Reading Reviews for The Fourth Daughter
  
98 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Felpata Lupin The Letter

25th August 2015:
Birthday review part two!!! :)

Oh, poor Dezzy... I was kind of expecting an even worse reply, but surely receive such coldness from your own father... Oh, my! How horrible!!!

Helga is so sweet! I'm very happy that she's covering up for her and Godric (notthat I eexpected anything different...)

Oh, and finally we're meeting Aunt Rowena!!! I'm very curious to see what you'll do with her!!!

Another lovely chapter! See you again soon!
Tons of love,
Chiara

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Review #2, by Felpata Lupin The Library

25th August 2015:
Hey, Cassie!!!
Happy birthday, honey!!!

This was such a cute chapter! I particularly loved Godric, he seems just so sweet!!!

Salazar is intriguing... He does have this dark side about him, or maybe I'm just biased, I don't know... But I wonder if Dezzy's sisters aren't too wrong worrying about her being alone with him...
By the way, I found so adorable how much the sisters care and look out for each other!

As I already said, Godric is amazing! I really think he can be a good friend for Dezzy and it's good that her sisters are accepting it!!!

Now I'm curious about the letter... You might receive another review in a few hours...

Happy birthday again, hope you're having fun!!!
A huge hug,
Chiara

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Review #3, by Gabriella Hunter The Christmas Gift

9th August 2015:
Hello!

I am so sorry that I haven't been able to get to your stories faster! Forgive me! Real life is such a pain right now and I thought that I would have more time but it's been an aggravating journey for me.

So, I thought that I would pop right on over here to get back into the groove of things. I was so worried about Dezzy and the girls being married off to that old bat! I can't believe that their father is doing this to them but what I really liked was that this chapter was paced so wonderfully. It started off as such a an unwelcome thing, what with Dezzy being forced to have tea with that stuffy old suitor but towards the end, it was such a pleasant holiday. I really liked how you balanced that out here and showed what Dezzy realled wanted out of her life. It wasn't just about the pavilion anymore (Thank God they didn't mention anything about it) but her own happiness with her family. That is what Christmas is all about, really and I wonder if their father will realize that. Hm.

I was surprised that she told Mistress Helga about her relationship with Godric though but I'm happy that she decided to. Of course, I do hope that nothing horrible happens and her father finds out about it! That was one worrying thing but then you dissolved into the sweetest moment between Dezzy and Godric that I simply adored. They were all sorts of cuteness and I really want them to be together! I especially liked the book of fairytales that Dezzy gave Godric, it may just be me but it felt like an ode to where your inspiration with this story came from? I don't know, but I thought it was a nice touch and the ending left me feeling all warm and fuzzy.

Just what are you plotting, eh? Hahahaha.

I'll have to pop in for the next chapter, I guess! Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
Lord Whitaker was so stuffy and pompous and annoying. Even though I mess with Dezzy's emotions far too much, I couldn't go so far as to force her into marrying him! Haha.
I think Dezzy really came to a new understanding of her own happiness in this chapter. At the beginning of the story she's just so naive, and has never really had much contact with people outside of her family, so now that she's been to the pavilion, and come to love Godric, she can see that there's more to life than what she's grown used to. And she knows that it's okay for her to want things outside of what she has now.
Mistress Helga is the closest person that the girls have to a mother, and since she knew the Queen so well, I think Dezzy really trusts her. She knows that Helga has her best interests at heart, and wants to see her happy, so she didn't think it would be a mistake to tell her.
And then fluffy ending was so, so much fun to write, of course! Dezzy and Godric just love each other so much that it always makes me really happy to write them together.
Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm pretty sure there's only one chapter left in this story before you're caught up, so I've got to get working on writing some more!
Cassie :)


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Review #4, by Beeezie The Fan Dance

9th August 2015:
I wasn't quite right last review, I don't think - Bea is pretty defiant, though not to such an extent that she seems willing to defy Addie head on. Or maybe she's just arguing for everyone else - it's an interesting dynamic. There's a lot of anger in her about how they're being treated, and the other sisters seem thus far to be reacting far more mildly to it than she is. I'm curious to see where you take that.

And, of course, the comment about how their father won't even look at Desiya speaks volumes on its own. I'm not entirely sure that writing to her father about this was the best idea - I understand why she did it, particularly since the other option she saw was talk to him about it face-to-face, but I worry that this could get Bea and Dezzy in particular - and possibly even all the sisters - in a mess.

I'm wondering now about Addie, too - she seems to have misgivings that she's ignoring, because while she keeps saying that she doesn't think that this is a good idea, she also keeps saying "one more time." Maybe it's just that their father is away or her sisters pressuring her... but I find it very interesting. Many of the sisters seem more invested in this than in their real lives - which on one hand I totally understand, but on the other doesn't seem like a path to a happy life.

This is really fascinating!

That said: there were times that that your writing felt a little stilted to me. Your description outside of dialogue was great, but I felt like it was often a little superficial surrounding dialogue. You included things like Bea asked, raising her eyebrows or Clara said softly, getting her sister's attention - but raising her eyebrows and getting her sister's attention didn't really add to my mental image of the scene or my ability to see where the sisters were coming from. I would have liked to see a little more substantive description around dialogue that went beyond "she said, [doing something]." For example, when you say, Clara said, walking over to her sister and sitting down next to her, I would have loved to see more about how she was trying to comfort Julianna. Was she rubbing her back? Giving her a hug? Talking softly so the others didn't hear? Something more, you know?

Overall, though, I loved this!

