Wow! I actually cried! Wow! Brilliance beyond compare!Author's Response: Aww, thanks for reading all the way to the end. I'm glad that you enjoyed it -- even though it made you cry. I hope it was a good sort of cry. :) Report Review
Wow, I love the way you write. I'm not even finished with it and I can tell that I'm going to love it. You, my dear, are brilliant. Keep at it, love. xoxoAuthor's Response: Aww, shucks. :) Thanks for making my day, and I hope you continue to enjoy it. Report Review
I loved your story! This is probably one of the most original plots I have read that involved Remus, and it was written well as well. While I may not favor the ending, I never care for sad endings anyway, it still is an awesome story.Author's Response: Aww, thanks for reading and reviewing! :) I'm really glad you liked my story, even if the ending wasn't what you wanted. I knew I would have to make it a little sad to fit with the canon. Report Review
Really, really good :DAuthor's Response: Thanks, glad you enjoyed! :) Report Review
I read this in 24 hours. I believe it's finished now and I feel a little... hollow? Is your intention to write a sequel? I may have missed a key author's note on that matter in my haste to read read read (just my luck, I finished chapter 18 and you posted this chapter). I think that the dynamic between Snape and Clio in a potential sequel will provide a lot of entertainment. The one loose end that I want tied up is the mystery about her grandfather.
I liked the depth to your characters. Remus was written well (some Remus' are just...no), Nox was a treat, Clio was alright, I relate to her love of music, but I really liked Charity and Snape.
In an earlier chapter (I can't recall which one) I was thoroughly amused by Clio's comment about building a TARDIS. I'm not apart of the fandom but I understood and laughed out loud at the reference. I sent that part to my friend because it sounds like something she would have said.
I wish I had been thoughtful enough to leave better reviews but I hope this one makes up for my earlier silence.Author's Response: Thanks so much for making it all the way to the end and leaving a review! :) I understand what you mean by hollow; I knew from the beginning that it would end this way (even though I was occasionally tempted to either end on a happier note or kill Clio off). It is "finished," although I have been doing some editing here and there and haven't quite worked up the nerve to cut the cord and mark it "completed" yet.
This is part of a bigger story that won't leave me be, and I so am working on a sequel. While I have the early chapters ready to post the middle is out of control. I'm trying to get a better handle on that section before I begin posting. The dynamic between Clio and Snape will definitely get interesting, and Charity and Nox will both be back. :) The mystery with her grandfather is also going to play a big part in the plot and it will get solved ... I just don't know how soon! I do have the answers in my head. I'm actually really glad to hear that you want that end tied up -- I don't think anyone else has even mentioned it.
I listened to music the entire time that I was writing, so I'm glad that you liked that aspect of Clio's personality. :) I also figured that wizards might look at science fiction the way we look at fantasy fiction, so I had fun throwing in the occasional Doctor Who references, too. :)
Anyway, thanks for stopping by and I hope you'll stop by again to read the next one once it starts going up (hopefully by the end of the month). Report Review
Here from Slytherin Review tag!
The biggest thing that struck me about this chapter is that you’ve clearly put a lot of thought and time into this, and I appreciate that. The list of qualifications, the mythology you casually reference (as it’s just a normal part of Clio’s life), her history, the fact that she has a favourite Tale. You just seem very comfortable in JK Rowling’s wizarding world, and you move easily around it.
I often struggle with OC’s, but Clio drew me in quickly. She has brains, an interesting back story and train of thought, and I enjoyed the fact that the first scene is a meeting with Dumbledore. It rooted this story in a sphere I understand. You’ve described her in a way that I can imagine, without making her a Mary Sue.
I loved this little paragraph: ‘"It is, but responsibility is something I'm well acquainted with," she said. Her words sounded scripted, as if they might have come straight from a manual, but her eyes didn't lie. They flared with an intensity that Dumbledore supposed some men might find captivating as she abandoned her carefully prepared answer.’ - it tells you a lot about Clio, and just a little bit about Dumbledore too. It’s a nice interaction.
