Reading Reviews for Shenanigans and Hi-Jinks
61 Reviews Found

Review #1, by cherry_pop94 Back to the Forest

11th November 2015:
Woah! This was a great chapter!

Does the cousin thing have to do with the fact that Victoire is part veela? I think you're exploring a really cool part of the wizarding world here. That maybe magical creatures are created somehow and that there's some evolution there as well.

The way you describe banshees is absolutely chilling. They're really fascinating creatures I think, but very difficult to write about too, I'm sure. You've done a good job of conveying of creepy the banshee is, but at the same time, I'm not afraid of her.

I can't wait for the next chapter!


Author's Response: Aww, thank you! *hug* Yes, it does have to do with Victoire being part veela - you'll see in the next chapter that Fred does not emerge quite as unscathed from the banshee's touch.

In the longer term, this is actually going to play out as a fairly significant plot point in two other related stories set after Victoire leaves Hogwarts, so I'm really glad it came off well! I was so nervous about it, but it's been so much fun to brainstorm and map out.

Thank you! ♥

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Review #2, by cherry_pop94 Fruitless Research

11th November 2015:
Hello Branwen! I'm here for Bvb!

It's been a while since I've read a chapter of this, but it's still fantastic and I really need to catch up! I'm so curious to know what the comb's all about and you've left this chapter on such a cliffhanger, I'll probably read on after leaving this review.

Anyway, this was a fun little chapter. Juliet and Fred are still annoying/cute, Victoire's morbidly curious and just such a great character, and I'm learning more about your Hogwarts headcanons! I totally agree, by the way, there has to be more than one potions dungeon and more than one potions master for the school to run...

Anyway, I'm so excited to read on now!


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that Juliet and Fred are coming off as fairly equal parts annoying and cute, because that's exactly what I'm going for - young love is nice for the people in it, but sometimes a little melodramatic and often nauseating for everyone else. :P

Thank you so much!

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Review #3, by Aphoride Fruitless Research

8th November 2015:
Hey Branwen! :) Dropping by on this for BvB - I just had to stop back on this when I spotted you in it because I've missed this story, even though time to read and review has been short, so I'm taking this chance now ;)

So you know how much I love this story, but I think it says so much about how good you are as an author that even a chapter like this, where relatively (comparatively!) little happens in terms of plot and excitement, it still fills it out and I still love reading it. It's such a skill, to be able to make anything so interesting and engaging.

Also, though on the same lines, I love the characterisation you get through in this, and how it all develops - I love how Juliet is so easily excitable, and how we see more of Victoire's relationships with her friends and how they work. It's a lovely change from so much focus on Fred, and it really fills the story out so beautifully :) Plus, they're just such great characters - I love the differences in them all and how they're all so real - I know I've said this before, but it's true and it's something I always love :D

I'm so so curious with what's going on with the comb - the lack of information about it is seriously creepy, and makes the whole thing more creepy, you know, because there's just nothing... I'm so curious to know what she's going to do about it - if she is going to ask Goldstein and if she does what he's going to do/say about it. He doesn't seem like the type to just hand it over, without getting curious himself :P

I really, really, really want to read ahead - so you may see me back in a minute because I can't wait :P

This is an amazing story, as always! :D

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey, Laura! Thank you so much - I know that this was a little bit of an action-lite chapter, and I'm glad it came across well regardless. Some of this is dealt with in the next chapter, but I don't think she's going to be able to avoid asking Goldstein forever, because there's not a lot written about it. (And, of course, it's much more amusing to write about than a book entry.) Thank you so much for your review! ♥

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Review #4, by Veritaserum27 Arrival at Hogwarts

14th October 2015:
Hello Branwen,

I'm here for the next chapter of our swap. And this can also count for the BvB review fest :)

I love the idea that Victoire wants to be an animagus. I take it that it's something that they don't allow students to attempt until they've achieved their N.E.W.T.s? I hope she goes through with it. I've never read a story about how someone learns to be an animagus!

