Aw!Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! :-) Report Review
I think you did a really incredible job of taking us through Remus' emotions, from his guilt about leaving Tonks, and his anger about being a coward, all the way through to his realization of his own worth and his resolve to fight. It was great to see it all packed into a one-shot without it being overwhelming at all.
I feel so bad for Remus. He is in such a difficult spot. I thought it was a really nice insight into all the anguish he must have been going through. And Tonks here was great, if a little colder than usual. But that's to be expected I think! Ted and Andromeda were a little harsher than I expected(especially Ted, Andromeda I understand more b/c of Bellatrix) but that's just my head canon kicking in. They were fine, and I completely understand what they must have been feeling in this situation, but I guess I think maybe Ted could be a little softer--still rock solid and firm about protecting his daughter, but not so ballistic. In DH he didn't strike me as the type to "roar savagely". Of course this is completely your story, so if that's the way you see Ted, then write him just like that! I just thought I'd give you my thoughts on that.
You also did a great job with the description. You set the scene on the doorstep perfectly with the whole first paragraph. I especially loved the way you talked about the scratches reminding him of the shrieking shack. I think it really set up how much being a werewolf affects him.
Great, powerful story! I think you just did great with the character of Remus. And I love the ending line!Author's Response: Thanks, I'm really glad you liked how I did Remus. He is my favourite character so I would hate to get him wrong!
I know what you mean about Tonks being a little colder than usual, but I figured it sort of had to be that way, because obviously she is very angry with him for leaving and for constantly putting himself down or seeing himself as a monster or an animal.
Again, I know what you mean about Ted and Andromeda. But the way I figured it was that they had to watch Tonks be miserable for a year, because Remus refused to be with her, they had to watch her be miserably all the time knowing there is nothing they can do to help you, that must have been the hardest thing for a parent to go through! Then Remus finally does decide to be with her and they get married, she gets pregnant and he leaves again, once again making Tonks completely miserable and back to square one, only in a worse state because she is going to have Teddy, you know? Tonks is their only daughter, only child, so I'd imagine that they are very protective of her, and the way they see it is that Remus is causing her so much hurt and pain, and they are going to do all in their power to prevent him from hurting her more. When they sort of lash out at him, it's more venting their frustration at watching their child be miserable and being unable to help, than actually wanting to hurt him, if that makes sense. With Ted I wanted it to be a momentary loss of control, that's why he is slightly horrified after he hit Remus, just because it is not something he would ever to, you know?
Anyway, thanks so much, I'm glad you chose this story to read and review! :-) Report Review
I've been meaning to review some of your stories for so long after you faithfully review mine, but there's always been some distraction or issue stopping me from doing so. Literally, I have a list of 'HPFF To Do' and at the top is your name (capitalised AND underlined) ;). So I'm very sorry its taking me so long, but here I am!
When I saw you'd written a story about Remus, I couldn't resist! He's one of favourites and I can say with 100% certainty - you've captured canon Remus. You actually have him within your story - his doubt, his self-loathing, his selflessness and his burning hatred, yet combined with compassionate and kind Remus we all know and love.
You've done a brilliant job showing Remus' feelings and thoughts change, reflecting the situation and atmosphere of the scene. At no point was there a moment of 'he was sad... now he is happy'. It was a gradual change which makes it much more realistic. In a weird way, it reminded me of that '5 stages of grief' - he seemed to go through different stages of acceptance and his arguments against each point were well-thought out and accurate.
One of my favourite parts about this one-shot was that it was always clear why Remus acted the way he did - there was no hiding his past out of shame or making himself look more positive whilst reasoning - it was blunt and to the point. Very Remus.
Your characterisation was perfect. Literally - perfect! I couldn't help but chuckle at Andromeda being the scary mother-in-law. There was echoes of Molly and Arthur within this couple - the scary dominating female, and the tame husband willing to appease his wife, yet as soon as someone they care for is threatened... then all hell breaks loose. :P For some reason it seemed perfect to Ted and Andromeda! I just loved their reaction to Remus - nothing seemed out of place or OOC. Their reactions were spot on. :)
Tonks was perfect as well - I like how you've explained her physical looks and how Remus reacts to seeing her - desperate to look but scared of what he'll see (kind of like a child wanting to look under their bed in the middle of the night ;) ). She was also perfectly in character and I like the growth of her emotions - uncertain, irritated, hurt, passionate and just plain angry. She was just how I imagine her.
