Reading Reviews for Wilting
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PhoenixPulse I could never make you cry.

31st July 2012:
I cried. I cried so hard, you have no clue.

I love the way you written James' point of view, by the way. So many people write him as a loud, arrogant, funny character. But your James...your James has a more sensitive, quiet side, and I love this James. I wish people wrote James like this more often.

The way he reminiced about Lily and the good times was really touching, and heart melting. It makes me think that I myself should treasure my own sibilings, no matter how deep they dig under my skin. I mean, I do--but sometimes it takes a well written story to remind people of morality.

And the part about the dead lilies in the garden? That tore me inside because of the irony. (Isn't it irony, I think so?)

Overall, this was a great read, and it's going onto my favorites because it just touched me so much (did that come out odd?).

Thank you so much for this. It makes such a great read. It's so emotional, especially the ending. Great job!

Author's Response: thank you so much! I'm so glad it touched you (haha hope that didn't sound weird either).

I really wanted to give James a different side in this story because most people do write him as obnoxious and overly manly etc. Eveen if he was an arrogant person i think he would've had a sensitive side reserved for his own sister.

aha yes we should all treasure our siblings! Although it's really hard when little sisters can slightly pesky coughcoughtotallynotspeakingfromexperiencecough

Yep I think it would be called irony or an analogy :)

Thank you so so much for reading, favourite-ing and reviewing!







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Review #2, by :) I could never make you cry.

11th June 2012:
This brought me to tears. loved it x

Author's Response: awrh thank you for taking the time to r & r

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Review #3, by sayxwhat I could never make you cry.

15th April 2012:
Um, holy crap. I haven't reviewed a story in a while, but this literally got me emotional. Great job.

Author's Response: Thanks you. That's a really big compliment for me and i appreciate it :) Hope you didn't get to sad/depressed!

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Review #4, by Godrics_Helm I could never make you cry.

9th April 2012:
What an incredible, but sad, story! I loved your writing style and I loved how the story was told through James's eyes. It gave the story a real, authentic feel to it!

10/10

Author's Response: Thanks you so much. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Haha, yes it turned out to be very depressing.

I wanted to tell it from James' POV to show the strong sibling relationship i imagine the Potter's to have. I wanted to convey all the emotions he felt for his sister. I'm glad you thought it worked out!

Thanks for taking the time to drop a lovely review :)


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Review #5, by justonemorefic I could never make you cry.

3rd April 2012:
I think you've got some really beautiful description, and I really quite like how you described toddler Lily, with her narrow eyes and plaited hair and freckled knees. I found it a little wordy in some places, like there were excess adjectives. Because of the way the oneshot is told, I think this is one of those kinds of pieces where every word counts. Like some parts, you use what I think are weaker adjectives like in "various cousins". Various is kind of a drab word. Or when you describe her as a sunrise, you use a lot of adjectives but I think just narrowing it down into a few would be better.

When I read about James' darkest hour, I think it would be stronger if I had more background on that, because at the moment, it seems out of place. I like your part on Albus's sorting into Slytherin - that's a good one.

Couple of grammar things:
-birthdays should be birthdays
-I found a lot of commas in the wrong places though I am terrible with the commas myself. For example, "I want you to remember that every time it came to blowing the flames off the candles on my chocolate cake you would quickly intervene, and blow them for me." ought to be, I think "I want you to remember that every time it came to blowing the flames off the candles on my chocolate cake, you would quickly intervene and blow them for me." Also check for sentences like these because they're potentially confusing. You've got a lot of prepositions and connecting phrasings. To's and that's and off and on.

I've got to dash, but I think this is a good piece; don't get discouraged by my critiques! I love reading about how James views his siblings. I think cleaning it up will make those moments stronger :)

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to read and review!

No, no it's great. I like learning how to improve. I'll defintely take all you've said on board and edit this when i get a chance.

I'm not discouraged at all. I'm more encouraged to improve :D Thanks for noting down these things and i'm glad you liked it!


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Review #6, by Jess the Enthusiast I could never make you cry.