I also liked the scene where Professor Goldstein is discussing Victoire's schedule with her. I'm very intrigued by these new classes at Howarts. I want to take them!!

This was the only part of the story that confused me.
“I thought you said you’d told our parents.”

“I lied.”

I went back and re-read the entire chapter twice and I couldn't find where Goldstein said that he'd told Victoire's and Fred's parents. The only reference to their parents is when the professors say they hadn't told them yet and when he was trying to decide exactly what to say to them.

And yay! Victoire is a Ravenclaw ('claws unite!) I never thought about that before, but it makes perfect sense. I always pictured Fleur as a very clever witch - so it makes sense that all her kids would be in Ravenclaw house. And a Ravenclaw troublemaker just sounds so much fun to read about.

I felt bad for the last part - pretty much everything Victoire predicted about Juliet and the other girls talking about Fred came true. And I don't think it's going to end there - but I really like that deep beneath her prank-pulling, she's got a heart of gold.

I can't wait to see what Victoire and Freddy come up with next!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Yep, exactly - they may allow it toward the end of your seventh year if you're very, very good, but that's about it, and you need to be very closely supervised by a teacher, which Victoire of course wants to avoid. (And if Goldstein knew what she turned into, it would make it a lot less useful for troublemaking. ;))

Neville actually mentioned the bit about their parents in the last chapter - he said that neither he and Goldstein nor their parents had been informed that they'd be missing the Hogwarts Express. I can totally see what you mean, though - it's a little oblique. When I get the chance, I'll go back and see about making it a bit clearer.

I'm so happy you like Victoire being in Ravenclaw! I love my Gryffie Weasleys/Potters, but I do feel like a lot of them would end up elsewhere. Most of them, of course, have a penchant for trouble regardless, though. :P

Thank you so much for the review! ♥

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Review #5, by Veritaserum27 Meeting the Train

13th October 2015:
Hello, hello!

I'm here for our review swap. Ooo! And I get to count this for BvB review fest. Woot!

I realized I'd already reviewed the first chapter of this, so I read that as a refresher and here I am! Haha - this chapter was great and I really loved the development of the two main characters, as well as the hint of a possible romance between Teddy and Victoire. I'm a huge canon shipper and I LOVE it when an author puts their own spin on the characters, but still stays true to what we know from JKR. I won't be upset if things turn out differently, but it was nice to see there's a possibility here. I also really like that Victoire seems a bit clueless when it comes to how Teddy feels about her - or acts around her. Even Freddie noticed! It's a refreshing characterization for her overall, and she's really growing on me.

I'm excited to see where Roxie gets sorted because she does have a flair for the dramatic and I think it would add a bit of excitement to the Weasley-Potter clan for the first Slytherin sorting in the next gen characters.

Oh! And we get to meet their best friends in this chapter. I love that they can see right through the Weasley cousins' antics. I have a feeling that the four of them can be rather dangerous together.

What's this?! I totally thought they were in the clear! I wonder where their Heads of Houses are taking them...

♥ Beth

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Review #6, by Penelope Inkwell Fruitless Research

21st August 2015:
Thank heaven she was just straightforward about it! And Juliet was perfectly reasonable. The angst that can be avoided when people are just honest and no one gets huffy!

Fred and Victoire's relationship is so cute. I've never seen a fic before in which he was old enough to be one of her close friends at Hogwarts, but it could happen, and here I like it.

Now I've just got to know what he's found out!, not that it's the most important thing, but erm...will we get to see Teddy again? Soon-ish? I'm dying to see more of his and Victoire's interactions!


“Why don’t you go tell talk to them about it?”
--we've got both "tell" and "talk to" right here, and the sentence only needs one of them.

I've enjoyed this fic, and I'm glad I got to stop by and read it. Congrats again on your Dobby pre-nom!


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Review #7, by Penelope Inkwell An Encounter in the Forest

21st August 2015:
Oh, okay, well that's freaky.

I like the idea of Victoire being a magical creatures enthusiast who sneaks into the Forbidden Forest to see them. And that bit about the car was a really fun detail--it made me smile.

