Reading Reviews for Inside and Under
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EnigmaticEyes16 Inside and Under

26th February 2015:
Hi! I am here for the February Review Exchange!

I thought this was an interesting one-shot and insight into Blaise Zabini. I liked the title and how it basically described the Slytherins' location during the war, inside and under the castle and all the fighting taking place, completely closed off from the war. I do wonder, if the war had kept going, if they would have been discovered. And if so, would they have been set free or murdered? Although, I don't see the Order murdering children without reason. That's against all Harry and Dumbledore stood for. But I can see how they would be afraid of the possibility, most of them being on the wrong side of the fight.

Although, I'm not so sure how I feel about Blaise's character. He seems very cold and unattached. Like he could honestly care less about any of them, his fellow housemates, his friends, his family. I know we don't see much of him in canon, we only really witness how he behaves once in the train cart when Harry's under the invisibility cloak, and he does seem very set apart from the others, not seeming to believe Draco's been given a task by Voldemort, and not really seeming to care for Draco at all, but it would have been nice to see some sort of emotion from him besides maybe a little bit of anger.

And after admitting that he doesn't really see Draco as a friend, just someone he occasionally talks to, it seems uncharacteristic of him to go over to Draco and his family when they finally are allowed in the Great Hall.

I liked your addition of Leah though, a Slytherin who must be known to be either halfblood or muggleborn, and also one against Voldemort. I was impressed that she wanted to join the fight, that she wanted to help the side she thought was right, the side that most of her housemates would have fought against if given the chance. I'm curious to know what happened to her after the war.

Anyway, I did enjoy this one-shot, and I think you did a great job writing it.


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Review #2, by Selene Inside and Under

9th February 2015:
Hello Maelody!

So, I'm rubbish at reviews so I'm going to start by apologizing in advance.

I picked this story at random and I'm glad I did. You did very well at capturing the emotions of the moment and placing the reader into the Common Room with the Slytherins. I could feel the tension and emotional upheaval as I was reading, and I just wanted to hug the younger students.

What I wasn't expecting to find while reading this story was anger. I never reread Deathly Hallows after it came out, so I completely forgot how angry I was with how the Slytherins were treated during the end of the war. This made me remember that treatment. But not in a bad way, don't worry!

Overall, you did a great job with this piece. You balanced the dialogue and Blaise's private musings very well. I'm curious as to why that Death Eater was at the Slytherin entrance though. Was he coming to 'free' the students? Or was he privately guarding the house from harm? Coming to rid the house of 'undesirables'? I would love to know... ;)

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Review #3, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Inside and Under

7th February 2015:
I've never read a story and been so unsure about the world before. Like, I was stuck in the common room with the rest of Slytherin, needing to get out and to know who was alive or dead, who was winning. It felt so very real and strangely disconcerting when I finished. I loved it.

And I love Blaise. Just so calm with the knowledge that he had no one up there to be truly scared for and no wish to join a side. If I was him, I'd fight for myself, too. Mostly, if I had to pick I'd want Harry to win.

Leah was awesome. And Millicent. I'm not sure where Millicent truly stood in the war, but to see Leah so open about wanting Voldemort to lose, especially at the end when he had, was so good. We're not all bad. :D

I really enjoyed reading this!


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Review #4, by Lostmyheart Inside and Under

6th February 2015:
Hi Mae!

Now it's your turn on the Hot Seat, after you left so many reviews on the other rounds!
I skimmed your stories, and when I saw that Blaise was the main character of this one, I HAD to read it. I love Blaise. I lovelovelove him!
He's such a fascinating character, mostly because we know so little about him, and there's no real truth in whether or not he was a Death Eater himself. So I love your version of him, hating Voldemort, yet not taking Harry's side. Excellent portrayal of him!

I enjoyed reading this, as I've never come across a story that told that part of the book that never was revealed. What DID happen to the Slytherins? It must have been so frightening, to be there, listening to the war and not be able to flee or to fight.

You did a great job! And I look forward to read the rest of your stories.

