Gabbie!

... I am a horrible human being. Please forgive me for practically abandoning you these last few months. I'm so sorry.

Anyway, on to this chapter. Well... wow. You just continue to awe me with your words. And your characters. And your Percy. He was a little scary in this to be honest, I'm not sure I would have reacted quite like Audrey did... but then again, I'm pretty sure they're soul mates, so she has an excuse.

So, firstly, Joseph. What an idiot. You capture his creepiness perfectly and he is really rather repulsive. I think it must be quite hard for Audrey to witness that a man she really admired and looked up could be so foul in real life. She never gets it easy, does she? I can see why Percy acted in the way he did.

Secondly, Remmington. You like your creepy guys in this story, don't you. But he is just a down and out bully. I cannot believe he fired Audrey over a fight that she wasn't even in! What is she going to do? I just want Percy to take her home and introduce her to Mrs Weasley so she can feel loved and fed and looked after. But something tells me you aren't going to be so nice. But yeah, men like Remmington, the world can do without. I just hope that him firing her means we never have to see him again.

And then we have Percy. Well, like I said, he was a little scary in this chapter. I mean, you hinted at it before but we never quite got to witness it the way we do in this chapter. You capture that dangerous, wounded animal really well and I'm torn between wanting to flinch away from him and wanting to giving him a massive hug and tell him everything will be okay. But I'm sure Audrey will do that for me.

And Audrey. She just keeps on going, no matter what life throws at her. She's one of my favourite female characters that you've written. I love how no matter how serious the situation is, Audrey can always say something, or think something that will make me laugh. I just want her to have her happy ending, Merlin knows she deserves one.

And finally... He. Asked. Her. To. Be. His. Girlfriend. Or rather, he implied it and she asked it for him. In typical Audrey fashion. I loved it and I'm so pleased that they are taking their less than normal relationship to the next stage, so to speak.

So, I cannot wait to see where this is going! Please, please, please update soon and I will try my very best to leave you a review much quicker than this latest gap. But I haven't abandoned you, I promise!

Amazing chapter (as always),

GirlOnTheSidelines xxx

P.S. Sorry about the essay.

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, you! I'm sorry that I'm just now coming back to you, I would have answered this sooner but I've been busy and all that jazz. Anyway, thanks for coming back to both Audrey and Percy once again!
I think writing Percy as a scarier, darker character is alot more challenging and the fact that he's getting such a reaction really makes me feel relieved. It was very difficult to do and by the end of the day, I feel pretty darn proud of myself. Anyway, putting Joseph more as a creeper was done on purpose to show Audrey that not everything she thinks is what it really is. For one, considering that Percy looks so straight laced and really being quite the dashing hero while Joseph, who is handsome and rich and famous being, well, a jerk was done on purpose. After all, there are alot of things that Audrey still needs to learn and I wanted to make that glaringly obvious.
Right?
I dunno. I think I just like writing creepy blokes and then we get to Remmington, who is a really nasty bit of work!
As for Audrey, she's going to work something out and she does have Percy as her support so that's something that I'll play around with while going through the motions of the later half of the story. Its actually going to be longer than I'd planned.
You do see Remmington again, and it will not be pretty. Just as a warning. ;)
I think Audrey is the sort of girl that would do everything and anything to get what she wants and that makes her a really great character to write. She's also a favorite female too of mine, personally, she has so much grit to her and she's hilarious.
She'll get her happy ending but it won't be in the way you think and I'd rather have it more realistic with that then say, Percy suddenly being this perfect masterpiece of a man. That's so boring...and well, I like angst and I never make it easy for you all. >:D
Bwhahaha! Percy asked Audrey to be his girl but then she went on and sort of demanded it right? Hahahah, I loved that entire scene because they're just too silly.
I have some ideas in mind for the next half of the story, so bear with me and don't hate me too much for taking forever...and ever...and ever...
Anyway, update your stories! :D
I miss them!
OMG, how is Second Choice?!!!
ARGH, I need my Vivian fix too!
*Flips over table*
Thanks for coming back!
Much love of course,
Gabbie

 Report Review

This is an interesting take on Percy and Audrey. I hope you will continue writing.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for reading through this, I was never certain if anyone would enjoy this take on Percy and Audrey. It means alot to this old lady! D': I will continue writing it as soon as I settle some grown up issues so I hope you won't mind the long wait!
Thanks again!
Much love,'
Gabbie

 Report Review

I read this chapter the moment in was posted and I was under the impression that I left a review untill I read all my review and realised that I didn't. Which is really bad of me, so please forgive me!

To make sure I wasn't going to write total rubbish I read it again, which was fine, because I really like this chapter.
First thing I loved was Percy, his temper and his insecuraty. He really is someone that has to be saved. He thinks he has to save everyone, but really he is the one that needs saving. In this chapter it becomes so clear that something from the past is still hunting him. I want to know what it is. Why he is so tense and scared to be himself.

It's amazing that Audrey got free. She might not have a job anymore but she will no longer be treated as trash, which will be a huge improvement. I really just want her to be happy and that place wasn't going to make her happy.

You characters really got to me, and I'm felling for them. I feel this strong need for them to find peace. It's a little like when I was reading the last Harry Potter book. In the end all I really wanted was for Harry to have a happy and quiet live.

I guess what I'm saying with a lot of words is: I love this story, please please please come back to it soon!!!

Maya

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you my dear for coming back to this story and I'm so glad that you enjoy it so much! This is actually a very popular story for me right now and I have no idea why but you guys are super amazing. *Smooches*
Percy, my dear Percy. I think there are so many things happening to him at once and that he can't quite express himself properly. I never saw him as a very emotional character in the actual HP books either but he may need to be saved before its too late. ;)
I think with Audrey, she's the sort of character that bounces back no matter what happens to her. She's going to struggle but she's going to make it, my girl is a strong one you know! :D
Oh, gosh, thank you so much. I get compliments on my characters alot and their emotions and well, gosh! *Blush* Thank you so much! I promise you that my characters in this story will be happy, its just going to take a while to get there.
Life is like that, you know? :D
And plus, I'm mean to you all because I like to imagine what your faces look like when I leave a juicy cliffie.
I'll be back before you know it!
Thank you again~!
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Hello darling! Wow, when you said the story was ... mature. I did not expect that. My jaw dropped.