*Br* the way you described that banshee, though. SO creepy. Why did you touch the comb, Victoire?! This is exactly the kind of mistake she'd never have made if her parents had the good sense to take her to Knockturn Alley. It's like a Scared Straight tactic--you learn to never touch anything that looks like it might be a Dark and powerful object. Mystical silver comb, lying on the ground, shining on the moonless night in the Forbidden Forest?! I never thought I'd say this, but listen to Fred!!!


(though they’d been unable to salvage its eggs, much to Fred’s dismay).
--"salvage" doesn't seem like quite the right word here. It implies that the Ashwinder they'd found was dead or something. Salvage is when, like, you're saving something that otherwise will be lost/trash, which doesn't seem to be the case here. Was Fred wanting to catch a glimpse of the eggs? Steal them and sell them on the black market? I'd suggest a word, normally, but here I can't tell exactly what he wanted.

“Vic!” Fred burst into the small clearing, breathing hard. “What the hell?”
--this struck me as a bit odd, because it seemed like he was right with her until this moment. Maybe you could have her run off towards the comb and leave him behind? That would explain why he bursts in after her in such a huff.

Another really enjoyable chapter! I'm liking this fic a lot.


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Review #8, by Penelope Inkwell Arrival at Hogwarts

21st August 2015:
I really liked Professor Goldstein--Anthony Goldstein, from the D.A., I'm guessing? I like that you made it someone who was a minor character in the books. It makes sense that he'd become an Auror, since they got to go straight into the department after fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts. Plus, the way you write him is just so...professorial. He reminds me a bit of McGonagall in that he's kind of stern, but you like him anyway, but he's still clearly his own character. Given the hijinks that it sounds like she's prone to getting into, Victoire is probably lucky he's watching out for her, even if he has probably given her a few detentions.

I also love that you have Victoire, a Ravenclaw, still getting involved in pranks and such. It's not just the Gryffindors! Good for her.

Oh no. That's a definite downside to living in a room full of girls. I pity her, I really do. Girl does need to invest in a good set of earplugs. I'm shocked she's lasted this long without them.


and that she’d sense some real intensity
--"sense" should probably be "sensed"

"She got really red and started giggling, and then he kissed her cheek and followed Holly upstairs.”
--Who is Holly? She just kinda came out of nowhere. At first I thought it was implying that he was going with Holly up to the dormitories to, like, snog or whatever, but that doesn't make sense because he just asked Juliet out.

Another good chapter! I'm enjoying this fic so far.


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Review #9, by Penelope Inkwell Meeting the Train

21st August 2015:
Bahaha! Smelling her hair. Oh gosh.

So Fred knows, but Victoire didn't. How long has Teddy liked her? Does everyone know.

Man, they really do have good friends, dragging their trunks of the train for them. Hold on to those two. They're gems. (Seriously, that's not a carry-on bag. That's a giant trunk, and they've got their own to haul up to the castle, as well. I'm pretty sure that's the measure of true friendship).

Man, they almost got away with it, too! So close.


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Review #10, by Penelope Inkwell Missing the Train

21st August 2015:
Hey! I'm here checking out the Dobby pre-noms (congratulations, by the way), and so I wanted to stop by and read this one. Victoire and Fred are really cute! And Teddy! I haven't read enough Teddy/Victoire lately, so I'm looking forward to some of that :D

This chapter clips along quite nicely. There's plenty of detail to picture the scenes, and a good balance of dialogue and action.

Really though, who does set their clock 5 minutes slow? *face palms*

However, if it serves as an excuse to visit Teddy, I'm for it!

Awww! Does Teddy have a crush? Maybe? *waggles eyebrowa*

CC: So, as a rule, I always try to give CC, but I just want to applaud you, because I did not notice a single spelling or mechanical error here, and that is phenomenal!

"but she also spied several of him with his friends, and, to her surprise, a few number of her."
--"a few number of her" doesn't sound quite right. Maybe: "a few of her", or "a few pictures of her," might sound better?

