This is really good! I think you shouldn't have so many spaces between the paragraphs, stick with one or two spaces between. It'll be a bit less irritating. I love the plot line, this'll be really good! Report Review
This looks totally awesom! I really hope you continue it :) It's more original than half the story's on here which is kind of refreshing and your character's seem interesting. Plus, i didn't feel like you were trying to make him totally BA like a lot of people do. It flowed nicely and he seemed real instead of a fake rebel that you were trying to create. Nice job!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like my story. Your comment made my day! :) Report Review
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