Author's Response: Hello again!
Bea is definitely the rebel of the sisters- or as much as a rebel as any of them could be considering the circumstances. She's not afraid to say how she feels, although she is smart enough to hold her tongue when it could really get her into trouble.
Bea's comment really stays with Dezzy, and she writes to her father for two reasons: the first is because she doesn't want to ask him face-to-face, and the second is because she doesn't want to wait for him to get home before she can ask. She just wants some kind of answers from him, and is hoping that he'll reassure her that Bea was wrong.
I think Addie is trying to balance being a parent and being an older sister. It's almost always up to her to be the "bad guy" and put her foot down when her sisters do or say something that might be less than proper. So I think that while the parent side of her knows that they should stop going to the pavilion, the sister side of her wants to see her siblings have fun and do something that they all love.
Thank you for the suggestions on the descriptions around the dialogue. I think I add more as the story goes on, because I've been working on this story for a few years and my writing has improved a lot since I started it, but I'll definitely look at the older chapters and see where there could be more description.
Thank you so much for the great review! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story so far!
Cassie :)


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Review #5, by Beeezie The Second Night

9th August 2015:
Hey, here for our swap! Sorry I'm so late with them - some family stuff has come up unexpectedly that took up a lot of my time and energy over the last couple days.

I loved this chapter. The dynamic between the sisters is fascinating - I love the way that, in the absence of their father (literally and spiritually), they automatically defer to the eldest of the sisters. It speaks volumes about who they are - they're not recalcitrant, they just lack the authority figure they should have, so they're turning to the next best thing. I know that Bea was arguing with Adella, but the fact that she was arguing in the first place speaks volumes - they clearly weren't comfortable just going without her, and I don't think it was just out of fear that she'd tell their father - because it never even entered the discussion.

In some ways, that actually makes me more worried for them, though - I'm not sure how closely you're planning to follow the story, but there's something about Salazar that makes my spider sense tingle a little. The fact that the sisters - Dezzy included, and she's currently the one being singled out by him - are so hungry for someone to give them permission to do things and tell them what to do leaves them wide open to being manipulated.

Just musing, of course!

I'm also finding that I don't have trouble keeping the sisters straight, which I'd initially been afraid of, because there are just so many of them. However, the naming convention you used definitely help keep them in context, and it means that I don't really need to remember all the details about which description goes with which girl.

I'm really excited to read on!

Author's Response: Hello! Oh my gosh, don't even worry about this being a little alter than expected. It's totally fine!
I'm so glad that you like how all the sisters interact. Writing twelve sisters, who are often all together, can get to be a lot (which is why I mainly focus on the older ones). Because the girls haven't had much parental guidance since their mother died, the older ones took on that responsibility.
Bea arguing with Addie definitely captures that, so I'm glad you picked up on it. Even though Bea can be a bit rebellious, and often is the most argumentative of the sisters, she doesn't do things behind Addie's back. I think she knows that since the younger ones look up to them, they have to make decisions together.
Dezzy is definitely being singled out by Salazar, and their relationship will continue to develop, so I'm really interested to hear what you think of the direction I take them in!
Thank you so much for the great review!
Cassie :)


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Review #6, by Felpata Lupin The Stable Hand

7th August 2015:
Hi again, Cassie!

I knew the stable hand was Godric!!! I knew from the very first moment you introduced him!!! And I'm already so excited, because he seems such an enjoyable character and I can't wait to learn more about him!!!

Ahahah! Poor Dezzy! I guess eleven sisters can get overwhelming... I loved how she ran away when they insisted that she was meeting a guy...

I would've loved a tiny bit longer chapter, but I think this worked well the way it is. Really loved it!

Thank you for the swap once again!
A huge hug!
Chiara

Author's Response: Hi Chiara!
Haha yay Godric! I'm so happy that you already like him so much! He's one of my favorite characters to write in this story, because he's just so fun and charismatic.
Eleven sisters most definitely can get overwhelming, especially since Dezzy has just come of age, and is now old enough for them to tease her about seeing boys. Haha.
Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #7, by Felpata Lupin The Fan Dance

7th August 2015:
Hello, dear Cassie!
Here for our swap!

Oh, this was such a cute chapter!!!
I'm already in love with Helga! She only made a very quick appearence but it was enough to show her sweet, motherly character that I've always imagined her to have! Brilliant!

Bea should really watch her mouth... But obviously there's more than a grain of truth in her words... Poor Dezzy, it must be horrible to realize that your father is completely ignoring you because you remind him of your mother too much...

That letter was very direct... I would have expected it to be more... respectful (I can't think of a better word, but I hope you get my meaning...) I'm very preoccupied about the king's reaction at it... I can totally see him getting angry at Dezzy and Bea both... But we'll see...

I love the medieval setting so much! I loved the scene of Dezzy running to give the letter to the page before he left! And the sisters teasing Dezzy about having a misterious suitor was just so adorable!

Another thing I didn't expect was Addie agreeing to go to the pavillion again that night so soon... I thought she would try to say no at first.

The fan dance was written beautifully in my opinion! Are you a dancer? You seemed to use a lot of tecnical terms in here and you gave a very precise description, so it makes me think that you dance yourself.

The interactions between Dezzy and Salazar are just so cute... Can't wait to see where this is going...