This is such an original idea, I love how interesting this Audrey character is and just so ... devil-may-care. This is the kind of subject that needs to be approached with maturity, since girls in this line of work generally tend to have little respect for themselves and those around them.

But Audrey, she is a force of nature. She is determined, stubborn and has the strangest taste in men (Percy, really?). I fell in love with her character from the start.

Percy was very well written as well. There is this maturity about him, but not the arrogant kind that we saw in the books, more like the kind that comes with great trials and sufferings. He's turning into a man and I love seeing this.

This was a lovely first chapter. You have such a way with words that I am simply in awe of how well you got into the minds of these characters from the first chapter! Good job! :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, lovely! Thanks for coming by with this review, I hadn't thought that this would shock you so much but it is really mature. I made sure to warn anyone who was going to read it for me of that on their review thread.
Thanks so much for liking this idea! It was a stretch for me for sure but Audrey is really devil may care but she's also very street smart which was something I wanted to show.
In her line of work, there comes alot of times when she may have a lack of respect for herself and that might show in her own story but all in all, she's the sort of girl that knows what she wants even when she doesn't understand it.
Oh, yes, Audrey's taste in men is odd but if you wanted to read this from her POV, just look at "This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste" on my author page. Percy is alluring to her for really weird reasons! :D
Percy is like my second lover, I'm usually a George person but I'm really enjoying him as a character. Oooh, saying that he was a man after such trials and sufferings is such a great thing to say! I didn't even think of that!
Oh, stop it! If you knew how much I struggled with this you would not say that! *Blush*
As of now, this is only a one-shot but I might keep going, so many people like it! :D
Thanks so much!
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

GABBIE THIS WAS SO GOOD. IT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING CHAPTER. THE FEELS JUST KILLED ME.
I was sucked in right from the opening line, and was on the edge of my seat hoping that Percy wouldn't get hurt! But it was so sweet of him to defend Audrey like that! Even though he got really scary in the process! I agree with Audrey, I didn't think he had that on him! But I think you wrote that side of him incredibly well, and I would have never expected him to explode like that, which made it even more interesting to read. Both he and Audrey just have so much depth to them!!! You're so good ad layering you're characters, and I'm jealous! :)
And then Remmington came along and he really creeps me out. He's just a gross guy! And he fired Audrey!? I hope she finds another job so she can pay her bills and keep going to college! Maybe the Weasleys can take her in once she finds out Percy's a wizard and can help her out until she finds a job!
AND THEN THE END OF THIS CHAPTER WITH PERCY AND AUDREY'S CONVERSATION IN THE ALLEY. IT WAS BRILLIANT AND I LOVED IT. I can't wait for the next chapter because he has some important things to tell Audrey!!!
This was a phenomenal chapter, and I can't wait for your next update! AND A FORCE OF WILLS IS NEXT. YES. Blaise, my darling, I'll see you soon! :) I'm updating TFD next and then it's back to Holding On! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Cassie, welcome back! :D I get so excited reading your reviews you know.
I think that opening scene was enough to really keep me going with this chapter when I was about to get rid of it. I mean, I hadn't really thought I'd open it with something so violent but then again, I am Gabbie Hunter and I like violence. Hehehehe.
Percy would do anything for Audrey at this point so defending her was just really natural. He got really, really scary in the process but I think it was something that Audrey needed to see for herself. Percy has been bound to explode sooner or later and it just happened at a moment when he thought Audrey needed him. Cause he's a sweetie. Although slightly eerie...
Oh, stop it! I struggled so much writing this chapter and I'm never sure if I cover emotion well in any of my stories. A Force of Wills just KILLS me every time!
Remmington is a creepy dude but he comes back in the next chapter and well, things go down. Hahahhaha. And yes, he's gross. :D
Audrey might have to look for another job soon but gosh, what a great idea with her getting help from the Weasley's during this! Wow, thank you Cassie for the plunny, I'm totally stealing it! I hadn't even thought of that!!
Mwhahahahha.
Percy and Audrey's conversation took me a LONG time to write and I'm so thrilled you enjoyed it. My gosh, you're the best! :D
I have a plunny for the next chapter and lets just pray I get it up there before I go to basic!
Whoo!
And yes, A Force of WIlls is next and your darling Blaise misses you! Ooh, TFD and then Holding On? I'll get to reading the latest chapter of ASOS soon! :D
Much love as usual,
Gabbie

 Report Review

OH MY GAWD I LOVE THIS TO BITS! PERFECTION!

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, this is a nice surprise, thanks so much for coming to this story and you for coming to this. *Blushes*
Thank you so much!
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

well, I do not see why I would hate you...
this story really amazes me, it's really touching me.

I hope Percy did not just put himself in to much trouble for him to handle. I love how he protects her though, Weasley protectiveness is legendary after all! At least it is im my book :)

you schould really write some more... soon!
I don't think i can wait very long for the next chapter.
You seem to capture tension and emotions really well. That make the story really good!

keep on writing and I will love you even more!! :)

x

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, I'm just getting so surprised by how many people keep coming back to this story, I'm very flattered and have no way of thanking you properly. :D
I am so glad that this is touching you, I'm so happy to see that I have that sort of affect on my readers. T-T
Percy has gotten into too much for him to handle by dealing with Audrey to be honest. I mean, really, there's so much that he can't say at the moment and his desire for her will, in the next chapter, prove to be powerful, dangerous stuff! ;)
Percy would fight off a horde for Audrey. :D
Oh, keep on reading! There are three more chapters after this one I think and until I update again, feel free to come back all you like! :D
Please?
Hahahhaa.
I love writing emotion! Its something that I'm very good at, I think *Ego swells*. ;)
I shall keep on!
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Wow, this story is awesome! It has a all of tension in it, but it's cute all the same.
I like it a lot so far...

I've got to keep reading now... can't leave a longer review!

x

Author's Response: Hello!

