Reading Reviews for Dichotomy
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by angel_speaks Dichotomy

8th July 2012:
Hiya!
Emesias here with your requested review!

Grammar/ spelling: I think you are doing alright with this piece. There's nothing here of any concern.

Flow: The fluidity of this piece is really good. It wasn't just jumping around different images. There seemed to be a sole focus from a single perspective and I think that's the reason why it flowed so well. Maybe expanding on it just a tad bit. I felt that this piece was a bit short.

Overall, good job! I commend you for being able to construct such a piece with a limited amount of words!

Happy Writing!

Author's Response: Thank you. I will expand on it now. It was meant for the 500 word challenge but I overshot it so whatev.

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Review #2, by BlameItOnTheNargles  Dichotomy

25th April 2012:
Just wow, all this in just 500 words! I'm shocked at how amazing it is for such a small little piece and how much you have actually fitted in! :}
I haven't actually read a Snape/Lily before, but I thought I'd mix it up a little and read something new...and I'm so glad I did as this was amazing! It was so beautiful and sad in a way as we all know how his story ends D:
Beautiful piece XD

~BlameItOnTheNargles

Author's Response: I am so glad you liked this first Snape/Lily of yours. It's my first time writing them myself!

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Review #3, by igivemyselfthecreeps Dichotomy

19th April 2012:
That was...wow. I read a lot of Snape/Lily and this is definitely on my list of favourites now. I love the way you made it so poetic...and you really captured Snape's thoughts in his youth. Even though he's so tortured by the end of his life (which I think you portrayed fantastically in that last paragraph) he can still look back at that past with Lily.

So yeah. Fantastic story :)

Author's Response: Yay! :) I'm glad that the poeticness worked for you there. I'm thinking about expanding on this in the future as that last paragraph you pointed out has so many possibilities!

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Review #4, by tydemans Dichotomy

31st March 2012:
Wow, Char, this ship in 500 words.

I couldn't do it :) but you packed a lot of imagery into that small space.

Thanks for throwing the Snape/Lily challenge out there and for dueling yourself. You had quite a turnout which is excellent!

Take care!
~Ty

Author's Response: Thanks. It was a fun challenge for me and I have come to really love this ship and am glad to see how this turned out. The Duel introduced me to some lovely Snape/Lily and I'm glad I was able to read them all!

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Review #5, by AnnaKay Dichotomy

27th March 2012:
This was a really great chapter! I think you did so good on it, and I also think that it was interesting. I loved the length of it. I like shorter fics that are just as great as long ones, and I think that you did a really good job.

I do think that you captured the feelings of Snape, and the actions of Lily perfectly. Thank you very much for this nice little chapter of greatness :)

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad that it came off good even though it was short. I'm glad I was able to capture the two perfectly in your eyes!

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Review #6, by Tonks1247 Dichotomy

27th March 2012:
Oh. My. Goodness. That wasÖthat was amazing. I have no other words for it. It flowed together coherently, even with the time jumps and flashbacks and it was so poetic. I was lulled into reading it and I think it was further complimented by the length.

Another thing I rather enjoyed was the story being from Snapeís point of view. It hasnít been until recently that Iíve started to read Snape/Lily stories and this is actually the first Iíve read from Snapeís point of view, and it was justÖit was a great first story to read. It really gave an insight into Snapeís mind, and while it may be mildly OOC, I donít think itís too bad. I donít have a lot of experience, but I can see Snape being a bit gentler as a child, as to what we see in the books, so even that was of no concern.

I feel like Iíve repeated myself excessively in this review, but really this was fantastic! I loved every bit of it and am so very glad you requested me to read this! Great job!

~Grimmerz

Author's Response: Thank you so so much Grimmerz for your excessively awesome review! You helped address my concern with the flow and time jumps as well as the characterization of Snape (which I know is a little left of center than normal). I am happy to serve as the first Snape story for you! :)

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Review #7, by SexyDoorFrames Dichotomy

26th March 2012:
Hey. Wow, this was amazing. Seriously, you've wrote it so well, I adore the way you write about things, how you've captured them, your word choice is perfect because you managed to convey so much in 500 little words. You're very talented and I enjoy reading your stories every time. The last paragraph was perfect, I mean, it was so powerful, I adored it. Your descriptions are amazing, makes it come across as almost poetic. In all, I really loved this!

Author's Response: You are an extremely lovely person to have written such a wonderfully encouraging review. You basically captured what I'd hoped to accomplish with this challenge and I'm glad that I was able to stretch my boundaries within a limited frame and still be me as a writer. Thank you!

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Review #8, by forsakenphoenix Dichotomy

19th March 2012:
Oh, Char. I adore everything you write, even when the ship is not one of my favorites. I love James/Lily so I have a hard time accepting Snily, though I'm starting to be more open to reading them, and this was such a perfect example.