Another lovely chapter! Thank you so much for the swap!
Much love,
Chiara

Author's Response: Hi Chiara!
Helga is definitely very maternal, and it's something that the girls really need, since they've lost their own mother and their father is so distant. I think the older girls, in particular, really appreciate how motherly Helga is. Since the little ones look up to them as parental figures, it's nice for them to have someone to look to as a parent, too.
I put poor Dezzy through quite a lot in regards to her father. Their relationship definitely isn't a great one, since he's gone so much, but she doesn't want to totally give up on him, which is why she writes the letter.
I'm glad you like the setting. It's a lot of fun for me, since it just adds to the fairytale feel that I want this to have.
I think Addie secretly wants to dance just as much as the other girls do, since it does remind her of her mother, so she agrees.
I am a dancer! I actually tried to choreograph all the dances in this story that aren't just typical waltzes and then put them down on paper. Writing them out and trying to make them sound pretty and not just like a list of steps was really tricky!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you for the swap!
Cassie :)


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Review #8, by cherry_pop94 The Stable Hand

20th July 2015:
Hello Cassie! I'm here for the House Cup 2015 for Ravenclaw! But also to read more of your lovely story.

This was a wonderful chapter, though it was a bit shorter than the others so far. I really enjoyed the introduction of Godric Gryffindor here. It's interesting that he works in the stables, given his canon character, I think this is a very interesting way to put him in here.

I really like how Godric exists in Dezzy's 'real world' while Salazar exists in her sort of 'fantasy world' even though it's real too, just in a very different way. It puts them in very separate parts of her life, but they still both affect her.

Godric's character was a real highlight of this chapter. He seems chivalrous, proper, but also not afraid to call the princess by her nickname when she requests that. He seems bold as well. You've characterized all the founders so far very well and I can't wait to see what you do with Rowena!

Thanks for sharing your writing!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hi Stefanie!
I really loved bringing Godric into the story. Lots of people were surprised at the way I incorporated his character, because they expected him to be someone royal. But for some reason, I just imagine him as a peasant boy who grows up to work in the palace.
Godric and Salazar both grow to be big parts of Dezzy's life, but you're right, it's in very different ways.
I loved writing Godric and Dezzy's interaction. Most people are just so afraid to do or say something wrong in front of a princess that I think Dezzy's relieved and pleasantly surprised to finally meet someone who actually seems comfortable around her.
Thank you so much for another lovely review on this story!
Cassie :)


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Review #9, by Felpata Lupin The Second Night

7th July 2015:
Hey, Cassie!
I'm back!!! :)
Ok, I wasn't expecting Salazar at all... And I'm just so intrigued by the story and eager to know where this is going.

I love the characterization so much! Dezzy's passional temperament, Adella's tender heart even if she tries to be the authoritative one for her sisters' sake, Bea's rebelliousness, the youngers' enthusiasm... I loved them all!

I'm still wondering about the founders' role in this (should I expect some romance between Dezzy and Salazar? How is Rowena related to the sisters? Will Helga appear more? And Godric?)

I really can't wait to know more, so expect another review from me soon!
Lovely work so far!
Hugs and kisses,
Chiara

Author's Response: Hi Chiara!
I'm glad I've got you intrigued!
Oh, it's so nice to hear that you like all the sisters. Dezzy is a lot like me, so writing her always feels pretty natural. I think you've got Addie down pat, though, and that makes me really happy. She seems stern, but she does love her sisters more than anything, and is just trying to do what's best for them.
The founders each play a pretty specific role in the story. Helga will appear more, and Godric and Salazar will appear a lot as the story goes on. As for Rowena, she'll come along in a few chapters, and you'll find out how she's related to the girls then.
Thank you so much for the review! I wasn't expecting it at all, so I was really glad to see you back to this story!
Cassie :)


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Review #10, by Felpata Lupin The Pavilion

3rd July 2015:
Hi Cassie!
Here for our swap!
I've been willing to start this since I read "Just a governess", but for one reason or another I never got to it... Well, I'm here now!!!

This was really beautiful! I loved the descriptions, particularly of Dezzy getting ready for the ball at the beginning (even if it was just a dream... how sad...) and of the enchanted forest at the end. What is that place, by the way? Who is looking at them? Their father? Or Helga? Or their mother's spirit (but I doubt she would've stayed behind, would she? And wasn't she a Muggle?) Or someone else?

I loved your characterization of the twelve sisters. You managed to give us a tiny bit of all of their different personalities, which is amazing to do with so many original characters at once!

It's so sad that, in his mourning, their father is practically forbidding them to be happy... I know he doesn't realize how much he's hurting them, and that he probably loves them dearly, still his attitude towards them is just so cruel... Isn't it bad enough that they don't have their mother beside them?

I'm very curious to know what happens next. And there are so many questions that I want answered... For example, their surname is Ravenclaw, so I suppose they're related to Rowena somehow? Is Dezzy a witch? Mmmh... I'll definitely need to keep reading...

Thank you so much for the swap!
Tons of hugs and love!
Chiara

Author's Response: Hi Chiara!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I love writing dream sequences, and for some reason it just felt right to start this story with a dream. I'm glad you liked the sisters, too! It was definitely hard to fit all twelve girls in one chapter, but they're so much fun when they're all together. I always like writing group scenes with the sisters, and it's definitely gotten easier over time.
The King has really been changed by his grief, and is so focused on not feeling that pain that he thinks cutting out memories of his wife will make everything okay. Unfortunately, that means he doesn't see his daughters a lot, and doesn't really understand how much he's hurting them.
They are related to Rowena! She comes in in a few chapters, as do the other Founders. Also, just to clear this up now, Dezzy isn't a witch. This is AU, so the Founders don't form Hogwarts, and they actually don't all have magic.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and thank you for the review swap!
Cassie :)


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Review #11, by cherry_pop94 The Fan Dance

3rd July 2015:
Hi Cassie!

