I think what I liked most about this was the depth to Lily and Snape that you exposed in so few words. Here are the main moments I glimpsed it: the comments about hell, Lily's realizations about James and Severus in the afterlife, Snape admitting he doesn't deserve Lily's love, and finally Lily forgiving him for everything. These were all fairly big ideas, but they fit into the story with ease.
I saw echoes of Harry's King's Cross encounter here, especially when Lily said, "This is as real as you make it." Not sure if that's intentional, if we're all a little bit affected by that scene even if we don't know it, or what, but either way, the parallel worked.
I'm not a diehard shipper of any one ship, so I wasn't exactly screaming or beaming as I read this, but I was cheering Lily and Snape on. Whatever Lily said about afterlife, this was a pretty heavenly experience for Snape, and it was sweet. As I've already said, I appreciate the many layers you gave to your characters here, even James and Sirius who were only mentioned. It wasn't overdone, either; this wasn't something worth stretching out or exaggerating. You told the tale, and you told it well. Then you wrapped it up. ;)Author's Response: I'm really trying to write shorter fics! I'm definitely prone to writing a lot so it's been a bit of an experiment to see how much I can pack into so few words. I really want to try tackling the Every Word Counts challenge soon. :)
I'm glad that the length didn't detract from the depth I wanted to give the characters. It's certainly just a snippet in a bigger arc that I've written but I want to give people enough so that they don't really have to read the other ones.
I'm not sure I had that scene in my mind. I think that I use a similar line in the original afterlife fic I had written and wanted to repeat that, but perhaps I was thinking of that scene as well when I was writing it, who knows! It definitely does fit though considering.
I'm actually not a Snily shipper at all so this was kind of interesting to write. I'm glad you were rooting for them though. I'm all about happy endings and I just want people to be with who they're meant to be with and that's just how it worked out in this universe that I've written.
Thanks so much for your review. It really made me happy to read it and to know that you enjoyed it. :) Report Review
Hello! I've been wanted to read and review more of your writing, so I thought I would give this a try. It's really lovely. The imagery you summon to describe the world that Severus wakes up to after his death is striking and beautiful. The emotions are so intense and touching. Snape/Lily is not anywhere on my list of favorite pairings, but I liked this anyway.
The first section painted such a rich, detailed picture in my mind. It took me instantly back to the pensieve scene in Deathly Hallows and the young friends talking and holding hands underneath the tree. Severus's fears of rejection are so deep-seated, his despair at having lost her friendship still so raw... I loved the way you wrote him.
The scene where he shares his dying moment with Harry in the Shrieking Shack (the boathouse, if you're taking the movie version of events) was also very poignant. Her eyes get him in the end. Even though part of him still wants to see Harry as the personification of his father, he can't escape her eyes. I was pleased that you made his final thought one of Harry's safety.
And then there's her revelation at the end. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about it. As I said, I'm not a fan of shipping Snape and Lily. That said, I don't think there's any other explanation for her presence in Severus's afterlife that would have been remotely fulfilling. At least not to him. Her love and forgiveness obviously meant more to him than life itself. It was something he could never have in life because she was gone. Now, in death, it's his ultimate reward for all of his bravery in the face of eventual certain death. So I guess what I'm saying in a roundabout way is that I'm OK with it. ;)
This was very well written. I didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors or typos. You had a great mix of narrative and dialog and your word choice was terrific. Nothing sounded flat or sing-songy. The only thing in the entire piece that I wasn't so wild about was the puzzle pieces metaphor. It just sounded a little corny, surrounded by so many other lovely descriptive passages. It's not a huge thing, just something that stuck out in my mind.
So overall, I think I'd say that you took this militantly anti-Snily reader and won me over for at least a few minutes. That's a sure sign that you did a bang-up job!Author's Response: I was so very surprised to see a new review and from you, no less! It was quite lovely. Snape/Lily is definitely not on my list of favorite pairings either but I wrote it for academica and it fit into an AU that I had written so this worked out well for me.
I think I've been really trying to work on my imagery and descriptions in my writing since my hiatus and it's such a huge ego boost when people comment about how successful it was. It's definitely something I'm working on and trying to improve on, but positive comments are a huge help. The pensieve scene definitely inspired this fic, the whole childhood tree part especially.
It was hard for me to really wrap my head around Snape's love for Lily, but I wanted to show how much their friendship and then their subsequent parting had affected him.
I really loved writing that death scene. It was a little bit of dying madness, seeing Harry there and how much he looked like his father, but having Lily's eyes anchoring him there. He supposedly spent years trying to protect Harry and I didn't want him to forget that, even in his dying moments.
I'm telling you, this story was so hard for me to write, you have no idea. But my idea of the afterlife in other fics I've written...it's important for those who have recently departed to get a sense of closure, to receive forgiveness so they're not burdened by this unbearable weight for eternity. Lily could offer that redemption for Snape. Hah, I'm glad you're okay with it in a roundabout way.