Your last line; 'We'll get there if we should.' Shivers. Literally. It was so perfect to the scene, the moment, the entire relationship and just is perfect. I can't say how much I loved reading this - it really was brilliant! And I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to review.
I will read more soon - but I'm half way through the next chapter of 'Playing At War' and don't want to stop now! :P (It will be up soon!) Also, I feel bad referring to you as 'The Last Marauder' - do you mind telling me of another name I could use? :D
100/10 Keira :)Author's Response: Hi there yourself. Don't worry, it's not a problem, if I'm honest with you I'd much rather you spend your time writing your awesome fics, instead of reviewing one of mine ;) You're grand, it's cool! But I'm very glad you dropped by the review tag and picked this story to review!
I'm glad you thought Remus was canon in this, he's my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE character, so I want to get him just right. All my stories feature him in some shape or form and I just love writing him so much. I just feel like I can relate to him a hell of a lot more than any other character, and I just seem to understand where he is coming from and what mind-space he is in more than any other character too. I just find it so easy to get into his head and see things from his point of view, than say if I tried Sirius or James, or even Ron or Hermione.
I'm also glad you liked the flow of the story too, I didn't want the progression to be abrupt where he moves from one extreme feeling to the next, I wanted it to be gradual and subtle, because it just seemed more realistic that way, to me anyway.
I'm glad you liked Ted and Andromeda, they both caused me a lot of trouble characterisation-wise, but then I just laid out the facts: They one have one child, and they had to watch her be miserable for a year because Lupin refused to be with her, and that must have been the hardest thing in the world to do, watch their child be miserable and know they could do nothing. Then Lupin decides to let her in, they get married, she gets pregnant and he leaves, again having her in a depressed state, and as parents I just figured that they see Remus as causing her an inordinate amount of pain and their first reaction is to protect her from more, which means refusing to let him see her. Or at least that is how I see it...
I'm glad you liked Tonks too. I really wanted her to be a strong character in this, and even though she is hurt, I wanted her to be strong, because that's the way JKR wrote her. I found her very difficult to write and I really had to work hard at it, and I'm quite happy with the result, still don't think she's perfect, but she's the best Tonks I can do.
Glad you liked the last line, it's the last line of the song which was the inspiration for this fic and which gave this fic it's title: "Heroes or Ghosts" by the Dublin band the Coronas, really great song, though I prefer the version in Irish which is much more beautiful "Taibhsi no Laoch(ra)".
Don't feel bad at all about calling me by my pen-name, I love my pen-name a lot, because it allows me to just be me, I don't have to hide anything, or hold my love for HP back at all. I don't want to give my name out publically online (there's always a fear that someone I know will find this page and connect it to me and realise the true extent of my nerdiness and Harry Potter obsession.. fanfiction is not well thought of at all in my circle of friends - I study literature in college see...and when you study the likes of Joyce, Beckett, Yeats, Wilde, Friel and Heaney, HP fanfiction is considered the lowest of the low, second only to Twilight fanfiction), but I'll tell you what I will do, I'll PM it to you on the forums, how does that sound?
Can't wait for more "Playing At War" - you have me all excited now! :-) Keep up the great writing yourself, please say there's more "Mischief Managed" soon too? :) Report Review
Hi! I stumbled upon this the other night while I was looking for some vacation reading and I really enjoyed it! I think your characterization of Remus and Tonks are spot-on, and their reconciliation seems believable, as if this is how it really could have happened.
I also like that you have Ted and Andromeda Tonks take on a protective role -- I hadn't really thought about how they would react to Remus leaving and coming back, before -- and effectively become an obstacle that he has to get through in order to get to her. I love that he refuses to leave until he has a chance to apologize to Dora!
Anyway, great job! I've started reading your other Remus stories now, since I liked this one so much.Author's Response: Hi there!
Thanks so much for the review, I really appreciate it, and I'm so glad you enjoyed this one-shot and that you thought I did Remus and Tonks well. Remus is my favourite character so I do all in my power to get him as right as I possibly can, so I am very glad you think I did a good job on the pair of them. :)
I am also glad you liked how I did Ted and Andromeda. I just tried to see things from their point of view. They had to spend a year watching their daughter be miserable because Remus refused to let them be together. Then they finally do get together and Tonks is happy, only to have him leave again and she is back to square one - miserable. I figure that must be the hardest thing in the world for a parent, to watch their child be miserable knowing there is absolutely nothing they can do. So I figured with all that in mind, they just want to protect Dora as best they can, and they obviously don't like Remus because of what he has done to Tonks, you know?