The thought you’ve put into Runes made it really fascinating - I’d never thought much about them, dismissing them as being a tough, maths-like school subject! Runemasters - amazing idea. I can see why Dumbledore would want to hire her, despite her young age.
This line was great, I could imagine Rowling herself writing it: “When he didn't respond, she proceeded to answer the question with the first coherent thought that popped into her head. "Well, a werewolf is really only a werewolf once a month, while a Death Eater is a Death Eater every day, so I'll go with Death Eater."”
And then, the conversation about ‘Big V’ made me smile. I can totally imagine Dumbledore reacting as he did! Your characterization of him is lovely, and very close to canon I feel. Some people write him as the Angry Gambon, and others get wrapped up in the tortured soul side. But he had a lot of twinkle, too! so I love your characterization here. His line about the house-elves was perfect too.
There were one or two little errors, but I can only find one now:
‘"Yes, I agree," he said, feeling confidenet in his assessment.’ - Should be ‘confident’
Oh I’m just so glad I was behind you in Review Tag! This was fantastic. You’re a great writer. I’m looking forward to reading the rest! :) 10/10 and favourited.
Athene xoAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you for your kind review! :) I'm really glad that you liked the first chapter and hope that you'll continue to read and enjoy it.
I had the basic story idea first, then realized that I would need an OC to make it work. I've tried to make her as "real" as possible, so your comments make me very happy. Ancient Runes was convenient because it's the one class where a professor is never mentioned in the books. I did some research into runes and then made other stuff up. :)
I've spent a lot of time editing, so it's wonderful to hear that it hasn't been wasted. I'm still tinkering with passages here and there, which is why I've still got it marked as a work-in-process. A few chapters near the end definitely need a little more attention, so I apologize in advance if you get to them before I do. :)
I've got a running list of spelling and capitalization errors to fix, as well, so I'll add confidenet to it. :) Thanks for pointing it out! There's always a few errors that I miss, no matter how many passes I make. Report Review
Fabulous chapter, just as marvelous as the last two! I loved seeing Snape; he was deliciously broody, his panties all in a bunch with the loud music and Remus's imminent arrival and because he's just generally always in such a bad mood. He amuses me. ^ ^
This part in particular had me in stitches:
"The next time I'm working down here I can play something you'll find less annoying."
"I like silence."
"I'm not familiar with them," she said with a straight face
Well done! I can't wait to read more.Author's Response: Tee-hee, thanks! :)
I love writing Snape ... hmm, perhaps there is a very cranky person living somewhere inside of me. I put the photo lab in the dungeon 1) because it made sense to put it somewhere dark and 2) so he and Clio can harass each other on a regular basis.
Thanks for reading & reviewing! I hope you continue to enjoy it. Report Review
Hi! I very much enjoyed Clio's tangle with Snape. I think you hit the balance of snarky and ever so slightly helpful that he would have with a fellow staff member. (as long as that staff member wasn't a werewolf! -- then again, he did brew the Wolfsbane potion for Remus in the books, though probably only to ensure the students' and Harry's safety). Whatever else he does, Snape does take his job as professor seriously.
I loved the descriptions of the photographs drying their wings like butterflies -- very nice. You detailed the darkroom right down to the smell and that brought the whole scene together.
Mechanical notes: I believe "rubric" is spelled with a C, and generally in the books, spoken spells are capitalized. (Patronus, etc)
I loved Clio's swim with the female professors. I always thought Sprout would be a fun person to be friends with :) it's really fun for me to see Hogwarts through Clio's eyes! Thanks for a fun chapter!Author's Response: Thanks again for reviewing! :) Spelling is definitely not my strongest suit. I hadn't noticed the capitalization thing with the spells; so thanks for pointing that out! I will have to go back through and fix those (eep,I think there's quite a few more of those hiding about).