TenthWeasley is a fabulous beta. I will be sure to pass your compliments on to her. Heh, yeah, that puzzle piece bit is rather corny (and kind of cliche). I'll look at it again and see if I can rewrite it to better fit the rest of the fic.
I was really surprised you chose this fic to review, but I'm glad you enjoyed it despite the pairing. I don't think I'll write them again, but it was a fun little exercise to get my creative juices flowing. Thank you so much for the surprise review. I will be sure to get to CoB soon! I keep getting caught up in the A Song of Ice and Fire series and letting fanfic slide to the wayside. Report Review
Gah. Your reviews are always so lovely and so I set out to leave a lovely one of my own, but I'm afraid that I can't comment on this without getting all rambly and gushy and completely useless, because this was absolutely 100% gorgeous.
Gah. I think I'll start every sentence like that, because that's pretty much the mantra that circled around my head while I was reading it. I'm sort of an English nerd, so whenever I see a really gorgeous line I'll just ooh and aah over it for a few moments before continuing. So, keeping that in mind, it took me forever to get through this because it is all just so -pretty- and I wanted to spend time on each line. I think, though, above all else, this is my favorite:
"Familiar green eyes anchored him as he struggled for air, each gasp a measure of the distance he had fallen out of his belovedís favor."
I don't know why, but your metaphor is just... I can't even describe it. It completely tickled me.
Anyway, this was gorgeous. And I love the uniqueness of it, too. I'm all for Sev going to the afterlife and being happy and everything, but the fact that Lily was there was just... so original. I loved the way it was executed.
You're a brilliant writer - don't ever forget that.
xx RinAuthor's Response: You are such a lovely person, thank you for this! It totally made my night. I don't get many random reviews so this was an unexpected and pleasant surprise.
I am totally okay with rambly and gushy as that's how most of my reviews are too. I think we can understand each other that way.
This was definitely an exercise in writing pretty lines so it kind of made me squee when you said how pretty it all was.
Thank you. ^_^ I don't really write Severus very often, especially not with Lily, so this was something new for me and I'm really happy you liked it so much.
I will keep your words with me whenever I start to doubt myself. Thank you.
I love that poem. And I love this one-shot. The forsakenness that Snape feels is embodied perfectly by the poem, and you captured that with your words.
The descriptions and figurative language were gripping and almost heart-breaking. It was beautiful to read.
And though I don't necessarily agree with the Sirius and James pairing, the fact that Snape got a second chance with Lily in the afterlife was just so wonderful. I could never actually picture them being together until I read this. :)
So, marvelous, fabulous, GENIUS writing. 11/10. ;)Author's Response: Heh, forsaken - fits my name. ;) It's such a fantastic poem and I think it really helped me get into the mindset for this fic.
I'm so glad you think it's beautiful. I really wanted to get back to my roots and use a bit more flowery prose with this, so it makes me really happy that it worked well for you.
Well, James/Sirius isn't for everyone, and I don't normally ship them, but wanted to for my afterlife fics, so it's okay if you weren't a fan. It was actually the Snape/Lily that allowed me to write the James/Sirius so this was always a consideration for an outtake.
Ah, I'm really pleased that you actually considered their pairing after reading this. That makes me so happy. :)
Thank you for your kind words. You are too sweet. Thank you. Report Review
Well, I couldn't resist reading this one because I'm a shamelessly rabid Snape fan, and if I can't have him with my OC I made up, I want him to be with Lily, darn it!
"His gut twisted uncomfortably, and he felt guilt rising like bile up his throat." --I love how you make him so honorable, even in death. Severus is such a wonderfully complex character to read about and attempt to write. I think he probably punished himself so much worse than anything Voldemort could have done to him.
I love how you have Severus hovering somewhere between life and death. If you believe in an afterlife, you tend to think that you're alive, you die, then you reawaken somewhere else in that order and with those precise steps. But what if the spirit world is more fluid than ours? I think JKR certainly hints at that with the scene of Harry talking to his mother with the Resurrection Stone. The idea of Severus slipping into "heaven," then his body pulling him back to life but tricking him to think he's still with Lily before his dying brain correctly forms the vision to be of Harry instead is really so interesting.
I always wondered what would happen in heaven if someone's spouse died then they remarried. Would they then have two spouses in heaven? Would they all share? Would it not matter because heaven would operate in a way we could never even comprehend, like being with each spouse separately at the same time? But I guess you've solved this neatly with some James and Sirius slash, which I have no problem with since I hated both those characters, so good riddance to them in my mind.
"...and in that moment he knew nothing but truth and love as she pressed her lips to his." OH SQUEE! That's why I love reading Snape/Lily stories! They're always just so swoon-tastic.
Well, from reading two one-shots of yours now, it's clear that you have a definite talent for packing emotion into a very small package. If I just scan down the page, it doesn't look like a lot of words, but reading it feels like reading something three times as long (in a good way! :D) I'm always very jealous of writers who are able to do that. I don't write many one-shots at all, so I haven't had much practice myself. But this was a really nice one-shot, very gratifying for the Snape-lovers out there who were totally bummed out by the way "Deathly Hallows" ended. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff! I think I'm going to try something with chapters next to see how you write in a different format. Great job! ~RennyAuthor's Response: I heard you were a Snape fan so I was a little wary to see what you thought of my interpretation of Snily. I suppose I didn't have much to worry about.