Here for our review swap! I loved this chapter! It was so sweet, especially at the end with the fan dance. It's a really beautiful scene with all the movement and colour. I think you could have used some more description here, as those big gowns and fans are definitely a really vivid scene, but overall, it was well done.

The beginning of this chapter was really bittersweet to. I really like Helga's character, she's so nurturing and sweet to the girls. I'm also really looking forward to Dezzy's interactions with her father in later chapters. They're got a really interesting relationship here.

Thanks for the swap!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hi Stefanie!
The fan dance was really interesting to write! All the dances I go into detail about are, actually. I have to choreograph them first, and then try and put the dance into writing, which is always really tough. But I'm glad it turned out okay!
I love writing Helga when she's with the girls. She's just has such a great maternal instinct, and knows exactly what the girls need from her.
Thank you so much for the review swap!
Cassie :)


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Review #12, by Beeezie The Pavilion

3rd July 2015:
Hey, here for our swap! :)

I love "The Twelve Dancing Princesses" - it's always been one of my favorite fairy tales, so when I saw this retelling, I couldn't resist. I hope there's a TAR for reviewing Puffs and I'm around for it, so then I have an excuse to come back and read more of it!

Because this story is well, well worth reading more of. I loved your prose - it took me away to a very different time period and created a very vivid picture in my head of Desiya and her sisters. In particular, when they found the magical world behind the wall, I wanted to close my eyes and wake up there. It's so beyond beautiful, and I kind of want to make a blend of it but know that I couldn't do your vision justice. :P

My heart went out to the girls. You've definitely portrayed their father in a nuanced light, at least thus far, and I love that he's not just a villain for its own sake - but at the same time, it's also very clear to me that he's pushing his personal grief onto everyone else, including his daughters, in a very unfair and inappropriate way.

It's not just that they can't dance - it's what that symbolizes. When Desiya thinks about it and speaks with her sisters about it, I get the sense that they were far closer to their mother than her father. The fact that Clara is making excuses for poor behavior and Addie is so concerned at the idea of breaking one of his rules - and, even more so, that they all behave a bit like startled rabbits - speaks volumes to me. I was happy to see them find the beautiful pavilion and finally be able to dance, and I'm so intrigued about who was watching them!

That said, I do have a little CC.

I like that you've set this in the Founders era - I think you're doing an excellent job of capturing the time period, and how Rowena fits into this Ravenclaw family is so intriguing!

However, I did wish that some things had either been a bit more explicitly spelled out or not included just yet. I'm not quite clear whether this castle is Hogwarts, but if it is, it would have been nice to see some more significant identifying details for the reader to make that clear. And, if it isn't, I would have similarly liked some clarification to that end as well.

Similarly, the mention of Helga as their governess makes me unsure whether this is an AU or a story in which Helga is their governess before or after her time at Hogwarts. To make it a bit more clear, I'd to see a tiny bit more information about her - age, manner, maybe some hint of magic if this isn't AU. Not more than a sentence or two, just something to give me a better grounding early on, even though I'm sure you go into further detail later.

All in all, though, I loved this. It's beautifully written, and I'm so happy there's so much posted. :) Thank you for the swap!

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you liked this! And enjoyed my descriptions. Since this is based on a fairytale, I have an excuse to make this really descriptive, which is always fun.
The King's grief has definitely pushed him away from his daughters, which is really sad. He does love them, but I think in his grief after losing his wife, seeing his daughters is painful for him, and he wants to get rid of any pain he might feel instead of dealing with it and working through it.
The girls were very close with their mother, and since she taught them to dance, it's something that could keep them close to her after she's gone.
So, I've edited the Author's Note for this chapter to explain this a little, since people have been asking. This story IS AU, so I've messed around with the Founders ages and relationships a lot. They don't all meet and form Hogwarts in this story, and the castle where the girls live isn't Hogwarts, either. I think that becomes much more clear in later chapters, but hopefully it's clear now that I've explained it a bit.
Thank you so much for the lovely review! This was a fun swap!
Cassie :)


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Review #13, by Gabriella Hunter The First Suitor

19th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie stopping by with our little swap and it's good to be back! I've been meaning to return to this story for a while but was caught up in A Spoonful of Sugar. Hahaha. I forgot just what kind of trouble Dezzy and the girls were in this time! D':

I was glad to see Salazar showing up again and I'm curious to know what's going to happen to him after all this. There is still a lot of mystery about him and I'm dying to find out what it is, he seems otherworldly and kind of makes my skin crawl. I know that Dezzy likes him and he seems charming but something about him is making me stay on guard. Hm...

I was glad that the girls were able to have a little fun though. I know that they're not sure what might happen during their father's competition but it was nice to see them happy and then that ending happened.

Why do you do these things?!

I was horrified by the fact that not only is their father oblivious to what they want that he would actually consider marrying Dezzy off to a walking skeleton! What?! I am so worried for her right now and in my mind, I want her to run away from him or toss up her hands and shout. I know that it might not happen but I really, really liked the fact that Dezzy was so strong at the end of this chapter. I'm rooting for her and I hope that she'll be able to see Godric again, I'm worried about the other suitors that are going to show up.