- Avi

Author's Response: Heyo! :D Yay! I'm glad you love Blaise! He was definitely fun for me to write, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love him more after writing it. ;) And yeah! That's initially why I chose writing this sort of story in his view other than a random, made up Slytherin. :) I thought it'd bring us a little closer to home. :)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this one! :D I'm glad you liked it! :3


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Review #5, by GingeredTea Inside and Under

21st January 2014:
This was wonderfully written and powerfully delivered. It all went so quickly and even though we weren't "in" the action, it felt like that kind of high-stress writing. Wonderfully done!

I love how you portrayed Blaise and even more how you used Leah!

Author's Response: Thanks! I wanted to let the readers still know there was definitely a lot going on above, and I'm glad you sensed that! :)

I loved writing Blaise and Leah. I wanted to show that there was a little acknowledgment from both, but neither are really sore on how they aren't dating one another anymore. They've grown up already and now they can come together to help calm the situation.

Thank you so much for coming by and reviewing! This story definitely needed some love! :)

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Review #6, by Rew Inside and Under

28th April 2013:
Nicely done, Mae! I liked this look into the generally vilified House, esp. during the final battle. Blaise in particular is a character who gets distressingly little attention. (Heck, even in my own Potter Games Endgame story he's not going to get the attention I wish I could afford him.) I like what you've done with him here: If Voldemort and his minions are on the "Dark Side," and Harry and his ilk represent the light, then Blaise is an interesting gray moral character.

I really loved the people freaking out and reacting in different ways all around him. My main criticism involves the timeline of how the battle unfolded in the book--I feel like you skipped over the lull in the battle when Harry sacrificed himself in the forest. This fic makes it seem like the fighting was non-stop from the time McGonagall cast the Slytherins into the dungeon to Voldemort's death. (Also, a slight thing, but most of them wouldn't use Voldemort's name--they'd call him "the Dark Lord" or maybe even "You-Know-Who".) But these are minor criticisms. Nice character study!

Author's Response: Hey, that's a nice term for him! A character in the gray area character! :D Anyway, thanks for the review on the story! :D

Hmm, I think in my head the timeline ran more smoothly than I portrayed because I know exactly where the characters are. When the time came in the story where it was particularly quiet for a while is where I figured Harry would be in the Forrest. I try to make a point of that by saying by the end of the story a whole hour has passed. The part where the whole castle shook and it was the worst explosion yet is where I was hoping to key in that Harry and Voldemort had their big show-down. ;) Then, there is the waiting trial they had to do. They do three hours of it while everyone upstairs does a cleanup and gathers the bodies: a time in which I imagine the trio are up in Dumbledore's office by now and that's what everyone means by Harry is not back yet. It's really a lot of 'leave it to interpretation' in time to know exactly what is going on.

As for the Voldemort thing, I agree. This was brought up to me earlier today, actually. I don't think I'm completely used to having to write Dark Lord or any other name he has because I'm so used to writing after-war characters, or stronger ones ;). I will fix this on a later date though. :)

Thank you again for stopping by and reading! It was nice to see since you didn't have to and I thought you were going for Seven ;) (which that's not a plug! I swear! lol) Anyway, thanks for the review!

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Review #7, by nott theodore Inside and Under

28th April 2013:
Your summary for this story caught my eye as I haven't read anything similar on this site, and I really enjoyed reading this.

I liked your characterisation of Blaise, and I thought you did a very good job of portraying his character. I've always thought that although Blaise made the right noises when it came to Voldemort so that he could have an easy life as far as his roommates were concerned, he didn't necessarily enter into the pureblood philosophy to the same extent. This really came through in this story; he dislikes blood traitors and muggle-borns, but he doesn't believe in killing them. He was quite hypocritical but I enjoyed the way you explored his character, and I actually ended up quite liking him.

I thought the inclusion of some more minor characters was really interesting. I thought you did a good job of portraying the whole of Slytherin house, rather than just the small section that we see through Harry's eyes in the books. They can't all be Voldemort supporters, and I liked the range of beliefs in this story.

Another thing I enjoyed was that you got across the fact that these were just children. It must have been terrifying for them to be stuck in the castle, not knowing who is winning the fight around them. I found myself completely believing the fact that these children would have gone to join their parents fighting, just because of the beliefs that had been drilled into them, or trying to find their parents and being hurt in the fight.