I love Snape's character and he is so complex, which makes him difficult to write, sometimes (I think). I'm sure he punished himself for everything he had done, worse than what anyone could have done to him. To love someone so deeply to sacrifice so much..it's just, wow.
The afterlife is kind of interesting. I'm not much of a religious person, but I kind of like the idea that there's something waiting for us after life. You've pretty much nailed my ideas of the afterlife in your comments, and I love that other people understand what I wanted to convey. Snape is kind of in limbo, a bit, with Harry there but he thinks it's Lily and then slipping into the real afterlife to be with the woman he gave up everything for. So romantic.
That's actually a good question. When I started my afterlife 'verse, it was always meant to be a James/Sirius fic and sending Lily to be with Snape solved that problem for me, but here...it's James/Sirius that opens up Lily to be with Severus, finally.
It's funny because the two most recent one-shots that you've read are the shortest ones I've writtten in a long time. Actually, Into the Darkness of the Grave IS the shortest fic I've ever written. I tend to be wordy so it's definitely been an interesting challenge to condense my fics and pack more emotion into fewer words. For the longest time, I thought I had to maintain a certain word count but now I don't care, and I'll stop when I want to stop and I feel the story is complete, regardless of how many words I've used (well, as long as it's more than 500, of course).
Chaptered fics are a bit different, that's for sure. I'm not sure what I have on my page that might interest you since I'm mostly a Remus or Sirius writer. But feel free to take a gander and review what you like. I'd love to hear back from you. Thanks for your review and giving my Snily some love. :) Report Review
I really like this one-shot a lot.
I am not much of a Lilly/Snape fan but I quite like your take on this, especially an afterlife where there's a life as so to speak.
It's quite nice to know that Snape has a place with Lily in the afterlife. It made the story more complete. I love how he finally has his happy ending.
Well done.Author's Response: Despite not being a fan of the ship, I'm really glad you liked it! I really liked the idea of being able to give Snape redemption in the afterlife and bringing back memories of his childhood where things were simpler and Lily was still his best friend.
Thank you for your review. :) Report Review
My gosh...the ship of Severus and Lily is kind of making a soft spot. I don't know, am I allowed to ship James and Lily as well as Sev and Lily?
You wrote them so, so, so nicely. I really, really, loved how you wrote them this was just so, so, good. You really have a talent, and I love it!
Thank you for sharing,
LizzieAuthor's Response: Aw, you can ship whoever you want. I'm still a James/Lily shipper - always will be, but this was an interesting pairing to try and write.
Thank you so much for the sweet compliments, Lizzie. You're the best. Report Review
Gah. You and your ability to make me cheer for ships that I don't particularly care for normally. So, this was a gorgeous little piece of writing. Even in the beginning when Severus was flickering between life and death, it felt so peaceful. The language you chose to use and the smooth rhythm of your words gave an impression of sort of floating gently downwards.
Snape is such a sad character -- living grasping to a person who was never his to begin with, and even more so to a person who likely wasn't the same girl he fell in love with. Time changes people, and I feel like snape was more in love with the idea of lily than lily herself. It was so, rewarding (not sure that's the word I'm searching for, but it'll have to do for now) to find Lily in Snape's afterlife. He lived in such a purgatory... and he definitely did prove himself in the end. It seemed as though LIly was his heaven (even though you say heaven and hell don't exist in this afterlife).
His conversation with lily felt a bit like his interview at the gate, and when LIly finally kissed him, it was like the great pearly gates opened for him.
The imagery in this was gorgeous, and the amount of metaphorical stuff I can pull from it speaks to the quality of it. YOu're a great author, Missy and it behooves me to find something to critique.
Great work!Author's Response: I guess that's a good thing, especially considering I'm not even a Snily shipper. ;)
Aww, thanks. You sort of got the whole feel I was trying to go for, so I'm really happy with that.
Snape is a sad character but gah, Alan Rickman's performance in DH2 just sort of brought it all home for me and made me more sympathetic for Snape's character than the book did. But your perception of his character is really dead-on for how I normally feel too - about him loving the idea of Lily more than Lily herself.
I guess if you're going to live in the afterlife, at least it should be your idea of what heaven should look like, yeah? ;)
I like that analogy of the gate and Lily being the Gate Keeper kind of - that's clever! I didn't even think of it that way but it's pretty accurate!
Thanks for all the compliments. You're the best! ^_^ Report Review
So I really wanted to read something of yours, and found this super interesting! I really loved this new take on Snape/Lily, it's definitely something not usually written - the afterlife was very creative, I liked your take on it. I thought Snape's characterisation was great - I really thought you got him right. I'm a bit hesitant at Lily's great change of heart/mind, but anything can happen in the afterlife, and it's always nice to see a happy ending.