I'm really glad you liked the interaction with Snape - there is a point several chapters ahead where she tells him it's "nice" of him to make the wolfsbane potion, and he makes it crystal clear that he's not doing it for Lupin's sake.
I like Professor Sprout a lot -- Professor McGonagall too, but Sprout I think would definitely be more fun to hang out with. :)
I'm glad you continue to enjoy this story! Report Review
Hi! I'm from Pass the Parcel, and wow am I glad I posted below you! Your story summary is hilarious, by the way, and quite intriguing. Makes me curious to see more!
Right off the bat I could tell that I was going to like this. Your language and grammar are professional, sophisticated, and everything is arranged with obvious care. It makes for smooth but thought-provoking reading. It could be so easy to botch something like this - a foreigner coming out of nowhere to teach at Hogwarts, but the way you executed the idea makes it impossible to doubt. Clio is mysterious but not overly-so, and her underlying desperation to secure the job balances well with the calm exterior she tries to show Dumbledore. Already, I feel like I am learning more about her.
One of the things that impressed me the most was how thorough you are! You explained everything clearly instead of rushing through it, not leaving the actual interview to be vague or stray off-topic to matters not pertaining to the job title (which could be tempting, I think, for other writers to do). Every question Dumbledore asked her made me think, "Yes, this is so plausible! Yes, that's exactly what he would have said." Clio certainly seems to know her stuff about Runes, and her background sounds rich and interesting. Moreover, she doesn't have some special connection to Dumbledore, which is a major relief because that is the tip of the Mary Sue iceberg. I think it's safe to say that you have definitely avoided having a Mary Sue character!
I also like Dumbledore's cryptic inquiry about her preferences with working with werewolves or Death Eaters. What a fascinating staff, indeed. XD
Back to the minor details because I love them so much: The contract. It might seem odd that this was one of my favorite parts of the chapter, but it's little things like that, so thoroughly planned-out and realistic with the probationary year-long contract followed by a possible long-term contract based on staff recommendations and such, that completely bring a story to life. I could feel Clio's nerves, her anticipation, her eagerness that she tried to downplay. And all of this was wrapped up in one hundred percent convincing dialogue and imagery. Love it, love it, love it. And if my eyes don't deceive me, I do believe this is Remus/OC? WHICH EXCITES ME TO EXTREME LEVELS, I MUST SAY.
I will definitely come back and read this. :) 10/10Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much for your review. :) I'm really glad you enjoyed it and appreciated the thought that I put into Clio's background.
Not every chapter may be quite as polished as this one, so if you do return to read more and find any issues then I am more than happy for you to point them out.
I'm lucky to have a couple of friends who are teachers; everything I know about the tenure process, teachers lives and so forth comes from them. They teach in the US, but I figure some aspects must be universal, and any liberties I take can be forgiven.
And , err, yes, there is a Remus/OC pairing :) :) ... I don't want to give too much away, but I tried to develop the relationship in it an a realistic, in-character way.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you will return! Report Review
I enjoyed this chapter thoroughly. The characterizations of Hagrid and the various professors are fabulous and the blend of suspense and comedy works very nicely. Clio has a funny, snappy sensibility even when telling off a Dementor, I'm really growing fond of her. I want to move into that apartment, though I, also, would likely kill the house plants!
Snape being likened to a "goth" by Charity made me giggle and is entirely in character! I love when stories about characters with Muggle-world connections mention them. I hadn't thought "emo" was around as a word back then but I did a little reading and prevented my own nitpicky CC ;)
The one suggestion I do have would be to transform some more of the relating of Clio's tales about her school years, etc. to conversations with Charity. I loved that she didn't really get a chance to talk to Hagrid about anything other than animals :)
I'm getting hooked on this story, thanks for the fun read!Author's Response: Thanks again! I'm glad that you're enjoying it.
Sticking to pop culture references that fit with the 90s has been a challenge (yay for the Internet!). I've tried not to include glaringly anachronistic slang, so if you catch anything please point it out!
