Wow, this was beautiful. Neville is such an interesting character and one of my favorites < 3 You did a really good job writing him!
I liked how you used the quotes throughout the story to show how Neville thought about Gryffindor and what defined them. He must have thought about it a lot throughout his life and the fact that he thought about it that much in that little part of the war shows that it meant a lot to him.
You had a lot of really good descriptions in here. I particularly liked this part:
"Something inside him grew stronger, a burning wishing to burst forth as he gazed upon the faces he knew; these were his friends, these were his peers."
I could literally feel the heat while thinking about how angry, upset and exhausted he was. I couldn't imagine having to go through that.
I also really liked being able to see Neville's perspective about the war. It's always interesting to see how other people react/think of certain things and after reading Harry's POV so many times throughout the war it's really cool to see how someone else thinks of it :)
It was really sweet how Neville finally felt like a true Gryffindor after he put the hat on for a second time. Something just clicked inside him and he realized what it truly meant and it was very powerful and cool to me how you used fire as a metaphor for him.
all in all, really good one-shot. I loved it :)
-Amanda Report Review
Hey there Selene!
Wow, this was a very well-written one-shot! Such "brave Neville" stories are becoming a little overused on HPFF now (as I have noticed) yet I really liked this because of its upbeat and animated narrative. You gave your original touch to the over-used plot so good work there.
I enjoyed this glimpse into Neville's mind during the wizarding war. I liked how you started off with Neville reflecting upon how he didn't think he was brave and such. I also enjoyed the concept of a "fire" blazing inside him - it was a powerful description and I liked how it remained consistent throughout.
I loved how the action unfolded too as the story progressed, and enjoyed the way it ended. I really liked the last sentence and how it sort of tied up the entire piece together.
Though this was short, you had captivated in the story from the start till the end as the manner in which you presented the events was very interesting.
So over all, the plot execution was great, pace was perfect, flow was smooth, and characterisation spot-on. The grammar and all was okay as well, and it made for a great read. I don't have any CC to give you =)
Great job! 10/10
(AditiDraco95) Report Review
Selene you always play with my heart when I read your stories. I think you are the master of perfect missing moments scenes. Every time I read one of your stories, I'm blown away by how you handle everything from the characterization to the feelings the characters have, or the plot. How do you juggle everything so well?
Neville is such a sweetheart. Until the very last moment he doubted himself, despite the fact that he has done so much for the students that remained at Hogwarts for their 7th year. That shows a side of him that I am loving more and more: humbleness. He doesn't realise how valuable he is and how fit for Gryffindor he is until the end. My baby Report Review
Now that was breathtaking, I actually got goosebumps.
You wrote that incredibly well and it was just amazing to read. They way that you described Neville and how brave he was, the way that the fire errupted in him and how he was taken over in wanting to defend Harry. He really is a true Gryffindor and this one shot cements that fact. You wrote Neville fantastically well and I loved that you ended it with Neville taking the sword out of the hat.
This was just brilliant and I really loved reading this. Report Review
This was great! I loved how strong and resilient Neville was. He certainly grew throughout the series and his part in the battle certainly proved that he deserved to be in Gryffindor. I loved your descriptions of the scenes around him. Both Neville and Voldemort was written in character which was awesome. The flow was great and I really enjoyed it. Great job.
~Celtic~ Report Review
YEA! I absolutely love Neville! This is awesome. I love that even as he watched Voldemort approaching he still was questioning his own braveness. Your words painted the picture exactly as it seemed to be happening inside Neville's mind. The imagery of an internal fire inside of him that reflected the fire of the sorting hat was brilliant! I especially love " He was a face for the brave". I feel like it was what we should have read in JK's version! I feel like it makes Neville's whole transformation from nerdy wimp to awesome hero complete!! Awesome job! Love it!! Report Review
Ohhh this was such a big moment in the books. I think you did Neville total justice with putting us inside his head during this.
The way he spent so long doubting that the hat had placed him in the right house, yet there he was fighting with more courage than most. I liked that he didn't know it was Fred that was killed yet. It just made it all feel more like we were right there and it was just happening.
The way that he sort of losses hope before building himself back up, how he's able to focus on the strength he needs to break through the curse, is so well done.
Neville seems perfectly in canon here. He still doubted himself but he's able to pull out the courage, to go through all that doubt and break it apart. I just want to hug him.
Your writing style is really easy to get into and there was nothing that ever jarred me back out. I felt like I was a part of the story until the very end.
