Reading Reviews for Her Death
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DMsSlytherinPrincess Chapter One

7th July 2014:
For the 2014 House Cup Review Challenge.

I fell in love with this quickly, first story I've read like this; From Rons POV on how he feels about Hermione and Draco. Well written.
I liked how he was okay with Draco, and still was after everything.
It made me teary eyed. Also you brought out his emotions out really well, it was over kill of depression it was just. Perfect. Cant find the word im looking for. Loved it.

Author's Response: Hi!

I am so happy to hear you liked it! It's a very special story to me, as it is the side-story to Psycopath - which is my most popular oneshot at the moment.

Well, yeah, Ron is really just focusing on Hermione in this story and it might have been out of character, idk, but that's what I wanted. It kind of tires me to constantly read Ron being hateful toward Malfoy, so I wanted something different :)

Thank you so much for your review! You made me so happy.

- Avi

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Review #2, by Infinityx Chapter One

6th July 2014:
Avi. Hi. I have not cried so much in a long time. Why. Just why did you do this to me?

I did not expect that one bit. When I started reading this, I just thought it would be a story about Ron getting his heart broken while Hermione married Draco. I'd braced myself for some major feels, but nothing prepared me for what happened.

I just. Why. I cannot able. *sob*

I absolutely love your writing style. The tone of this story was so melancholic from the beginning. Even when Hermione was described as happy and laughing, there was that undercurrent of sadness present throughout. This was beautiful.

Poor Ron. Heartbreak is always the most painful and he's so mature here, letting her go because of how much he values their friendship. He really, truly loves her and I've built up immense respect for him now.

The Nora Twilda case. I thought that it held some sort of significance. And when I got to know that Hermione was killed, I thought there would be some connection to this one. But again, unexpectedly, that was not so. So, Pansy was stalking Draco and then murdered Hermione. Wow. I did not see that coming.

The only CC I have is that when Draco's stalker is introduced, it's a bit sudden. Maybe you could give a bit more detail there and then just ease into what happened. Maybe specify that Draco had complained, or something about how long he was stalked, just to make it a bit clearer. :)

The end. It's just. fskandpoewiohnv. I can't. You have reduced me to a mess. This is going into my favorites. It's just beautiful.


House Cup 2014, Event 5.

Author's Response: Errrin!!!

Argh you're too sweet! I'm so sorry I made you cry *hugs*
It's funny you didn't expect this, when the story's title is Her Death! Haha.
I'm so glad you noticed how melancholy it all was. I really wanted to see everything from his POV, and since he wasn't at his happiest during this story, I tried my best to sort of see the world as he did. I don't know if that made sense. Hopefully it did.

Yes, I've been thinking of that as well. That I should have mentioned Pansy earlier. I never really thought of that, since it's a side-story to Psycopath, where we see it all from Pansy's POV. I should probably edit this story, and see if I can add more details into it.
Thank you for your advice, Erin! And sorry I reduced you to a mess. *giggles*

- Avi

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Review #3, by TidalDragon Chapter One

6th July 2014:

This was an interesting story - exploring complex emotions within Ron - Mr. "Emotional-Range-of-a-Teaspoon". But I thought you did a good job with that part. You conveyed his love for Hermione, his willingness to sacrifice his happiness to let her be happy with Draco, his nervousness, fear, and ultimately his despair. That was a challenge, but I think it was one you handled fairly well.

I will say I think this story ran a bit into some of the more trope-y territory as far as Draco/Hermione is concerned though. We saw Draco very rapidly be forgiven for all he'd done (to the point he and Hermione are already getting married) and we saw Draco as this much softer person that seems extremely distant for the cold, cutting, and aloof character we know in canon. While you avoided the danger of demonizing Ron that often comes out in Draco/Hermione fics, I'd watch out for these issues too.

On a more minor note, I also noticed your use of the word "overseen" was a bit odd. Perhaps it's a cultural thing (and if it is, just ignore this), but multiple times when you used it, it seemed like the word you were really searching for was "overlooked". "Overseen" typically connotes oversight as in a supervisory capacity while "overlooked" describes missing something or making a mistake.

Thanks for sharing!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi!

It surprised me that you decided to review this story, since I sort of know you're not really into this pairing.