“Well, it won’t be food off the trolley, but it probably won’t be terrible, either. Are either of you thirsty?”
--This is well into the realm of the mega nitpicky, but you have so few other errors that that's the realm we're in. ;) This is just a flow thing, but since just asked, "Are either of you hungry?", it's a bit repetitive to ask about drinks in the same way. It might be more natural if he just said, "Thirsty?"

Glad I stopped by. And now I'd like to read on a bit!


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Review #11, by MuggleMaybe Fruitless Research

20th August 2015:
Hi Beezie!

I found your story on the Dobbys Rec/Review thread.

What a fun story! I love your characterizations of Vic and Fed - especially Vic! I think she is frequently type cast, and I love that your rendition is feistier. Shenanigans and Hi-Jinks indeed!

The new plot line with the comb is quite intriguing. I never really thought about students going out in the Forest just for something to do. In the original series, it was usually by force or out of desperation that they went to the forest, not just for fun. But I find it very believable that students would do this, and be a bit reckless about it.

What a funny, entertaining, a charismatic story!
Keep up the good work!

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Review #12, by RavenclawFTW Fruitless Research

16th August 2015:
Heya Branwen! Here for the swap and BvB!

So, I always love reading this story and your interpretations of Fred and Victoire. I don't want to talk too much about everything I always seem to focus on when I review this story, but I just love this Victoire so much.

Something I loved in this chapter was how Fred joined Victoire even though he didn't approve of her taking the comb in the first place. In fic, I see characters turning their backs on their friends because they don't agree with their decisions, but I love how close Vic/Fred are and how he helps her despite his misgivings. That said, I was surprised that Fred seemed so casual about the whole affair. He ribbed Victoire about it, sure, but given the strong emotional/gut response he had to the comb in the previous chapter, I was surprised he seemed so calm and collected about it this chapter, more curious than anything. I'd've expected him to continue to voice his apprehension about it.

I'm also slightly concerned about Juliet's character at this point in the story. Victoire seems to consistently say that Juliet is a nice girl beneath the hysterical reactions to Fred/her relationship, but it's hard to take that at face value when I don't feel like I've really seen her doing anything besides freak out about Fred. I'm a little confused about what he sees in her besides that she really likes him/is pretty. In this chapter, she definitely redeems herself slightly by her quick understanding of Victoire's request, but it's hard for me to really understand much about her or her relationship with Fred.

I really enjoyed the little insight into Carolyn/Wendy's relationship in this chapter and to see that kind of mature relationship. I also liked that Victoire stayed with them to talk so long-- so often in fic I feel like every couple is just totally unbearable to be around, but that's not true at all! So I liked seeing Victoire getting along so nicely with Wendy.

Then I also really enjoyed the research about the comb-- they didn't find anything right away, which adds to the suspense, but also seems really believable. I'm really excited to learn what Fred found out about it!

Hope you update soon! :)


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Review #13, by Aphoride An Encounter in the Forest

16th August 2015:
Hey there, Branwen! :D Dropping by for our swap for BvB fest! :) I just had to come back to this - I wasn't sure I'd reviewed this one or not, so I'm glad (? I think, haha) that I hadn't - though there was another chapter, so even if I had, it would have been fine ;)

Anyway, enough rambling! :P You know I love this fic, and Vic and Fred - and I was so so excited to see them get going with the whole drama/adventure side of things - not that, you know, missing the train and all wasn't adventure, but this is starting to tie in with the summary, which I love so much, and I'm so so excited to see where you go from here with this and all! :)

I love the way Vic and Fred are so casual about popping into the Forbidden Forest - and even how Micah is usually pretty fine with it, but only after the beginning of the year and the threat of trouble dies down (you know, it's little things like that which make your characterisation so full and so wonderful - the sheer level of detail in each of your characters is amazing!) - despite it being totally against the rules and really pretty dangerous. It's such a great side to them both, and I love how Vic is even more relaxed about it than Fred is, so calm and collected even in high-pressure situations. It's a really interesting trait for her to have, but a really useful one too - and one which isn't often seen in fic, strangely enough.