Great chapter! I'll be back!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
It's always fun for me to write Salazar. He's just so different from Godric, and his effect of Dezzy is always really interesting to explore.
But, yes, the girls needed a little time to breathe and relax and just be silly. I think throughout this story, I have moments where I suddenly remember just how young they all are. Addie is only nineteen, but she acts so much older that sometimes I forget that while I'm writing her.
Lord Whitaker is really stuffy and old and boring and basically everything that the girls were dreading in a suitor. But I really wanted him there to push Dezzy into the realization that she really, really loves Godric, and isn't going to give that up without a fight.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I hope to see you back here soon!
Cassie :)


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Review #14, by cherry_pop94 The Second Night

16th June 2015:
Hi Cassie! I'm here for our swap and to read another chapter of this lovely story.

Salazar is so charming he's got me swooning over here. But his charm here doesn't come off as fake or slimy at all, it seems so genuine. Like he really is just very lonely. I hope it stays that way and he hasn't any ulterior motive or whatever. Honestly, the way you've written him, he could charm the pants off a nun!

And Dezzy and Salazar! So perfect, especially if their mother is Rowena. So many people ship Rowena and Salazar (me included), so this is so perfect since your story is sort of AU there's no weird age thing either.

Anyway, I'm so excited to see where this goes. You've told such a pretty fairy tale story here!

Thanks for sharing!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hi Stefanie!
Salazar is definitely a charmer! I'm glad you didn't think he seemed slimy or fake or anything like that. Their mother actually isn't Rowena, but she is a relative. I won't say how she'll come into the story though. I don't want to spoil it!
I do mess around with the Founders ages, but that will be more clear a little later on when the rest of them come into the story.
Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed this!
Cassie :)


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Review #15, by cherry_pop94 The Pavilion

31st May 2015:
Hi there Cassie! Iím here for our review swap.

Iíve had my eye on this story for quite a while now because Iím sort of working on a similar thing Ė rebooted fairy tale. Fairy tales are already so steeped in magic, that it seems perfect to write stories on them based in the HP world. Plus, the Founders era is perfect for mediaeval tales.

Your first chapter is really excellent. The description of Desiya is quite good and the setting as well. Youíve done a good job of showing this mediaeval castle in just a few sentences. One thing though, they didnít wear corsets until the 16th century. At this time, the women would have worn much looser clothing that didnít show off the figure as much. Still though, I thought this was quite good, especially the long curly hair. I thought that was a lovely touch and sets a very vivid scene.

The names you chose for the 12 princesses were all lovely, especially the touch about naming them in alphabetical order. I actually quite feel for the father character. Iím certain that he loves his daughters very much, but it must be so hard for him to lose his wife. Children often forget in tragedy that their parents are human too and need time to grieve. Iím sure the father is absolutely devastated by his wifeís death and is trying his best with his daughters, though his best doesnít seem to be enough.

And with 12 princesses, youíve done a splendid job of differentiating their personalities! Beaís inquisitive, Clara feels a world of responsibility, Desiyaís a dreamer, Gertieís sweet and innocent, Adella is sternÖ I love them all very much!

Iím curious, youíve said that this is an AU. Will there be mention of magic? Youíve already talked about the enchanted castle (obvious that enchantment didnít totally wear off yet, what with the secret passageway) and Helga has been mentioned as the girlsí governess, but are they witches?

Anyway, this was a really great first chapter and Iíll definitely be reading more of this! Adding it to my currently reading list now!

Thanks for sharing this!

-Stefi

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you chose to read this! And it's so cool that you're working on something similar!
I really don't have a specific time period in mind when writing this story, because I kind of want it to be a story where you could picture it happening in different times and places, so I didn't stick with super strict guidelines to keep it in line with a certain time period. I kind of add little bits of different times all in one story.
I'm so glad you like the names! I made up Dezzy's name, and the rest were ones I found after researching popular girls names from different time periods. It's really interesting to hear your thoughts on the girls' father, because if you decide to keep reading, seeing some more of him might change your opinions of him.
It's both hard and really fun to keep track of twelve sisters who are all quite different. I tend to focus on the older ones for that reason, so I'm glad you think they all have unique personalities!
This is AU, because like I said before, I mess around with time and place for the setting. I also change around the Founders' ages, and magic exists, but not all the Founders have it. I've tweaked their characters to fit with the Twelve Dancing Princesses retelling, so they don't all meet and decide to build Hogwarts in this story.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you for the great review!
Cassie :)


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Review #16, by Princesss The Pavilion

29th May 2015:
Ever since I was a kid I have always loved this fairytale as one of my favourites. It would never had occurred to me to mesh that with the Hogwarts world but now you've written this I see that it is a perfect match so thank you so much for writing this! I especially love that you have put this in the founders era.

The writing is really great, it gave a real feel for the piece. There are parts that could be slightly improved if you wanted to but otherwise it is perfect as it is.

The mystery at the end of this chapter will definitely cause me to continue to read, I need to know who was watching them. So far I am really loving this story as it realy is my personal cup of tea.

Overall a great story, thanks for writing it!

Author's Response: It's so nice to hear that you love the Twelve Dancing Princesses fairytale! It's one of my favorites, too. Most people that I talk to have never even heard of it, which is sad, because it's such a good one!
I'm really glad you enjoyed this first chapter. It was tough to introduce so many characters in one go, but I tried to put in a little mystery and whatnot to make things interesting.
If you do decide to keep reading, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this! And thanks for the review!
Cassie :)


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Review #17, by Gabriella Hunter The Moment of Peace

24th May 2015:
Hello!