I thought this was really creative, definitely something quite different, but very good nonetheless. I also thought your writing was quite amazing, so lovely one-shot :)Author's Response: I'm glad you stopped by! Thanks. I sort of imagined this afterlife world with two of my other fics so I thought I'd add this little outtake, and I'm happy you liked it. You know, Lily's change of heart does seem sudden but to me, she's had years of contemplation in the afterlife to come to terms with her relationship with Severus and what she expects out of it, so maybe it seems quick from his POV, but for Lily, who's waited over a decade for this moment, it couldn't have come soon enough.
I'm also a sucker for happy endings, so there's that too. ;)
Thank you so much for the kind review. I really appreciated it. Report Review
Oooh, Snape afterlife! I wanted to check this out. I admit I'm not the biggest fan of putting Lily on a pedestal, because sometimes she seems more like a prize than a girl, a bit of a flat perfection. I think I can see it for Snape's personal heaven though. I kind of imagine this Lily as this idealized angel of his, and there's something really bittersweet about finally attaining that happiness that escaped him for so long. He's held onto her as that bit of good in him. She's what he lived for and what he died for, and if anything, he can at last be at peace with himself as best as he can.
I love the way you set the afterlife, by the way - it reminds me of their youth!
♥Author's Response: I can see where you're coming from on the whole...putting Lily on a pedestal thing. It's kind of hard to get out of that mindset, I think, especially in this sort of setting and from this POV.
I really wanted to give Snape that bit of redemption that he couldn't get while living, and since I had sort of already written Snape/Lily into my other storyline, this sort of just bloomed from that. I like happy endings so I was glad I could give Snape his.
The afterlife was meant to be reminiscent of their youth so it's good you picked up on that. Thanks, Gina! :) Report Review
All I can say is...wow! This was absolutely stunning; wherever did you learn to write like this? Everything from the colourful imagery to the poetic timing is, for lack of a better word, perfect. I really can't fault you on it, which is strange because that never usually happens when I read somebody's story on here so kudos for that.
I strongly despise the James/Lily ship (it's been overused to the point where it completely sickens me) so I'll welcome any alternative with open arms and I have to admit; your story may have just made me fall in love with the Snape/Lily ship that little bit more. Admittedly, the whole prospect of Lily choosing Snape over James is a tad bit unrealistic for me personally but I don't even care; if it's something I prefer then any obligation to side with realism goes completely out of the window.
I was particularly impressed by your characterisation of Snape. He's my favourite character in the entire series so for me if a story doesn't characterise him well enough then I'll refuse to read it. You got him down to a tee though and ditto with Lily. I simply cannot fault this story; you should be so proud of it.
x - JessiesGirl - xAuthor's Response: Hey JessiesGirl,
Thank you so much. I must admit that this comes with years and years of practice, and I'm still learning new things every day! I'm so happy that you loved this story of mine so much.
Aw, that's too bad. Jily is one of my favorite pairings, so I'm sorry to hear that fanfiction has ruined it for you. I'm actually not a huge fan of the Snape/Lily pairing, haha, so I'm glad I could write it convincingly enough. I don't know, I kind of see Snape as Lily's first love that she never really got over, despite his cruelty (at least in this case). Mostly it was just an excuse so I could ship James/Sirius in my other fic and the revelation of Snape's feelings for Lily kind of spurred on the Snily pairing from there.
I was pretty terrified to write Snape, to be honest. I'm so used to writing the Marauders that writing anyone else is scary, especially when people like you, who adore his character, are reading my work. I'm always worried that I didn't do your favorite character justice. I'm thrilled that you loved him.
Thank you so, so much for your kind words. This was such a sweet, lovely review. :) Report Review
Sorry for the late review, but I just finished everyone's stories. :) Anyway, this was beautifully written. The feelings Snape feels and how you wrote his dying scene was absolutely brilliant. Somehow, I was able to see colors swim around with each scene I read. Though, I do wish that it was longer. A topic as important as this could have had a lot more explanation in it, because I wasn't able to officially get into the way Lily changed her mind. I really like the idea of Snape and Lily, but only when she chooses James in the end. I have read a few believable Lily/Snape stories though, and this one really would have had me, but I really think it could have expanded more. Either way, the story is beautiful, and I love what you have in it. :) 9/10!Author's Response: Hey, no worries! Sorry about the late response. School is a soul-sucker. I always get all flustered when people call my work beautiful, but thank you. That means a lot to me that you think so. His dying scene was my absolute favorite to write - it's actually what started this entire story, so I'm pleased that you thought it was brilliant.
This wasn't meant to be a long piece, just a small little present for a good friend. A lot of the back story about the afterlife is presented in my other fics and I didn't want to rewrite those in this fic, does that make sense? I guess for those who have never read the other two fics, this might seem a little vague and kind of out there, but I think this glimpse into the afterlife suited this story.