Since we've never spoken before, its very nice to meet you, I'm Gabbie! :) I am getting really surprised by all the people that keep coming back to this story, I didn't think that anyone would really like it. This is so nice! :D
There will be more tension, more cute moments and other things if you keep reading on, I can't thank you enough. :)
Thanks so much and no sweat on not leaving a longer review! :D
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Hey Gabbie,

I'm really enjoying your story. It is wonderfully edgy and fun to read. It's a love story of sorts with a spin that is enjoyable to read. I love Audrey unabashed attraction to Percy and she tells him in the crudest of ways. Love it!

I like how much thought you put into the Negligee Night and Audrey costume. Gosh love, love, love that Audrey was dancing for Percy because it made her night easier and then there he was. He was watching and I'm sure he liked it. LOL! Awe... She hugged him because she was so happy to see him. It is so sweet and even though Percy made her let go I hope he didn't really want that. The whole you-need-to-stay-away-from-me-because-I'm-dangerous-but-I-can't-stay-away-from-you is great to read. It keep me intrigued to the very last line and makes me want to read more because I need to know when he comes back.

Sigh, finally her advances are getting her somewhere when she tells him she will wait for him. Lovely!! And then he smiles. Awe moment!!

I can't wait to read more!!!

Meg

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, Meg, nice to see you back and reading this, its always a pleasure. And thank you so much for liking this story, I keep thinking that this is far fetched and that people won't really enjoy it...
I suppose I could call this a stripper/mystery/violent/bizarre love story, as it sort of goes into all those directions. And yes, Audrey's attraction to Percy is really blunt isn't it? Hehehe.
And she's not shy about it either.
You know, I was sure that the Negligee Night would get this chapter rejected but I was really surprised that it didn't. The fact that I wrote it at all was a great accomplishment for me, I was worried that I wouldn't get the flow right. But anyway, Audrey's costume was put in my mind from watching weird commercials after midnight. They show some weird stuff then...
And yes, she danced for Percy and he was watching and.he liked it. We know he did but he'll never say it out loud! Hahahhaah. Or did he? Hahaha.
Audrey does more than hug him later. ;)
I'm glad that you like the dynamics with this and their strange attraction to one another, I hope that you keep reading! :D
He actually comes back very soon in the next chapter. I'll have to re-request...
Ah, that ending. Its actually one of my favorites in this story! Makes me all fuzzy!
Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to drop by whenever you like or I'll just be a stalker and keep re-requesting! >:D
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Ive gotten google reader updates for chs 8 and 9, but hpff isn't displaying them at all. I've tried using different web browsers too.

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, nice to meet you. I've only gotten one chapter, chapter 8 right now that's going through validation, it might take another day or so before its up on HPFF! D':
You can try again then to see but I'm pretty sure that's all it is. Sometimes waiting for a story to be up takes a few days at the most, I hope things are sorted out though.
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Gabbie,

I'm humming in delight after this chapter. I just love, love, love this couple and how you have developed each of their personalities. I love Percy and I'm would who was his friend that passed away, Fred?? His attraction is constantly being brought down by his insercurity with himself and his past. I wonder, is he blaming himself for the death of the friend? Or Fred? I just wonder because you mentioned that he thought himself a horrible brother. Or does he think he is a horrible brother because he abandoned his family during the beginning of the war. Hmmm...

Audrey is spunky and funny. I think she must be a riot to write with her funny one-liners and sexual innuendo's riddle through out the chapter. I love readng about her liking Percy almost to the point of obsession.

This is so fun to read and I can't wait to read more.

Meg

Author's Response: Hello!

Meg! What a nice surprise, thanks for coming back to this, I was just thinking of re-requesting for you but you've come on your own! *Blush*
I am so happy that you enjoyed this chapter, I think its one of my favorites. It really showed just how much fun writing Percy and Audrey can be! Haha. There's all this clash with the two of them and I really can't understand why I love them so much sometimes.
I think I'll get to him talking about his deceased friend (Or Fred) soon. There were other things in the later chapters that drew you away from that issue but I'll get to it soon. I hope. D':
Alot of Percy's insecurities come from what he did in the past, not all of them from canon and some of them alot darker than what you might be used to, coming from him. You shall just have to wait and see! ;)
Why thank you! Audrey so much fun to write, I love her to death. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this! I hope to see you back again, I'll be looking forward to it! :)
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Hello Gabbie!

Truthfully I have read anything about Percy and Audrey. Please forgive me if I am ignorant on a few things but I will give it a go.

Love, Love, Love. I haven't read this couple before but I like your take on the couple. I will be reading more.

I am so curious as to why Percy has dead eyes and what he did that he finds truly horrible that he cannot even flirt with a pretty girl. Hmm… Fascinating. All throughout this chapter I could not decide if her like Audrey or not. At times he did and then the next statement he was saying something condescending.

Audrey is something all together. I like her mannerisms and the way she handles Percy. I think my favorite part of the whole chapter is when she warned him about attacking him and he said he would not stop her. I thought it was cute. Audrey is very crude but I like it. I think the way she acts is her defense against guys and fun to read.

I can't wait to read more.

Meg

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and reading this story for me, I'm never sure if anyone likes it. Not only because its Percy/Audrey but because of the content but thanks so much for enjoying it! :)
I haven't read much Percy/Audrey to be honest but I thought going in a weird direction with them for this story would be really fun. I had already had in my head what Percy would be like from a previous story but it was great getting back into his character again. And throwing Audrey in the mix. :3
Oh, Percy will go into more detail about what's wrong with him as this story goes on, I'm actually up to that point now in the chapter I'm writing and being too lazy to finish. ;)
I think you could try reading, "That Night", its a one-shot from his POV from this whole chapter that might shed some light on his feelings for Audrey.
And I might go in this and change his attitude towards her, he comes off as a major jerk. Hahaha.
Bwhaha, I love Audrey, she's great. She's a really laid back kind of girl and she's extremely crude, which gives her some really fun lines. Percy isn't sure how to handle that! Hehe, he wouldn't have stopped her if she'd attacked him! ;)
Audrey's attitude does play a large part in her surroundings, thanks for noticing! :D
I shall re-request then!
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Heyy! Its Mya here for your requested review! =)

Alright I just love Audrey! She's so sweet :P I'm glad she found him. (actually squealed and all. yupp now my family thinks im insane) and Percy is really adorable too. The whole TV thing was insanely funny and it showed Arthur in Percy you know? Though he has changed alot from the person he used to be.

