Reading Reviews for I Haven't Forgotten About You
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by River_Treasure I'm Not Jealous

15th February 2013:
I love the way you write! Please write more!

Author's Response: i will eventually i promise!

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Review #2, by Sandy I'm Not Jealous

30th May 2012:
Put up the next chapter! I like this story too. Lots of funny lines.

Author's Response: i'll put it up soon ;)

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Review #3, by Cassius Alcinder Love Withstands the Distance

7th April 2012:
Review tag!

looks like an interesting start. I enjoy James/Lily stories when they're already together and not bickering and arguing the whole time. It seems like you captured the dynamics of their relationship pretty well.

That's an interesting set up how the Maruaders are all leaving on holiday and leaving Lily behind, although I'm not sure where the whole voldemort factor would come into play here.

Uh oh, looks like David might complicate things. We'll have to see what happens next!

Author's Response: thank you :) I'm trying to keep away from focusing on voldemort for the time being and focus more on the romance portion of the story, but i'm sure he will come into play sooner or later.

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Review #4, by ginerva_molly_weasley Love Withstands the Distance

5th April 2012:
This is a fab piece!

I love reading about Lily and James when they actually like each other because I can never in my mind see them hating each other in the 7th year and so I really like this piece and how lovey dovey and cute they seem together.

It broke my heart though when you introduced the idea of them not being together in the summer :( That's not good they should just go and get married!

A very nice piece!

Author's Response: thank you :) glad you liked it.

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Review #5, by Ravenclaw_Charm Love Withstands the Distance

28th March 2012:
Hahaha, very cute! I'm a total James/Lily shipper, but I still want to see how this turns out! :D Just a few things...

Pace: Watch out for your pace! It's a little too fast. Lily spends about 3 lines in King's Cross. Maybe a little more dialogue or goodbyes or details as fillers?

Grammar: I noticed that there was some grammatical errors when it came to dialogue. Remember, periods when you're starting a new sentence, and commas at the end when the dialogue is at the beginning. (ex: "We can't tell you," Sirius said, "It's guy stuff." -- should be a period, not a comma.) Also, some of your dialogue runs on, when it shouldn't. (ex: "I'm going to miss you so much Lil," he said, looking at me with his puppy dog eyes, "how will I survive a whole summer without you?" -- should be two separate sentences.) Also, watch your tenses! Don't switch tenses!

Characterization: I love Sirius's "We can't tell you. It's guys' stuff." line ;) Fits his character haha. James's devotion to Lily it also clearly seen; little does he know that the brains will turn into the player ;D Lily seems a little desperate and too much in love, but you fixed that when she recognized it in her narration so we can kind of understand where she's coming from.

All in all, a great beginning to what seems like an interesting Marauders' fic ;D I can't wait to read more!!!

Author's Response: thanks for all of the advice :)

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