Anyway, cheers so much for the review, I am really glad you enjoyed it and I hope you like the other Lupin fics too - though stay away from "The Last Marauder" - I wrote it when I was very young and it's dreadful, I only keep it up as a marker of how far I've come since! :) Report Review
Wow! A great story, you've really understood Tonks and Remus and it makes the reader understand them to.
The emotion in this is superb and I like how Andromeda and Ted reacted, it's how I think patents would if there only daughter had been left and I especially liked how Ted punched him instead of using magic, it made it better somehow! :)
A great piece, 10/10 :)Author's Response: Cheers, I am glad you liked it! I am also glad you liked Ted and Andromeda's reactions, I was afraid I was maybe a little too extreme there, so it's good to know you liked that. I'm also glad you liked Ted punching Lupin instead of using magic - he is a Muggleborn after all, I just figured that his Muggle heritage would take over at a moment like this.
Cheers for the review, glad you liked it :) Report Review
Here for Pass the Parcel.
Aw, this was such a sad yet intense story. I liked your portrayal of Remus. I think his insecurity, his 'being stuck' feeling, his fears, they were well written and well justified.
The few beginning paragraphs really made me feel very sad for him. The way you wrote about him feeling 'damaged' was very touching.
I also loved the interaction between Tonks and him, and their sweet exchange of "I love you". It was really so tender, it made me go aww.
The hope Remus felt was very palpable towards the end. I liked the positivity with which it was written.
All in all, I loved your story. Remus was so perfect, Tonks was spot-on, the plot was great, and the ending was really very sweet.
My favorite phrase was "dragging him out of shadows, demons, ghosts, and monsters... she was saving him." I really liked that.
Super writing!! A full deserved 10/10 =)
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Cheers! I'm glad you liked it, and that you think I portrayed Remus well.
I'm glad you liked the positivity at the end. That was what I was going for - this is the turning point for him, the point where he realises what Tonks has known all along, that he is a human being first and a werewolf second.
I'm glad you liked that line too - that's how I always saw Tonks - she was the one that saved Lupin, the one that showed him that he can still have those basic human things - like love and a family. She saved him, because she brought him out of the dark world in which he lived, if that makes any sense at all!
Anyway, cheers for picking this story - I'm glad you liked this :) Report Review
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the Common Room.
This was really, really well done. From the outset, I thought you did a terrific job of capturing all of Remus's competing emotions while painting a vivid picture of the things going on around him. I felt so immersed in the story, so connected to the characters.
The way you set up Remus's approach to the Tonks house was a great way to draw the reader in. The small details that Remus fixates on, like the brass door handle and knocker, give us a great sense of his state of mind. I especially loved the accusatory potted plants. Very nice touch!
You did a fantastic job with Ted and Andromeda. The raw fury that Ted is radiating, tempered by the kind man that we know he is, came through with perfect clarity. All of his actions betrayed the conflict going on inside: the outraged, protective father competing with the calm, reasonable man for control. Both the punch he lands in Remus's face and his apparent horror at what he's done were pitch-perfect. I loved the way that you summoned elements of Bellatrix and infused them into Andromeda. You can take the girl out of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, but you can't completely take the House of Black out of the girl. It was breathtaking.
There are plenty of reasons to love Nymphadora Tonks, but her redemption of Remus is always near the top of the list. I always thought it was a shame that there was really no way for JKR to present more of their story, at least not without making HBP and DH even longer. That said, it would have deprived me of the opportunity of reading your version of events, and that would have been a shame. The entire conversation was perfectly executed. In spite of his self-loathing, you didn't have Remus just roll over. He argues back, trying to make her see him as the monster he believes he is. But she wins in the end, not just because she's stronger -- which she certainly is at this moment -- but also because she's right. And she loves him so dearly.
It's so terribly sad to realize that these two wonderful, loving characters will be gone within 9 months of this scene. That fact makes Remus's closing thoughts all the more poignant.
