Reading Reviews for The Dark Sonata - A Mystery
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnceasingInAnger A Late Evening Duet

29th March 2012:
Hi, interesting start. The names of your characters are a little weird, kind of on the long side. Maybe you want to shorten them a bit? Unless there's a reason why you called them that. Is the music stuff all some kind of metaphor? I don't think I've ever read a story where the characters all were named after music related things. Is it like a clue for the mystery?

Sometimes your wording is a little flowery, but it kind of sets the atmosphere too. As you write more, you'll probably get a better feel for how to describe things and when you need more words and when you need less.

Regulus is one of my favorite characters, and I'm a sucker for stories where he lives. Also, I don't see all that many mystery stories here, so that cuaght my eye too.

I liked the description of the elephant coughing in the woods.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I'm happy to have so many so soon. The names will be explained later in the story more, but I wanted the reader to know them now but not force them into the chapter anyway. It's a clue for something.

I wanted to set the atmosphere with the words. Maybe it will become more smooth in later chapters when I get the feeling of this story better.

Regulus is my favourite character and I love mysteries so that is why I chose to write this story like this.


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Review #2, by Livi_777 A Late Evening Duet

29th March 2012:
First things first, that was some beautiful metaphor! The recurring ship one was quite fabulous. I'm having an obsession with rhythm at the moment and that was the very incarnation of rhythm, it had a lovely flow! One little point to improve on, you don't have to stick in extra words if they don't sound right in your head, the reader will almost definitely know what you're talking about anyway. For example,
'She was his only harbour in the sea of darkness.'
This is a beautiful line, but you don''t need 'of darkness' at the end. 'She was his only harbour in the sea' is so much better, and you don't have to worry about the reader not knowing that it's a metaphor, because the paragraph it's written in explains everything. Hope you understand that.
I love seeing Regulus married, really original, to thumbs up to you there!
Overall, this is a brilliant start and I think you could do a lot with it, keep it up, keep working and improving and don't lose confidence, it's looking great!

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm over the moon that you liked the story. I was thinking a lot about rhythm when writing the story, so it's great that you noticed.

Thank you for the advice. I will look out for that. Regulus deserves some happiness too. Don't worry I have a lot of confidence, I won't lose it. Thank you.


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Review #3, by LivingFairytale A Late Evening Duet

29th March 2012:
Hiya! That was a lovely first chapter! I really like Regulus as a character, and I think he's a little under-appreciated. So when I saw your status update, I just had to see what kind of story it was.

Your descriptions were lovely, and so was the way you wrote Regulus, even though we know so little about him. I like the fact that he's a married man, never read a Regulus story with him being married. My favourite sentence is: She was his only harbour in the sea of darkness, it was lovely.

I'm also very curious how exactly he survived. I hope you will explain further on. I only had one little question: why can he only visit once a year? (this made me think of pirates of the caribbean, if you know what I mean lol). I mean- I know he's in hiding, but can't he visit more often spread over the year?

Overall I think you did an amazing job, Hope you update soon! Keep it up =)
x Livingfairytale

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I'm thrilled that you liked the story. I have also not seen him married before, I think, but I think it could have happened. The things you wonder about will be explained later. Thank you very much. :)

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Review #4, by Moonyxluna A Late Evening Duet

28th March 2012:
Hi, I saw on the fourms that this was your first story so I thought I would see what you wrote. So first off, congratulations for taking the first step!

I really enjoyed this. The beautiful details in the beginning brought me into the story very well. Its intersting to see Regulus Black married, so kudos on originallity; I haven't read that before :) I'm sort of intregued as to why he can only see her once a year. Great work on this! it's very well written and I didn't notice any grammer/punctuation things, so fantastic job on that! I'm looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing. I appreciate it much.

It's good to know that you enjoyed my story. I spent especially much energy on the details in the beginning so it's good to know it worked. Regulus can only see them once a year because he needs to be hidden, but more details about that will be revealed later in the story. I will try to get the next chapter finished soon.


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