Reading Reviews for Breathe
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart Breathe

19th March 2015:
Hello there!

I'm here for a review contest that's going on in the forums. The house that wins the contest earns 1 per review donation the HPFF's fundraiser.

So that being said, let's start the review!
First, let me tell you how sorry I am to hear that you had a fire and I hope that everyone survived it. Things can always be replaced, but people can't.

This story was beautiful and I think made better by the rawness, truth be told. I think beta's might've come in and changed a few things, but it would be a mistake. The way it reads now is truly like a mother falling apart at the death of her son. The fragmentation of the thoughts and the order you've put them in makes perfect sense.

Really, spectacular job within this challenge! I was very moved by your words.


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Review #2, by maskedmuggle Breathe

12th July 2014:

:( This was so heartbreaking to read. Fred's death is so difficult for us readers to deal with, let alone his own mother. You really portrayed just how much Molly had lost, and just how difficult it was to cope with all the death after the war period, let alone coping with her own son's death. You wrote this really well in conveying all the anguished and sad emotions. I thought your characterisation of Molly was done perfectly in her struggle to come to terms with everything. I also really liked how this was kind of written in a detached sort of way, with every sentence on its own. It really served to emphasise Molly's isolation and all the loss. Well written :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #3, by teh tarik Breathe

15th July 2013:
Hi there. Post-Hogwarts fics focusing on the death of Fred never fail to make me a bit teary :( And this was from the POV of Molly, who's so incredibly protective of her children, which makes her pain even more difficult to read.

From the clipped lines and sentence fragments and general stream of consciousness style, I had the feeling that Molly was dangerously close to an emotional breakdown, if it hasn't already occurred. You wrote this very convincingly with the abrupt lines and very short paragraphs.

I love the image of GInny's hand in Molly's old one, and how Molly sees the latter as something so young and so fragile for all her youth, and yet she's already fought in a war older than both of them.

This wa an incredibly moving and heartbreaking piece. Well done.


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Review #4, by Burning_Bridges Breathe

12th April 2013:
Hey! Sorry it took me so long to track your story down.

I really like how you used repetition, particularly in "It's another day. Another Portkey trip. Another funeral." I also really liked the lines about Ginny's and Molly's hands in the beginning.

I'm not entirely certain if I'd classify this as stream of conscious, but it definitely comes close to it and remains readable and easy to follow.

I almost feel like you could've put in more descriptions of what's going on either in Molly's head or in the world around her, and have the actions be almost like an afterthought? It might be neat to experiment with, if you ever decide to revisit this piece. Also, I feel like you could do without some of the "I hear" and similar phrases.

This was a really enjoyable read :)

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Review #5, by marinahill Breathe

29th June 2012:
You did so much in the short 500 words allotted. I could really feel Molly's pain at losing her son. I think the stream of consciousness worked really well here, and that's coming from someone who usually doesn't really like that style. It was simple and effective, and both the present tense and short sentences helped to deliver a sharp and powerful impact. I felt so sorry for her, because she shouldn't have to feel this pain but she has to find some way of overcoming it. Her guilt at smiling was the most powerful part of all, I think.

Great job :)


Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much.

I agree with you on the stream of consciousness; it's not normally a style that I like reading or writing. It's just how this piece came out, so I'm glad that you think it worked well.

Thank you so much!

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Review #6, by Maybe Breathe

30th March 2012:
This was so profound. The short sentences brilliantly brought across how broken and fragmented everything is now that Fred's gone. The subtle repetition too, really brought it home and I think you've perfectly captured how Molly would be feeling on the day of Fred's funeral. It's obviously different from the initial shock but she's still in denial.

I don't know what it was, but I really liked the line "We walk slowly. I think we walk slowly." And how she didn't know when she started crying. Really portrays it well.

I always get upset thinking about the loss of Fred and always get a little teary-eyed and you managed to get me into that state again.

This is a wonderful one-shot and the perfect length.


Author's Response: You are so sweet, thank you.

I would think pretty much the same thing is going through everyone's head. There were so many funerals after and during the war. I can't imagine anyone being able to think straight at all.

Thank you!

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