I wouldn't exactly say rapidly forgiven. It did take a few years, years that I perhaps didn't describe as much as I should have. But with this story I wanted to focus more on Ron and how he felt when it all happened. I wrote Psycopath first, and the reviewers asked for a story from Ron's POV - so I decided not to include Draco and Hermione's WHOLE story either (they weren't mentioned much in Psycopath either).

With the word, I don't really know what to say. English is my third language, so I don't have the best knowledge within the meaning of all words. But thanks for the heads up.

Thank you for your review.
- Avi

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Review #4, by slytherinchica08 Chapter One

3rd July 2014:
Oh my goodness gracious the feels that this story just gave me. I feel just so bad for Ron and for Draco and Harry and gah why did you do this to me! Anyways, I felt that Ron was really well done. I loved that while he was jealous of Draco being with Hermione, he didn't let it get in the way of his friendship with Hermione and later with Draco. He realized that she really had never been his but yet he still longed for her.

This was really a rather sweet one-shot and also extremely sad. I couldn't believe that Pansy was such a huge stalker and even went to the extremes to kill Hermione, and after the engagement party no less. Man the feelings from this! Anyways, this was a wonderful one-shot, I very much enjoyed it and thought that you did a great job with it!


Author's Response: Hi Erica! Oh my. You wrote this lovely review in July, and I didn't answer till now?! Shame on me. But here I am. Finally.

Knowing how much you love Dramione, it's an honor to have you read this! Even though it's not beta-read yet. Yikes!
But I'm so glad to hear you liked it, despite the sad theme.
Yes, I wasn't particularly nice to Hermione, Draco and the two boys in this story. But not all stories have happy endings, and apparently I can't really write them :P I just really wanted to "explore" that side of the madness, from Pansy's POV.

Thank you so much for your review!
And sorry for the VERY late response.
- Avi

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Review #5, by Tainted Angel Chapter One

30th June 2014:
Enjoyed it very much. Look forward to reading more of your stories.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed it :)
Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #6, by True Author Chapter One

27th April 2014:
Wow, such a touching story! :( I just don't know what to say... This was really a beautifully written piece, especially the last part. I'm feeling so bad for both Ron and Malfoy!

So basically, I'm NOT a Dramione shipper and reading this was pretty new and even a little hard for me, but anyways I decided to give this a go... And I'm so glad I did! No wonder this was a Dramione one shot, but I still liked that you believed that Ron too, truly loved her.

Ron's characterisation was definitely at its best. Really great job! Also Draco was pretty believable... I LOVE how Ron was restless and Draco wasn't!! Excuse me, but I'm a Romione shipper. :D

The last sentence was deeply meaningful and just perfect. Loved it! All you need to do is correct a few typos here and there. :)


Author's Response: Hi Ashwini! :)

I'm glad you gave this a go, even though it wasn't your ship. Means a lot to me :)

I'm glad you still liked it, and I didn't really focus on their relationship, but more on Ron's side of the story. And I'm so thrilled you think my characterization of him was good! Thank you :)

Yes, it does need to be beta-read, but it'll get done during the summer :) Thank you for letting me know about the typos.

Thank you for reviewswapping with me! :)

- Avi

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Review #7, by BookDinosaur Chapter One

27th April 2014:
Review swap! Hey there. :) I hope this is what you meant when you said newness updated story haha.

I really enjoyed this! Normally I'm not much of a fan of Dramione stories, but I think the fact that you focused more on the death of Hermione and avoided the sticky details of reconciling with Draco helped me a little to deal with the sudden change, because like I've said on the forums, I don't believe that the Golden Trio could ever really make up with Draco after he bullied them and his family was awful to them. In my headcanon, they learnt to tolerate each other, but that's really as far as it goes,. Still, that didn't really have a huge impact on this story and I was still able to enjoy it. :)

I really liked seeing a murder of Hermione from someone else's point of view! It was so sad that Ron could never really tell Hermione that he loved her, but when she was sick I could really feel how much he loved her, remembering small things like her favourite soap and just being there for her, it was so sweet and you just wrote that so well, so major kudos to you there!

I really liked that bit of foreshadowing where Ron is all antsy and thinks there might be something wrong with the case he's on, it was a lovely, subtle way to warn us that something was wrong.

You portrayed all the emotions in this so well - I've already mentioned how well you did the love that Ron felt for Hermione - but it wasn't just that, the regret he felt for not telling her, Draco's happiness and then despair, and then Ron's sort of quiet resignation at the very end, it was so well done and I really enjoyed reading them!