Greak work :P


Once CC I would offer is that to maybe show what he means by "i have tried to get along w ppl like you before but just didn't work out". like how you talked about him being uncomfortable in a strip place last time but never really cleared exactly why :P

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thanks for all the lovely reviews by the way, I wasn't expecting this at all. :D
I really love Audrey too, she's a great character to write for and she always makes me smile a little. I think she's just so different from Percy that you have to just love her a little more, it makes for fun conversations.
Percy and the TV shall continue to be funny, I think he actually breaks it at some point. Its something that I actually thought I'd add in, as one of the children had to be like their dad.
Hahaha, I go into more detail about Percy and his bad habits later! :D Its just some foreshadowing for this story. :D
Bad writing on my part?
Perhaps.
Hehehehe.
Anyhoo, thanks for reading and coming to this after I requested, it means the world.
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

I just realized that I entirely forget your author note on the side story to this story (sorry it's getting late and I'm getting less understandable...). I had to read more. You have me hooked! I promise to leave a more competent review on the next chapter!
Love it!
GingeredTea

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for coming back! I didn't think anyone would really like this story so its nice getting some feedback on it. I thought the idea was going to turn alot of people off but I hope you'll be able to keep reading. I try so hard...
Hahahha.
Thanks so much again, its really nice seeing you! I'll be checking out Devlin today too, I've been weirdly swamped lately and haven't had time to read much. T-T
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Ahhh... Hello!

How could you leave us with that? I hope Percy doesn't do anything too stupid but that Joseph guy needs a real lesson in manner if you ask me.

Once again, an amazing chapter. I loved the bit at the beginning where they were trying to tickle each other. Cannot wait for more of them getting to know each other and finding things out about the other as well.

Please update soon!

Lots of love,
GirlOnTheSidelines.

Author's Response: Hello!

*Fangirls* GTS! I'm So happy to see you back, you're the best. :3
I had to leave you guys on a cliffhanger because the next chapter is sooo intense already. I've got a bit of it written and its just going in this really dark direction! :D
Uhm, Percy might not be so kind to Joseph, who does need to learn some manners!
Bwhaha, that tickle fight was fun to write because Audrey was intent on squeezing his bum. HAHAHAH.
Oh, they're going to get to know one another, they'll have no choice. :3 Things are getting to the point where secrets aren't going to stay hidden if I have my way with this story.
Mwhaahahahahahahah.
Will be updating after "A Force of Wills", which you still need to catch up on! D':
Anyway, thanks for coming by!
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

dude keep going I want to see Percy in a bar fight

Author's Response: HellO!

Hahha, we've never spoken before so its nice to meet you. I'm Gabbie! :3
I will most likely keep going with this story so no worries. I actually typed a bit of the next chapter last night but will go over it again and finish it and such. Hahaha. Percy fighting in general is enough to keep ME reading, right? Hahahah. Glad that you liked this enough to leave a review! :)
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Hi Gabbie! This chapter. Ah SO MANY FEELINGS.
This chapter was fabulous! I loved it! I'm so excited that Percy and Audrey are finally together, and I really love them as a couple, because you write them so perfectly, so the fact that they want to get to know one another makes me really happy!
This chapter reminded me how much I love the way you've written Audrey's character. A lot of people make her very stuffy and uptight, because that's how Percy is portrayed in the HP books, but I love the fact that your version of Audrey is so wild and crazy and fun! She brings out a lighter, much less serious side of Percy that is nice to see!
Also, I though that he and Audrey were so cute together in this chapter! The way that they really want to get to know each other, and care about one another's feelings is really sweet! Also, I love how awkward they can be sometimes. It makes this feel so real, because they don't have a perfect relationship.
They end of the chapter was brilliant! It was probably my favorite part, actually. I loved how Percy stood up for Audrey, and wanted to protect her. And THE VERY END OF THE CHAPTER. OH MY GOSH.
Percy appeared as straight-laced as usual in his clothes but there was something feral and wolfish and.dangerous about him
That gave me chills! I could picture it so clearly, and I loved your description of Percy! But I'm nervous that he's going to get into trouble for attacking Joseph Wring!
This chapter was amazing and I can't wait for your next update! What story is next? I'll keep you posted on my updates over on the forums! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Its always such a pleasure getting your lovely reviews. :3
*Hands candy*
Was this the chapter that really set up Percy and Audrey as a couple? I think so and I think not on some things, but that might just be me trying to hold back on it a little more. But as I read through it, I think the two of them being "just friends" isn't ever going to happen. There's just too many feelings between them and so much need that it can't be denied, though neither of them will openly admit to being a couple, you all know what happened. Hehehe.
Yep, I think Audrey and Percy getting closer was a really important factor for this chapter and I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :D
You know, I'm not sure why Audrey would have to be stiff and boring just because Percy is portrayed that way. Usually, people go for the opposite of what/how they are, at least to me and she really adds more depth and interest to Percy. She's funny and wild and crazy and she wants to pinch his bum. :D
Don't we all? :3
I think there's going to be alot of awkwardness between them for a while but their banter and relationship is really sweet sometimes! :D
Bwhahah, you didn't like Audrey running around trying to squeeze Percy's tight little bum, Cassie?! Gasp! HAHAHA. Anyway, I actually like the last scene and the first half of this chapter the most myself.
So many feels! >_<
Percy's secrets are about to start coming out and well, let's just hope Joseph Wring's face is in decent condition by the end, yes? :p
Uhm, I think I'm going to update for that George story, "Memories" next. It needs some love. And then maybe Albus again, it depends on my weird moods. :D
But anyway, thanks for the review! And I'll be looking at TFD soon!
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Hey Gabbie, I'm here with your review!

As I've read your one-shot about Percy meeting Audrey before reading this, it was fun to compare what the other one thought of each other, and I loved Audrey's first description of Percy of him being stiff and awkward!

