32 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Silverstone Nata Chapter Fifteen

13th December 2013:
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Long time, no speak!
I have been super busy this past month so I didn't get the chance to respond to the chapter when I read it. But it was amazing. I really like the name Seren. But come to think of it my favorite name is Nova which also means star, so they are pretty similar.
I like Liam, he seemed really nice and he has the same name as my brother who absolutely love.
I don't know if you celebrate thanksgiving but if you do, Happy Belated Thanksgiving!
Thanks for an amazing chapter and I cannot wait for another one.
-M.G-

Author's Response: Hey,

I know! It's okay I've been pretty busy myself as well. I love the name Seren because it's pretty, Nova is such a pretty name as well!

Haha, I must be psychic lol. Liam's quite a nice character to write especially as he's trying his hardest to not turn out like his father, Blaise.

I don't but thank you anyway! And Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you (I';m assuming you celebrate it :p ) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance.

Next chapter most probably won't be until after Christmas due to the holiday queue closure.

Thank you as always for R+R'ing! I love reading them!

Much love,
-Potterfan310
Soph x


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Review #2, by Silverstone Nata Chapter Fourteen

11th November 2013:
Hi! Hi! Hi!
A MONTH!
It's not long before the baby comes, I can not wait!
It's so sweet how Sandra is helping Molly and pretty much being a mother to her. I don't know it's just so cute, it's way better that how Audrey was being.
I hope that Audrey sees she was in the wrong and will be nicer to Molly. That's just a terrible way of treating someone , not to mention her own flesh and blood.
I've always loved weddings, my family is pretty huge so we have a lot. But they are always fun, and reading this chapter reminded me of my favorite memory which was at a wedding.
I totally feel Molly, except I am excited to see my bed every day, but toy know.
Thank you again for such an amazing chapter. I can not Waite for the next update , I am so excited! It's almost time for the baby to come.
Bye! Bye! Bye!

-M.G.-

Author's Response: Hi, hi, hi!

A month, I know!

Definitely not long at all, and a lot certainly happens between now and then.

I loved writing the scene between Sandra and Molly especially as it's so sweet. Molly certainly considers Sandra her mother rather than Audrey.

Who knows whether Audrey will come round, maybe she will or maybe she won't (mwhahaha).

I love weddings, I have a fairly big family although it has been a while since someone got married (Shame really, I need a good wedding to go to :p)

I know, I'm always excited to see my bed at the end of the day!! Nothing like your own bed.

Once UP has been updated I'll most probably put the next chapter in the queue so look out!

Thank you once again for your amazing reviews!

-Potterfan310
Soph :D


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Review #3, by Silverstone Nata Chapter Thirteen

8th November 2013:
Hi! Hi! Hi!
I have been 'UBER BUSY' these last couple of weeks, its seems as if every teacher I have is having a competition on how much homework they give out. So I have not been able to read or look for updates in a while. But alas when I return, not only one but two more chapters await for me.
This chapter was good and i might have shed a little tear when she was leaving Hogwarts, but Shh! We wont tell anyone about that.
The truth comes out, Percy knows! Wonder how he is really taking it? I mean its not everyday you are given the news that your wife had a child that she put up for adoption before the marriage. I would flip out if i found that out too, but what you going todo? Granted that that is more than likely not going to happen, but yeah.
So anyways, i am going to go on ahead and ready the next chapter because quite frankly i am such a little girl that i am jumping up and down with joy. Yep, a person of my age acting like a 3 year old, imagine that.
I would ask for you to update soon, but you already did. So i am going to shower your with my thanks. So thank you for a super, wonderful, amazing, awesome, insane, fantastic, epic, lovely chapter. (not sure wear i was going with lovely but you know)
So I think this is my time to say goodbye! (don't worry i am not talking about dying) So...
BYE! BYE! BYE!
-M.G.-

PS: i am more than likely to leave a review for the next chapter, i just don';t know when because i might go to sleep after this because i am pooped out, but it could be within the same day.