I love the use of light and dark in this, the contrast between day and night. I think it works perfectly for Snape and Lily.

This flows so beautifully through all the important moments of their friendship - their first meeting, when Snape realizes he's in love with her (and the imagery of her being an angel is superb) to the moment he let the darkness win and ruin their friendship. Everything is brilliantly written.

It's difficult to write a story in 500 words. You need to chose your words carefully and you've done a fantastic job here. Wonderfully done.

Author's Response: Thanks again for a wonderfully encouraging review! Looks like I have a way of getting you to see my side of shipping :)

I'm so glad that the flow is fine. This was one of my primary concerns with this. I definitely tried to tell some sort of story within the word count I was given and so am very happy it turned out fine.

xChar


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Review #9, by javct Dichotomy

19th March 2012:
Tag!
Once again, another brilliant story! As a diehard James/Lily shipper I tend to stay away form Snily but you wrote this really beautifully (i love reading unrequited love stories) and you summed up Snape's feelings in 500 words (well, technically 511.. but who's counting?) perfectly!!

jaz

Author's Response: Thank you for even looking at this if you aren't a Snape/Lily shipper :) I'm so happy you found it beautiful.

(Gosh darn my lying wordcount on Microsoft Word... gr)

xChar


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Review #10, by Roots in Water Dichotomy

18th March 2012:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

This was certainly an unusual piece, though one I definitely enjoyed! It took a moment to get used to Severus' poetic words but after I did I enjoyed the easy flow of the words.

This was an interesting look into their relationship, into the perfection Severus believes Lily is. I liked how you managed to include several key moments in their relationship: their first meeting, the moment he realized he loved her, the moment he let "Mudblood" slip past his lips... all in the span of 500 words!

As well, I think that you did a good job of controlling the pace of the story- though there were "time jumps"/"flashbacks", the transition between them wasn't awkward and made sense with the flow of the story.

Your last paragraph was definitely a change from the previous ones and I liked your poetic approach to the "Mudblood" incident in their fifth year. You managed to convey that their friendship had ended, that all of Severus' hopes and dreams of a future with Lily had died, in smooth, flowing prose.

All in all, I enjoyed reading this piece about the relationship between Severus and Lily and, as you're already aware that poetry is a little OOC for Severus, I can think of nothing else for you to improve on! This was an interesting read- thanks for requesting and I hope that my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for being so kind in this! I'm glad that the poeticnss did not throw you off to much. I'm glad that the story came off as I wanted to. I was trepidatious about the whole lyricalness so I'm glad it came off. Thank you!

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Review #11, by academica Dichotomy

18th March 2012:
Hi Char! I saw somewhere that you'd written a Snape/Lily, and as a diehard shipper, I was excited to come check it out :)

The use of light as a symbol here is just beautiful. I've always associated light with Lily as well, and so this reminds me of my own conceptualization of Severus/Lily. I find his fear that the angels might take her away to be quite realistic for his character, and I love his reflection on the fact that he hadn't anticipated how much she would mean to him at the start.

It's lovely to see him point out every part of her features, extending weight to every action, however small. It's just as poignant, however, to see him draw unwillingly from her at the end, coming to terms with his own dark nature.

Excellent! :)

Amanda
green with envy 2012

Author's Response: Thank you for coming to read this, Amanda!

I'm so happy you found the symbology beautiful. I actually focused on this sort of poetic, symbolic thing which I don't normally do and so was wary of the reception. It's very nice to see that it came across as poignant and lovely.

And all your kindness includes the fact that you are a diehard shipper so this review is even more appreciated!

(What's this "green with envy 2012" about? Or is it secret Slytherin type stuff...)

xCHar


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Review #12, by marinahill Dichotomy

18th March 2012:
Here we go again, you've written another gorgeous piece! you're churning them out like a production line and I'm not sure how you do it. But I'm envious of your muse all the same :P

I suppose you could say Snape/Lily is a guilty pleasure of mine. Perhaps that's because they're almost always angst-y and that's my favourite genre, but you certainly delivered up angst on a plate. Severus remembering the first time he realised he really loved her was beautiful. It only took something small like a smile, but he can cherish these memories of her even after things start to go pear-shaped.

I loved that last paragraph so much, it was gorgeous! It really highlighted the difference between him and Lily and the fact that he made some mistakes that led him to the wrong side and so away from her forever.

Lovely work as always!

Marina

Author's Response: MARINA! *squeezes you to bits* Thank you for reading this and saying such nice things! I seriously tried on the poetic/lyrical side of things because I feel like I NEVER do that and have been hearing nice/bad things on it which I am not used to (OK, so maybe I do need my head deflated now and then but it kind of sucks :P). So to have YOU look at this and say lovely things...you have cheered me up about this!