It was really sweet that Audrey liked Percy as well, and thought of him as cute! You can really see how bad a way he was in, if his eyes were all glassy. I'm guessing that Audrey will be the one to help him overcome that, as she's so exuberent and extreme it would have to make him snap out of it! And I guess it was nice that she picked him out, and was going to help him through his grieving by giving him a dance ;)

It was funny how Audrey picked up on little things, as people probably think she's dumb because she's a stripper, when in fact she appears to be rather intelligent. Like her witty remarks, and her worry for the other dancers and the children. She seems to have a rather warm inside, which contrasts nicely, with her haughty exterior!

A little brit pick here, by college I assume you mean university? And burger joint/bar isn't really said much, I guess you would say place:)

N'aw Percy and Audrey were so cute when they were eating, and the way she wanted to see him again, was really sweet as they are polar opposites so having them together, would just be hilarious! Imagine their arguments!

There were a couple of run on sentences, but I can't really criticise you for them, as I'm prone to having loads of them as well! I understand though, as it's just so boring going back and seeing where you need a comma or a full stop!

I would have said more, but I said most of it in That Night, and unless you want another review that long again, but like I said before it was a great chapter as usual Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, doll. Always nice seeing you popping back with your reviews that I requested because I like responding to your lovely reviews. And such. :D
It is pretty fun to read this from Audrey's POV, since That Night is basically this whole first chapter from Percy's! She comes off as really sweet and her attraction to Percy just makes it sort of weird, but nice in its own way. She had wanted to give him a free dance and other things, hehehehe.
You know, I had thought of that before too but Audrey isn't stupid just because she dances. I wanted to play on that because it would give her more depth, but she actually notices quite a bit about people. Oddly, her and Percy are alot alike! She's sort of bold and loud and everything he isn't so writing for them is always going to be fun for me. :3
I'm American! Forgive me and my horrid Southern American ways! I might go through and fix those.*sobs*
Hahha. Yes! Percy/Audrey forever! They're very fun to write for and I liked that you enjoyed them. Hopefully, you would't mind reading on! It would make me so very happy. :3
Their arguments in future chapters ARE hilarious.
Hahahah, nah, no long review! But this was great and I really loved it!
Thanks again!
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Okay, you had me at Percy Weasley/Stripper. I can't wait to read, so here we go!

I'm really intrigued by the idea of Percy going to a strip club; a Muggle strip club no less. It's interesting that he's sitting in the front, but the fact that he looks so dead to the world says a lot about his decision to be there. This is really witty and a bit sad, too--I loved the line about the heater smearing her makeup, but the men not noticing her face anyway.

One thing that I do notice is a lot of run-on sentences. You could break them up into multiple sentences, or even add in some punctuation to make it easier to read. For example, this: "It had been odd but she’d thought he was a bit cuter before she’d flicked her gaze over his face, noticing the glasses on the bridge of his nose and she’d squinted a bit as he’d briefly looked around to catch their color" could be shortened to something like this: "It was odd, but she’d thought he was a bit cuter before she’d flicked her gaze over his face. Then she noticed the glasses on the bridge of his nose, and as he looked around she’d squinted a bit to catch their color." Of course, you're obviously a talented writer and don't have to use that sentence xD It's just an example.

Oh my gosh, how funny that Lee and George took him out!! It all makes so much sense now--why he's even there in the first place. I like that she singles him out because he's the only one who seems to not be eating her alive with his eyes. Interesting, too, that you mention her relationship with her father. It's so realistic and completely explains why she would choose a job that seeks attention from men (of course that's not her only reason; you said she wanted to be an artist, but you know what I mean).

I laughed at Audrey telling Percy that she wasn't going to take his virginity--and when George said that he could look, because she had clothes on xD Poor guy! Everyone teases him, eh?

WHOAAA. what? Percy, Jesus Christ. Why are you sexually harassing this girl? Touching her without asking? I feel like he went way to far there. Like, way too far. I feel like he was really mean to her too... I know she's a little insecure about herself, but I think he was verging on emotionally abusive with talking about her body and such. Really intense.

I do like that she took him to a seedy burger restaurant though. It was interesting to see Percy suck in another world like that. He seemed really uncomfortable! And I wonder why all the darkness and secrecy? Is she going to see him again?

All in all, nice job :3

Author's Response: HellO!

Thank you for your review, I didn't expect you to be able to get to it soon. But thanks for choosing this story, I didn't think that alot of people would really go for this idea. And yet, I'm shocked whenever I get a review and you've made me so very pleased! :3
Have some candy.
Ooh, I see that that sentence needs to go away! Argh. I had edited this chapter on my computer but haven't uploaded it because I've been so busy but I see what you mean with it. :p
I've got tons of run ons and such and that's a problem I try to fix more now.
Yeah, Lee and George taking him there makes you want to burst out laughing. They're vey annoying so of course Percy wouldn't want to be there in first place! He was sort of bullied into it, to be honest. Hahahahhaa.
You know, I don't think that just because people don't talk about it that alot of girls don't have these sort of issues. With her singling out Percy, who didn't look at her like a piece of meat to her job, Audrey's a pretty interesting character I think. Some people don't like that idea but I've gone with it and have just let her tell me what she wants. :p
She's mean to me. Hahahha.
YES. Everyone teases Percy! Audrey actually doesn't STOP making fun of him and well, George. He's GEORGE. He's annoying anyway so picking on Percy is just normal. HAHAHA.
AH! This is the fourth or so comment about Percy's attitude regarding Audrey. I might have to go back and change that because I don't want him coming off like such a jerk. :p
In later chapters, I've changed his attitude quite a bit but this first chapter needs some work on my end. :p
Him feeling her up and such was rather rude and he had this nasty attitude. HAHAHA.
Perhaps you should read "That Night" to understand why, its a one-shot of mine that I've got up. It might not make you like him very much but...I'm not going to justify it. Hahah. Erm, I'm awful.
I like putting Percy in places that he isn't comfortable! Its fun and he can't do anything about it. Oh, and he's so much different from canon, which explains all the secrecy and darkness. ;)
She sees him again by accident! :D
Anyhoo, thanks for your review, it means quite a bunch. :D
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Meh... I want more. Hello there Gabbie, I'm so sorry about my lengthy absence but exams and family and stuff kept getting in the way, so please forgive me.

