Reading Reviews for Crows + Locusts
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Illuminate Crows + Locusts

30th September 2012:
Hi! Tag!

This is a really sad and poignant oneshot...I mean, it's sad, but happy too! Does that make sense? I think your characterisations of Lily and James are just perfect, especially James's humour, it's really reminiscent :)

You make their wistfulness and fear so strong, it's just wonderful. And the ending- it gives you goosebumps.

Great job :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Yeah it does make sense: bittersweet. Thank you! I was really worried about writing James because, even though we don't see much of him in the stories people still have a collected idea of what James is supposed to act like.

Thank you for the wonderful review!
Jasmine, x

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Review #2, by Opalpixiechick Crows + Locusts

17th July 2012:
I love this. It is very sweet and you did an amazing job. :)

Author's Response: Thank you!


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Review #3, by ariellem Crows + Locusts

6th May 2012:
Awww! This was definitively the best one by far, so bittersweet the way you described their last moment because in that moment they seemed like they could last forever, but you know they didn't.

Great, awesome, job!

Author's Response: Thank you! I loved writing it and I'm glad it was enjoyable to read :P Thank you!

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Review #4, by Sapphire_Skies Crows + Locusts

4th May 2012:
Hi there, this is SapphireatDawn from the forums with your review. Iím so sorry itís so shockingly late.

I love anything Lily and James, and while this was perhaps a tad too fluffy for me, I still liked how bittersweet the ending was. I want to cry out to them just to run! Run away now! However, I do have to tell you that Lils was seventies posh slang for breasts, so I canít see Lily being too happy at being called that. But that is something I would never in a million years expect you to know.

I also thought that at times, your dialogue was a little expositionary and therefore rather forced an unnatural. For example when you mention the parents. While I actually really like the idea of a loveless marriage between Jamesí parents (a different way of explaining why he was so loved as a child), I didnít feel that it needed to be mentioned, the same with Lilyís friends. It felt like you were trying to give a bit of background, which I understand, especially in the case of the parents as Lily is clearly worrying about it, but doing so in dialogue I donít think worked very well. It would have been better, perhaps, to have told the story from the perspective of one of the characters, who can then think about their parents. It would feel a lot more natural.

But I thought that Lilyís concerns and worries were natural. I didnít really understand why you were referring to the war as Ďupcomingí because theyíre pretty much in the middle of it now. Several members of the Order of the Phoenix have died, and we hear a lot in the books about the murders, disappearances and fear that was around when the first war was on. The war that ended with the deaths of Lily and James. But back to my original point. I thought that the way Lily was worrying about raising a family was very well done, and I also liked Jamesí attempts to reassure her. I imagine either one or both of them would be feeling like this fairly often. Very well done.

On the characterisation side of things, I think you did a good job there as well. I think the idea of James still being rather bewildered at the fact heís a father is believable; they are only twenty one and having been such an un-serious person in school, I think at times he might, perhaps not struggle with the idea, but be shocked, perhaps, at the fact that heís a dad. One thing I would say, though, is at the beginning you say this,

Ď...or did you inherit your motherís brains?í

Throughout the series, itís actually James we hear about with the reams of talent and intelligence. McGonagall refers to him either as one of the brightest sheís ever taught, or one of the brightest in the year (canít remember which), so itís not just Lily with the brains. I just thought Iíd mention this as I come across it quite a lot in fics.

However, overall, I thought this was a sweet yet very sad little one-shot. Nice job.

Author's Response: Hi!

Is it really? Oh god, I shall fix that and you're right - I had no idea :P Yeah, dialogue isn't my strong point but I'm working on it, thanks :)

Good point about the war - I may change that one day if I ever remember (I have a terrible memory)

Thank you for such a detailed and amazing review! I'll take everything you said into consideration when I edit it :D


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Review #5, by cazvalleygirl Crows + Locusts

29th April 2012:
Hello : )

And a very big pat on the back for writing such an enjoyable one shot. Lily's last sentence actually gave me goosebumps. Of course we all know that James and Lily's story doesn't end with a happy ever after, but reading your portrayal of their last day it really added the human element to their sad story.

An excellent attempt on a James/Lily fic, well done Cazvalleygirl :)

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you! *receives pat on the back happily as I do not get one often*

It wasn't originally intended to be set in that time but it just sort of... happened.

Thank you!