Oh my gosh. That scene in the forest was so... creepy. Like strangely unearthly, and just creepy... but there was this beautiful layer of human interaction in it, between Vic and the banshee which was so lovely - it gave it all this kind of almost-human quality to it, which sort of made it even more creepy, if that makes sense :P I loved the way it happened almost so innocuously, but there was still that sense of danger, that things weren't quite right, and how the comb ended up still with her. Again, it's so creepy, and so suspenseful because why is it there, and how did it get back into her pocket (which I think the answer to is 'magic' :P), and what does it mean - is it really a portent of death, like Fred thinks, or is Vic right and it's not quite as serious as all that? (Though I'm inclined to believe Fred, tbh :P) I really, really wanna read the next chapter and find out (shame I have to cook dinner :P) - you've made me so curious! :)

As always, your writing is so lovely in this - you manage everything in this story so well: the bits of humour, the irritation and the guilt Vic feels in previous chapters, to the darker, more suspenseful bits of this chapter - it's a real skill, because they're so hard to weave into the same thing, and do equally as well, but you manage it so effortlessly I'm almost jealous ;) Plus your description in this, the comb and the light coming off it, the banshee herself, were so so gorgeous, too - I could picture it so easily, you know?

This is such a brilliant story - I know I've told you that before, but it's worth repeating, I think! ;) I'm so so looking forward to getting a chance to read the next chapter and seeing what - if anything - happens with the comb! :D

Aph xx

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Review #14, by DracoFerret11 Fruitless Research

15th August 2015:
Hi Branwen! Me again, here to review for the BvB, as well as my love of this story! So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: I only noticed one stand-out error. Towards the end you have, "Why don't you go tell talk to them about it?" where you'll need to choose between "tell them" and "talk to them." :)

Plot: Another lovely chapter of this story! I feel like I've gotten really bad about including constructive criticism, since I'm so fond of your writing style and story. I literally never see things that I want to ask you to improve on! It's awful. I'm sorry I'm so useless. But anyhow! This was another great chapter. I like that you've drawn out the mystery of the comb. I'm so interested to see what it is and what's going to happen, but I like that you didn't just give us that information right away. The search will make it so much better when we finally find out!

Characterization: As always, your Victoire is fabulous. I never thought I would read a Next Gen story that I liked this much at ALL, let alone one that featured Vic as the main character. For some reason I always thought people wrote her as stuck up or rude, but you've taken such an original route in constructing her as a character, and I love that. I think she's unique and interesting to read, and I love the positive relationships she has with other women. It's so subtle (way better than I can do), but so great. You really get her interactions down pat when it comes to how she talks to each of her friends, as well as Fred. I'm really excited to read on.

Emotions: I guess if I had any CC for this chapter, it would be that neither Fred nor Vic seem all that upset about what the comb could mean. I get some of their curiosity coming through, but I don't seem much distress. I feel like I'd be doing everything to get rid of the thing, just in case. Or at least worrying that something awful was going to happen. So I wonder just why neither of them seems particularly worried.

Overall, this was a great chapter. I really enjoy reading this story, and I think you're doing your characters real justice. Great job, as always, and I'll read on when you write more.

--Emily/DarkRose || August BvB, Team Bronze

P.S. - This is going in my Favorites now. :)

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Review #15, by magnifique11 Fruitless Research

15th August 2015:
Oh my gosh, I've never read a fic with Vic & Fred being bffs, but I love it! I need more fics like this so I can read all of them. Seriously though, I think your Vic is really unique and fun to read - if also anxiety-inducing because of that comb! I want to know how/why she has it, and I love banshees so I'm excited to see how you'll bring more of that in to the story.

I also wanted to add that I love your headcanons, especially the one about the professors and how class scheduling works because it makes so much sesne, especially considering how many students Hogwarts has. I may have to adopt some of the same ideas, (though of course I would never copy them - that's never okay).

I'm really looking forward to reading more and this is definitely a new favorite! :)


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Review #16, by navyfail Missing the Train

14th August 2015:
Hey, Branwen! Here for the BvB fest as well as returning some of the kind reviews you left for me during last month's battle.