I get what you mean about including more of the stories in their conversations! I've never been super comfortable writing dialog, but working on this has gotten me to try harder, and I will definitely keep that in mind as I go through and edit. Report Review
I was wrong before- THIS is the chapter I have been waiting for!
Yay!! There together- I think?! Oh well, In my mind they are! ;P
I'm going to read on to find put what happens next otherwise this review would just be me being far too happy!
Amazing! :D 10/10Author's Response: Ha! Yes, they're definitely together, although that doesn't mean that everything will be smooth sailing.
I'm glad you continue to enjoy it. Report Review
Ahh, the.chapter I've been waiting for ;) and its better then I could have imagined :)
Its so sweet that he wants to buy the instrument for her, that's exactly how I imagine Remus!
Bless them, they both like each other but Remus doesnt know what he is doing, too cute :D
The best chapter yet :D 10/10Author's Response: Thanks! :) :) Poor Remus, I think he's so used to guarding his emotions that he has trouble letting anyone get too close. Report Review
Wow! The match was really exciting, especially since it wasn't written how it is normally wrote (in a good way, I mean that!) :)
Hope she wins the bet, I wonder what sort of music snape does like?
Remus really didn't like Snape teaching his class did he, It was weird to see him getting so angry! I'm glad clio went after him, even if snape did have something to say!
Great job, again! :D 10/10Author's Response: I think Remus is angry about the way that Snape taught his class, and I imagine their entire angry conversation is held without ever raising their voices; looking at it now that isn't clear from the description, so I will likely go in and edit it to make that more clear. Thanks for pointing it out!
Exactly how Remus would teach his DADA class about werewolves is something that I've wondered about; he's the expert though, so I'm sure he would find a way. :)
I'm not sure that Snape will ever admit to liking any music she plays for him. :) Report Review
Aww, what a shame the party was cancelled it could have been the start of something between Clio and Remus ;P
I like the way you describe snape's hint of a smile as his "ghost smile"- it's quite comical but sad as well!
Is this, no it can't be- fliting with snape ;D
But it was sweet of him to fix her hand for her, and to show her the giant squid! :)
Very nicely written, 10/10 :)Author's Response: Hmm, yes, Snape & Clio do a funny little dance around each other ... I think he is curious and possibly suspicious of her motives, while she just finds him fascinating.
Thanks for continuing to read & review! Report Review
Fred and George, I love them! They are so funny, reminds me of me and my twin sometimes :)
Clio and Remus are so cute together, I hope they end up together! (even if I do adore Tonks ;P )
When you bring all the staff together it's always interesting, I especially love how you said where they all sit but also give a reason as to why they sit there, my favourite reason was Pomona's :D
Another great chapter 10/10 :)Author's Response: Yes, Fred and George are a lot of fun, I like it to have them pop in every now and then ... wow, that's cool that you have a twin! :)
I actually like Tonks a lot, too... Report Review
Aha, That's one of my favourite moments in Prisoner of Azkaban, I like how all the staff find out too, it's an original idea! Much better then just having them all tell each other!
I'm glad that she stood up to Draco, (I think one teacher giving in to Draco is more then enough!) and I also liked how she didn't just imediatly let Hermione say the answer, it made it seem more reliable!
Charity is turning out to be a really fun character, i love her conversations with Clio, there so full of life!
Another great chapter, 10/10 :)
P.s: I'm adding your story to my favourites!Author's Response: Thanks for adding me to your favorites! :) I like Charity a lot, too. I can't say that I know anyone who's exactly like her, but little bits of her have come from many different people that I know. Report Review
I really like Clio so far. She has a snappy narrative voice and some very funny observations to share. I giggled at the idea of accepting the job even if it required washing Dumbledore's underwear ;). The American nickname for Voldemort also made me chuckle. I appreciate that your OC has a well-fleshed-out back story as well.