As I was reading, I did notice two things that you might want to take another look at:
-- "He was afraid he wouldn’t have to will to leave if she asked him to." - "the will to leave"?
-- "And so did Mad-Eye and he was as careful and as cautious you get;" - "as careful and as cautious as you get"?
Aside from that, your writing was great. Everything flowed really smoothly and you had a great balance of description and narrative and dialog. You mixed up your word choice well and nothing sounded flat or sing-songy.
Great job!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you picked this story to review! I'm also glad you enjoyed it!
I'm happy you liked the little details on the door and the porch. When you are in a decisive space, you look for anything and everything to distract you from making a decision - or at least that is what happens to me! I was just drawing on experience really.
I am relieved you liked Ted and Andromeda. I was afraid it was a little too much, especially with Ted. But then I thought, Lupin went and ditched his only child, his daughter, while she was pregnant. He had to watch Dora be miserable for a year after Remus refused to be with her, then when they finally get together he leaves. I'd imagine it must be really tough for a parent to watch their child be miserable, so when I looked at it like that, Ted punching him seemed reasonable. Again, I'm glad you liked Andromeda too - I loved the way you put it, you can take the girl out of the House of Black, but not the House of Black out of the girl.
I'm glad you liked Tonks. She was very hard to do and it took me a good while to get her right. I agree with you - it was a shame we didn't see more of their relationship in the books (fingers crossed for info on Pottermore though, but we will probably have to wait about 4 years or something until we get to that point. hmm.).
I'm glad you liked the conversation at the end. Tonks was always going to win it, as you said, because she is wholeheartedly right, but Remus can't just surrender 30 odd years of self-loathing just like that, they would have to fight it out (verbally), until she finally makes him see what she knew all along - that he is a great human-being.
I know what you mean about it being terrible that they die so soon after this moment - I'm still in mourning over it and I cry every time I read that scene in the books: "Remus and Tonks, pale and still and peaceful-looking, apparently asleep beneath the dark, enchanted ceiling" - just brings the tears out like nothing else!
Sorry about the typos. I've fixed them. No matter how many times I go over it, I still can't catch them all! Cheers for that.
I'm really glad you enjoyed this - thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it :-) Report Review
I really really liked this. It was very well written, you have quite the extensive vocabulary and a beautiful way of putting things. The imagery was great - I loved the whole bit about the door, that was excellent, and using the darkness and the evening to kind of parallel what was going on within Remus was good too.
My only criticisms are: there were a couple of words missing here or there, but nothing major. And there were a couple of places, particularly at the beginning, that were a little repetitive or paragraphs that were a little redundant. I think specifically the first three paragraphs could use a little bit of editing.
Something that I found rather interesting were the Tonks's violent tendances. I mean, obviously they would've been very angry and upset with Remus and the entire affair, but I never thought of them as shrieking, hex casting people. It worked in this story though.
Other than that I could picture Dora and Remus so perfectly. Especially Remus, you had his every single movement, facial expression, feeling so clear in my mind. Very well done for keeping him in canon :)
Keep up the great work!
-Sunday ./.Author's Response: Cheers for your review! I really appreciate it! :)
I know what you mean about the repeatitive pieces in the first three or four paragraphs. That was deliberate on my part though, I wanted the reader to get a sense that Lupin was kinda stuck in some sort of limbo, where he does not yet have the courage to move forward, and as such is stuck where he is. I purposely repeated material to try and create that sense. Maybe I haven't done it right though? I'll take another look at things and see what I can do about it.
Then with Tonks's parents, yeah, I know what you mean about the violence there. That's been highlighted in another review. I'm working on a re-write of that part actually, trying to tone down the violence, making it obvious that Ted only punched Lupin in a single momentary loss of control. And Andromeda sends hexes in Lupin's direction, but I'm making it blantantly obvious that she is deliberately missing him and using the spells, not to hit or injure him, but to scare him off. I know what you mean, they seem more mellow in the books I think. But I figured that they would rave at Lupin. I mean, he has done a lot of damage here. First, he had Tonks is a very depressive state for nearly a year, refusing to be with her. Then he changes his mind, marries her and then leaves her again while she is pregnant. As her parents, Ted and Andromeda would have to sit there completely helpless and watch Tonks be miserable. That must have been awful. Sitting there and seeing your only child miserable and knowing there is nothing you can do. I figured, all that considered they have stored up a huge amount of animosity towards Lupin at this point, if you get me...