I'm actually a James/Lily shipper and Snape/Lily is a pairing that I don't care much for. However, in this 'universe' that I created, I ship James/Sirius and Lily leaves James so that he can be with Sirius, and she ends up with Snape. So, it all kind of comes together in the end, but yeah, I can see where you're coming from.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for such a wonderful review. Report Review
This was so sweet! I've only just started to ship Snily (because I'm a die-hard Jily shipper) I loved this! I think you got Severus' and Lily's personalities perfect. And the emotion was perfect!
I just loved the whole story in general!
I shall now go off and read more Snily :)
JasAuthor's Response: Oh hey there, I'm glad you chose this little story of mine to read. I'm a die-hard James/Lily shipper too, so this was really difficult for me to write. Thank you so much for the review - it means a lot to me that you love this story. :) Report Review
ahh, I've meant to get to this since forever! So when I saw the chance in the review battle, I pounced on it. So excited that you wrote a Snily! ;)
I also loved how this tied into the A Cold Heaven verse - story continuity is such a wonderful thing ^-^ As silly as it might seem, I was sort of glad about that - that was James can have Sirius, and Lily can have Severus, and everyone's happy. yay!
Your imagery is beautiful, as always. a neglected boy who found hope in the embrace of a young girl bursting with life and magic, for example. It's so perfect and it really seemed to describe Severus to me.
I also loved how you mentioned how the green eyes were anchoring him as he died - such a perfect little detail to put in there. :)
It was poetic and sweet and absolutely lovely. I really liked it! And I did think the title was great - it worked wonderfully for the story. You should write more Snape/Lily! ;) Lovely job ♥Author's Response: Hee, I've been waiting for your review! I'm so glad you finally had the opportunity to check out my first (and maybe only) attempt at Snily.
When I was writing ACH, I sort of had an idea of writing a Snily outtake, but the idea of writing this ship that I was so against (except not when it fitted my needs to get James and Sirius together) seemed kind of daunting. I don't remember when but Amanda said she'd try her hand at Remus/Sirius (and she wrote a Jily), so I figured I should attempt to write that outtake I had thought about a couple of years ago. I'm all for happy endings. :)
Thank you so much. That's actually one of my favorite lines so I'm so happy you picked it out.
Snape's death scene was really interesting to write, and I'm not sure if people really understood what I was trying to get at. So, yeah, Harry's green eyes were what were anchoring him in that moment as he died, but the whole bit about the boy was Severus sort of remembering James but then seeing those eyes that reminded him that Harry was not the same boy his father was...if that makes any sense? I guess it's not a huge deal/maybe doesn't make sense, but I figured I'd point it out to at least someone.
Yay, I'm glad you liked it! I think the title worked really well too and I'm happy with it! Um, yeah, this was probably a one-time deal, sorry. :P We'll see!
Thanks for the review. :) Report Review
This was a nice pick for the duel.
I always thought Snape deserved redemption. Your glimpse into the afterlife is nice reward for all the sacrifice. A second chance and a birthday present, what could be better?
~TyAuthor's Response: Hey Ty,
Thanks for checking my little story out. I'm glad you liked this. I sort of warmed up to Snape during DH, but I actually felt more of a connection with him during the movie than the book (Alan Rickman is that good). The movie is actually what forced me to get going on this story, actually.
It's just a brief glimpse of the afterlife, as I go into it a bit more in my other stories, but it's enough to give Snape what he deserves.
Thanks for the review. :) Report Review
Hi! It's Livingfairytale from the forums with your requested review. I'm sorry for letting you wait, but I had a really busy week. But now I'm here, let's get started!
First impression: I must admit that i'm a huge Snape/Lily shipper, so I was glad you requested this story. I like how you started off: the descriptions were beautiful and they pulled me into the story right away. I absolutely love the part when Lily says: "This is as real as you make it." Well done!
Characterization: What can I say? The characterization was spot on. Perfectly written, and they didn't seem out of place. I loved reading from Severus point of view, since you captured his character perfectly. And the last sentence, well, it was breathtaking!
Overall: I've enjoyed this very, very much. Thanks for giving me such a lovely read!
x LivingfairytaleAuthor's Response: Hey, I'm sorry for the extremely late response. The end of the semester got really busy for me and I've been away from responding to reviews and writing for a while.
I'm really happy you liked the descriptions. I really wanted to get that flare back that I feel I used to have and lost when I took a couple years off from writing, so this was sort of an exercise in that. Glad it seems to have paid off! The whole line you pulled out about it being as real as you make it ties back into the original back stories to this fic, but it's nice that you pointed it out because it's definitely a big theme in the afterlife - that it's strange, confusing and some times things happen you can't explain, but in the end, your experience is what you make of it. You could live your entire existence in pain, burdened by the guilt of your past, or you can choose to move on, to embrace forgiveness in all its forms and find happiness forever. That's what I like about writing this, I think.
I was a little nervous writing Snape for the first time, so thank you for reassuring me that everything read well for you.