This was a really nice little oneshot, I enjoyed reading it and I'm glad I had the chance to. Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Hi!

Sorry it took so long to respond to your lovely review! :)

I understand that you don't like Dramione stories, so I'm very grateful you read this. Even though you could have chosen a different story :)
But yeah, in this story I focus more on Ron's feelings for Hermione and how he copes with everything. I do have another story with this plot, from Pansy's side of the story. So I haven't really covered their relationship at all. Kind of sad, now that I think about it. Haha :)

I'm so happy you liked that part, I really did too. I wanted to show how much he actually cared for her, remembering her favourite soup (I guess you made a typo when you wrote soap? :P ) and to me it was a very emtional part of the story. So it means alot to me that you think I did it well :)

And thank you so much for wanting to swap with me! :)

- Avi

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Review #8, by Veritaserum27 Chapter One

27th April 2014:

I'm here for the review swap!

This was really loaded with the feels! My first reaction was to really understand how tormented Ron was about the whole thing. Great job with that!

As far as characterization goes - I love that Ron never could tell Hermione how much he really loved her. I always thought that, even though they got together at the end of book seven, they would still have a rocky relationship because the both of them were always as so awkward about their feelings for each other. I could see that carrying over to their post-Hogwarts relationship. I can also see that, after time, Hermione would just figure that Ron wasn't interested and move on. You've captured this so nicely. She wan't angry or frustrated with Ron, but just found someone else. I wish that perhaps, you were able to develop Draco's character a bit more. You explained the trio's forgiveness of him beautifully, but it would have been nice to see a little more about how he grew after the war.

I love your little touches about the minor characters. For example, Ron not being allowed to forget any family birthdays because it was dangerous with his mother. I laughed out loud at that part! Also, Harry was great. We always love Harry!

The story moved along nicely, and I particularly enjoyed the small flashback when Hermione was sick. You could just feel all the love pouring out of Ron. He remembered her favorite soup and stayed with her through her sickness. So sweet!

It was also a nice twist at the end with Hermione's murderer being Pansy. I did not see that coming! I actually didn't check that this was a one-shot and thought that it might be a first chapter in a murder-mystery novel. (Sorry!)

One suggestion I would make is to write in a small (VERY small) hint earlier on about Pansy. I can't say that I am the best at doing this but I absolutely LOVE stories that mentioned the culprit early on and I didn't even notice until it came back around at the end. It still works really well the way you've written it, so don't worry about that.

Ron's "sense" that something was wrong was another great clue that he was the one who loved her more. The fact that he still blames himself because he couldn't figure it out in time to save Hermione makes my heart squeeze.

The ending of the story was great! The way that Ron stayed at her grave after Draco left proves that he was the one she should have really been with and makes your heart ache even more. Even though he tells himself throughout the story that he has come to accept them as a couple and doesn't harbor any bad feelings for Draco, you've left the ending with Hermione and Ron together. Nice touch! You've written a beautiful Ron and Hermione love story where they aren't actually together and that takes some serious talent!

Thanks for writing this, I really enjoyed it!

Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response: Hi Beth! :)

I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply. You left me such a wonderful review!

I'm so happy you liked my version of Ron. I'm not entirely sure if I stayed in character, but I tried as much as I possibly could + adding a smidge of maturity, since he was an auror.

Yes, I've always imagined that too. That they be somewhat uncomfortable with their feelings and awkward in each others company, until the other finally moves on. I never want Ron to be some kind of idiot, as I love him very much. So in this story I wrote him as a guy who just didn't man himself up to tell her how he really feels. In a sweet way - or atleast that's what I aimed for :)

Haha, yay! I made you laugh! :D Even though this was a rather unfunny story :b

Yes, I should mention Draco a little bit and explain more about him. Maybe I'll do that in the future, when I get to edit this again.

Pansy, yeah... I didn't actually think about it, because there's a story (the "original" story that started it all) where we get to see it all from her side of the story. But it does makes sense to mention her a bit in the start, for those who haven't read my other one-shot :)

Thank you so much for wanting to reviewswap with me! And thank you for the advice :)

- Avi

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Review #9, by LightLeviosa5443 Chapter One

23rd January 2014:
Oh. My. Goodness.