BOO! Its been a long time since I've dropped by with a review for your story and it feels like a crime. You've left me countless reviews for mine and I have a long way to go before I can catch up!

You left me with a cliffhanger in the last chapter and I'm really glad to see that we're jumping right into the middle of it now. I was really nervous for Dezzy but my heart kind of burst out of my chest when Godric revealed that he loved her too! Ah! I wasn't expecting it and I have no idea what might happen to them after this! This scene was wonderfully written and I'm really happy for them but I'm worried about what her father will think if he finds out. Will he have Godric banished? Killed? What about the competition? What if Dezzy ends up married to some awful jerk? I hope you won't let that happen!

I thought the most touching thing about this chapter was the end. We know so much about Dezzy and her sisters but this last moment between herself and Addie was just beyond sweet. It's strange for siblings to see that they might branch away from one another and I was really touched by how worried Addie was of that. The distance would probably hurt her and it reminded me of Astoria and Emily for a moment. The worst thing is having your family taken away but I think that they'll stay strong, they'll have to with what their father has decreed.

I'll be back for more!

On my end, Abandon misses you and I have a new story up called "A Wedding". There's also a one-shot called Charlotte up there as well and plenty of other things to read! Hope to see you soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
I really do mess with poor Dezzy's emotions quite a bit. I knew from the beginning that she and Godric would come to love each other, but it's not going to be easy for them. There are a lot of people who won't approve of their being together.
I loved, loved, loved writing that last scene. I think Addie has to be so stern and strict a lot of the time just because she knows someone has to make the tough decisions for all the sisters. But she really does have their best interests at heart, and I wanted to show that here.
Thank you so much for the great review on this! I'm so happy to see you back here again!
Cassie :)


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Review #18, by Shadowkat The Pavilion

12th May 2015:
"What is this place," she asked.

Wait for it.

Wait.

A second more...it's Narnia! XD

Okay, now this is interesting, obviously AU ...which makes me curious what exactly will we expect? I've been meaning to check this out, and now you may consider my internet effectively peaked. I'll have to come back later, you've simply left me with no other choice! Curse you and this spell you've placed, using my natural overly curious nature against me! Curse thee! XD

Author's Response: You're the second person to say that this reminds them of Narnia! Haha. I'm a HUGE Narnia fan, so I'll take that as a compliment!
Yes, this is AU, and it's based on the fairy tale The Twelve Dancing Princesses by the Brothers Grimm. If you know that story, that will give you some idea of what will happen in this story.
I'm so glad I caught your curiosity with this, and I certainly hope to see you back again! Thank you for the review!
Cassie :)


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Review #19, by marauderfan The Pavilion

1st May 2015:
Hey Cassie! I've seen this mentioned all over the place before, probably as it placed in the Keckers a few years ago, and I'm not sure how I've never read it before because I LOVE anything founders-era.

Okay, I know this is probably not even meant to be a major point, or that funny, but THEIR NAMES START WITH A B C D. hehehe :D ... but my silly observations aside, the opening to this is wonderful - I really appreciate your descriptions as I can so easily imagine this beautiful ball room and their fancy gloves and things, it's such a great image.

Omg, there are more alphabetical names. Haha, I love that more than I should.

THERE IS A SPIRAL STAIRCASE HIDDEN BEHIND A SECRET PANEL IN THE WALL. This is like all of my childhood dreams come true.

And it goes to a snowy forest? It just keeps getting better and better! Pretty sure they've ended up in Narnia.

Okay, now that I've gotten my capslock reactions out of the way, I can provide you with some more useful thoughts. I love the way you've started this. It has such a lovely old-fashioned feel, but it's not too stuffy which is something that can easily happen writing old timey things. Considering you've introduced so many characters in the first chapter, I'm really impressed with how you've managed to incorporate tidbits of their personalities so I feel like I can already distinguish between some of them. I'm really curious how they're all related to Rowena Ravenclaw, and interested to know more about their father. And of course, ALL THE THINGS ABOUT THE SECRET FOREST WITH THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE. Who's watching them? (my bets on Mr Tumnus)

Anyway, I think this is a wonderful start, and I've not seen any other fic quite like this, so I'm really excited about it. Thanks for the swap!!

Author's Response: Hello!
Haha, yes their names are alphabetical! Their mother thought it was funny, and their father thought it was practical to name them that way. (Also it helps me keep track of them all!)
Oh my gosh, your excitement about the spiral staircase and everything else they find is awesome. That's how I felt when I was writing it!
I'm really glad you like the tone of this. I'm trying to get that old-fashioned, fairytale feel, but have it feel a little modern at the same time, so it's easy to connect to the characters.
You'll find out how they're related to Rowena in a few chapters, but the other founders will come into the story even sooner!
Thank you so much for the review swap! I'm so happy you liked this chapter!
Cassie :)


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Review #20, by teh tarik The Christmas Gift

25th April 2015:
I, too, am SO glad that pompous, stuffy Whitaker is gone (for good, hopefully). UGH. Even if he really did earnestly try to find out the princesses' dancing secret, I doubt he would get close, given how interested he is in himself, and nothing and nobody else. And his view of the servants, and how being kind to them would mean lowering oneself to their level, or some awful stuff like that!