I am finding out for myself how addictive Snape/Lily can be - especially the very well-written kind.

xChar


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Review #13, by CloakAuror9 Dichotomy

18th March 2012:
" But silly me for thinking that light could live with dark, that day would conquer night. The never-ending circle that ruled the earth, also held me in its might. The push and pull of power and love, the heated words and callous actions, held enough sway to sunder the chain that linked us. "

That last paragraph made me tear-up. I love it. This is so heart-wrenchingly beautiful. The way you captured everything in a 500 or so words was just fantastic. The flow of the story was just fantastic, never have I seen a story with the words like they've been put there in the perfect place. Bloody amazing, I tell you.

I admit, I was never a fan of Severus/Lily (because I ship James/Lily) but every time someone would request a review for a Severus/Lily story, I know that there will be tears. I think Severus could've been a much better man, had he not hated Harry Potter so much.

Do I really have to say my rating? a billion out of ten, of course. (:

Green With Envy 2012,
CloakAuror9 xx

Author's Response: Thank you! I've been getting such mixed reviews on this thing I was like "Gah! Did I fart on this one?" Plus I really did try to be poetic (it is SO RARE that I feel that way because normally I'm like "ew") and so to be shot down a little has been a little disheartening.

So thank you for this. Sev and Lily are made for tears aren't they? It's that kind of unrequited bittersweet love that kind of just tugs at us. Thank you so much for this! *hugs*

xChar


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Review #14, by watchoutfornargles Dichotomy

16th March 2012:
The story is very descriptive, which is good, but it gets a bit singsongy "Her auburn hair, my heartís secret delight, the smile she bestowed was my light." Overall, very good and very descriptive. It's a bit different then your other works.

Author's Response: Thanks. I meant for it to be a little rhythmic there so... Yes this was different!

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Review #15, by Aderyn Dichotomy

16th March 2012:
Hi :D

This was an interesting snippet of a story that took the reader into Snape's mind. I think that you did a good job with the pacing by starting out general, and working towards a specific, important instant, before going back to a more general overarching conclusion. That sort of structure to the story made if feel complete, despite its short length.

One thing that seemed a bit odd to me, or that I wonder about, is how old Snape is when he's narrating it. I feel like some of his language is very lyrical, and not at all childlike, and to recognize when love began, he has to be looking back at least three years. But then, at the end he says "silly me" which seems very out of character. Maybe calling himself a fool would be better, it's definitely more severe, and I think Snape doesn't brush his faults away lightly, he's tortured by them, as shown in the books.

Nice job overall, though.

Author's Response: Thanks. I didn't really have an age of Sev in mind, just him speaking really. And he's poetic because I felt like being poetic :P I know it isn't really in character but I thought, what the heck, it's what I feel like saying. Perhaps in the future, I will change the "silly me" because that's a good point you are making.

Thanks for the review!

xChar


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Review #16, by LivingFairytale Dichotomy

16th March 2012:
Hiya! I love Snape/Lily one-shots so I simply had to read & review. That was beautiful! I love reading stories from Severus' point of view, he's such an amazing and interesting character, and I wish we knew more about him.

The way you used descriptions was magnificent! You've done an amazing job on this one shot. It pulled me in from the first line, and didn't let me go until I reached the end; which I found very sad. It was so beautiful, I wished it was a little longer. Overall, I enjoyed it very much! Well done!

Author's Response: Yay Snape/Lily! I always felt that their relationship was beautiful though it disintegrated in their Hogwarts years so I at least wanted to capture that moment of beauty before it had faded.

Thank you for making me smile with this!

xChar


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Review #17, by CambAngst Dichotomy

16th March 2012:
So I wanted to finally read something of yours, and I saw this pop up in the New Story thread and the timing was perfect.

This was really poetic. It's an interesting contrast to the bluntness that we're used to hearing from Snape. Naturally, if there's anything that would get him waxing poetic, it would be Lily, but it still took some getting used to.

You write very well. Everything flowed quiet nicely and there were no typos or grammatical problems to interrupt my enjoyment. You capture each scene briefly but meaningfully. Not a spare word beyond what was necessary, which I guess was the point of the challenge.

I did find it rather odd to find a religious metaphor in the middle of a story based on the Potter world. Not really jarring or disruptive, but it felt a bit out of place.

Overall, I enjoyed reading a story about Severus in a happier place and time. He's such a complex, deep, interesting character. Every facet of his persona is fun to explore!

Author's Response: I get you on the religious reference. Though I'm not a Christian myself, I do believe in God and I've always, for some random reason, wanted to stick something in a story about that. And now I've done it. It was random, but I liked it.

Thanks for taking a look at this! I know that a poetic Snape is a bit of an oxymoron but it's how I felt and thus how the story ended up :) I'm glad that it flowed nicely and Snape is certainly a character I'm keen on writing more about!

xChar


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