There were a few mistakes in this story, but they could be corrected quite easily and they don't really interrupt the flow of it. My main criticism would be that the students use the name 'Voldemort', and I don't think they would call him that. It was always a name used only by those who really opposed him, and there was a trace on it in the final year, so I think it unlikely that Slytherin students who would have been well-versed in the pureblood mantra would have used it too. Also, you misspell Colin (assuming you're referring to Colin Creevey) - there's only one l, not two.

Overall, an enjoyable insight into the emotions and thoughts of Slytherin house during the Battle of Hogwarts, and I'm glad I got the chance to read it.

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: Oh wow! Thanks for the review! I'm glad the summary caught your eye. I normally can't help but think I'm absolutely awful at coming up with them. :)

I'm glad you liked the angle that I took with his character. I never quite thought he was as big of a fanatic on murder, and I ventured into that thought when he was in the slug club. It always sort of annoyed me when he replaced Crabbe in the movie because I didn't see him being the next one Malfoy would jump to. He's always been a strong character in my eye, setting his morals and beliefs straight so no one questioned him.

Hmm, I don't think I even noticed the Voldemort bit. That's a good observation though. I think it's because I'm so used to just saying his name I think everyone should be lol. Though I'm thoroughly embarrassed about the Colin ordeal. I'll have to go back and fix that as soon as I get the chance (This only recently came back from an edit. I would hate to make the validaters check it again so soon).

Thank you for stopping by to give it a read and review! :D It's made my day and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #8, by TheHistoryGirl Inside and Under

20th April 2013:
Hey, THG here with your requested review

I really enjoyed this; it's nice to see things from the point of view of a Slytherin for a change. I haven't read any Blaise stories before so this also made for a lovely refreshing change. I have to say, you did an excellent job of characterising him so that he was both realistic and interesting. I particularly love that he has his own mind and he isn't prepared to allow other people from both sides of the spectrum to influence his views and opinions. You've actually made him likeable to me which is very strange because although I respect him for maintaining his own unique values I most definitely do not agree with them.

I think that you hit the nail on the head with his hypocritical tendencies. For example he detested Voldemort for killing muggleborns and yet he himself believe them to be an inferior species. I like that through doing this you stuck to what was revealed to us about him in the book by JK but still managed to put your own twist on him. I would find it believable that he to an extent bucked the typical Slytherin trend of being a pro-Voldemort person because of Pansy's hint in THBP that he had once held a certain fascination with Ginny Weasley. I really like the fact that you gave him more dimensions than the typical stereotype that he is generally perceived to be.

If I had to offer you any criticism then it would only be to truncate the length of this chapter. My reason for saying this is because at times sections of the story may have dragged on a little bit. it's not a major law but it was noticeable for me and I think that if you tried to focus on the more prominent points in your story it would read better. Your writing style was good. There were a few minor errors here and there but nothing that a beta wouldn't have a problem with sorting out. Over all a very well written and flowing piece!

I think you did a marvellous job of exploring the house of Slytherin as a whole. Their different reactions and reserved emotions were quite impressively fitting to the way I have always perceived them to be. I also like the fact that you created some good Slytherins within the mix; especially Millicent; I love the redeeming qualities you gave her in this story (even if I can't stand her in the books). It always makes me very happy when I see authors giving the minor characters interesting traits that we never would have expected them to have. Loyalty amongst Slytherin, who'd have thought it ey?

I really really enjoyed this and I'm very happy that you recommended it to me. See, this is why I love to randomly offer out reviews.


Author's Response: Aw, thank you for such a lovely review! :) I really had a lot of fun portraying to Slytherins, especially from Blaise. He has always been a questionable character to me and I wanted to delve further into him. :)

Writing the minor characters such as Millicent and a few other made up ones was a good thing for me to reflect on because I wanted to show that these are just children. Yes, some of them may have formed their opinions, but they're still very scared.

I'm very glad that you liked it, and came by so quickly to do so! :) This story needed some love and I'm glad you came by to do so. :) Thank you very much!

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