The rest of the chapter, after Whitaker, was fabulous. I LOVE the Christmassy atmosphere, the sweet heartwarming meeting and gift exchange between Godric and Dezzy (I would love to see these two have more scenes together! Though I know Dezzy won't be able to, not with Rowena watching her like a hawk). And the relaxed, cheerful scene between all the sisters, AND THE YUMMY CHRISTMAS DINNER FOOD. And old Rowena being a sourpuss as usual. On Christmas night as well! Bah, humbug to her. :P

Great chapter, Cassie! I'm so pleased I caught up with your fic at last. ♥ I'm also wondering how far into the story we are; are we approximately halfway or more/less? Awesome job; I've been following this fic for ages, and I've enjoyed every bit of it, along with the AU setting the characters so much.

-teh

Author's Response: Hi teh!
Yes, Whitaker is gone for good! But, unfortunately, there will be more suitors in the future... His view of the servants really is awful. I don't even want to think about the things he would say if he found out that Dezzy was in love with a stablehand!
The Christmas scenes were so much fun for me to write, even though it's a few months out of season! Haha. But I loved imaging such a fun, peaceful day for the girls, full of good food and laughter and time spent together. Plus, the gift exchange between Dezzy and Godric really made me smile while I was writing it.
I'm so glad you've read, reviewed, and thoroughly enjoyed every chapter of this story! It means so, so much to me! I really can't thank you enough! I'm honestly not sure how many chapters the story will be once it's complete... I post chapters as I write them, so I really can't say how long the story will end up being.
If you want a little something to tide you over until I update this, my one-shot Just A Governess is about Helga's friendship with Dezzy's mother :)
Thank you so much for the fantastic review, teh!
Cassie :)


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Review #21, by teh tarik The First Suitor

24th April 2015:
Hi again Cassie!

I'm slowly making my way through the rest of your chapters! :D

Uh, skipping to Lord Whitaker, because he is such a bore bahaha! Some poor woman actually has to marry him? This is unjust. :P And I can't help feeling furious at the king and Aunt Rowena for subjecting them to so much stress and inflicting all these suitors on them. I'm pretty sure more undesirable suitors will show up...sometime. :P

I absolutely love the enchanted forest and the pavilion scene. Some of your descriptions were beautiful. I loved the images of crystal flowers and gold fish swimming beneath the bridge. If you could add even more description to the whole scene, that would be great, because you've got such a mysterious and beautiful setting to develop. And ah, Salazar is as unreadable and as unsettling as ever.

I'm still wondering what is his game. I'm definitely more of a Dezzy/Godric shipper than a Dezzy/Salazar. :P

Such a lovely chapter, Cassie! ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Hi teh!
Lord Whitaker is definitely not the most attractive guy in any sense of the word. I feel bad for the poor woman who actually end up with him, too! As for the king and Aunt Rowena, their both a bit blinded by their feelings (must run in the family!), and can't really see how miserable this whole plan is making the girls.
I'm so glad you liked the pavilion scene in this. I'm really trying to keep the magic alive, especially since we're twenty-some chapters into the story by now. Oh, Salazar... He's nothing if not mysterious.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for stopping by this story once again!
Cassie :)


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Review #22, by teh tarik The Moment of Peace

21st April 2015:
Hi Cassie! ♥

I am so back to reading this story! I'm sorry it's taken me ages, and I had to re-read the last chapter to remember where things were at. But I'm so glad to be back in the lives of Dezzy and Godric and Mistress Helga and all the other dancing princesses.

Oh my goodness, this chapter! The Dezzy/Godric ship has finally come to town and I love it. These two are so sweet together. ADORABLE. LOVE their conversation, and their confession of feelings for each other; I thought you wrote all of that so beautifully, and I'm hoping to see lots and lots more of these two together.

I also love the fact that despite Dezzy/Godric being slowly realised, you haven't forgotten about the other girls, and Dezzy's relationship with her sisters. The way the sisters treat each other is such a big part of this story, and I'm glad that Dezzy is receiving so much support from them! I also love the development of Addie's character with that bit of heartfelt conversation between Dezzy and Addie.

This chapter ends on such a wonderfully positive note! I loved this, and I'm so glad to be reading this story again. ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Hi teh! It's so lovely to see you back here again!
Yay Dezzy/Godric! I love writing them because it's just so fluffy and cute and romantic. And a nice break from all the drama happening in the rest of Dezzy's life! I'm so glad that you liked the way they confessed their feelings for each other, too. Dezzy has never really talked to men before, let alone fallen in love, so it takes her a while to figure out her feelings, and she honestly has no idea what she's doing when she tells Godric.
That moment at the end of the chapter with Dezzy and Addie was also very fun to write. Addie always has to be so stern and maternal, that I thought this would be a good chance for her to be more vulnerable and have Dezzy to lean on.
I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for the sweet review!!!
Cassie :)


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Review #23, by teh tarik The Challenge

24th August 2014:
Hello Cassie!

After a long time, I'm finally back to read your latest chapter. :D And such a wonderful chapter this is! It starts off with that awful, tense dinner scene with the family, and that the lovely warm, fluffy Christmassy scene with Mistress Helga, and it got way more intense toward the end! I love Mistress Helga more than ever; the girls really, really need her - right now she's the only spark of brightness in their dreary lives. The Christmas decorating was absolutely wonderful, and the cookies and cocoa...gah!

And waah, this is where your fic starts to tie in with the twelve dancing princesses' fairytale, espcially with the challenge issued by the king. I love that we get to see the princesses' opinions about the whole challenge, or at least Dezzy's. In the original fairytale, there's none of this; the princesses are just dolls - ethereal and beautiful and silent. But I love that Dezzy is able to feel outrage at her father's decision.