One, you have so many stories, how do you do that?! I can't write one-shots for the life of me! Two, I knew this was coming, I knew it would happen, but how could you do that?! I can't even cope with the idea of Hermione dying.

You did such a brilliant job of writing out the emotions in this story. Of Ron loving Hermione and regretting that he never told her so. Oh Draco and Hermione's happiness. Harry's concern for Ron on the night of the Engagement party, and then everyone's sadness at her death. It was wonderfully written and I kind of teared up a bit.

The best part of your story was undoubtedly the ending. That simple "If you'd chosen me" was so amazing. This one-shot was amazing. Your summary says the story is going to be re-written. I'm interested in what you intend to do with it.

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hi again!

I can get too creative sometimes (too many plot ideas at once), so I work better with one-shots than actual long stories, for some reason :)

I know! I don't like myself for killing off Hermione but I wanted to shock the reader and to show how crazy Pansy actually is - that she'd go so far to "save" Draco and get him back.

I am so happy to hear you think that I did a good job on writing the emotions! That was my main concern while writing this (as I don't speak english, forming sentences can be quite hard sometimes) and I was so afraid it wasn't clear in the story - the feelings he experienced through the different parts of the story.

When I've re-written Psycopath, I'll re-write this as well - I feel that it needs more evidence of their friendship, I'm thinking of adding memories.

Love your reviews! *smiling like a happy fool*

- A

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Review #10, by kalanapatheis150 Chapter One

29th October 2012:
This gave me goosebumps

Author's Response: Hehe, I guess that's a good thing? :) thank you for your review!

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Review #11, by ilove_HP7899 Chapter One

5th April 2012:
Oh my god. This is truly amazingly brilliant. It made me cry. Books NEVER make me cry, let alone fanfictions.
To be honest, I am a bit scared now... and I'm scared to read Pyschopath.
I probably spelled that wrong...

Author's Response: Wow, I never really thought my story would cause someone to cry. So thank you! Not that I'm glad you cried, but that you were able to be moved by my story.
Hehe yeah you spelled it wrong but that doesn't matter. Thank you so much for your review!

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Review #12, by MiSTY_VoLPe Chapter One

1st April 2012:
Oh gosh soo sad and emotional! Loved psychopath and this was great! I didn't cry though. But if you end up doing one from Draco POV I will probably cry :/

Author's Response: Yes it's quite a sad story, but I'm glad you thought it was great :)
Hehe, I'm not sure if I want to write another with Dracos POV but I am working on a sequel - how she turned obsessive :)
Thank you for your review!

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Review #13, by Paige Chapter One

30th March 2012:
Sad Sad all too sad!! *sobbing* Beautiful but sad! I read Pycshopath before this and i have to say poor hermione had to lay there her fiancee next to her and die looking in the eyes of her murderer. And poor Ron he felt something was wrong all along. And Lastly, poor Draco the night of her engagment to his fiancee she died next to him and he didn't get the chance to save her. Great!!! 10/10

Author's Response: *squeals* 10/10 ?! God I'm so happy right now, thank you so much! Means so much to me :)
Yes the story is really really sad and twisted in some way (by not ending well) but I'm so glad you liked it! :) I'm actually working on a sequel to Psycopath, not sure when it will be up and about but it'll show how Pansy started to get obsessed :)
Thank you so much for your review!

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Review #14, by slytherinbadgirl Chapter One

30th March 2012:
okay i just got through a whole box of tissues - i read psychopath as well, it's really touching! :'(

Author's Response: Oh so sorry for that! ^_^
Thank you so much for your review!

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Review #15, by Bellatrix1 Chapter One

30th March 2012:
Oh, I almost cried at the end. Are you going to write one from Draco's perspective? That would be really cool.
Just a thought. Good job!

Author's Response: aww please don't cry :)
Well, maybe I could write from his perspective too... but since the story is already written from Pansy's POW too, it might be a little much :)
But I'm glad you liked my story!

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Review #16, by Bellatrix1 Chapter One

30th March 2012:
Oh, I almost cried at the end. Are you going to write one from Draco's perspective? That would be really cool.
Just a thought. Good job!

Author's Response: No I'm not, not at the moment. But I am working on a sequel to Psycopath - called 'Obsession' (or 'Obsessed' - not quite sure.) It will be about Pansy and how she slowly turned more and more obsessed with Draco :) Thank you so much for your review!

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