3rd April 2012:
That was so great - very emotional and touching. Bravo to you!

10/10 :D

Author's Response: Thanks you Jess :)! HEHE im so happy you enjoyed it and liked the metaphor. i also feel quite happy with it as it's one of my better pieces of writing. Haha i hope you didn't have to listen to too much sad music in your locked away room?

Again, thanks a million!


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Review #7, by house elf I could never make you cry.

3rd April 2012:
This is so beautifully written, not to mention upsetting. Luckily I managed not to cry, as my parents were in the room... that would have been awkward.

11/10 :D

Author's Response: oh wow , yes that would've been awkward. I often break out crying and my mum gives me a look that screams: "oh god please someone stop the crazy female offspring from crying."

But thank you so much for reviewing, the rating and being so lovely! i do hope you weren't very upset though


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Review #8, by liltinglight I could never make you cry.

3rd April 2012:
James couldn't make Lily cry, but HE FLIPPING MADE ME CRY! :(

Honestly, this was beautiful beautiful piece. Your writing is poetic and very moving. I just... wow... this was incredible.

I haven't read a lot of angst because I'm so darn emotional :P but this was enjoyable even though it did make me tear up. I adored your word choices throughout the piece.

Sorry I don't have an alternate adjective to describe it but this was /such/ beautiful writing. :)

10/10

Author's Response: HAHAH NO DON'T CRY! Wow thank you so much. really i appreciate it so much! So glad you enjoyed it and i can totally relate to you!

I CRY AT FLIPPIN' EVERYTHING!:D

i'm so happy i moved you and you think im poetic. in honesty i can't write a poem to save my life! hahaha.

thank so much for taking the time to r&r it means the world


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Review #9, by GracelesslyFalling I could never make you cry.

3rd April 2012:
This made me cry. It was so beuatiful and sad, because James' feelings are so raw and real, and I want to cuddle and make him stop crying, and he said she wilted and died, and this is so perfect because of all these wonderfullly sad analogies, and this is perfect and wonderful, and so well written.

I love how you captured his frustration over her and his need to protect her, and i feel like if this ever happened it would be any older brother's reaction, and it's just so perfect.

You did such a fantastic job with this. I mean some parts of it are just so sad, and perfect and just /right/ you know? Great job with this. You have such a talent for channeling such deeo emotions, Im green with envy, aha.

Wonderful, wonderful job my dear. This is great.

-izzy xoxo

Author's Response: Awrh Izzy thank you so much!

Oh wow i'm overwhelmed. I'm so happy like i'm grinning from ear to ear. Thank you for all these compliments!

James accepts your cuddles so happily. I'm really happy that emotions were easy to understand and you feel they were raw:)

Ha me and my sad anaolgies. I spend all day coming up with them in all my sadness.

You have no need to be envious. You're a fabbymondo writer yourself! I've seen it meself ;)

Wow thanks again for all the loveliness deary. i'm like speechless


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Review #10, by Star_Kid_Love I could never make you cry.

3rd April 2012:
*Breaks down into a pile on my bedroom floor*

This was beautiful. I'm not ashamed to say I cried. I look like a mess right now but it was, WOW.

You perfectly nailed the emotion in the fic and I love how you've left it up for interpretation as to whether Lily is alive or not. The way I read it she had died and James was re-living the memories as the emotions you showed really hit home to me.

My older sister died a few years ago and I can fully relate to how James is feeling. The pain never really goes away, you just learn to live with it.

This writing was beautiful and incredible and I'm in awe of you.

Rach xx

Author's Response: *picks you up from the bedroom floor*

WOW that reaction is well the best any author can hope for. (as mean as that sounds :).

I've recently lost my grandad and i sort of had a lot of emotions swimming around. I totally agree. The pain never goes it simply lingers and you learn to bear it.

However i've never lost a sibling, i sort of imagined it the feeling. Im so sorry to hear about your elder sister, i'm happy to know you could relate to James :)

Yes i wanted to leave it to your interpretation. I love the way you read it though. I never really thought of it like that :')

NO NEED TO BE IN AWE. your writing is gold okay? i cry all the time at your writing!