Author's Response: Heya sweetie!

Homework is a nightmare I know!

I know, I did as well. I felt so bad for her having to leave. Especially as she has all those memories.

I know, Percy is more than likely sitting in his office at work dreading going home and busying himself with work, work and more work.

Hehe, jump all you like. In fact I'll join in :p

Thank you my fabulous 'giving me the muse to keep writing this story' person!!!

I shall see you soon :)

Much Love,
Potterfan310
Soph :D X

P.s That's fine, I hope you enjoy it there's a certain scene which I absolutely love so I hope you do to!! :)


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Review #4, by Silverstone Nata Chapter Twelve

14th October 2013:
HI! Hi! Hi!
10 weeks left! if you really look at it thats not that much! I cant wait till her baby his born. I just don't think its fair that she has to leave Hogwarts so soon. I'm sure they could send her to St. Mungos or something before she gives birth, so she will therefore complete her schooling.
I am happy in a way that Kyle was mentioned in this chapter. i almost forgot about him. I personally enjoyed how she kept on leaving voicemails just to get her point across. I hoop there will be some more interactions with him soon.
I can officially say that tears were in my eyes at the end of the chapter. But i am really emotional so for me thats expected. But hey, this chapter was a really good chapter. I just cant believe she is leaving Hogwarts when she just got there. And.. Yay!! we will be able to meet Maxine, i cant wait!!
Thanks for yet another amazing chapter! It was really good. Please update as soon as you can, but no rush! But thank you so much anyway!
Oh, and Happy-Late-Birthday!
Till next time...
-M.G.-

Author's Response: Hiya my dear :)

I know, not long now!!

I know, it's not fair but there's a lot of drama and stuff happening. But as Mcgonagall said it's for the best.

Oh Kyle, haha he's not forgotten don't you worry, he does make a re-appearance soon. Well Molly is one to get her point across and she has all this anger at the moment towards Kyle, so it was bound to come out at some point. Yep there are more interactions between them coming up!!

So sad, I totally feel bad for Molly and I was the one writing it, lol. Yes we meet Maxine, although not for a little while yet.

Thanks again as always for reading and reviewing sweetie :D Next chapter is in the queue and at the moment as it stands it's two hours so keep an eye out over the next couple of hours!!

Thank you!!

-Potterfan310
Soph :)



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Review #5, by looneylizzie Chapter Eleven

11th October 2013:
Oh geez, Audrey is a horrible mother, even knowing some of her past. Just because she feels differently doesn't mean she can't just support Molly. I want to punch her in the face. Except, that might break my computer since these are fictional characters. Dangit!

Anyway, keep writing 'cause I can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Audrey is a piece of work isn't she? She isn't my favourite person in the story at all.

Haha, go ahead, it might knock some sense into her.

Thanks for R+R'ing!!

Once My new one-shot is up I shall be putting chapter 13 in the queue!

-Potterfan310


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Review #6, by Silverstone Nata Chapter Eleven

3rd October 2013:
HI! Hi! HI!
I was looking at the 'recently added' stories and this was at the top, I looked at how much chapters it had said. ANd.. I kid you not! I freaked out. I was so happy! But I had to go somewhere so I didn't get to read the chapter right away , so I wasn't to happy about that. But my life has been super busy the last few days. Now, I finally ready it and I am super-duper-uber happy/excited right now!
I am super happy she is at Hogwarts again, it has felt like forever since she has been there. But is till cant believe what her mother did, or why she would do something like that. Not only that, but keep it a secret from her own flesh and blood.
I am however happy that her aunt has found contact with Molly's half-sister MAxine. Please tell me she will be introduced into the story; that would be super-mega-awesomeness!
Thanks for another amazing chapter, i cannot wait un-till the next chapter. She gets to pick the baby name, EPP! I cant wait! But now i am curious as to who she is saying goodbye too! Guess ill have to wait. Thank you for updating, i mean thank you so much for updating. it must be hard because you got so many other stories going on, but thank you anyway.
Bye! Bye! Bye!
-MG-

Author's Response: Hello dearie!!

