Reading Reviews for Coco
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Live Life Large The Pre-Chocolate Era

26th July 2012:
Hey there! First off, let me say that starting a marauders fic is one of the best things a person can do; trust me, I know. They're just generally amazing!

Just like yours(; I really enjoyed reading this, and I found your "10 days pass" marker to be incredibly amusing. Whoever said you can't be funny when talking about time?

When you said, "...expects everyone to just bow down to sir BragsALot!!" I was like, "Sherlock!" I don't know if you've ever seen that show, but one of the characters describes another similarly. Needless to say, I found that awesome.

Keep up the good writing! It was really enjoyable(:

LLL(:

Author's Response: Time is very humoristic! xD Glad you liked it!^^ Haha and I'd totally forgotten that line, I very much like it lol :P I know the show, but I've never really watched it :) Glad you liked it! xD I have to get back to writing this, I'd forgotten how much I liked my Lily from this^^

thanks for the review!^^

xx

-June


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Review #2, by ariellem The Pre-Chocolate Era

15th June 2012:
Okay, so I did like this story, I definitively smiled at quite a few parts. However your lingo for Lily and James isn't really what English kids in the seventies would say, you know? Just thought I'd point that out. However her friend was very funny, kind of reminded me a bit of wiccan you know?

Author's Response: humm, I think you've made an interesting point on Lily and James' speech. I'll try and make a little more research and edit it :) Haha Emmeline? Yeah kinda ;) I'm a wiccan and I guess our religious beliefs are similar :P

Thanks for reviewing!^^

xx

-June


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Review #3, by Owlpost68 The Pre-Chocolate Era

3rd June 2012:
I really like the relationship between her and Emily, and the little background of her having been/is a pickpocket. It was a little confusing about her and James since he was still going back and forth between being a little mature, and being a prat and unrealistic lol. I thought it was also kind of interesting about all the detail that would need to go in setting up a Hogsmeade trip, I hadn't thought of it before. I do think it was better having had focus on the chocolate, you did really well at that part because it ended up relating to a key point in a character. I think you could do that with Her and James as well, and then the theme of bringing chocolate into the story would be kept.
Fun story :)

Author's Response: Haha Yeah James is in that funny stade of his life where he kinda tries to be a little more mature, but can't help but being a little praty-stupid-immature-normal-teenage-boy ;) And Lily's a bit of a control freak so yeah... :P

Oh and that wasn't even where the chocolate is important... There's a significant, chocolate-related event that'll send everything spiralling down in a humongeous butterfly-effect tornado ;)

Thanks for reviewing!! :D I really appreciate it!! :)

xx

-June


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Review #4, by Ravenclaw_Charm The Pre-Chocolate Era

19th March 2012:
Cute! Excellent chapter to start off with! ;D Lily's attitude is awesome, love it! Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!^^ I'm glad you liked it!! :D

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Review #5, by ScorpiusRose17 The Pre-Chocolate Era

18th March 2012:
This was really great for a first time Marauder story. I think you did a great job characterizing Lily. She can be quite tough at times to get to come across just right, but I think you did a terrific job. James was stupendous...all you need is him to run his arrogant mouth around Lily and he's as good as gold. Although, you did play into that mystery of him actually having the not so over inflated head to. He has a sweet side it's just usually missing because of all the trouble he's off causing with Sirius and the other Marauders.

I also really liked Lily's friend Emmeline. She's original and vivid. I like how she has her own personal background that isn't so great it kind of tames Lily's saint like behaviour that you see in other Marauder stories.

The one thing that I thought could have been better was the spacing issue. I know how frustrating it can be when your story ends up with so much spacing between the lines and paragraphs. Mine do the samething a lot of the time.

Overall, I thought this was fantastic and I hope you continue it as I would like to see where this can lead. I really enjoyed your writing.

Keep up the great work! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Thank you!!^^ I'm really happy you liked it, since i really wasn't sure about this. :) I've always wanted to write marauders but never thought I'd have the patience for Lily/James xD We shall see! I'm so glad you like Emmeline!! She's my favorite OC in the ones I wrote^^

Yeah I know about the space-thing. I edited it yesterday to fix that (and add a chapter image ;) )

Thanks again for the awesome review!!^^

-June


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Review #6, by Moonyxluna The Pre-Chocolate Era

17th March 2012:
Here it is! hopefully I remembered everything I had originally written.

First off, I just wanted to mention the banner. It's amazing! You did a fantastic job on it.

Alright, so officially first off, I loved the very first sentance of this. The way you started this with Lily cursing James. It made me laugh, and instantly brought me into her story.

The thing that I liked about this was that I was annoyed by James. So many times when I read marauders fics (which isn't nearly as much as I should) I like the personality of James, he's cute, swoon-worthy, etc. From the first bit of dialogue he had when he called Lily 'sweetheart' it made me cringe in annoyance a little. So great work on that! This sort of leads in to my next point, that I really liked what you did with Lily's personality.

One thing I'd like to know more about is how James became Head Boy. He's supposed to be this prankster, and he's cruel to Severus Snape. What happened from the mudblood-Snape-hanging-by-his-feet-incident fifth year to now that made Professor Dumbledore see enough of a 'good egg' in him to make him head boy? I hope that makes sense.

I didn't fail to notice Lily's jealousy (weather or not she'd admit it, I saw it :p ) when James asked about Emmeline. Which by the way, is an awesome oc name. I like her friend's personallity so far. I think with the bit of canon we know about Lily, Emmeline will be a good, loud balance for her.

This was a lovely start, I'm for sure looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Thanks for such an awesome review!!^^ I'm glad you liked the story (and the banner) I worked hard on both!! :D

Haha! When I first wrote that I had no idea where I was going! It just seemed like a nice way to start a story ;)

James is an idiot. But we all love him that way :P And I'm happy to see you like Lily! At first I thought I might've made her a little too outgoing. :)

As for James being Head Boy, I have a little something planned for that ;) He's not as bad as he looks...

Hehe Lily would never in fact admit to that. But you're right, she was kinda jealous ;)

Thanks again for reviewing!!^^


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