AND DEZZY CONFESSED HER LOVE FOR GODRIC ASLKDJ;LDFKS;L Sorry, these two are the sweetest. And FINALLY. Why did you just stop there, Cassie!? :P Ah, that was absolutely gorgeous. Now you've got to update soon! I want to read more Dezzy/Godric!

I really enjoyed this chapter, Cassie! Lovely writing as usual! Hoping to see a new chapter soon. :)

-teh

Author's Response: Hi teh!
I'm actually a little embarrassed about how long it took me to respond to this. Oops.
This chapter was kind of jam packed with stuff, but those chapters are my favorite to write and read! Haha. I loved, loved, loved writing the scene with Mistress Helga. She's the only really parental figure the girls have, and her surprise was just another way to show how much she loves them. She knows that she could get in trouble for the lengths she goes to be kind to them and take care of them, but she does it anyway.
And the challenge is finally here! I loved writing that scene because it was so emotional for Dezzy. She and her sisters are being taught to show no real emotions so they can attract suitors, so letting Dezzy get all her feelings out was a big thing for her. And she FINALLY realized her feelings for Godric! Yay! Things with that will develop some more in the next chapter, so you'll get more Dezzy/Godric there.
Thank you so, so much for such a lovely review. It means so much to me that you've stuck with this story!
Cassie :)


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Review #24, by Gabriella Hunter The Challenge

22nd July 2014:
HELLO!

I'm back! I told you that I would be reading this next chapter and reviewing for you after that last one left me in a knot. Haha.

Dezzy's situation is pretty awful, I couldn't imagine sitting there with all of my sisters (If I had any, mind you) with my horrible aunt and scary father. I think that scene was written really well, the girl's unhappiness was something that was so clear but not over done. Some people would have went on and on and on about it but you just let the scene speak for itself and it was a great read. I feel sorry for the girls though and poor Clara, her spirit was all broken up about what Aunt Rowena had said to her.

The chapter had a great moment in the middle though with the girl's decorating the Christmas tree with Mistress Helga, it was a beautiful scene and I'm glad that the girls got some happiness out of it. Helga was being awfully bold with having them there though, I hope she doesn't get into any trouble!

That ending! How could you? Really?! I was feeling the love and being so happy for Dezzy and Godric and then you just had to throw in some feels. Hahahha. I think their father is taking things too far and I can't wait to see what the other girl's reaction to this challenge will be! Did their aunt put him up to this? Will he ever forgive them for dancing? Gah, I need to know.

And Dezzy confessed her feelings for Godric!!! How could you leave it there?! D': What will happen next?! Will we see Salazar again? Darn you for this! Hahaha.

So obviously, I loved this and can't wait for an update so don't hesitate to let me know!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: HI!
I always feel so bad when I stick the girls in a room with their aunt and father. The emotions and tension are always running very high, since they're feeling everything from awkwardness to sadness to anger (although it's usually just Bea who's angry). I tried really hard to make sure it wasn't overdone so thank you for noticing that!
I think poor Clara has more going on than people realize. She's so soft-spoken that I think she can be forgotten sometimes, but she really does play an important role in the Ravenclaw family. She is very mothering to the girls, and has a lot of compassion in her, but the flip side to being so sensitive to people is that she can get easily hurt herself. When Rowena tells her that she's wrong for doing the one thing that she really loves, it gets to her and she's not able to let that go.
Mistress Helga is one of my favorite characters in this story. She's so loving (and a lot like Clara, actually) and is very willing to take risks if it ensures the girls' happiness.
I loved writing that ending! I knew that when that scene came I wanted it to be a huge cliffhanger, because it's not something Dezzy, or Godric for that matter, is expecting at all. I wanted her to suddenly come to this realization that she loves him, say it out loud for the first time, and then leave it hanging there. I'm sorry that you didn't get his reaction but I couldn't pass up an opportunity for such a dramatic end to a chapter!
Hopefully I can update this really soon after the queue opens back up! Thank you so much for the wonderful review!
Cassie :)


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Review #25, by Gabriella Hunter The Nightmare

22nd July 2014:
HELLO!

I was just about to pop on over to read the current chapter when I realized that I hadn't left a review for this one! Gasp!

So I'm really feeling for Dezzy and the girls, Aunt Rowena's expectations of them are so high that she's intent on breaking them in order to get what she wants. D': I wonder how they'll break free from her? I want to hope for the best but she made me angry, telling Clara that she doesn't approve of her reading habits. And then Dezzy fainted from the stress of it all! What are they going to do about their father, I wonder, I noticed that she was thinking of his disappointment a lot and it made me so sorry for her. I hope he shows up in the next chapter so I can see how that develops.

The nightmare! Scary stuff! Poor Dezzy, I was really worried about her and the awful dream Godric just made me want to hug her. Does that speak of the future? Or is someone messing around in her head? The pull to go back to the pavilion is strong...I wonder if Salazar has something to do with that?! I'm going on to the next chapter now so see you then! Haha.

On my end, expect Abandon today or tomorrow and after that I'll try to get At Midnight or A Force of Wills up for you. Haha. D':

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
Aunt Rowena really is awful, and is going to continue to push the girls to fit her expectations for them. Unfortunately, the girls' father doesn't see this as an issue, and so they don't have someone who can stick up for them. It's a really terrible situation, but the story will have a happy ending so it's not going to last forever!
I always find writing dream, or in this case nightmare, sequences really interesting, and trying to figure out what would shake Dezzy the most was a good opportunity for me to get to know her a little more! I think what we dream about can tell us a lot about ourselves, and in Dezzy's case that's definitely true!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Cassie :)


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