I am glad that you thought I got Lupin right though and that you thought, as a whole anyway, that everything was well written.
Thanks again for the review, and your constructive criticism. I'll definitely have another go over the first few paragraphs and see if I can change things a bit, and I'll go over it all again to see if I can spot those words that are missing (sorry, no matter how many times I read it, I just can't pick up all the typos, my brain knows what I want to say see, so I think that impacts on my ability to proof-read).
Thanks again for the review, much appreciated! :) Report Review
Wonderful story. I am crying right now :/ You are one of the best authors, with the best stories I ever had the pleasure to read. Thank you. 10/10Author's Response: You've just made my day! Thank you so much! I'm dancing inside right now! Seriously, thank you for all those kind words!!! Thank you for reading my stories, I'm so glad you like them, and thank you for this lovely review as well!
THANK YOU! :) Report Review
It's Roots in Water here with your review!
First, let me begin by saying that I think that you did a great job of exploring the change in Remus' feelings and thoughts throughout this one-shot. You took the time to fully explore each of the stages- his initial reluctance, his fear at being rejected, his certainty that he was a monster- and work through them. You explored many of the possible arguments and made his feelings realistic enough that it was easy to understand why Remus had left in the first place and why Tonks was accepting him back now.
Furthermore, I definitely got the sense that Remus felt guilty and regretted leaving Tonks, so he was, in a sense, sorry for his actions. As well, you certainly explained his change in thought very well.
The ending was especially clear and well-thought out. I liked the way in which you wrote Tonks' fire and her determination and I think that her initial coldness followed by her irritated state was appropriate with the situation: Remus had left her, alone and pregnant, and then come back still convinced that he was a monster, even after many people had told him he wasn't. Furthermore, I think that you did a great job of attacking his fear from multiple angles, thus making it believable when Remus accepted that he was human, that he was, after all, more than just a werewolf.
As for your characterization, I think that you write Remus and Tonks very well. Remus was hesitant, anxious to do the right thing and you were spot on with his fears about being a werewolf. Tonks was cold and yet passionate, the impression I always got of her in the books. However, I hit a snag with your characterization of her parents. Though they played a (very) minor role in the books, I got the sense that they were gentler and kinder than you portrayed them here. I understand that they are angry on their daughter's behalf but I would have thought that in their anger they would have turned bitingly cold in their comments instead of using violence and shouted remarks to show their displeasure. That could, however, just be my opinion. :)
As well, I loved your ending. It was the perfect conclusion to the story and I especially liked the way you linked the last sentence back to the beginning. The sentence seemed fitting because it lends a sense of hope about the future but it also could be hinting at their deaths.
All in all I enjoyed reading this one-shot and I think that you did a great job of exploring Remus' feelings and the reasons why he came back to Tonks after he was rejected by Harry. Thanks for requesting and I hope that my comments are helpful (and that I covered everything you asked about)!Author's Response: Firstly, thanks so much for taking my request! I really appreciate it! Thanks so much.