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Review #6, by Danielle Crows + Locusts

26th April 2012:
Oh gosh! This is so adorable, but so sad at the same time. I didn't know you were going to throw the Halloween thing in the end, but I should have known when you put in that Harry was a year old. My goodness, this is so great! Please keep writing. You know how to make a really fantastic fanfic! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Haha, I didn't even know that I was going to write it until it happened :P Thank you! I'm working on another Marauder story at the moment with three main shippings (Frank&Alice, James&Lily and Narcissa&Lucuis)

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Review #7, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Crows + Locusts

23rd April 2012:
Oh no! That was really sad. The end, the beginning, the middle. I loved everything about it. Oh, they have a song! I want a song, with a man and to dance. But I can't dance and my boyfriend listens to awful music. There's something about Lily and James as parents that just fits right for me, oh and Remus would have been the godfather! I think that rings true because I'm sure Lily loved Sirius but I think Remus would have been closer to her and James would have gone with whatever she wanted. Excellent job!

Author's Response: I'm sorry for making it sad! it wasn't originally intended to be sad but it kinda turned out that way haha :/ I WANT A SONG TOO! At least you have a boyfriend, I have a guy who doesn't know that I like him :/ I've always imagined James and Lily being reasonably good parents and doting on Harry alot because he was their only child. My headcanon is that both Remus and Sirus were going to be the godfather but his "furry little problem" got in the way. Thank you!

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Review #8, by MercyWaters Crows + Locusts

17th April 2012:
Hello! I saw your post on the Review thread, so I decided to come check this out. Welcome to Ravenclaw! (:

I thought this lovely, a good first try to James/Lily. I love the interactions between them and how comforting James is to Lily. Their love and affection for one another seemed realistic and nothing seemed forced. The dialogue at the beginning when James was playing with Harry was cute as well. :) The writing flowed well and I didn't notice any glaring grammatical or spelling mistakes.

I especially loved how you ended it. It was so bittersweet, seeing them so happy with one another, yet knowing within hours their happiness would end. It gives the reader a feeling of sadness, which in this case isn't a bad thing. It means you're writing effectively and pulling at our heart strings.

Lovely job! Keep writing!

Bri xx

Author's Response: That was quick! Thank you, I love being a 'Claw already :D

Thank you! It's always how I imagined James&Lily to be with a war hanging over their heads (not to mention a prophecy) Thank you!

Everyone has said that! I would have written their death scenes but it didn't work out. Thank you!

Jas, xx

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Review #9, by ericajen Crows + Locusts

17th April 2012:
OMG ALL THE FEELINGS FOR THIS FIC. I was pretty much cringing the whole time, just waiting for the inevitable ending of sadness. You didn't actually write that part but it's still there, looming over them all ominous and depressing.

I think you wrote this fic really well. It would be nothing without the emotions in it, because without the right tone of emotion in it, it wouldn't be sad to know that James and Lily are about to die. But you wrote the emotions of it very well and it is indeed very sad.

That whole family scene was heart-wrenchingly adorable. I always pictured James to be like that as a dad. He's so cute. And they make such a perfect family, and you captured that about them really well, which makes it all the more heartbreaking that they won't be a family together for much longer. Very, very heartbreaking.

I really enjoyed this. I think you wrote it well and managed to grasp the right emotions that made it so sad but sort of bittersweet in the sense that we got to see those moments of happiness that they had.

Nicely done!


Author's Response: Thank you! SORRY ABOUT ALL THE FEELS!
I was going to write their death scene *even the thought of that makes me cringe* but it didn't work.

Thank you! It's how I always imagined them to be as well so I'm glad I'm on the same page as someone :D

Thank you!

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Review #10, by bri_5_stars Crows + Locusts

13th April 2012:
This is so adorable. Yet somehow foreboding at the same time, since as the reader I know that Lily and James are doomed. Which makes your depiction of their relationship, (the sentimental moments, tension and arguments) even better, for lack of a better word lol. Any way, I love this. Kudos on the awesome writing. :D

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I think it was really obvious that this was a Halloween fic but everyone who reads it tries to deny it haha. Dont' worry, I did it while I was writing it as well.

Thank you!

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Review #11, by anythingbutmuggle Crows + Locusts

12th April 2012:
This is so saad- the ending, I mean. Very well done, I loved it. (: I've only just started reading Lily and James stories and you've just boosted my opinion about them, haha!