I've always imagined Victoire and Fred having an age difference between them since I like to think that Fred and James are best friends, but you write there friendship well. They seem to be able to read each other's minds at times and are both really carefree. If I missed the the train, I would be freaking out yet they both stay really calm and collected. They even thought of going to Teddy's. I have to say flooing to their uncle's shop sounds a lot faster than going on the Hogwarts Express and not to mention that they get to see a dark creature exhibit.

I like the hint of Teddy/Victoire you put in here with the photos. I mean he has three of her! That's so cute even though she doesn't get why. Also, I'm surprised that she didn't stare when Teddy opened the door shirtless. Maybe she's just that used to him? And Teddy even proposed being roommates with her after Hogwarts! (Though I think he was teasing for the most part but I'll still take it.) I'm going to take a guess that Fred already knows that Teddy likes her. He seems perceptive like that.

I really like where you are going with this story! It seems very lighthearted but interesting and humorous. And the fact that you've been able to create your own world of characters and stick to them has always been amazing to me! I enjoyed reading this! Great work!


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Review #17, by UnluckyStar57 Missing the Train

13th August 2015:
Hi Branwen! Here for our swap and the BvB Review Fest! :D

Okay, so this is SO FUN! I totally am in love with Fred II right now, and all of the different possible characterizations that he might have, and so I LOVE the way you've written him here. He might have a good relationship with James in this story, but I can't tell yet because he's total BFFs with Victoire (or seems to be). At the very least, putting Fred and Vic together as partners in crime is such a cool and different idea, and I can't wait to see what other fun shenanigans they'll get up to at Hogwarts!

And I love the way you opened this, too. Like, missing the train was such a natural occurrence that they were already planning on telling lies about it. And then they saw their parents and some artful dodging ensued. Hah, I still laugh about how Fred was so self-assured, like "oh yeah, we'll be on that train," oh no, you won't, Fred. (And while I'm looking at her, that CI is SO PRETTY.)

Aaahhh, I have a feeling that this fic is not going to be all about Tedoire, but I love the *wink wink nudge nudge* that you've got in this chapter towards the ship. Aww, it's so cute that Teddy has a total of three pictures featuring Vic, and then the very nice blushy feelings that Vic gets when he says he loves her awww... I'm sure Fred feels pretty left out of this, but that's probably for the best. :P

The idea of a magical menagerie is really cool, like, an advanced petting zoo that isn't for the faint of heart. Vic, Ted, and Fred, not being faint-hearted, will have a really good time there!

(But oh, what kind of wrath will they face from their parents?)

"Rox won't snitch," Fred says. Oddly, I get the feeling that Rox is going to snitch. What can go wrong, must go wrong, right?

I love this opening chapter, and I hope to continue on and read more soon! I know you already have a lot of reviews on this chapter, but I always find it worthwhile to review things in order. :)


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Review #18, by Unicorn_Charm Missing the Train

12th August 2015:
Hey there! Here with your review!! :)

Ooh I think I found a new story I'm going to be addicted to! XD

The opening of this chapter really was funny. I laughed out loud a few times. :)

Fred had given her an easy smile and said, “Oh, don’t worry. We’re not going to miss the train.”

They missed the train.

This was perfection!

I don't think I've seen many fics where Victoire and Fred are the same age, but I really, really like the dynamic you've written between them. I cannot wait to read more of them. They seem more like siblings than cousins, to be honest. I love it.

Oh Teddy ♥ I am so in love with Teddy Lupin and I'm already loving your version of him. He seems so sweet and so cool. Like someone that I would need to be friends with (and probably would have a bit of a crush on). And he can cook! Score! Are he and Vic already together? Or does she just kind of like him at this point? I'm just going to have to keep going and find out. :p

I love that they missed the train. And I love that Fred set his watch slow. Who does that? Haha But they're right, spending the day hanging it in Hogsmeade with Teddy does seem more fun than riding the train to school.

