react to other characters, and how the other characters react and think about them. It’s well done.

However, I don’t find the idea that they’d be left on their own completely believable. James and Albus will have a huge network of friends and family, and even if they do live on their own, surely various relatives would come round to check on them, make sure they have enough food and money, at the very least. Personally, I think that they’d live with a relative until they’d left Hogwarts, but I could buy the fact that they’d moved in on their own. I also am not a fan of the idea that James cannot inherit his father’s money until he turns twenty-one. We see from the books that Harry inherits from Sirius aged sixteen, so I find it unbelievable that James, who is of age, would not be able to inherit from Harry. It sort of feels like you’ve used it as a plot device to make their situation more complicated and pitiable.

That is me being subjective. Being objective, I found that while your narrative and style of writing was generally good, there were times where you used colloquialisms (such as ‘Hermione’d’ instead of ‘Hermione had’) which made the narrative seem a little unprofessional. I also found these lines,

“If you’re not too busy. You’re Head Boy now, and a Chaser, and it’s N.E.W.T. year,” Al reminded him.


“Well, you’re a Prefect, in N.E.W.T. classes, and the Seeker, for Slytherin,” James reminded him.

a little expositionary, like you were trying to fill the reader in about James and Albus’ situation at Hogwarts. It didn’t feel very natural.

However, as I said above, the writing was generally good and I liked the premises of the story.

Author's Response: Wow. Thanks for the amazing review. :)

I'm glad you like it in general. I have a lot of stuff to work on with this, and I'm planning to have it beta-d soon (eventually).

I totally get what you're saying with the second paragraph. I did that because, well, Harry wasn't planning to die, and didn't think it would be an issue to freeze it until James is older. Just his mistake . . .

Plus, James wanted to do this on his own. He felt that it was his personal duty to his father and to his family to keep them together. Basically, James was very prideful. Also, their empty fridge is because both are leaving for school so they didn't want to buy more to waste it. And you're right; it is a plot device, which will become very important. :)

Thanks for the amazing review!

Ellie


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Review #5, by BKL8008 Going Back

4th April 2012:
"I always thought being an Unspeakable would be pretty wicked.” Love that line. What DO those guys do?! They're such a wonderful plot tool, too.
In all honesty, I don't like "family wiped out stories". Therefore, I won't be following this one. It's too 'close to home'.
It's well written though, which we come to expect from you. It opens with enough mystery and a sense of "WTH" to rope you in and want to read more. The characterization is good, too. I can say from personal experience that your take on Al's emotional state is perfect.

Author's Response: I really don't know what Unspeakables do, but I really want to know.

I'm sorry that you don't like it. I'll be updating RTS soon, though, because I just finished writing the chapter. I know about stuff that hits too close to home and I understand. :)

I'm glad you think it's well-written, though, and I really have issues with starting out with so many questions. I guess it's motivation to finish the story, though. :)

Thanks for the review, and I really do understand. :) Thanks for the honesty, as always.

Ellie


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