There were only a few errors in punctuation, spelling and capitalization; overall this was quite solid. The only error that really popped out at me was the spelling of Beedle the Bard. I know you were concerned about the summary but I wouldn't change a thing, I like it the way it is :)
This was fun to read and I look forward to more. Please feel free to re-request!Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading & reviewing! I'm glad to hear you like it so far. I spent a lot of time thinking about her background (more of it gets revealed in bits & pieces) so it's good to hear that it's appreciated.
Thanks also for pointing out the misspelling of Beedle! I will have to go back and fix that at some point ... Report Review
This just keeps on getting better!
I love them taking books out of the library without madam pince realising.
Ahh,there so sweet together ;D
I also loved the bit with Neville- 10/10 :)Author's Response: Glad you liked the bit in the library, I thought it would be funny if Madam Pince were as scary to the professors as she is to the students. :)
Also glad to hear that the romance aspects work okay, sweet is what I was going for, but not cheesy.
Thanks again! Report Review
Ha! I love the weasley twins, you've got them wrote out perfectly! :)
Ah, Lupin is one of my favourite characters- I hope this blushing is the start of a little crush ;)
Anther great chapter, the characters seem so much fun 10/10 :DAuthor's Response: I'm glad you're continuing to enjoy it! I like putting in all my favorite canon characters here and there, even though they're not a major part of the plot. :)
Thanks for continuing to read and review! Report Review
The chapters just keep on getting better and better- I loved the part describing snape and his 'large schnozz' :D
The story is coming along really well, the characters are just like they are in the books :)
10/10 :)Author's Response: Wow, thank you! :) Snape has been fun to write, but tricky as well, I think. Report Review
Another great chapter :)
I'm glad you've got her to be friends with one of the teachers we don't know much bout, makes things more exciting!
Love the amount of detail and description.
10/10 :)Author's Response: Glad you like that. :) I don't think Charity's mentioned by name until the last book, so I really wanted to flesh her out. Report Review
Hey, interesting chapter! :)
The OC seems interesting enough, for now, hope this keeps up!
The pacing is fine and it flows really well.
10/10 this promises to be an interesting story!Author's Response: Thanks! I hope it stays interesting for you, too. ;) Report Review
You must be god, you have me addicted to this story you've written so incredibly well. I am absolutely smitten with you and the way you write right now. Thank you for it, I have not stopped reading since I began early this morning. I cannot wait for more. I shall bookmark this chapter and check back every day!Author's Response: Not god, just an obsessed nerd :) Thanks for reading & reviewing. I hope you still like it after the next chapter... Report Review
Hi, I'm here from tag.
I'm going to mostly comment on your OC, because I'm pedantic about characterisation. I have a couple of questions for you:
-NEWTs in the wizarding world are roughly equivalent to A levels in the UK, right, and you can only do 5 at the most in two years, not because of intelligence (people who can do 5 are freakishly intelligent anyway) but because of the workload. Your OC will not have had the time to do 10 NEWTs, unless she spent four years studying them. So, how long did she spend studying them?
-Does she have flaws? She comes across as near-perfect.
Apart from those, I can see nothing really wrong with this chapter. In fact, I'm sort of wondering how she and Remus will interact. Should be fun. Well done with this one. ^.^Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
I confess that I know nothing about UK A levels. :) I seem to have gotten NEWTs confused with OWLs: when I was deciding what NEWTs she would have taken, I looked up other characters and saw that Bill & Percy each earned 12 OWLs and Hermione was on track to earn 12 before dropping Muggle Studies and Divination. Five NEWTs seems to be the minimum for healers and aurors, so I will have to go in an edit at some point ... thanks for the tip!
As for flaws ... yes, she's definitely on her best behavior in this chapter because she's at a job interview. Hopefully they emerge gradually over the course of the story, at least that has been my goal as I write. I will say that she lies to Dumbledore in this chapter. ;)
Thanks again for the review! Report Review
awsome new chapter love itAuthor's Response: Thank you so much ... seeing reviews like this helps motivate me to work on the next one. :) Report Review
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