Sorry I'm late replying, been a busy week as it was my birthday so I was celebrating and then there was a problem with responding to reviews.

Twelve chapters I know! I regularly freak out when I realise I've nearly completed writing it.

Haha I know, it feels like ages that she hasn't been there as well. But how long for???

Audrey is complex, well in my mind she is and she was determined to get a good education and job and then bam she got pregnant. Unlike Molly she thought of it as a bad thing as it stopped her doing what she wanted whereas with Molly it made her see sense and that she had to change.

I can reveal that Maxine is in the story, so yay!!

After UP has been updated and I've put up a new-one shot I shall be putting chapter thirteen in the queue, hopefully :)

Any thoughts on a baby name?? All will be revealed I promise :)

Well at the moment it isn't that bad as I've lost my muse for everything except this and UP so it's just a case of picking which to update lol.

Thanks again sweetie for reading and reviewing!! Your reviews always make me happy :D

Much love,
-Potterfan310
Soph xx


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Review #7, by dtinch Chapter Eleven

2nd October 2013:
like this story cant wait until the end would like to finally see how this story plays out maybe even read more of your work.

Author's Response: Hi there,

Thanks I think?

Thank you for R+R'ing!!

-Pottefan310


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Review #8, by Silverstone Nata Chapter Ten

18th September 2013:
I am speechless! I have no words! How can her mother, HER MOTHER, do such a thing?! So what she has had a traumatic past, there is no need to trick your daughter into killing her baby that isn't even born! On top of that how can she just kick her out? That woman has issues that really need to be solved.
Anyway, Europe was good! I had an amazing time! It was really fun , but I am happy to be home.
The chapter is really good, apart from Audrey's little tantrum episode. Although I do have to say that it does bring a whole lot of drama into the story, so in other words in makes the story more interesting. I love it! Now I really am excited for more! I can't wait to see what happens next!
I am glad you have almost finished writing all the chapters, and 29 chapters is a lot so that's allways good.
I am literally like a little kid, just about every day I look for updates on your stories or see if you have answered my reviews. Basically it makes my day when authors like you respond to me, let a lone mention my name in the beging of the story. That especially made my day. Thank you! You are seriously like one of my favorite authors on this site. Thank you so much for continuing the story, and updating. I cannot wait till the new chapters start rolling out. Thank you! :)
!TILL NEXT TIME!
-MG-

Author's Response: I guess you could say traumatic or you could say history repeating itself...

Audrey really is horrid isn't she and she really does have issues.

Lot's of drama so yay!

I know 29 is a lot and that's including an epilogue at the end.

I love seeing author's responses which is why I'm normally pretty quick at answering but what with laptop troubles it's been hard.

I cannot state how much thank I owe you because otherwise it would have stayed abandoned and I wouldn't have carried on writing it. So THANK YOU!!!

-Potterfan310
Soph :)



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Review #9, by Silverstone Nata Prolouge

9th September 2013:
Hi! Hi! Hi!
I am glad you have a plan figured out, I can't wait till you begin to update new chapters, but the story is looking super amazing, like Super Bowl Amazing! Ok, bringing my brain back to the present. I definitely notice the changes you have done, and your grammar and spelling is looking super fantastic! I poster my last review, right before I left for Europe! My grandmother took me on a trip around Europe for the month of August and made me leave my pal Tappy here (my laptop, don't judge, I gave it a name) and my iPad at home. So I haven't really been in touch, I had my phone and occasional technology that I could use but it was difficult. So when I got back I had to start school after everybody else was already there for month. It was worth it though. I have been super busy , so I finally got free time off I decided to read this story again like you suggested. I can't wait it's like the fire I had for this story has kindled agin but into something bigger. I am enjoying it! Thanks so much again for continuing this story, you are doing an amazing job! Keep up the awesome work! :)
-MG-
(I just realized something, looking at my previously reviews, I have changed, WIERD!)
Yep, well. Good bye (don't worry not forever)

Author's Response: Hello my dear!!