Author's Response: Thank you! I've only just started reading James&Lily too, if you want to read some good Jily fan fics then check out atellam she writes brilliant ones!


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Review #12, by Crescent Moon  Crows + Locusts

12th April 2012:
Aww... I love this one-shot it was so sweet!! Really well written :D I can't wait to read more of your work.
P.S. I never normally say this as I know you didn't make it but your banner is AMAZING!!

Author's Response: THank you! I know, the banner's amazing, it was made by Dora Winfired at tda!

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Review #13, by ginerva_molly_weasley Crows + Locusts

10th April 2012:
Hey here I am with your review from review tag!

I love this piece! It shows the love Lily and James had from each other by him remembering that that song was 'their' song. And it also showed the bittersweet moment that Harry was with his mother and father and when James said Harry not showing him the love you realise that well they won't be there any longer after that evening.

It's interesting that Lily is skeptical about the marauders and her friends coming to their ouse because obviously theyre very scared about being found by Voldermort. And I LOVE the way you remembered to mention Peter. That really showed your skill as a writer to me.

The end really tugged on the heart strings because it reminded us that they were going to die that day!

Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you! I just always think that Lily would be so stressed out and worried about Harry that she would become cautious of everyone (beside her family of course)

Of course I remembered Peter! He may have been a snivelling rat that betrayed his best friends but he was still a Marauder whether people like it or not. Thank you!!!


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Review #14, by AC_rules Crows + Locusts

9th April 2012:
You know when you know it's Halloween at the beginning of the story but you keep telling yourself that you're just being paranoid and that, actually, this is just a nice little one-shot about the Potter's without it being tainted by that damn date (I've done it myself before, but it doesn't make it any less horrible - don'twantlilyandJamestodie).

Anyways, my favorite bit was definitely when James was talking to Harry and calling him chubby because, awhh, it was just adorable and beautiful and I wanted to give them both a hug and wrap em up in bubble rap so they'd be safe.

So, this was really sweet and I enjoyed it a lot :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I loved writing that bit- I just love writing about Parent/Children relationships in general :)

Thank you!

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Review #15, by jaisy Crows + Locusts

6th April 2012:
i really love this, its so amazing :) absolutely no criticisms and usually i'm full of them. so beautiful and sad. amazing :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you likes it!

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Review #16, by Owlpost68 Crows + Locusts

4th April 2012:
Hi, I'm here from the review swap :)
I thought this was really good, there was only one part that didn't need a '?' it was when they were discussing their parents, when james said 'aren't you?' A period should be fine.

Annyway, on to the good stuff. This was really great showing the emotion they have as parents, and the love they have for each other. It's of course hard to read how happy they are when it's right before everything happened :( That really emphasized the drama of it. You've definitely gotten me remembering my story I want to do. Whenever I read this era nowadays I'm like, I really need to write this, but I'm also writing a WIP and want to start another, my first non canon, so I really don't know when I'll be able to do the one for this era.
lol see what you did, you got me musing at 10pm :P lolol
but that's a great thing too lol.
Very sweet, very real and sad too.
Great job!!

Author's Response: Yay for review swaps!
Thank you! Ah, well I'll edit that when I get a chance. Thanks for pointing that out.

Thank you! it wasn't originally planned to be a Halloween fic but it kind of turned out that way :( Well, let me know when your next Marauder story is up- I'd love to read it :D

Haha, thank you!

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Review #17, by Siriusgirl Crows + Locusts

4th April 2012:
That was beautifully written. So sad two know that James and Lily never got to be parents, but they'd been great ones had they lived. I love how you wrote them, very down to earth, uncertain and trying to make the best, and very much in love. So bitter sweet. Love it!

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah I know it's honestly the saddest shipping to ever grace the earth :( *starts crying* Thank you!

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Review #18, by CloakAuror9 Crows + Locusts

4th April 2012:
What have you done?! OMG! I'm so sorry for acting so girlish, but I put on my mascara before reading your story and now...its smudging all over my face because its not waterproof. I am crying so much. This is one of the best piece of James/Lily writing I have ever read.

This is really really bitter-sweet... When I read the last line...I died. How could you?! OMG! You better win this thing.

This is so so so so so so good! I love it!

Author's Response: I'm sorry! When I first started reading this I though I was in trouble haha. I'm sorry for making you cry, that really wasn't the purpose of it :( *hugs*

Thank you!

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