This chapter is more interesting and contained more detail. But still lacks some depth. You should read more of the stories on the archive to see how a lot of people have put description into their stories. It is a good guide for new authors to follow.
You mention in your last chapter that Ginny had a one year old called James and was pregnant with a second child. James is the eldest child, and since he's only one year old Albus and Lily are not born yet. So Lily can't be in first year. Watch what your doing in places like that. Details like that could make or break a story.
If your active on the forums, there is a section where you can get a beta. As I said they will only be to glad to help with your story.
Anyway holding at 8/10. I would like to read more so adding to favourite story so I know when you update. Report Review
You have what looks like an interesting story started.
It's almost like reading about the gathering of the DA at a reunion.
I agree with your last reviewer about the plot looking good but in a way lacks some depth.
I saw that you said that your from France so English might be differcult for you to write since it's not your first language.
I also agree that you should get yourself a beta (someone who looks over your story and helps with grammer and spelling and so on) maybe you should take them up on their offer.
Anyway must move on. So 8/10 and onto the next chapter. Report Review
Your English is not the best but the story has a good plot set out. Maybe you should get a Beta. I would be happy to. I'm excited to see where this goes.Author's Response: Thanks, I know my english isn't the best since I am not from any english countries. I am from France. I should thank my best friend for the plot.
Thanks though for my first review ever. Report Review
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