I am really relieved that you thought I characterised Lupin and Tonks well. I find Tonks hard to write so I am glad you like her, and that she did not come across overly weak or hysterical either, because to be honest, I never pictured her like that myself. I am also glad you liked Lupin and that you felt he worked through a lot of issues here. I was slightly anxious about whether or not I had succeeded in making him overcome his inner demons really here. So I am very glad you thought I did ok on that front :)
I am also glad that you loved the ending. I was not 100% sure if it was convincing enough, so I am really relieved you thought it was! yay! :)
With regards to Tonks's parents, yeah, I know what you mean. I was a bit unsure about their characterisation to be honest with you. I think Andromeda only had two lines in the books, where is our daughter? What happened to Nymphadora? (or something along those lines anyhow), and there was that and Sirius's comment that Andromeda was his favourite cousin. It's not much to go on really. With Ted there is a little more, especially since he does most of the talking when Harry crashes in the garden, then there is the overheard scene with the Goblins, Dean and Dirk in the forest too. I think you have a point that they are definitely much less cold and more mellow than I showed them here. But then I figured that Lupin had Tonks in a seriously depressed state for nearly a year, when he refused to be with her, then he changes his mind, marries her and then leaves her when she is pregnant. He's done an awful lot of damage there if you ask me, and as her parents they couldn't really do anything to help her here and it must have been awful to sit helpless and watch your daughter be miserable. I was also thinking of Hermione attacking Ron with the birds in Half-Blood Prince, and how in Deathly Hallows she wanted her wand back off Harry so she could curse Ron when he reappeared. Then there was that fact that Dora was Andromeda and Ted's only daughter, only child, so they would naturally be overprotective, she is all they have. Then there was Lupin saying that Tonks's parents were "disgusted" by their marriage (then again Lupin might have been overdramatic...). So I thought that maybe, all that considered their reactions here were justified...? But yeah, I'm not entirely convinced by that argument myself... I think I'll go back and re-write that part, I'll still have Ted punch Remus (just because I think it sets up the encounter with Tonks in a way that works for me, because instead of seeing him and screaming the way Hermione did when Ron returns, she sees his nose is broken and the sight of that quells some of that initial anger, and makes the conversation less heated, if that makes any sense), but maybe change it so that the punch was done in a moment when Ted lost all control, and afterwards he is surprised and shocked by what he had done. Then with Andromeda, maybe have her fire spells in Lupin's direction, but make it obvious that she never meant to hit him with them, but merely scare him anyway. Does that sound better to you? It means that they are more protecting Tonks, then releasing their rage and attacking Lupin. That sounds more parent-like to me. What do you reckon? I think it sounds better to me anyhow...
Thank you so much for the review, I really did find it very helpful, especially where Ted and Andromeda are concerned and I'm going to do a bit of a re-write now! So cheers for your help there. I really appreciate that! Thank you! :) Report Review
This is a great one-shot. I find it very believable and convincing. I could see Remus being exactly like this when he returns and I could see Dora's parents being this way as well upon his arrival.
I do think that you do have some redundancy throughout, but I felt that it was important for you to be redundant to get your point fully across the way you wanted to. I don't know if that is what your feeling is off or making it seem off.
The characterization is done wonderfully. You play into the insecurities that Remus has about his lycanthropy, being seen as a monster and fear of the unknown for his unborn child. Ted and Andromeda were done well to. I could totally see them as parents wanting to protect their daughter in the way that they did. I also like how you hinted at Andromeda's resemblence to her sister Bellatrix. Dora was wonderfully characterized as well. She has always seen past the werewolf and sees Remus for who he truly is despite his insecurities. She understands him on another level.
When you get to the end and Dora takes Remus back I do feel that Remus has grown as a character. You can see subtle changes in him (which for him he doesn't need huge changes the subtle ones work best with him) It has to do with him being a werewolf and logical all at the same time. The ending is very believable and I can see him and Dora both accepting the unknown together.
I did find one sentence that was a bit confusing that I wanted to point out to you...
"These sounds pulled him from his thoughts, bringing him out of memory bang-smack back into reality again"
After I read it out loud it seemed a bit confusing. I think that maybe you were going for smack-bang?
Overall, I think that this is an amazingly wonderful, well thought out One-shot of a part that we never get to hear about. You took it and ran with it and it was really written beautifully.
I would love to read more of your work!
Keep up the great work! =)
Sorry it took me awhile to get to this. Usually I am faster.Author's Response: Sorry it took me so long to reply, the archive was down so I wasn't able to log-in to reply!
Thank you so much taking my request, I really appreciate your feedback, just because I have a feeling this story isn't going to get reviews, so it's good to know what you find it convincing and believable (I was just a little worried on that front, and if people don't review, then I don't know if I got it right or not!)
Also, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "Some redundancy throughout". Sorry! If you have time, and if you don't mind (and you don't have to if you don't want to, it's grand), could you just send me a quick PM in the forums giving me an example of a piece of redundancy in this fic? Just so I know for future reference in case I do it again in a different fic. I'll believe you here when you say it helped me get my point across, because to be honest I don't entirely understand what you mean... sorry!
I am so glad you thought the characterisation was OK. I find Tonks really hard to write so the very fact that you found her convincing is a huge relief. I'm glad also that you liked Ted and Andromeda's reactions; I was a bit unsure whether or not to have Ted punch Remus, because he seems so mellow in the books, but then I thought, Tonks is his daughter, his only daughter, only child, and Remus walked out on her when she was pregnant, so I kinda figured, all that considered, that he would punch Remus, you know?