This is story is just incredible. It really is. I just don't know how you do it. It's so intense that when I get to the end of a chapter I just have to sit back for a moment and readjust to reality. You are a truly incredible writer.

So, on to the chapter... I was so pleased you started exactly where you left off the last one. Made me a little flustered to be perfectly honest ;) I can't believe he pulled away though! I was so surprised and even a lit cross at first but it was definitely the right thing to do.

They really do seem to be actually getting to know each other a bit more and I am so excited to see where you take this. It is really incredible. Percy is so fascinating and I think I might be developing a similar sort of obsession with him as Audrey has.

I love how is favourite colour is purple, I have always thought that as well, I don't know why, it just suits him. And in the Wizarding world is comes across as a much more manly colour. His cluelessness about technology is adorable and when he started talking about movie stars, I actually laughed. Bless him. You really capture the confusion a wizard must feel in the muggle world, especially with things that we take for granted.

Anyway, I cannot wait for more from these two and I hope they enjoy their pizza. I’ll be off to another of your stories now but well done on another magnificent chapter,

With Love,
GirlOnTheSidelines x

Author's Response: HELLO!

*Blushes at your compliments* Yay, I'm so happy that you're back. I've missed you and your reviews but I totally understand about things getting in the way and taking up your time. I'll be busy myself in a few months so I might not be able to come online for a long while but until then, here I'll be and there'll always be more stories for you.
So. I am so sorry that I had to cut off Percy and Audrey's moment for you but goodness, did I blush while writing that! I had to really sit back and try to think clearly because my mind was a complete mess. This story is actually one of my harder ones to write and I have to, like you said, re-evaluate everything I wrote. Its intense stuff sometimes. :D
I think I had to have Percy stopping though with what he and Audrey were about to do, he sort of just had to think about what he wanted from her and get to the point of what he needed their relationship to be. Him demanding that out of Audrey was actually a good thing and it puts them in a completely different position. *No pun here, mind you*
Percy is becoming an obsession for me, I absolutely adore him right now. Audrey will be getting more than a few surprises from him if I have my say and I'm working on more chapters as soon and fast as I can! D':
You know, I thought that purple was a rather soft color for Percy, maybe hinting at how sensitive he can be. But it is pretty funny to Audrey, who's completely opposite of him and sort of goes for more bold things. ;)
That little bit about movie stars was too funny and writing about his fascination with technology is really fun for me. And Audrey as well, she's just the greatest and putting an air of confusion for a wizard in the muggle world is too tempting. :D
I will try to be getting more up for these two soon and they will enjoy their pizza. And each other. ;)
I missed you and I hope you enjoy all the updates that I've gotten. Phew!
Much love of course,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Heyy! Its Mya here for your review.

Well this was awesome!! Seriously! What a start!!

Before I get down to business let me fan girl here for a minute

YOU MADE ME LIKE PERCY WEASLEY!! Yah! It actually happened! Like whoa. Where did that come from?? :P

Aww Geogieee! He's soo cuteee. With his sexual innuendos and all :P

Percy... wow! LOL. Im sorry not over that yet..haha

okay now down to business.

I really like Audrey. She seems like a bold character who really just wants to put herself out there. Though her curiosity does pipe my interest as well since well Percy is Percy you know? :P

You said she is going to college so I am assuming that she isn't a witch.

I was a bit confused with Percy's on and off behavior. He was rude which is fine and his comebacks made him seem comfortable w the idea of sex and stuff but for some odd reason he would like blush if she said anything? I just found that a bit confusing making it hard for me to really understand what Percy is like.

Besides that, it was great!! Awesome work here!! I love it! =)

And thank you for asking for a review! You know where to find me for moree =)

Author's Response: Hello!

Fangirl away my dear! Fangirl away. I do all the time when I see anything about George. I just sort of turn into a pool of goo cause he's George and you know, he's awesome! :3
Oh! I made you like Percy?! Yes! Whoo! I own you now and he's such a good character to write for, though he is a bit hard to get right.
Oh, yes, Audrey is really something isn't she? I have no idea why she seems to like Percy as much as she does. Perhaps they have more in common than she might think? Or, it might just be for the fact that Percy's so weird to her, and she must poke nad prod. She's weird like that. :D
Audrey is a Muggle, so no magic in this story from her end. :D
Percy is a walking contradiction. I think it is sort of weird but I did it on purpose because Percy himself is an odd guy, its like he's turning into someone else while still being a bit of a prude. Hahhaaha. Its weird. :p
Perhaps if you kept reading you'll figure out what sort of oddball Percy is, yes?! :D
Thanks for the review, it means alot and made me smile and be all happy and such! :D
Oh, and just for you, Abandon is up again so you can read that if you like! ;) Ben misses you.
I shall re-request!
Much love and thanks again!
Gabbie

 Report Review

Hello again :)

I loved how you started this chapter. You really hit home as to how bad her lot is at the minute and why she's doing what she is and gave some good descriptions. It made me smile when you said she'd been hanging around the burger place hoping to see Percy! Kinda sweet.

Why's that man wearing a dress? This made me laugh! I like how you have all this coming from a muggle's perspective. Percy drunk was quite funny to see - he's a lot more forward when he's drunk! I love what you've done with Percy through this - he's a lot like JK's, still snobby and all, but he's obviously a bit messed up and... darker I think. I think what you've done is right though as he's inevitably still struggling with Fred's death *sob*.

The conversation between them in her apartment was great. Flirty and funny but with Percy's problem there's obviously more to find out. I like how your building it up, it's great to read!

Oh the remote and TV. Hilarious! When she told him it was magic and he laughed at her I was giggling too. Like I said before, this is so fun to read in a Muggle's perspective and I look forward to reading more lines like that!

