Reading Reviews for Goodbye
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore Goodbye

18th July 2013:
You've just managed to make me burst into tears in five paragraphs, and I'm now receiving strange looks from the people around me. I don't know whether to congratulate you or complain!

The Marauders... the stories of each and every one of them was so completely tragic. I love this imagined moment, with Sirius visiting their graves one last time. Reading about his heartbreak at this point, when his two best friends have just died, and he blames himself and another of his best friends for their death, also breaks my heart. It's so sad to see, and I found it really believable and poignant.

James and Lily's story is so sad and upsetting, and for anyone who thinks that their death meant they missed out on so many important moments in their son's life, it's really moving. For Sirius, that realisation must have had even more impact, because all he wanted in persuading the Potters to make Peter their secret keeper was to keep them and Harry safe. I don't know how he dealt with the grief and pain that must have caused.

My only CC in this one-shot would be that you misspell Sirius as "Sirus" throughout, but that's easily fixed and not something that detracts from the story. Well done on such a great one-shot!

Sian :)

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Review #2, by Remus Goodbye

13th July 2012:
Hey! Perelandra here with the review swap! :D

I'm a real sucker for 'James and Lily die and Remus/Sirius mourn" stories. They're always heart breaking!

The only complaint that I have is that it was way too short! :( I wanted to read more of it.

I absolutely love Sirius' despair and guilt over Lily and James' death. The line "Sirus wept the tears that James and Lily couldnít cry themselves." really got me teary eyed. Nice, wording. You could really feel his emotions on this.

The only CC that I have to give is that you keep misspelling Sirius' name. This fic and the one that I reviewed the crossover with the Hunger Games you have 'Sirus" instead of 'Sirius." You're missing the second 'i'.

Thanks for the swap! Now I'm going to find another story from your large collection to review. :D


Author's Response: Hey!

They really are the best stories aren't they? The stories that are just: beginning, angst, angst, angst, end. haha.

I wanted to write more but after I finished it was only that long and so I entered it into the 'every words counts' challenge. I have to admit that it's my favourite challenge!!!

Woops :/ *runs away to fix that up* thanks for pointing that out!


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Review #3, by LunarLuna Goodbye

11th July 2012:
aww... this was sweet and sad :'( Poor marauder-era kids... none of them had it easy on them didn't they?

This was really good! :) I loved how you portrayed Sirius, I think you've depicted him in a matter very close to what we've seen of him in the books :')

Great story! :)



Author's Response: Thank you! I know, they had such bittersweet lives, I think that's why they are my favourite.

Thank you!!
Jas, xx

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Review #4, by agingerrose Goodbye

27th June 2012:
Oh my gosh! That made me cry in 5 paragraphs! Excellently written.

Author's Response: I didn't mean to make you cry! I promise! Thank you though :) I'm glad you liked it! :D

Jas, x

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Review #5, by Scriptie Goodbye

19th June 2012:
OMG this made me cry soo much!!! It was beautiful and sad... I love your one-shots :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Trust me, making you cry wasn't my attention (although, most of my stories tend to make people cry...) haha, thank you!

Jas, x

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Review #6, by naughtforreal Goodbye

15th May 2012:
crying. ohmygod yes. I'm crying. this. one-shot. I. can't. nice work, btw. keep writing while I go shed some tears.

Author's Response: Thank you! I didn't mean to make you cry - I'm glad you liked it :D


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Review #7, by Hats For House Elves Goodbye

14th May 2012:
Amazing. I don't usually read the really short stories but I'm glad I did. You managed to capture my attention from the first sentence which in such a short story is so important but more importantly you kept my attention til the very last word. I'm not ashamed to admit I was nearly tearing up, which for someone who only cried at Dumbledore's death is quite a feat.
Well done.


Author's Response: Hey,

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you tear up! (what am I talking about? That was the whole purpose of the story haha) Haha, thank you

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Review #8, by Opalpixiechick Goodbye

14th May 2012:
Awww. Very touching chapter. I always wondered what happened before Sirus went after Peter the first time. I hope you add more to this story. :) It is really good so far.

Author's Response: Thank you! I won't be adding any more to this story unfortuantly - it's only a one-shot not a novella, novel or short story. I'm glad you liked it

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Review #9, by ariellem Goodbye

6th May 2012:
You are clearly the kind of author that gets straight to the point with her fics. I kind of like that (even though I'm more wordy myself).

Sirius's emotions felt very real, the pain and the guilt that he felt for them cut through me like a knife. You did a great job on your first marauders era!

Author's Response: I'm really not; I think the word count made me do that haha :P Thank you! Sirus Black is such an amazing character - I love him so much *goes and sobs in a corner*

Haha, just ignore that; Thank yoU!

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Review #10, by charlottetrips Goodbye

5th April 2012:
This was so moving. Sirus wept the tears that James and Lily couldnít cry themselves - what a beautiful line. He's beyond sad for himself, he's more sad for what the Potters aren't going to be able to experience.

This one moment for Sirius to express his feelings in private and have his own good-bye was beautifully done in so few words. There were a few spelling errors but you could see them if you read through carefully. Overall it did not detract.

I liked how you made it so that he felt some mysterious ghosting on his had when he gave the lilies to the Potters. It's an appropriate flower and his continued conversation to them was very sad to read about.

A very nicely done submission I would think!

: Char :

Author's Response: Thank you! I think I was really upset when I wrote it which is why it was so angsty! haha.

It's my headcanon that Sirus went to visit James & Lily's graves before he went after Peter, I mean, he would just have to. *tear*

Thank you!

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Review #11, by NaidatheRavenclaw Goodbye

31st March 2012:

This was a really great one shot :) I'm always super impressed at the stories written in 500 words. Some of my favorite one shots are for the Every Word Counts challenge because they manage to portray a lot of emotion in a small amount of writing, and this is no exception. Sirius's emotions come through really well. It's completely believeable, and I really like when he made the vow. Your description of that was flawless.

The last little bit with the lilies was gorgeous as well. I could picture that perfectly-Sirius at the grave with the singly lily on each of them. And the last line was so Sirius! That tied the entire story together.

Lovely job :)


Author's Response: Thank you! I've always been impressed with people who have managed to write something in 500 words, so I thought i'd give it a (second) go. So are mine! Thank you, it was my first attempt at writing anything Marauder-like so I'm glad you thought I did it good :)

Thank you!

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Review #12, by Cirque Du Freak Goodbye

29th March 2012:
Ugh this was so good. Honestly I really loved this and I think you're one of those people who could really make feelings and just the writing itself come alive in such a limited amount of words.

I think that you use short sentences to your advantage in the beginning before producing longer ones towards the story, but to make sure its still consistent as well, because I found that starting and stopping at the beginning a bit awkward.

I really like the idea of having Sirius come to their graves and reflect about their deaths even though it wasn't quite canon, because of Sirius following Peter to try and kill him on the same night. That doesn't lessen the brilliance of this, though. What it would have been like if Sirius hadn't been so driven by his anger. A nice touch! :)


Author's Response: Thank you! This made my day so much better! Yeah sorry about the awkwardness but I think it was like that because I had to make it fit in 500 words.
My headcanon is that Sirus visited the grades anyway (either before or after he went after Peter, obviously in mine its before)
Thank you!

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