I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thank YOU for such a lovely review! :) Report Review
Hi! Here with your requested review from TGS! :) What an apt birthday gift for academica. Not only are you writing her OTP but you also stuck Adrian Brody in your banner! Thatís awesome.
I like this beginning sequence where we have the older Snape wanting a bit of the goodness and innocence that he had in his younger days, when he and Lily were friends. Thereís the tiredness of death and decay thatís present and then that bit of hope that seems tentative but willing to bloom.
His death scene makes me so sad. Even the mention of it here, where Iím present at the final moments of his life and his thoughts are coherent yet not. It makes me sad. I like how youíve kept Severus still having that tinge of anger/hate towards Harry but also that bit of love that he has because of his mother, in that he hopes his memories will save Harry.
LOL, I like how you slipped in that bit about James/SiriusÖthough isnít Sirius/Remus your OTP? (And now that Iíve read your Authorís Note, I get why the mention.)
Sev seemed quick to accept Lilyís presence and quick to be hurt but other than that, I thought you captured his adoration of her quite well. She was his everything and still is. I donít have a handle on Lilyís characterization, mainly because this is from Sevís POV as well as maybe youíve established her more in your other fics, but she seemed at peace with her afterlife and her decision to be there with Severus. She also seemed confident and knew more about what was going on then him (which I guess she does).
I loved your descriptions like this one he felt warmth in the pit of his stomach that spread outward like a sunburst. These just made the story flow and gave it a bit of an ethereal air to it which is appropriate considering that it takes place in the afterlife.
Overall, this was a sweet (as in cool and as in lovely feeling) fic.
Haha, Adrian Brody was actually Susan's idea but it all worked out well. Amanda was pleased. :)
This ship is so hard for me to write, but seeing the memory sequence in DH2 really sort of got my imagination going, and it was really nice that this fit into my story line for A Cold Heaven. Snape and Lily in the afterlife and being able to reminisce about their childhood, before everything sort of all went downhill.
The death scene was my favorite to write. It was interesting trying to make it coherent enough for the readers to understand, but still rambling and slightly frantic. The anger/hate is more towards James - at least that's what I was trying to get at - since Harry looks so much like him, and he's angry that James took Lily from him, but Harry's eyes (his mother's eyes) are sort of what grounds him to that moment and then he's lucid enough to share his memories with Harry, hoping they will save him.
Yeah, I'm still not quite happy with their dialogue scene but meh. I'm not quite sure how to fix it. It is hard to get things to be perfect in such a short scene. But I'm glad you thought I wrote his adoration well. It was hard for me as a James/Lily shipper to do that, but it's done (and will probably never happen again). Lily has definitely hard time to come to terms with the afterlife. After all, she had been there for over a decade, getting used to its strange quirks and realizing her potential in the afterlife and all that.
Thank you! I did try to work on my poetic flair a little bit :P and I definitely wanted readers to get a feel for the afterlife - which is why I think Susan's banner is perfect. It's so otherworldly. I love it. Thanks for your sweet review. :) Report Review
Hi! Maggie here with your review!
Wow, this is just beautiful. I love the vibrant imagery you use and the lyrical prose. You've got some gorgeous lines in here! I couldn't list them all if I tried, but my favorite is at the very beginning: "...lungs starving for air not fouled by death and decay."
I like what you've done with Severus. He seems much more mellow in this story than I normally see him, which makes sense because he's in the afterlife. But his personality is still there; things like his angry reaction when James is mentioned, his resentment toward Harry in the flashback, and his reverence toward Lily all seem very true to his character. And Lily is just like how I would imagine her. She's beautiful, gentle, and honest even when it might hurt.
I'm having to work really hard to find concrit to give here! The only thing I could mention is that the James/Sirius thing seems almost too convenient (if that makes sense). But then again, this is a companion story to something I've never read, so that's probably why that pairing seems out of the blue.
I love this piece! It's gorgeous and it flows effortlessly. As a Snape/Lily shipper myself, I especially enjoyed seeing the two of them have a happy, peaceful ending. Great job!
--MaggieAuthor's Response: Hi Maggie,
Thank you so much. The imagery was an important aspect for me and I really wanted readers to get an idea of what Snape was envisioning in his afterlife. It's meant to be a bit ethereal and I hope that came across.
Snape is a character I haven't ever written so it was interesting to write this from his POV. His adoration for Lily was sweet and it was nice to be able to give him this redemption in the afterlife after everything he had done in life.
Haha, if you read the James/Sirius fic then perhaps you'd think the Snape/Lily pairing was convenient. I think it wouldn't seem as out of place if you did read the companion pieces, though.
As a Snily shipper, I'm glad you liked my attempt at this ship. I'm a James/Lily shipper myself so this interesting.
I'm all about happy endings myself so I'm glad to have written this.
Thank you for your sweet review. :) Report Review
You did amazing with your imagery, especially in the first paragraph! I loved this line: ďRecognition tickled his senses, and his eyes darted back and forth, taking in the familiar field, the tree with its gnarled branches stretching skyward as if it could reach the heavens.ď It was wonderfully written and paints a beautiful picture in your readerís mind. I can tell you are a very strong writer and you put a lot of thought into each sentence.