There is a new chapter for this, Chapter Ten (11) and I have a feeling you may really dislike Audrey.

Did you have a good time in Europe?

I literally love you!! my fire has also rekindled and I've nearly finished writing it, only a few more chapters to go and it'll be done but in total there are 29 chapters!!!

Thank you so much!!
-Potterfan310
Soph xx :D


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Review #10, by Silverstone Nata Chapter Nine

22nd July 2013:
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
I was so sad that this story was abandoned, I really love it. I even did an earlier post because I really wanted this story to go on. Now it is, I am super excited. Thank you!

Author's Response: No, THANK YOU!!!

I'm glad you reviewed because now I've completed a plan and I know I can finish it now. There will be 28 including an epilogue, and I'm currently writing chapter 18. I don't think there will be a sequel, maybe just a collection of one-shots but who knows things may change.

I'm doing edits on the first 10 chapters (which you may want to re-read) as I've changed little things to do with the story/characters. I'm also adding chapter images thanks to the wonderful artists over at TDA.

As soon as all the edits are done I'll be putting chapter 11 in queue. Keep up to date on stuff on my blog (link in author's page) there'll be updates on there about this as well as things relating to the characters and the story.

Thank you once again!

-Potterfan310
Soph xx :D


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Review #11, by marauderfan Prolouge

19th July 2013:
Hello, here with your requested review from the forums.

I think the way you've written Molly and Lucy's interactions are good, Lucy being the tattling younger sibling, and Molly being the moody older one. Molly's faults are evident already - I thought it was funny how she considers herself out of her "rebellious" phase but she's clearly not! She's such a grumpy teenager :P But of course, she doesn't see herself that way. So I think you did that well.

One thing I think you could to improve the writing would be to show rather than tell. What I mean by that is you kind of dump information on the reader, as Molly tells about her personality, her family, etc., but a more effective way of getting a character's personality across is to show it through their actions and what they say, rather than just what they narrate about themselves. Sometimes this means it takes longer to establish characterization, but it makes it an easier read for the first chapter and overall the reader gets a better picture of the character.

For example in one of the paragraphs Molly says: "She and Lucy are so alike, it's like Lucy is her twin. Me, well I have different personalities to everyone in my house. I am loud, energetic and outgoing. Basically, I clash with her. She's all neat and tidy (I think OCD since she cleans things at least five times) and I'm messy. My room looks like a bomb has exploded in here."

You've showed that they clash, but maybe instead of just telling the reader that Audrey likes to clean, show Audreys frustration when bacon grease spatters on the stove, or when she sees books/magazines/rubbish on Molly's floor as she goes to wake Molly up.

You also tend to switch tenses sometimes (and I don't mean just the flashback, because I know that's earlier, but at other points in the main narrative). It seems that you're using past mostly, but it hops into present tense a few times - so you might want to clear that up so it's all in past tense.

I hope this CC didn't come across as too harsh, I really am not trying to be mean! I think you've got a good start, keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hello,

I'm glad you like Molly and Lucy and they're relationship which changes over the course of the story.

Guilty of that on several accounts. The first version of this chapter was very much like that. I'll be sure to show it rather than state it. Again I'm guilty of that as well, I think it's because I sometimes get distracted by what is actually happening around me which is why it jumps.

Certainly not harsh as I miss those things when writing, so it's good for other eyes to spot them when I don't.

Thank you and I'll take on board you're CC!!

-Potterfan310
Soph :)


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Review #12, by Dahlia Bailey Chapter Nine

29th June 2013:
This is really good can't wait until the next chapter. Although you should have someone proof read you chapters before you post them. But other than that Good Job!

Dahlia XD

Author's Response: Hey,

This story needed editing badly and I did abandon this for a few weeks until I had a review which got me inspired again.

I've re-written the chapters and I'm waiting to get a new banner and some CI's before I edit each chapter and add the next chapter. So it may be a while.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!!