Thanks doesn't begin to cover it!


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Review #11, by RavenclawWayToBe I could never make you cry.

24th March 2012:
Wow, this story was so wonderfully written, and even that cannot describe. I was actually at a loss of words trying to write this, i found it so emotional and beautiful but at the same time so heart breaking and.. well it was just perfect. I read the summary and right away i was hooked, seeing as i am a sucker for these emotional types of stories i knew i just had to read it. I loved how you transitioned the writing to show change over time, and i loved that you wrote it as a letter from James to Lily. I have a brother and i love him very much, and that just made me that much more emotional over your story. Everything about it was perfect to me, and you shouldn't be unsure about it. It was amazing. Phenomenal . I can only imagine the emotional turmoil that James would be going through, and i really did feel for James. I actually cried. Yes, i did, and i am proud of it. This piece was just... well. wow. I guess it really makes you appreciate the moments you have before they're gone. Everything about this story just touched my heart. I loved the wording you used to describe his emotion, i loved that you compared her to a wilting flower. Everything was just amazing. I could go on for days, just talking about this story and the message it conveyed to me. Sorry, I know I sound kind of creepy but I think this was SO GREAT and you deserve to know!
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: WOW IS SAW THIS REVEIW AND I HAD LIKE A FIT OF HAPPINESS!

Thank you sososososo much for loving this and thinking it's perfect. You have no idea how much this means to me! :)

Haha yeah i'm also sucked in by the emotional stories with short summarys!

Wow thanks! I don't have a brother myself so when i was writing from James' POV i was simply guessing how he would feel. I do however have a little sister and i understand the feeling of hating your sibling ( i'm always left to look after her) but at the same time you worry constantly about them, and i would NEVER want anything to happen to her :)

AHMAGAWD. wow don't be ashamed yes be prooud sista ;). I've cried at so many fics it's unreal (i'm a closet emotional sap).

Recently my grandfather passed away due to unnatural circumstances. He passed in Feburary and the last time i saw him was in Augast. As it was i never got to see him much (we live in different continents) and i really do appreciate all the moments i had with him before he went.

Yeah the wilting flower idea just came to me and i was like "ah sounds good". I'm really glad you liked it :)

Okay i could go on for days ranting about how happy this reveiw has made me. I was unsure about this fic because i've never really attempted angst (apart from Spinners End my other one-shot, that hasn't received many reveiws either).

But your reveiw has made me feel really happy about my writing!

THANKS YOU TIMES INFINITY! :)

p.s this is random but sorry if my review had weird symbols in it. my laptops screwed up :(


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Review #12, by bester_jester I could never make you cry.

20th March 2012:
This is absolutely stunning. I love it so much. Did Lily die, or did she only die metaphorically to James.

Beautiful work

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm very happy you enjoyed it.

Aha i think the peice is up to your own interpretation. Do you think Lily actually died or was it metaphorically to James?

Quite a lot suggests that it was only metaphorically. For example:

"He asked me why I kept using “were” and “was”. “After all, she’s not gone yet”, he said.

But that's the thing Lily.
You’re gone now.
You’re dead to me."

This implies that Lily hasn't actually died as Harry is asking James why he's reffering to her in past tense when she's not "gone". James then tells Lily that in his eyes she has died.

But on the other hand:

"Yesterday they finally submitted you to the people hospital. You’re not paralysed or ill and you haven’t broken any bones. You haven’t got spattergroit, or the flu, in fact you’re body’s perfectly fine- albeit too skinny.

It’s your mind that’s the problem.

It’s sick, sick, sick."

This part of the piece tells you that Lily has been submitted to "the people's hosiptal" and that her mind is sick.

Maybe Lily is only dead to james because she's a completely different person. Or maybe it's because he'll never see her again. Perhaps Lily has actually died?

As you can see i have no idea myself. I'm trying to analyse my own writing :D

I hope this helped you in making your mind up but it probably just REALLY confused you.

Thanks a million for the lovely reveiw ♥♥♥


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