I really like the way you presented the afterlife as a life all its own. It is something unique to your story and could really leave an imprint on a readerís mind.
Snape and Lilyís relationship is something Iíve always struggled with. Would Lily forgive Severus for calling her a mud blood? Would Severus forgive Lily for choosing James? Those are questions we will never know the answer to, but it is nice to read a story that gives a believable scenario of what could occur if Snape and Lily were ever to meet again.
The only thing I found in your story that I didnít like was the formatting, which says a lot about how well it was written. Instead of using * as separation, use the line feature that HPFF offers. It makes the story look a lot better.Author's Response: I'm really glad the imagery worked for you. It was fun to write this and get a bit flowery with my prose. I'm not a big Snape/Lily shipper, but in the afterlife that I've designed, it's hard to move on if you're feeling burdened by the weight of your sins. So in order to be happy, you need to forgive and be forgiven. It just happened to work well with this fic.
In regards to the formatting, I actually don't like the line break that HPFF uses. It spans the length of the page and I don't like how it looks. Something simple like how this was divided works better for me. I guess it's just a matter of opinion, but thanks for pointing out that you didn't like it.
Thanks for the thoughtful review. I really appreciated it. Report Review
A very moving, well written one shot, good job :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) Report Review
Wow, Missy, you never fail to amaze me.
I love Snily, but I typically only like it when it's unrequited, so this was a bit of a change for me, and I loved every word. I think my biggest problem in Snily where Lily and Snape are together is that James Potter is so easily forgotten. He's thrust away, or he's killed off, just to make room for their relationship. In this, you've managed to have the two men coexist. I really like that Lily acknowledged her love for James, and the line where she said "I forgive you" was so simple and sweet. Lovely.
I also really like the repetition of green and light. The small foray into the living world, with Harry's eyes resembling Lily's, was absolutely gorgeous. I really love how you tied this in with the events in canon, and that passage completed the story.
Your imagery and style was impecable, as always. Another excellent one shot to add to your collection :D
-NaidaAuthor's Response: NAIDA!
Sorry for the ridiculously late author response.
YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH, stop it! You are one of my biggest supporters, so thank you. You're the best.
It's hard to write ships where there's already this deeply ingrained relationship in the way. I wasn't sure what to do with Lily when I put James and Sirius together, at first, but then it just really worked out well for me when I sent her off to be with Snape.
Lily still loves James, and she will always love him, but there comes a point where she realizes that he isn't first her heart, and she isn't first in his, and she needs to move on.
I always tie things in with canon, you should know that by now. :P
Gah, thank you so much for the lovely review. You're fabulous. Report Review
This is a fab one shot!
I am getting round to the whole Snape/Lily ship a little bit but I think this works really well.
She's had time to think this over and see about forgiving Snape about what he said to her and she you've shown she has had a good life with James but nowhe has his best friend and as you insinuates his partner with him, he doesn't need her anymore.
I really do like the way you've seemed to make this work without it seeming too pushy! Well done!Author's Response: I'm still not a huge fan of the ship so this was an interesting one-shot to write. :P
Lily has definitely had a long time to come to terms with her relationship with Snape and everything that fell apart between them. It's not that James doesn't need Lily anymore, but they've both sort of moved on. It's not obvious in this, but in the afterlife fics I've written, he struggles to accept that Lily is leaving him for Snape. It'll be a long road for him until he's finally happy without her because he's lived in denial for so long, but eventually everyone will be where they should be.
Thank you for your kind words. :) Report Review
It's Roots in Water here with your review!
I really enjoyed this story and I think that you did a fantastic job with both this continuation of A Cold Heaven and with the description of the beginning of their new relationship.
To begin, I absolutely loved the section of the story where you described his death. You did a brilliant job of describing why he wanted Harry to look at him and I liked the brief flash of memory that you used to describe both her eyes and their former relationship.
As well, I think that you did a great with his characterization. He probably wouldn't have been the angry, bitter man that he had become in the prescence of Lily and you allowed his better qualities to shine through. Furthermore, you highlighted his pure feelings for her without overwhelming the reader with repetition.
I liked the way in which you explained the fallout after the incident in fifth year- though Severus obviously regretted it, it makes sense that Lily would be the one to realize the value in what had happened between them, in the good things that had come out of that exchange. It was also really sweet how all it took for the issue to be resolved was forgiveness, instead of a long, drawn-out resentment on either of their parts.
The final sentence was very well done- it more than anything showed the permanence of the change in their relationship and opened the door to their future. It was the perfect ending to a story about forgiving and new beginnings.
All in all I think that you did a great job with this one-shot and it definitely doesn't show that it was your first time writing Severus! Your description was beautiful and the characterization very well done. Thanks for requesting a review!Author's Response: Hi, I am so sorry for the delay in responding to your review. There is no excuse. :(
It's great to have a reader who has read both ACH and LWP and knows where this fic is coming from.