I love this already! I'm so glad that you responded to my status and I had a chance to find this story. I will without a doubt be back to read on. This is a great start to what I'm sure is going to be a wonderful story! Thanks so much for sharing!! ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #19, by Frankie05 Missing the Train

12th August 2015:
Hello :)

I like this. I've never read a teddy/Victoire before but that's because I haven't really gotten into Next Gen.

I have so many questions- why were they late? Why were they not with their families? What is going through Teddy's head? I'm sure this will All be answered in due time.

The beginning seemed a little jumpy but it quickly smoothed out once they were on their way to Teddy's. I liked how family oriented Teddy is, and his family is his grandmother and the Wotter clan no doubt. But Victoire is surprised to see photos of herself there and she gets the woopy feeling when she sees it. I love the foreshadowing. Especially when she said "'make me breakfast every morning" and he said "come live with me". I've noticed most people lack the insight of foreshadowing but you've nailed it.

One of things I had a problem with was the date. No matter what day of the week it was, the Hogwarts express always left on the 1st. I'm curious why you changed that?

All in all- it's a good start to the story. I definitely plan to continue reading this so that I can follow along and learn more.


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Review #20, by DracoFerret11 An Encounter in the Forest

11th August 2015:
Hi Branwen! This is DarkRose from the forums, here to review for you for the BvB! (Also, of course, to review because I love this story.) So, let's go over things:

Plot: AHHH! Okay, let's talk about the calm parts before I get all spazzy. First off, good job with the characterization of Vic, Fred, and Micah at the beginning. I thought Micah's hesitation was really good. (Also, did I catch that his parents are lesbians? -- as much of a deterrent that his mothers clearly wished they were -- If so, lovely! If not, you wrote "mothers," plural. ;) ) Now, on to the craziness! OH MY GOSH! I was so nervous when they were creeping around the forest. And the banshee! Such fantastic descriptions. I could practically see her. She was so ridiculously eerie. Great job! As for how Vic got the comb back...I don't know! Maybe the banshee just teleported it back in there, I suppose. But what does it mean?! No one is going to die, right? I feel like so many people died while Harry was at school; Hogwarts doesn't need that crap a whole generation later! AHH!

Characterization: Again, great characterization. I was in Vic's boat -- a little disappointed that Fred was being such a spoil sport. But I also know I would totally have been him in that situation. Or, moreover, I would have bolted out of there and abandoned my cousin. But I think you wrote Vic really well. She's such an awesome character. I love her.

Emotions: So creepy. So totally creepy. And you captured that so well. You didn't shirk away from the weirdness of the Dark Forest or their situation, which I like. And I bought Vic's curiosity at the banshee, rather than fear. I think you earned that reaction from what you've written before now. So...good job!

Overall, this was such a crazy awesome chapter. I can't wait to read more. You're making me a fan of Next Gen! No! ;) Lovely writing, as always.

--Emily || August BvB, Team Bronze

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Review #21, by manno_malfoy Arrival at Hogwarts

8th August 2015:
Hello! I'm still around for the BvB!

I just love how you're slowly letting us into this whole world you have in your head for these characters. There are minor characters all over the chapter, which makes things a lot more realistic. And it's great how you've included Seamus somehow. I don't know why you didn't tell us who the woman that is his second is, but seeing how well-constructed this story has been so far, I'm going to guess it's intentional?

I didn't know what I was expecting for your Victoire post-Hogwarts, but working with magical creatures perfectly suits the Victoire you've been introducing us to the past few chapters. And it's cool that you've mentioned that Dominique is interested in dragons as well. It's nice to know that in your world, Charlie isn't completely out of the picture.

Another great thing you've got going with characterisation here is how Victoire is a Ravenclaw but still is careless and gets in trouble. It makes sense that there all sorts of intellectual people, and not all of them are goody-two-shoes book nerds. So I think you're doing a wonderful job with keeping things believable and logical!

I have concerns for Victoire thanks to Fred and Juliet because you've said earlier that Fred is attractive and everybody likes him. And if they're doing this to her, thinking she has any hand in the matter, when things are just starting out and are all dandy, what will they do to her when/if Fred messes up?