-Potterfan310
Soph :)


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Review #13, by Silverstone Nata Chapter Nine

17th June 2013:
Why did you abandon this storie? It's one of my favorites of yours, next to Unexpected Parenthood and Lily Luna Potter and my Teenage Confessions. Can you please continue it!?!?
It would mean the world to me, I know your probably not even going together this post. But if you do can you please consider continuing it. And if not at least reel me the name of the baby. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

Author's Response: Hey,

Sorry it's took me so long to get back to you. I only just noticed this had one more review, so sorry.

I hated to abandoned this but I lost my muse and all ideas for it, as well as it needs to be edited badly. And I thought everyone who read it had just given up.

I doubt I will leave it abandoned though because I love the characters in this, especially Molly, Lauren and Dom. I will mange to finish it eventually, don't you worry.

Spoilers sweetie, I mean it won't be a surprise then. But hopefully once I finish UP, and get started on LLPAMTC again I will start writing this again. Although after reading this I may start editing and try to write more for this in the summer.

Look out for updates about it on my blog (link is on my author's page) as well as other stuff about this and my other stories.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

-Potterfan310
Soph :)


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Review #14, by morgankaye Chapter Two

1st November 2012:
grammar again. maybe have someone proof read these?

Author's Response: They've been beta'd and I will check them again. Thanks again x
-Potterfan310


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Review #15, by morgankaye Chapter One

1st November 2012:
once again with the grammar... and some wording issues. i saw 'done' used where 'down' should have been

Author's Response: Thanks, these have been beta'd, but I will deffianlt go back over and re-read them.
-potterfan310


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Review #16, by morgankaye Prolouge

1st November 2012:
It has a pretty good plot so far, however, I do believe that some grammar could be fixed. The sentences are kind of choppy; it would greatly improve the quality of the writing.

Author's Response: Hiya, thanks for reviewing :D
I know the grammar needs imporving and when I get the time I'm gonna go over each chapter.

Thanks again x
-Potterfan310


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Review #17, by Jchrissy Prolouge

13th June 2012:
Okay, I LOVE that you are really trying to give us an idea of Molly's life, it's great that you want your readers to have a wealth of information! But, I have to be honest, you're drowning me in it. This seems like a story you are invested in, so please take my CC as real attempts to help!

I just read your prologue so many times, and still, I find myself completely lost. There are too many facts tossed at me and not enough formatting to help me keep them straight, does that make sense?

It's really wonderful that you have your characters mapped out, but one of the great things about reading is getting to discover information m bit by bit, and to read between the lines, and so on.

You wanted to convey to us that Molly and her mother don't get along somewhere in there, right? You could have had Audry come to her room only to have Molly slam the door on her, maybe Audry sent an owl and Molly ripped up the letter, things like that to show us their relationship is suffering as opposed to just saying it.

I'm also having a hard time figuring out if Audry hates Molly's friends for certain reasons or because they are muggles. Remember, Audry is the wife of a man who lost parts of his family to a war started because of hatred for muggles. I highly doubt his wife would share any of those similar thoughts. But it may just be her friends she hates, and not the fact that their muggles. I'll have to read to find out :)!

Author's Response: Heya,
I know it is a bit much, but once summer comes I plan on re-writing this chapter where molly and her mum are arguing about her friends staying over with some other stuff as well.

Audrey hates her friends not because their muggle (becuase she is), but because she clases herself as 1st class as they live in a good area and Percy has a very good job. She thinks they are '3rd class' becuase they live on the estate that has a very bad reputation like knife crime, drugs etc...

hope this explains a few things and thanks for the advice :D
-Potterfan310


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Review #18, by Ron 4 Hermione Chapter Five

8th June 2012:
Good chapter :) I might have to try stuffcream :D
Just one tip for improvement:
- Full stops and capital letters.
"awww" she squealed "too cute" She went to pass it back to me.".
"when I entered She"
Just the little things :)
Great plot line and the characters are consistent to which is good 9/10 ( and I've added it to my favourites :D )