Just a couple of line I thought could maybe be edited but feel free to ignore me if you disagree:

'He had made her an offer to get her bills paid and she would rather drop dead than have that body over hers. But her attitude would get her into trouble soon if she weren’t careful but her attitude was the only thing she had left, there was no one in her life that would help her or want to make her life better.' The first sentence doesn’t sound right with the 'and' in joining it. I think maybe something like 'but' might work better. The second sentence sounded okay but you just repeated 'but her attitude' twice and I think it could be two sentences. I could see the point you were trying to get across but it took me a couple of reads to get it. Something like: 'He'd made her an offer to get all her bills paid, but she knew she would rather drop dead than have his disgusting body over hers. She also knew that attitude would get her into trouble soon if she wasn't careful but her attitude was the only thing she had left. There was no one in her life that would help her or want to make her life better.' Still perhaps not perfect but I hope you get what I mean :)

'But that thought made her embarrassed to remember that she’d been with Percy Weasley for a while, practically salivating at the thought of having him. And then wanting to know him only to be rejected.' I think you could make this one sentence with a bit of editing, the second sentence seems a bit short. 'But that thought made her embarrassed to remember that she'd been with Percy Weasley for a while, wanting to know him and practically salivating at the thought of having him, only to be rejected.'

'continued on his way, stumbling, "Hey, wait a minute! You’re not well!"' The only thing with this is I thought it was Percy speaking to start with as you were describing him. I think you might just need 'she shouted after him' or something before her line.

'Audrey watched in alarm as he stood up with the book and set his bowl off his lap, where it had nearly sent it flying.' I just got a bit confused with this sentence - maybe there's too many 'it's'?

They are just a couple of tiny edits though. Honestly, this is a great story and really fun to read! I look forward to more!

Lauren :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! I wasn't expecting another review from you for a while. Oh, how lovely!
I think I might continue showing how hard Audrey has it with her life as I continue going, but introducing Percy in her life shows a bit of hope. I really like playing around with that, her days get better and better with him, but her real life starts to take a darker turn. At least, that's what i'm going for anyway, with Percy being the way he is, you can't help but wonder if he's not the darker things going wrong. Or something. :D
Right?!
I dunno.
Anyway, Percy is pretty different. He's alot daker than some of my other characters and its such a strange thing because we're not used to seeing it. It was really hard for me to write but no one ever talks about how he felt about Fred's death. I thought it was slightly unfair so I thought I'd play around with it a bit better, I mean, Fred's gone and it effected everyone. Not just my precious Georgie and the rest.
Anyhoo, I love the scene at her apartment! Hahah. It was incredibly awkward but funny, as their conversations weren't really expected from me, personally. I just sort of went with the flow and it turned out pretty darn good! :D
Thank goodness. D':
And isn't if fun for Audrey to be a Muggle? I have so much fun toying around with that!
Oooh, now that I look at those sentences, they do need to be edited but I think I have already on my drive. Right? I'll most likely update the edited chapter soon but thank goodness you pointed these out to me! I don't edit as much as I should, its sort of a bad habit but this has helped me out alot! Thank you! :D *Hands fat kitten*
Much love and feel free to stop by whenever!
Gabbie

 Report Review

Hello huni!

Wow, you amaze me so much with your fantastic stories! Seriously, how do you come up with these ideas? I thought it was very very orginal idea to have Audrey and Percy meet this way!

I loved the way you started the story: 'They were the eyes of a dead man.' This sentence alone was enough to get me hooked. You continued to keep me interested though with how you then continued. Hmm so Audrey is a muggle! And an exotic dancing one at that. I can't wait to see how her and Percy ultimately get together in this! Percy and a stripper... who'd have thunk it?

Oh George! Sorry I can't help but mention him. I love the way you write him, I find it so funny and cute and loveable. 'Angie is pregnant and mean and will beat me up and not in a good way?' Hilarious!

So... Percy is actually quite dirty. I think I actually gasped a few times at some of his lines as I was like 'Percy Weasley - you do not say stuff like that' but the more I read it, the more I quite enjoyed it A whole new side to Percy. It's definitely a lot more fun that the Percy we see in the books!

I really took to your Audrey, she was fun and very determined. She might not be exactly where she wants right now but she certainly knows where she wants to be heading. I quite liked how she was so captivated by him, although I must admit I had a bit of a hard time believeing she would hang around after he threw so many insults her way (and he called her rude... pot and kettle anyone?) I guess she would have become used to it though with her line of work. She's a stronger person that me, I don't think I could have hung around!

So, these two people are completely different and yet kind of not. In this chapter Audrey came across as very driven and goes for what she wants no matter the concequences. Kind of like Percy Weasley no? I hope that was your intention as I liked how different but similar they were. I think you've set yourself up well and I can't wait to see how these pair finally get together!

A couple of things I noticed that weren't quite British and wasn't sure if you'd want to edit? High school in England is called secondary school or comprehensive school (comp for short) and I think you might have meant university rather than college? You don't have to pay to go to college but you would need to eat etc so you could get away with that one! At 21 though, she would be at university.

This is a great chapter though and I look forward to reading more! I love how all your stories interlink and you have the same ships and things happening in each, you just focus on a different set of characters. As a reader it makes them all the more enjoyable to know I can go and find out more stuff from your other stories!

Oh - and I didn't really notice and excessive use of panties but you certainly weren't shy about the language you used. It fit with the story though!