I'm relieved you thought the ending was convincing, I was a bit unsure on it myself. So thank you so much for putting me at ease there! I really appreciate that!
That's funny about the phrase you pointed out, I'm Irish and here we say "bang-smack", not "smack-bang", but I think I will remove the phrase entirely, I don't want to be confusing the reader. So cheers for pointing that out to me!
Thank you so much for the review, you really made my day! Thank you so much, and here, don't worry about taking a while to get the review done, to be honest with you I thought you were really quick actually, so don't worry about that! Thanks so much again.
TLM :-) Report Review
first of all, i have to say that i loved the imagery of the accusatory flowers, though i kind of laughed a bit because i suddenly thought of the flowers from alice in wonderland admonishing alice for being the "wrong alice".
i also liked how the scratches on the door reminded him of the shrieking shack, and how the chapter basically begins with him in a terrible inner conflict of indecision. a kind of limbo as you call it, which is a great to begin. what i also liked about here was the interweaving of ghost motifs/ metaphors, which i assume was to tie into the title, yes? and i liked dora's comeback of "i want something to do with you". i knew she was going to say it as soon as remus said that the people who met him always wanted nothing to do with him. i also liked that little bit where you paralleled dumbledore's (supposed) mistake in trusting snape with his trusting remus.
i almost like this better than the version you had of this same scene in your first fic, "the last marauder". just because it focuses so much on remus coming to terms with his humanity and that he is in fact is NOT a monster, and that tonks is helping him to see that again, giving him that hope.
all in all, it was a very satisfying resolution to a previous fic that ended so bleakly. :)
ps. yes, in one of your last reviews, i did mean antidote not anecdote i got the words mixed up in my head. i get words that sound similar mixed up in my head sometimes.Author's Response: Thanks a mil for the review, really appreciate it!
I'm glad you liked the bit about the accusatory flowers. I didn't think of the Alice in Wonderland reference myself, but now that you mention it, it is pretty funny! ;)
I am glad you liked the Shrieking Shack reference and the idea of Lupin being stuck in limbo (the story came out of that concept really, the idea of being stuck in an indecisive space, unable to move, and then the rest kinda wrote itself, more or less anyway).
I am glad you liked all the ghost metaphors too. Originally, this was a song-fic, based on the song "Heroes or Ghosts" by the Coronas, but after my previous experience of song fics, I decided to remove the lyrics. But I kept all the ghost metaphors because I liked them. I was worried they would be a little out of place, so I am glad you thought they were OK.
Yeah... don't mention the story "The Last Marauder". I've actually grown to hate that fic would you believe! I was so young when I wrote it, that it just makes me cringe now. I had never written anything in my life (aside from stupid short stories in English, the ones the teachers make you write to practice for the JC and LC exams) and I really think the fic shows that inexperience. It's so pathetically simple and predictable, not to mention that the characters are wooden and two dimentional and the writing style is awful. None of the characters or their experiences seem real. I've actually seriously considered deleting it, because I cringe at the thought of people reading it, but it was my first fic and I guess I want to keep it up as a reminder of my younger self, and, at the same time, a reminder of how far I've come since then (or so I hope!). I'm actually working on a Novella, set in more or less the same time-frame as "The Last Marauder" (it actually starts a little earlier, with Lupin marrying Tonks) but it's a completely different fic, and it deals with more issues, like the one discussed here, how Lupin is not a monster, but feels like one etc. I'm much happier with this new fic than I am with "The Last Marauder", but the new fic probably won't see the light of the world wide web for a long time anyway, I promised myself I wouldn't post chapter one until I had 10 chapters written, just so I wouldn't be under constant pressure to update and stuff.
Anyway, thank you so much for reviewing, I really appreciate it. You're so good like that, coming and reviewing all the mental fics I decide to post here, you don't have to by any means, but you do anyway, and I really appreciate that. Needless to say I probably won't be posting anything new this side of the summer anyway. Damn you college work! AH!
Thanks again, seriously, really appreciate it, you're so good.
ps. Don't worry about anecdote, it was just a typo, we all do them, and the spell checker on Word is not "prefect" (get it? hee hee hee)
Thanks again though, really appreciate your feedback.
pps. I don't mind beta reading for you if you still want me to, but just read the message I sent you in the forums first, before you make up your mind :) Report Review
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