Author's Response: Lol :D never tried it myself but I must say skips and ice-cream is nice
Thanks again for all the reviews :D

WOOHOO :D Thanks
-potterfan310


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Review #19, by Ron 4 Hermione Chapter Four

5th June 2012:
A good chapter, I like how her sister is there for her even though they weren't that close!
A few tips for improvements:
- Capital letters, an I on its own should be a capital I not a lowercase I. People's names should all start with a capital letter "moll" should be "Moll".
-The structure of the paragraphs- "miss you too mol,bye. (new paragraph) I chucked my phone onto my bedside table..." This could all be one paragraph.
Having a better on the first two chapters seemed to help so it might be a suggestion to get another one. If you would like I would be your beta-just PM me :)
Hope this helps and it is really a great story! 9/10

Author's Response: Thanks for the offer :) and advice
-potterfan310


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Review #20, by Ron 4 Hermione Chapter Three

5th June 2012:
Interesting chapter- I like how she is worrying about telling her friends and not just her family and her boyfriend which is normally the case.
A few tips to help you:
- Capital letters, an I on its own should be a capital I not a lowercase I. People's names and titles should all start with a capital letter "miss Weasley" should be "Miss Weasley" and "rose" should be "Rose".
-The general layout needs adjusting, you don't need to start a new paragraph after people have spoken if the next part is just narrative.
Not a bad chapter 9/10 :)

Author's Response: Molly becomes a worrier, worrying how people will react and what they will say and do. Will they accept her as pregnant or will they shun her from their lives.

Thanks for the tips :)
-potterfan310


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Review #21, by Ron 4 Hermione Chapter Two

5th June 2012:
A good chapter, very realistic which is always a good thing!
A few tips to improve:
-There are a couple of capital letter issues, you don't need a capital letter after a comma- "I knew it, Aww Molly's" the Aww just need's to be aww.
-Missing small words - "I will find baby's heartbeat" I think it would flow better if it was "I will find the baby's heartbeat"
Another great chapter- 9/10 :)

Author's Response: Thanks Again and It's being edited as we speak.

:D
-potterfan310


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Review #22, by Ron 4 Hermione Chapter One

5th June 2012:
Another good chapter! It's interesting finding out about her muggle friends and wizard family.
Just one thing tip for improvememnt:
- Tense change "There is now a cold breeze running through my room, so I pulled my quilt back up only for her to come over" I think it would make more sense if it was "There was now a cold breeze..." just to make it flow better.
All in all a good chapter - 9/10 :)

Author's Response: Thanks :D
It's currently re waiting validation as it has been Beta'd and edited

-potterfan310


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Review #23, by Ron 4 Hermione Prolouge

5th June 2012:
This chapter is good, it's sets the scene nicely.
There are a few suggestions I have to improve it:
-The description is good and it's nicely detailed but I think some bits could flow better. For e.g; "I'm currently a seventh year at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry" The information is good I just think it would flow better if it went something like -I'm currently in my seventh year at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry.
-Basic words missing. "I had spend my summer holiday's" I think it should be "I had to spend my summer holiday's". This will improve the flow of the story and it will make more sense.
A good first chapter though :) 9/10

Author's Response: Thanks :)

When I get round to editing I will change It, I didn't realise.
-potterfan310


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Review #24, by erinn1197 Chapter One

26th May 2012:
This chapter is better :) very good.
~Erinn
P.S. - I'd love to beta your other story. Just email them to me at Erinn1197 @ yahoo . Com

Author's Response: thanks :)
and ok xx
-potterfan310


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Review #25, by erinn1197 Prolouge

25th May 2012:
I like this story :) I hope you don't mind me giving more advice. When I say slow it down, i mean dont try to write everything in one chapter. Let things flow and take time :)
~Erinn

Author's Response: thanks - advice is great :)
this chaper is being edited as it has now been beta'd. It's currently waiting for validation

-potterfan310
thanks again xx


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