I don't know if this counts as a review since I'm just mostly gushing about your characters and how I'm starting to care about them. But whatever, I'm enjoying it and I've got other chapters to get to! :D


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Review #22, by manno_malfoy Meeting the Train

8th August 2015:
Continuing on for the BvB review fest, but also for all the fun.

This chapter was even more fun because there was more teasing and more uncomfortable situations for Victoire. I'm really starting to like your Fred. He sees through Victoire (as best friends should) and through Roxanne. It seems as though she too is trouble, but in a less obvious way. I'm looking forward to seeing how you'll include her throughout the story because she already seems like a fun character.

It was amusing and realistic to have Fred notice that Teddy likes Victoire. In my experience, the best friend always notices such advances. But the fact that he brought it up really reinforces how close they are and what their friendship is like. I'm wondering how you'll be including Teddy, now that they're at Hogwarts and he isn't, but I guess we'll see.

It was fun getting introduced to their friends Micah and Lexy, especially in a way that also gives us an brief idea as to what they're like.

And yay for a Neville appearance! I hope we'll see more him being all serious and authoritative in the next chapter!

I like how this is such a light read, but with such complex, well-developed characters already. I'll probably spend the rest of the day going through the other chapters.


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Review #23, by manno_malfoy Missing the Train

8th August 2015:
Hey there! I've here for the BvB review fest! And I'm glad I'm finally reading something by you!

I guess Fred is usually troublesome, but Victoire? I don't think I'd come upon another story that portrays her this way. I like the energy they both give off so far and how they get along. I really do like Teddy/Victoire, so I just can't help but wonder if Teddy already realises that he has feelings for her. One can never tell when 'I love you' is being passed around so casually. So I'm eager to see how it'll develop from here. But it's so adorable how he has three pictures of her already.

I felt that this is a great first chapter. It gives us a quick glimpse at the three main characters and gives us just enough information to get a feel for the dynamic between them. I really enjoyed this first chapter and I'm excited to see what comes next.


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Review #24, by CassiePotter Arrival at Hogwarts

7th August 2015:
Hello again! I'm here for another chapter!
This one was just as good as the first two. I love the way you write all your characters! They're all so unique, and even the minor characters are distinct and stand out.
I was afraid that Victoire and Fred's punishment would be much more harsh than what they got! I would think that a detention would seem like nothing to those two.
I really liked Victoire's talk with Goldstein about her career and what classes she's going to take. I liked what you did to change the Committee for the Disposal of Magical Creatures, and thought it was awesome that Seamus was the new head. I want to know who the woman is that works with him, though!
I thought you did a really nice job with Victoire's classes, too. I liked that there were more classes than just the one's we see in the books.
I feel kind of bad for Victoire since Fred asked Juliet out, and I'd think that would be kind of awkward for her, as his cousin. Especially because those girls seem kind of gossipy! Haha.
This was another really well done chapter. I really enjoyed it!
Cassie :)

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Review #25, by CassiePotter Meeting the Train

7th August 2015:
Hello! I'm here for our review swap!
I'm really excited to get back into this story, since I really loved the first chapter! This one followed it up so well.
Victoire and Fred's banter is so much fun to read, and their chemistry is really great. You can tell how close they are. Also, I loved that Fred noticed Teddy sniffing Vic's hair, and said that he probably would have kissed her if they were alone. I thought you did a good job making Teddy's feelings clear to us in the last chapter, so now Victoire's all caught up, too. Haha. I thought it was great that you made Fred the overprotective one, too. I almost always read him as a really silly character, who doesn't do much besides pull pranks, so I loved that he had a side to him that's a little more serious.
Roxanne is sassy! And I agree with Fred, I could see her in Slytherin.
I really liked Micah and Lexy. They seem like really good friends, and I thought it was sweet that they got Fred and Victoire's trunks for them. I can't wait to read more of the four of them together.
Uh oh! Vic and Fred are in trouble!
This was a great chapter!
Cassie :)

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