And the way you took him from doubting himself being the brave one, a more than worthy gryffindor, was just so well done.
This was an awesome one shot! Thanks for sharing. ♥
Jami Report Review
Proud Gryffie here, Neville is so our hero! =P
Well anyways, it was really nice look at things from Neville's point of view for a change. After all, the poor boy was ridiculed most of his school years and yet he became a man he was meant to be, so strong and brave at heart!
I really liked how vividly you described the battle of Hogwarts, losing friends and the quiet despair of people who opposed Voldemort.
The flow in this one-shot was very good one and I enjoyed how you managed to portray with the words how Neville found his inner fire. There was a couple of little things that you coud check though:
"Something inside him grew stronger, a burning wishing to burst..." Double -ing sounds bit awkward here.
And then Voldy saying "Where was he why you all fought against me so valiant and strong?" should it be when?
But all in all, I really enjoyed this foray into the DH's last moments. Excellent fic!
By the way, thank you for all your work in the House Cup! Report Review
Hey, I'm here for the review swap :)
This was an excellent one-shot! All the emotions were there and they were perfect! I was almost in tears during it... and when he saw Harry alive, even though I knew that was coming, I laughed, cried and silently cheered :p
The writing is just... wow... this was such a powerful story and the writing was so powerful too. I mean... Oh my God, how do you write so perfectly and beautifully? This was such a clean read.
Neville, he is just ze best! I love him to pieces! He is one of my favourite characters so I was thrilled to see this was a story about him and the final battle. They are always the best!
So, overall this was brilliant one-shot and I'm adding it to my favourites.
Sorry this wasn't a very good review :( I left a few today, and after about 3 my(non-existant) reviewing skill just goes down and down :p
~ Eilidh xx
1OOTH REVIEW!! YAY!! :D Report Review
This was an amazing one-shot. I love Neville, he is one of my favorite characters. You captured him so well too! His characterization was spot on. I loved how you had him thinking about bravery the whole time. It all fit together so well, and was just amazing.
This was one of the best Neville stories I've ever read. 1 million/10
Thank you for all your help with the House Cup. It was so much fun!
~Sara Report Review
NEVILLE. Aww I just love this. It really feels like I'm inside Neville's head, and it really is him, not some empty uncharacteristic version of him. Like I got the whole cake, not just the icing. I just love the 'FOR HARRY!!' bit, and that ending sentence was just perfect. It's all very canonical, and just so hjsadhfjsdhfjks good.
I really envy anyone who can describe feelings well, so ... I envy you. Really, this was just gorgeous, I demand you stop writing so good, k?
Sincerely, some ninja. Report Review
very nice i enjoyed that part of JK's booksAuthor's Response: Thank you!! Report Review
This made me want to do a little victory dance for Neville! Yeah! I feel inspired and brave.
I love Neville, he is one of my favourite characters, and yet, he's not in much fanfiction!
I loved the continuing imagery and metaphors of the fire, it was perfect and it really captured Neville's emotions and related into Gryffindor well.
The references to the Sorting Hat were well rounded off, and without sticking to the book, your Voldy is very terrifying!
-SHPFFOAuthor's Response: You guys are so sweet! :) I tried very hard to bring all the pieces of this story together in a tidy way and actually struggled with the fire metaphors at some points. So thank you, I'm glad you liked them! I'm very pleased you liked my Voldemort, since I've struggled terribly with his character in the past. Thank you for such a lovely review. :) Report Review
Excellent insight into how bravery can be found in anyone, all it needed was something to bring it to the fore. And in Nev's case it was pure anger towards their antagonist.
10/10 and adding this to favs.
SHPPFO.Author's Response: That you so much for the lovely review magicmuggle Report Review
Selene! I really enjoyed this piece! I think you did a great job capturing Neville's emotions and thoughts during this time! Your first paragraph was wonderful (as were the rest) as it really pulled me into your chapter and to see Neville as he is. I think Neville's character is really one of the more complex characters she has created with the fact that he could have been the chosen one and I think that you did a great job showing the progression of his character in his thoughts alone. There was only one spelling mistake that I saw in which you use why instead of while. Other than that one mistake though this piece was really great and and enjoyable read. Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
I like it, and yet I'm not sure I really do. It's a brilliant read none the less, and written very true to character. Well done, I'll be sure to read more of your stories :DAuthor's Response: Well thank you! I was very nervous about this since it was out of my comfort zone and I had never written Neville as the main focus. Always as the secondary character. Thank you for the review. Report Review
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