I really enjoyed writing Snape's death scene (yes, that sounds morbid, but it was really interesting to go back to my stylistic roots a bit there). Yes, he felt grounded looking into Harry's eyes for a moment, though maybe not slightly sane, maybe he really thought he was looking at Lily.
I was worried about writing Snape and I really did not want him to seem too sappy. So I'm pleased his characterization worked well for you.
I didn't want her to totally discredit her relationship with James, at all. She obviously loved him - she built a life with him, a family. Sometimes, though, we realize that there's more out there for us, and I imagine if Lily's spent years in the afterlife having time to contemplate everything, she'd come to that sort of conclusion.
As I'm sure you know from ACH, forgiveness is a huge part of the afterlife, so I was glad to give them that.
I love that ending too so I'm happy you liked it. :)
Thank you so much for your kind review. Again, I am so unbelievably sorry as to how long it's taken me to finally respond. You're the best! Report Review
Hi! Thanks for doing the review swap with me! :D
I'll admit this to you, when I saw this story before I couldn't get myself to read it since it is primarily labeled a Snape/Lily pairing and I'm a strictly James/Lily pairing kind of girl, but, had I not read this for the review swap, I would have truly missed out.
Forever I have thought the two characters incapable of being together simply because of the way he hurt her so badly during their fifth year and the different circumstances they came from, yet, somehow you made it supremely believable, and that is a sign of a truly great writer, so bravo!
From every word you used to every description you wrote made this piece so well worth the read! I liked the touch of James in there, if only to explain why Lily was going to be with Severus now, because otherwise the story would have been missing something.
So, all in all? I think you're a fantastic writer! I will be sure to check out more of your stuff sometime! :) However, I'm still a ways off from ever shipping Snape/Lily. ;) [That will take a LONG TIME I'm afraid hehe!]
~VioletBladeAuthor's Response: No problem! I love doing review swaps.
I am a huge Lily/James fan, don't worry! Snape/Lily is actually a pairing that I'm not particularly fond of, so this was an interesting attempt for me.
Despite their differences and the incident that drove them apart, I'm happy my writing could make you believe in the ship. That means a lot to me.
I didn't want to forget completely about James. He was a huge part of Lily's life and it's only natural to wonder what his role is in her life here in the afterlife.
Well, thank you for the compliments. I hope you stop by and read more of my fics, I'd love to hear from you. Don't worry - I'm far off from shipping them too but I'm glad you took a chance and still enjoyed it. Thank you so much! Report Review
Ugh, heartwrenching. It's fluffy, but it's so sad too, and beautifully so. It's sad because this is the only way these two can ever be together, that there's no other way for her to forgive him or for him to find happiness. I've often wondered whether he blames himself more for her death or for calling her a mudblood - both seem to haunt him equally, forever preventing him from escaping that shadow of guilt for killing the light. You give them a happy ending that just fits. That last line really brought forth the happy tears - you couldn't have found a better way to end this. I will probably end up calling everything "beautiful" and "perfect" throughout my review, so brace yourself.
You've described Snape's situation so perfectly that I could swear you're an avid shipper and have been for years (secretly, of course :P). You captured the details of the relationship as well as the feeling of it - that mix of innocence and longing, the happy childhood memories and the physical desire, which is usually difficult to balance. He's a "grey" character in almost every possible sense, and you've done brilliantly in writing him. Not that I'm at all surprised, of course. ;)
The way that you divided the story was intriguing, and I like the contrast of it, the way that it pulls readers back into the "living" world to the grim scene of death with Lily's eyes guiding Snape home. The style of writing you employed in that section was amazing - all of the green and the tragically pathetic way that he glows at the image of her face, the last thing he thinks about. It definitely created one of those "all the feelings" moments for me, and it was my favourite part of the story, as beautiful as the rest is.
Have you ever considered writing more of this ship? :P You've done amazing work with this one-shot and wrapped it up perfectly with an Eliot bow - it couldn't get better than this. I can see this being canon and I really hope that it is the ending that both of them, all of them, achieved. It's just too perfect. ^_^Author's Response: I feel like 'heartwrenching' is one of your favorite words. :P
Psh, the afterlife is the only place I'd ever consider Snily to be so I'm glad you recognize how sad it is that it's the only place for them to be together. ;) And I know, fluff (a little bit, at least). Way more than what I'm used to writing, that's for sure.
I am totally okay with everything being beautiful, but as I told Helen in a response to her review - perfect is a standard I'm not quite comfortable with. :P
Ha! Your lies! This was so hard for me to write, even though I sort of hinted at this ship with LWP. I wanted to return to that innocence of their relationship before he called her a Mudblood, before the war tore them apart.
Thank you. I'm glad you liked the contrast and the repetition of the green. All the feels!
I probably won't return to this ship, but you never know. :P I'm so, so happy you liked this. You're such a wonderful friend and a faithful reviewer and I don't know what I would do without you in my life! Report Review
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