Great job!
Lauren :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome to my toughest story to write next to A Force of Wills! Whoo! Thanks for coming onto this so quickly, it means alot and you're such a great person! *Blush*
You know, I'd had this ideas for Audrey and Percy for a long time but I didn't think I could actually write it but a favorite reviewer of mine asked me to write a story for her and I thought, "Now's my chance!" and went with it. It has been an interesting ride! :D
Strange how "eyes of a dead man" can get you to wonder what's going on with Percy isn't it? Not quite how you'd picture him! And yep, Audrey's a Muggle and yep, she dances naughtily! I thought that would be such a good contrast to say, her being a witch working in the Ministry. More fun for me and you guys. :3
Bwhah, George! He and Angie are doing pretty good right now! Though at this time, I had made a mistake with Angie's pregnancy because he doesn't find out until later, it still worked out pretty good. Hahahah. He's just so hilarious. :3
Ooh, thanks so much for liking Audrey, she was such a different character to write for. Angelina and Astoria are so different too but she's very hard because she's from the Muggle world and has it alot worse than they do. (Well, maybe not Astoria but...)
I had to make her determined to get what she wanted, she's not the sort to give up, which would probably explain why she would want to hang around Percy. His rudeness was only something she found amusing and she's sort of strange that way, she must poke and prod at things she shouldn't. :D
Oh, yes, Percy is sort of naughty. If you read on, you'll only go, "Where'd this monster come from?!" hahahha. I had so much fun toying with that and Audrey finds it really fascinating when he looks so straight laced and boring. ;)
I'm glad that you caught onto their similarities! Audrey is actually alot like Percy in her own way and I think that might just be the thing, and the fact that she's different for him, that will bring them together. By chapter three or so, you'll just have to wait on them to snog. Hahahahhaa.
ARGH! I'm American, forgive my horrid American ways! I might go back and edit those little things though, I look back on it now and go, "Crap. I'm so wrong!" some other people have pointed that out to me. Why do you guys call high school secondary? Curious. Anyhoo, onward!
Ooh, yes, all my stories sort of go together! I'll actually help you out with following along!
This is Angelina and This is Audrey Tang
Abandon and A Force of Wills
A Force of Wills and Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince
This is Angelina and Memories
etc, etc.
Its fun for you guys to hop onto any one of these and go, "Ha! I heard about that from one of her other stories!" and plus, its just fun for me to write. :3
Hahaha, panties! Its my calling card. You'll know one of my stories by the use of panties throughout the story, hahahaha. Its actually pretty silly. :D
Thanks for this, you're too awesome!
Much love of course,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Gabbie this chapter was brilliant! I loved it! I think this chapter showed how well you write Percy, and what a little firecracker Audrey is! Not that we didn't already know that ;)
And they FINALLY snogged. I've been waiting so long for that! You can tell that they obviously liked each other, so they just needed to get on with it and admit it! So I'm happy that that's happened and that Audrey and Percy are going to get to know each other better!
But I'm still insanely curious as to when he's going to tell her he's a wizard. I mean, he's never had pizza and barely knows what a movie is. She's going to figure it out sooner or later if he doesn't just tell her! Haha. But hopefully he will tell her, and it will be soon!
This chapter was fabulous, and I can't wait to see what happens next! And your next update is my lovely Blaise! Yay! Haha. TFD is next for me, and then back to LMT! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back from a rather long break! I hadn't updated this chapter in a while and alot of people hopped on it last night and it was like one in the morning. Hahahah.
Ooh, I had so much fun writing Percy and Audrey in this chapter. Their attraction to one another is really spiraling out of control and the connection they want with someone just pushes them closer together. :3
They almost did alot of things in that alley, didn't they?! Aside from snogging, that is. Hehehehe. Cause I'm naughty like that.
I love that Percy and Audrey are going to get to know each other better too, their relationship has the potential to turn into something more. Ah. Well, I have another chapter to get posted and the chapter after THAT will finally be the one where Percy reveals his true colors. It won't be pretty. >:D
Audrey has to figure it out sooner or later but she's not quite sure what he might be. I think the guessing of it is more fun than the actual thing though. Hahaha.
I'll be back to this after updating for my other stuff. Got Albus and Abandon to post and I've got to actually type the next chapter of "Memories".eventually. Hahaha.
But yes, you'll get to see your precious Blaise soon! Mwhahahhaa. That chapter is going to make you hate me a little, I just know it. :D
Whoo! TFD? AND LMT? Yes!
Thanks for the review, you're a doll!
Much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review

Hi, This is the first story I read by you and I must say it compelled me to leave a review which is something I've hardly ever done on this site. I adore the way you've characterized Audrey (very original) while keeping Percy's character canon compliant. I like how you play around with his quirks and make even them sexy in Audrey's eyes. I have to say I'm always looking for well-written fics on the less popular characters like Percy and it seems like your story is bound to be that. The chemistry between them is sizzling which is one reason why I and other readers love this story and by chemistry I mean they way they complement each other, the way they make each other laugh and the way they want each other. I really hope you'll complete this story. I'd love to see it get to the stage where he introduces her to the family and all their various reactions to her. Will he tell them the truth about how he met her or won't he? How would George or Lee react? I'm just dying with curiousity. So yeah, I'll be with u following this story all the way. I do hope you'll complete it. And now I'm off to read some other story by you. Thanks for a great read!

P.S. Sometimes there are still very minor mistakes regarding commas and punctuation and what not. Maybe if u could get a Beta reader, they could iron those out for you and make the flow of the language even smoother. However,on second thoughts, I'm so impatient for this story to continue that I'd rather not wait. :P

Author's Response: Hello!

We've never spoken before my dear so its very nice to meet you and thank you so much for this lovely review! D': I'd hug you but I can't teleport just yet so have a virtual fat kitten instead. :D
I really wasn't sure that anyone was really reading this story, so this really stunned me! I thought that it was rather unpopular but I'm so surprised that you like this and that other people apparently do as well. D':
I'm just so flattered, I don't even know what to say without blushing! >_<
When I first started writing this story, I wanted to make Audrey as different from Percy as say, night and day. But keeping Percy canon is actually really hard when I've already tweake his character so much. I thought that I might have made a mistake with him but I'm glad that he's still likeable.
Thank goodness.
Oh, I had to play around with his weird quirks! Audrey's a Muggle so she finds all that he does a little bizarre but as for making him sexy, well...I wasn't sure if that would come across very good. I mean, its Percy! Percy, who, we all know is not exactly the most alluring of the Weasley men (Like, say Bill. :3) but I wanted to give him another tweak. So yes, he's kind of sexy in his own way and I think that having him so buttoned down is really alluring for Audrey. She's sort of a freak like that. Hahahah.
I'm trying my hardest to get this thing done, I promise! D': I have three other WIP's to get done but since this is a short story, I'm hoping I'll get it done rather quickly. :D Just for you and the other fans! :D
I've got a slight idea on how he might introduce Audrey to his family and its pretty hialrious/awkward. But I think he'll be happy about it, I dunno and Lee and George? Oh, the teasing...hehehehe.
Thanks so much for reading! Please enjoy some of my other work if you like!
OH...the mistakes. I had rushed with this chapter so much and I intend on going back and editing but I really want to get the next chapter up. :D I'm just as impatient as you all.
Hahah.
Thanks again and much love,
Gabbie

 Report Review